Then, I made the biggest mistake.
When he placed me in bed and leaned over to tuck me in, I kissed him. Hard. He looked horrified, and I was embarrassed and humiliated. I apologized, repeatedly, and asked him to keep it between us.
He’d answered, “Don’t we always?”
That was my first kiss.
“Lauren, I—”
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago.” It wasn’t that long ago, but I didn’t want to relive that moment.
“We never properly discussed what happened.”
“What happened was that I kissed you, Cary, and it was a big mistake. I really don’t want to talk about that here.”
“You never want to talk about it. Every time I try, you run away.” He gave me a look.
I knew he was right. “Why do you insist on prolonging my humiliation, Cary?”
“That’s it, love. Why are you embarrassed? It’s natural to want affection. You were hurting, and it wasn’t because of your ankle. You were going through a difficult time, and you needed me, and I couldn’t—”
“Please, stop.” I could feel the suppressed pain of that night uprooting itself. “You wanted to discuss something, and I know it wasn’t that.”
He hesitated, but continued. “You need to keep an eye on Blake. He’s been . . . associating with the wrong people.”
“Who?” I needed to know.
“Some questionable cast and crew. Trust me. They’re the wrong kind of people he wants to be mixed up with, and Blake is too trusting.”
I contemplated what he said. “I agree that Blake is too trusting, but he has you.”
“I’m not around all the time, and he needs to watch himself. This industry can grant anything he may want or dream, but it often comes with a price. And you need to be careful as well, Lauren.”
Cary’s face frightened me a little. “Yes, sir.” I shook my head and stood to leave. I had promised Mamaw I would go with her to see one of her friends in the hospital. “I have to go.”
I waved goodbye to Blake and the guys, as Cary took my hand and walked me out. That electricity thing happened again, and I couldn’t help looking down at our intertwined fingers. His touch felt different, for some reason. When I glanced up, he was staring at me, seemingly in deep thought.
As we came to the top of the stairs, I turned to him. “How long are you in town?”
“Until today. I’m heading to New York tomorrow to do a charity show.”
I held my disappointment in and tried to keep my voice light. “Will you get to see your dad?”
“Probably. He’s one of the sponsors.”
“Are you two getting along?”
“For us, yes. He still tries to control my career.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. Victor likes to be in charge.”
“Trust is key to the amount of control he allows. If he’d trust me enough to know what’s good for me, then our relationship would be much better.”
“I don’t think he’s going to change, Cary. Look at Mamaw. The older she gets, the more set in her ways she becomes. I’m learning to just accept her for who she is.”
He suddenly displayed a big smile.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I returned his smile.
“I’m proud of you, Lauren. Hearing you come to terms with who she is . . .” He smiled bigger. “You’re growing up.”
“I’m not saying it’s been easy, but I realized it was holding me back. One good thing, I think, is it made me stronger.”
“I believe it did.”
“So, when will I see you again, or will I have to wait another ten months?”
“I’ll be back next Friday. I told Blake I would be here for him.” He paused. ”And I rented a flat in the city.”
“Cary, that’s great! Hey, why aren’t you staying at Mamaw’s?”
“I’m going to stay in the States for a while. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“You know that’s not possible. She would have loved for you to stay.” Heck, I would have loved him to stay.
“I’ll be in and out, and doing a lot of work from home. One benefit. You can crash at my place anytime.”
“That would mean I’ll be seeing you more often?”
“As long as you can stand it, love.”
The workday was full of excitement. Ashley freaked out because the catering heating units weren’t working on set. To top that off, the cast “didn’t feel like eating” what was on the menu, and they wanted pizza instead.
In between filming, a few extras helped me pick up lunch from a local pizzeria. I discovered one woman worked with electrical wiring, and she assisted with repairing the warmers.
“Make sure the casts’ pizzas are warmed first,” Ashley barked. The casts’ pavilion area was connected to the crews’ tents, but offered privacy when needed.
“Hey, Lauren.” I spun around, startled by Neesha’s appearance.
Maybe I was paranoid, but every time I was on set, it felt as if someone were watching me. I hadn’t seen that creepy guy around, but I started to become hyperaware of my surroundings, and obviously, startled by any surprise.
Neesha stood there, with a huge smile on her face, as blood dripped from her ripped clothing.
“Are you okay?” I looked her over.
“Can you believe they gave me a scene, Lauren? They’re going to film me eating people. This could finally be my big break!”
“That’s great! Little Brock’s mommy is going to be a star.”
“Shut up!” She grabbed my hand.
We giggled and did a happy dance.
I saw a glimpse of my childhood friend, but we had changed a great deal.
“I can’t wait for you to meet Brock. He’s getting cuter every day. He does this thing now, when he lies down, he looks up to the sky, and talks and plays with his hands, as if he were playing with someone.”
“That is too cute, and I can’t wait to see him.”
“I’ve been giving my mom a break. I have a sitter over for a couple days a week. The sitter says he sees angels. That’s what he’s doing when he’s laughing, talking, and playing in his crib.”
