“He was brilliant. Though not as good as you.”
“You are too kind, my lady. Perhaps you would like me to play something special for you?”
How did she not recognize his voice? Or did she, and was able to hide it?
“There is one song … though I doubt you would know it. It’s a song from my homeland.”
“I know songs from many lands, my lady. I might know it.”
“It’s called ‘The Flower of Winter.’”
Lem remembered it well. He used to play it for her often, and since leaving Vylari would still play it on nights when he could not sleep, imagining that she was lying on the grass beside him humming softly to the music.
“A silly request,” she said, her cheerful and clearly practiced demeanor returning. “If you will excuse me, I must return to my duties.”
Lem finished the song he was playing, unable to tear his eyes away, his thoughts a tangled jumble of self-recrimination.
What a damn fool he was! She was right there in front of him. Why hadn’t he said something? He had to let her know he was here.
But how? He could not risk her mistress becoming aware of him. He needed to keep his wits if there was to be any hope of freeing her. The problem was, how to remove the anklet that peeked out each time Mariyah took a step? A plan began to form as he strummed out the opening notes of “The Flower of Winter.”
The reaction was instantaneous. Mariyah spun around, a hand covering her mouth. The glass of wine she held slipped to the floor, shattering into innumerable pieces. Tears welled in her eyes.
From a few feet away, Lady Camdon turned to see what had happened, looking alarmed by Mariyah’s reaction. Before Lem had reached the end of the first verse, Mariyah bolted from the parlor, tears streaming down her cheeks. After shooting Lem an accusing look, Lady Camdon followed after her at an urgent pace.
Several minutes passed before the woman returned. She strode directly over to Lem, her expression hard and eyes burning with anger.
“You will leave my home this instant,” she said, taking care to keep her voice low.
“Have I displeased you, my lady?”
“I don’t know what you did,” she said. “Regardless, you have somehow managed to distress my assistant most terribly. I insist you leave without delay. Your pay will be waiting at the door.”
“As you are dissatisfied, I will accept no payment.”
“Then we have no further business.” She turned, a smile appearing as if nothing at all were wrong.
The target was standing near the rear exit. Lem had almost forgotten about him. He stood, slinging his balisari across his back and reaching into his belt, where the dart was waiting to do its deadly work.
Disappointed voices complaining that they wanted him to keep playing followed him out. Lem simply bowed, telling them that he was feeling unwell and had requested the Lady give him leave to depart.
As he passed Lord Ranson Lupardi, a quick flick of his finger completed his assignment. It would be a few hours before the poison took hold, long enough so that no one would ever discover who had done it or how.
A servant then led him to the back entrance at which he had arrived. Along the way, he hoped to catch sight of Mariyah. But she was nowhere to be seen.
“Can you convey a message to Lady Camdon’s assistant?” he asked the servant.
“It depends on the message,” she replied.
“Tell her I’m sorry if my music upset her.”
The woman nodded, then closed the door. The path leading to the edge of the east garden was well guarded. In fact, he had noticed guards positioned throughout the grounds. It was an unusual degree of security, even for a noble as wealthy as Lady Camdon. There were certainly wards in place to keep people out at night. Normally, this would be enough to deter him from what he intended. Now, however, nothing would stop him. He had found Mariyah. One way or another, he was determined to let her know that he had not forgotten her.
The tingle of shadow walk itched in his belly as he ducked behind a low hedge. Wards were designed to keep people out. But he had no intention of leaving.
25
THE SORROW OF A DREAM COME TRUE
To bathe in the joy of life, you must first learn to accept that one day it will end.
Mannan Proverb
It couldn’t have been him, she thought, unable to contain her tears. Despite telling herself this repeatedly, merciless doubt still tore at Mariyah’s heart like savage talons. How else could he have known that song? She had mentioned it purely as a jest: one only she would understand. She cursed herself for running out the way she had. She should have insisted that the man show her his face. At least then she would know that it wasn’t Lem. But the balisari … and the way he played it …
“Are you all right?”
Lady Camdon was standing in the doorway.
Mariyah wiped her eyes. “Yes. I’m fine. Give me a moment and I’ll return to the party.”
“I’ve sent the guests home,” she said. “Along with that dreadful musician.”
“No!” The desperate word flew out before she could contain it. “What I mean is, why did you do that?”
Camdon let out an exasperated sigh. “I was in no mood for the idle banter of fools. And your sudden and quite conspicuous departure set tongues wagging. The thought of explaining what had happened was giving me a headache.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It really was nothing. The man playing the balisari reminded me of someone, that’s all.” Saying it out loud was making her feel ridiculous. Of course it wasn’t Lem. How could it be? And the song he played, “The Flower of Winter,” could easily be known outside of Vylari. For all she knew, Lem’s mother had learned it during her time in Lamoria. She was jumping to conclusions.
“That someone wouldn’t be the young man you followed from Vylari, would it?” Camdon asked.
Mariyah nodded. “Yes. But I was wrong. It wasn’t him.”
“So you don’t want me to find him and bring him back?”
The temptation to accept the offer was almost too much. But the dark vision she’d seen with Belkar flashed in her mind. The emotionless soldiers. The fire, the ash. “No,” she forced out finally. “I can’t keep dwelling in the past.”
“In that case, I think it is time we moved on to more useful endeavors. Tomorrow I will begin teaching you transmutation.”
Mariyah’s eyes lit up. “Are you serious?”
“When am I not?”
Of late, Mariyah had become even more frustrated with the lessons. She found glamor tedious, and in her opinion had already mastered as much as she would need. She desperately wanted to learn things that could help her to protect Vylari from the evil she knew was coming. Belkar would not be defeated by glamor.
Lady Camdon moved to the edge of the bed. “Let’s say for a moment that you did find this love of yours. What would you do then? After all, you braved the unknown to find him. Would you not want to go away with him?”
Mariyah tucked her knees to her chin. “I’m not sure. Yes, I still love him. I think I always will. But now that I know what’s coming and what I must do to fight it … I … I just don’t know.”
Camdon regarded her for a long moment. “Even if it wasn’t your young man, there’s always the chance you will see him again. So I suggest you decide where your duty lies. I need to know that I can count on you. I can’t have you falling apart. Not with so much at stake.”
The coldness of her remarks sparked a surge of anger. “Yes. I’m sure love isn’t something that you would know a thing about,” she retorted. “I … I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’d just like to be alone, if you don’t mind.”
“I understand. More than you realize.” Lady Camdon turned to the door and then paused. “We are alone, Mariyah. It’s a bitter thing to learn. But better that you come to terms with it now.”
“Were you ever in love?” The question was spoken before Mariyah could think about why she had
asked.
Lady Camdon lowered her eyes, looking almost remorseful. “Yes, I have loved,” she said. “And I’ve been loved in return. I know you may not believe this, but I do understand how you feel.” She looked up, the hint of emotion gone as quickly as it appeared. “But you know as well as I do what is coming. Love will not stop Belkar. Evil is not defeated by good, Mariyah. Evil is defeated by the strength and conviction of those who refuse to break. You have chosen to fight. As have I. Love is not a luxury people like us can afford.”
Having made her point, she swept from the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
A chill ran through Mariyah. People like us. Was that how Lady Camdon saw her? A younger version of herself? The thought was unsettling. The possibility that one day she might become as cold and callous as the Iron Lady … never. Yet the truth in her words could not be denied. It would take strength and conviction to defeat evil. But did that have to mean to the exclusion of all things good? What was the point in protecting the world without knowing kindness and love?
While settling into bed, Mariyah was not sure she was capable of turning away from her own feelings. It truly would mean becoming like Lady Camdon. Still, it had been surprising to hear that she had once been in love. Gertrude had said on several occasions that the Lady was not always so distant. Though she was not forthcoming about the details regarding the Lady’s past, claiming it to be private and not a proper topic for casual discussion.
While drifting to sleep, “The Flower of Winter” played in her mind. Curiously, for the first time, Lem was not the one she imagined playing it.
* * *
Mariyah awoke with a start. For a moment she thought to call out. Then a draught blew over from the open door, drawing a relieved smile. Lady Camdon must not have closed it properly. She slipped from the bed and pushed it shut.
Kylanda’s attack had prompted Lady Camdon to believe more security was warranted, and guards were now patrolling throughout the manor. Her wards would still keep out most adversaries, but as they had learned, once inside, there was very little to prevent someone from moving about freely. Mariyah didn’t like this new arrangement; it made her uneasy when she heard their boots stomping along outside her room at night. Nevertheless, Lady Camdon had insisted it was a necessary precaution.
She double-checked to be sure the door was securely closed, then turned to the bed.
“Mariyah.”
“Lem,” she gasped.
She backed into the door, hands clutched to her chest. Though she had uttered his name, she still could not believe what she was seeing. There he stood beside her bed, his balisari slung across his back and the wide-brimmed hat she had seen earlier now in his hands. He was smiling nervously, tears welling in his eyes. He looked exactly the way she remembered, yet at the same time somehow changed … Older?… No, that wasn’t it. But something was different about him.
“Yes, it’s me,” he assured her.
Mariyah felt her knees weaken. Lem tossed the hat away and was at her side in an instant. His hands against the exposed flesh of her arm sent currents racing throughout her body. She had never thought to feel his touch again. Gently, he helped her over to the bed and then took a seat beside her.
“It was you, wasn’t it? This evening … in the parlor.”
He placed his hand on her cheek. “Yes. You have no idea how hard it was not to say something.”
“How did you find me?”
Before he could respond, a colossal rush of emotion overcame her. Without thinking, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with utter abandon. He tensed for the briefest of moments, then returned the kiss with a passion to rival her own. Time lost all meaning. The world around her simply dissolved. The only thing that existed was the unbridled joy of reclaiming the love she had carried with her throughout the worst nightmare imaginable. And amazingly, it was undamaged. No … better than that. Their love was stronger than before. Made so by the power of undying hope.
When their lips finally parted, she buried her face in his shoulder, the salt of their combined tears lingering on her tongue, clinging to him as if fearful that should she let go, he might evaporate.
“I thought I would never see you again.”