“I’ve heard people reference that before.”
“I have, too. It’s strange how a child can see them, and poof, they’re gone as adults. She said they’re covering him.”
Why that comment made me quiver was odd, but something about it seemed off.
“Hey, you still with me?” Neesha interrupted my train of thought.
I looked back at her, watching as the blood continued to drip from her body. “I’m really happy for you, and you’re eating scene.”
“I get to dine with Quinne Larouch,” she added, doing a little curtsey thing.
“Wow, that’s big.” I started to refill the trays with more pizza slices.
“I know! I’m excited and nervous at the same time. We were about to start shooting, but they decided to break for lunch early. Look who’s being pigs.” She glanced over her shoulder.
We turned and watched as the cast members surrounded the pizza tables.
I recognized a few who were at Alligators on New Year’s Eve. “I’m bad with names.”
Neesha stared at me as if I were from another planet. “You have no clue who these people are?”
“I know faces, but that’s about it.”
Neesha’s mouth dropped down and stayed that way.
“I know. I need to pay more attention.”
“That would be wise, since you work here,” she pointed out.
I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, I will.”
She shook her head and started telling me who everyone was. “You know who Quinne Larouche is, right?”
I nodded.
She was tall and extremely thin, with beautiful, prominent facial features. She had full lips and huge doe eyes. I believed she was from somewhere in Africa. Her dark skin glowed, and I’d kill for shiny, pin-straight hair like hers.
&n
bsp; Neesha took a slice of pizza off the tray, and then tilted her head over toward Quinne’s left. “The cute guy to her left, with dark hair, is Xavier. He plays the best friend of Joe, a.k.a. the Jackson Cruz character. The big redhead standing by Xavier is Robert Pena.”
“He’s huge, like a human tank. You could swing from his arms.”
Neesha laughed. “He’s obsessed with physical fitness and body building.”
“How do you know all this?”
“How do you not?” she countered.
“I don’t pay much attention to celebrity news.”
“I love reading The Explorer. You find out a lot about people.”
I was surprised she would believe anything written in those tabloids. She spoke as though she knew those people personally.
“You know everything you read in those rags isn’t true, right?”
“Well, yeah. I’m not stupid. Sometimes it’s true, though.” She shrugged.
“Maybe, but I think they’re an invasion of privacy.”
“So what if I read them? Who cares? A lot of people read them, or they wouldn’t be on the grocery shelves.”
Neesha had a point, and I was a little touchy when it came to tabloids. I’d seen numerous articles and blurbs about Cary that weren’t true. Even though he said it came with the territory, it was intrusive.
A bubbly, petite, blonde, with a spray-on tan, came skipping into the room. She snagged a slice of pizza and inhaled it as if she hadn’t eaten in weeks.
She was my kind of girl. Not afraid to get pizza sauce all over her face and laugh while doing it.
“That’s Zara. She’s Joe’s love interest.”
“Who?”
“Lauren, keep up. Jackson plays Joe, and Zara plays Genesis.”
“Sorry.”
“You really need to—”
“I know. I’ll learn their names, go on.”
“Genesis is Jackson’s love interest on screen and off.” Neesha grinned, all-knowingly.
“I remember. Genesis and Joe are police partners and they like each other. Though, I’m not sure if ‘like’ is the right word.” I chuckled. “They had sex on a countertop while on a stakeout. I do recall that from the first movie.”
Now I understood what Cary meant about sex scenes. They were hot.
“Do they finally hook up in this movie?” I asked, then froze.
Wait!
Did Neesha say love interest on screen and off?
She must be mistaken.
I rewound what she said. Frantically, I tried to remember anything I heard or saw about the film. A flash of a red dress Zara had worn at some premiere came to mind, because Ashley commented about liking it. I had seen Jackson and Zara on magazines covers, but I’d assumed it was normal promotional stuff.
“Lauren, have you heard anything I’ve been saying?”
I was stuck on, “both on screen and off.”
I didn’t realize I blurted that out until Neesha said, “You are out of the loop. Why do you not know this? Jackson and Zara’s steamy relationship is the reason the movie’s a blockbuster.” She started to walk away, leaving me in my daze. “Gotta go, but you need to catch up fast. I’ll bring you some magazines,” she added, waving goodbye.
As I stood there stock-still, my mind screamed for Neesha to tell me more. Unfortunately, she didn’t read minds.
Thankfully, my autopilot turned itself on. I had a job to do, and it didn’t matter how humiliated I felt. My first thought was he just wanted someone to play with who was new and local.
Nevertheless, after our date, I thought . . . Well, I was naïve, and he probably planned another date because he didn’t get any on the first.
My mind brutally mocked me by bringing back my old insecurities. It kept repeating fool, stupid, idiot, gullible, and naïve.
Why didn’t I heed Cary’s warning? He was right, as usual.
Luckily, Ashley was busy. She didn’t notice my mood, and I didn’t have to answer any questions. With all the menu changes, she stayed distracted the entire day.