His voice was a gentle whisper. “I will always find you. Nothing can keep us apart forever.”
After a time, she released her hold and gazed into his eyes. Those beautiful gray eyes. “How did you know I was here?” she asked.
“I didn’t. All I knew was that you had been imprisoned and forced to serve some noble.”
“No, I mean, how did you know I left Vylari?”
“Shemi told me.”
Her eyes shot wide and joy instantly swelled her heart to near bursting. “He’s alive?”
Lem smiled. “He is. And he’ll be happy beyond belief to know you’re all right.”
“But how? I thought for sure they would send him to the mines, or worse.”
“It’s a long story. One I can’t wait to tell you. But first, we need to get you out of here.”
“Lem … I…”
“I haven’t yet found a way to release you from your anklet. But there must be a way.”
“Lem.”
“Once you’re free, I can get you out of Ubania easily enough.”
“Lem. Listen.” She could tell he wasn’t hearing her. His joy and excitement were too great.
“I have enough gold saved to buy us a house,” he continued. “Or even a farm if you want.”
She gripped his arms. “Lem. I need you to listen to me.”
Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her tenderly. “Forgive me. I’m just so overwhelmed. I will listen for as long as you want.”
“Can you make it to the east gate without being seen?”
“Of course. Why?”
“Wait for me there.”
Lem furrowed his brow. “What’s wrong?”
She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek, then kissed his palm. “Nothing. I’ll be there shortly. Just make sure no one sees you.” When he hesitated, she said, “Please. I promise I’ll be just behind you.”
Lem stood and kissed her once more. “Are you sure? The anklet…”
“Don’t worry about that. Hurry now.”
She could see the excitement in his eyes. It was clear he had longed to be with her as much as she had longed to be with him. And now … they would be together. He smiled at her over his shoulder as he opened the door. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment,” he whispered.
She returned his smile. When the door closed, she said, “So have I.”
She assumed Lem had not left the grounds; otherwise the wards would have been triggered. Lady Camdon was particularly adept at creating them, so unless Lem had brought a powerful Thaumas along, it was the only way he could have gained entry. He had likely used shadow walk to evade the guards on his way to her room, which meant he’d be able to make it back to the gate unseen just as easily.
Mariyah crossed over to the wardrobe and changed into a pair of silk pants and blouse, together with a pair of suede shoes she often wore when walking the garden. While passing the dresser mirror, she paused. Her tears had ceased.
Only moments after leaving the room, she spotted one of the guards rounding a corner in the hallway. As he drew closer she recognized him as Bram, among the first to be hired after Kylanda’s assassination attempt. He had taken a liking to Mariyah from the first moment he arrived, saying that she reminded him of his younger sister, and always made a special point of patrolling the corridors near her chambers. Mariyah thought it sweet that he was so protective of her.
“Are you all right?” he asked, upon seeing her approach.
Mariyah pressed a finger to her lips. “Please. I don’t want to wake Lady Camdon.”
The guard lowered his voice. “Are you well? I heard you left the party early.”
“Too much wine,” she said. “But I’m fine now.” A feeble lie, but Bram was not the bright
est of men.
“What are you doing up at this hour?” he asked.
She gave him a quick smile. “I just need some air. You know how it is when you fall asleep too early. I thought a walk around the garden might help.”
He nodded understandingly. “The same happened to me at my nephew’s birthday. Fell asleep before the sun set. Took me days to get back right again.”
Mariyah knew that if she didn’t stop him, he would chatter on endlessly. “Exactly. Thank you for the concern, Bram.” She started to move on.
“I can walk with you, if you like.”
“That is very kind,” she told him. “But I think I need to be alone right now. Another time, perhaps.”
“Of course, my lady.” He gave her a polite, graceless bow. “But if you need some company, I’m always around.”
“Thank you, Bram. I will remember that.”
She waited until he continued down the corridor before starting toward the east wing. Along the way she passed a few more guards, but once they saw who she was, none attempted to stop her.
She tried to picture Lem ducking through the halls and chambers, nimbly staying hidden by using a skill well learned while hunting in the forests of Vylari. She wondered what he had been doing all this time. Clearly he had found his niche as a musician and built up quite a reputation. She had heard the name Inradel Mercer being spoken on a few occasions. But there were still other unanswered questions she was eager to hear explained. For a start, how had he managed to find Shemi? And why was he going by a name other than his own?
Arriving at the servant’s entrance she stopped, shut her eyes for a few seconds, and focused on the beating of her heart. Just one more step, she told herself. That was all she needed to take.
With her resolve firmed, she exited the manor.
The night air carried with it a powerful scent of lavender and jasmine. Though the garden was bursting with all manner of sweet-smelling flowers, these two were Lady Camdon’s favorites, and she had cast a charm so that it was their fragrances that dominated each of the three gardens surrounding the estate. Mariyah paused beside a wooden bench beneath a large willow in the garden’s center. On warm days, she would leave the library and bring her books here to study. This had raised a few eyebrows in the beginning. The freedom she was allowed was unusual, even by Lady Camdon’s standards. She huffed a contemptuous laugh. For all the glamor she had learned, freedom was still the greatest illusion.
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