She gave orders, and I did what I was told. I washed dishes, replenished pizzas, and cleaned tables. Whatever was required, I did it.
When she asked me to put out the desserts, I nodded and started walking—and kept on walking. My mind yelled, “Stop! Stop!” but I kept going.
Finally, I did stop outside one of the empty, makeshift buildings, where I sat on the ground and placed my face in my hands.
Then I felt each tear as they dropped.
Why did I cry over him?
I was better than that.
I knew a little bit about how guys thought. Being around Blake’s friends opened my eyes to how different guys were from girls.
As I began to shed the weight, more boys paid attention to me, and even began to ask me out. While most of my dates were uneventful, and almost all were as friends, it was still a turning point in my life. I learned guys viewed relationships different from girls.
Don’t get attached too quickly.
Test the waters first.
I should have seen the signs with Jackson. Sadly, I thought I did—at first. I tried to be as casual about the whole date as I could, but he threw me some curve balls. A lot of curve balls.
I tried not to read more into everything. It was difficult enough not analyzing every look or word.
What was wrong with me?
I only met him a couple weeks ago; I shouldn’t feel hurt.
What did I expect?
Guys could be pricks sometimes.
As I continued to wallow in my newfound ignorance, delusional thoughts poured into my mind.
What if it wasn’t true?
What if it was idle gossip?
I knew not everything written was true. My heart started to buzz with the possibility that Neesha could be wrong.
Regardless whether she was right or wrong, nothing good would come from dating Jackson. He would be gone in a few months, and I would never see him again.
I was freaking out over a fantasy that could never happen; one I wasn’t sure I wanted to happen. There was more to it than him. I had to admit that to myself.
It was time to stop the tears and get it together.
Back at the food pavilion, I started to place the cakes on the table. I didn’t realize Ashley was standing in front of me, with her arms crossed.
“Spill it, Lauren.”
“What?”
“I know something’s wrong, and I’m disappointed you haven’t mentioned one word about your date with Jackson all this time.”
“Blake really has a big mouth.”
“How could you not tell me? That is a big deal. Oh, and don’t get mad at Blake, missy, he thought I already knew. I didn’t say anything to you at first, but I waited, and watched you act like nothing new had happened.”
“Ash, you know I was going to tell you, eventually.”
“Did something happen? Was the date bad?”
“It was fine. No big deal.”
She straightened up and made two fists. “Did he treat you disrespectfully?”
“He was a perfect gentleman. I don’t want to talk about it.” I walked over to the other table.
“Lauren, it doesn’t seem like everything went fine? You used to talk to me, remember?”
That was true. Ashley was the ear my mom couldn’t provide. “I’m fine. The date was fine. Everything is fine.”
“Fine! Then, are you going on another date?”
“I told him I would, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“There’s no point.” I shrugged. “It can’t go anywhere.”
“He asked you for a second date, Lauren. You stated you had a fine time. Why not do it again? Obviously, he likes you and wants to spend time with you. Why not give it a chance? You’re young, enjoy it, and stop taking things so seriously. You could be friends.”
I never thought he might see me only as a friend. However, it sure didn�
��t feel like friends. “You may be right, Ash.”
“I know I am.” Ashley smiled.
“He has a girlfriend.”
She studied my face for a few seconds. “Did he tell you that?”
“No, but I heard he was dating his co-star, and why wouldn’t he? I’m sure she’s perfect.”
“Everything you hear isn’t necessarily true. I thought you, of all people, knew that. Before you get yourself all worked up, ask him. And did you forget you’re Lauren Moreau? Smart, talented, strong, beautiful, and a hell of an artist.”
“I did for a moment.”
“Well, stop your moping. I’m sure he’ll be honest, once you ask him for the truth.” She smiled warmly and returned to arranging the cakes on the table.
“Thanks, Ash.”
“Anytime. Next time, you’d better tell me when you have a date, and I want all the juicy details. I know you’re all grown up, but I miss our talks, Lauren.” She paused then added, “Jackson Cruz. As if I didn’t see that coming.”
Jackson called me when I returned home after work. “Hi. Missed seeing you today. I was working off-site.”
Sadly, the missing you part I wanted to be true. “So, were you busy, Jackson?”
“Very. How was your day?”
“The same. It was pizza day.” I groaned.
“I heard. Why do you sound frustrated?”
“It made for a chaotic day. The cast wanted pizza, and we had to scramble last minute to get it.”
“Don’t let that bother you. It happens all the time.” He laughed.
“Now we know.”
“Tell Ashley we appreciate her. I hope the food didn’t go to waste. When it happens again—and it will—I’ll apologize again for our selfish requests.”
“She donated the leftover food to the homeless shelter.”
“That was nice,” he said. “One time, on another set, someone mentioned Castle Burgers, and soon everyone started craving them. A few of us left during filming to make the run ourselves, which was not a smart idea. It caused a major delay in shooting, and we heard about it from the top. Now they have catering indulge our cravings.”
“That’s really messed up.”
The Devil has a British Accent: Book One: Jackson (White Carpet #1) Page 7
