“Cary, help me here, man. You’re smarter than that, Lauren.”
“Oh, and you’re not? The difference is that I don’t need it to numb myself. That’s what you’re doing, Blake. Numbing yourself. No matter how much you drink, you’re still going to have to face reality.”
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I can’t help it. Please, for me. Deal with this. Get help for this addiction, and stop drinking.”
“I don’t have an addiction. I’ve only been arrested a couple times.”
What the hell!
Looking back and forth between Blake and Cary, I saw the guilty evidence on their faces. I turned my entire body to face Cary.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Calm down, Lauren! I promised Blake I wouldn’t tell—the first time.” He glared at Blake in the rearview mirror.
“How could you think you’re not an alcoholic? Saying you’ve been arrested only a couple times!”
“Most of that happened in college, Lauren.”
“You’re out of college, so explain last night.”
“Enough! Lauren, allow Blake to take in what you said. Take a moment. Blake, think about how this is affecting Lauren, as well as your friends and family. This could also mess up your music career, mate.”
None of us spoke again until we arrived at Mamaw’s house a few minutes later.
We headed toward our rooms as Blake announced, “I’m taking a shower.”
“Good idea, you stink!” I slammed my bedroom door behind me.
I heard Cary say to Blake, “All your fault, mate.”
What was Cary thinking? Warning me to “look out” for Blake. Not saying, Hey, Blake’s been drinking himself into a bloody coma.
Suddenly, an excruciating pain tore through my side as I threw myself onto the bed.
Hearing a knock at the door, I didn’t have to guess who was on the other side.
“Why should I let you in, Cary?” I groaned.
“Because you sound like a dying feline, and you would prefer to yell at me in person.”
He had a good point. I opened the door. “Why did you keep all that from me?”
“Because a friend asked me to, and I need him to trust me, Lauren. I didn’t want to betray his trust. When it became a recurring problem, I did everything I could to help him.”
At that moment, my feet had a mind of their own, stunning us both. I got up, walked over to him, and threw my arms around his neck. He was stiff for a second, then gradually placed his arms around me.
“Thank you.”
“What for, love?”
“For being a great friend to Blake—to me. Also, not stiffening up when I hug you, as you usually do.”
He looked down at me with furrowed brows.
“Cary, you know how you are. Public displays of affection are not your forte.”
“We’re not in public.”
“Really?” I nodded my head toward the door. Blake stood there with a towel wrapped around him. He shook his head, walked away, and shut his bedroom door.
“See. Thanks for not stiffening up.” I kissed him on the cheek.
“How are you feeling?”
“Actually, not that great. I forgot to eat, and I think it’s affecting me.”
“What am I going to do with you, love?”
“What am I going to do about Blake?”
“We will figure it out, together.”
“Do you have any idea what is going on in his head?” I needed to know.
He shook his head, but I had a feeling that he was holding something from me.
It was a very long day, and a hot shower helped to clear my head. The side effects of the pain medicine caused nausea, hallucinations, and what seemed like, memory loss of the last two days.
As I mulled over what happened, and the information I’d learned, Cary and Joel’s conversation continued to pop into my mind. Even though the words kept getting jumbled up in my head, I could remember key words, but not full sentences. Something deep inside me needed to remember.
Cary and Blake were on the couch when I entered the living room. I was weak with hunger, and I felt sick again.
“Guys, did you eat?”
Blake didn’t take his eyes off the television screen. “Waiting for you.”
“Of course you were. Why would two grown men, who know how to cook, fix their own supper?”
Blake and I obviously were at an impasse, but that was how it went. Our mom said we were stubborn and headstrong. I knew Cary meant what he said about helping me see the situation through with Blake. That was all the confirmation I needed. So, I dropped the subject—for now.
I wasn’t fond of cooking, but it gave me time to reflect on things. The women in my family were old-fashioned, and they believed I had to learn how to cook to “catch and keep” a man. So far, it hadn’t helped.
A lot had happened within the past few weeks. My mind was still trying to process everything, but I willed it to take its time. I needed a mental break. I didn’t know how much more I could take.
“Lauren, get in here. Now!” I dropped the knife in my hand when I heard Blake’s booming voice.
“What is it?” I yelled, entering the family room where he and Cary still sat.
They were staring at the TV. Pictures flashed across the screen of Jackson and some woman, kissing? I recognized the atrium from the restaurant where we ate. Then, a close-up of Jackson’s face and . . . my face?
It was me!
Blake turned up the volume as we listened to the announcer. “There may be trouble in paradise for Primal Darkness stars Zara Tilly and Jackson Cruz. Jackson’s seen here kissing a girl, who sources reveal, is Lauren Moreau, a catering assistant on the set of Primal Darkness, currently shooting in Venice, Louisiana. Cruz and Tilly are one of Hollywood’s mega couples, adored for their on and off screen romance. No comment yet from either camp. We contacted Ahriman Studio regarding how this turn of events will affect their upcoming film, but no official statement has been issued.”
“Well, Sue, this is quite an exclusive. Do we know anything about this Lauren Moreau?”
“Not much Dan, but we did locate her mother at the New Orleans Psychiatric Hospital. No statement obtained. More on this story to follow . . .”
I didn’t hear anything else, because everything went black.
“This is too much for her, Blake. I knew she should’ve rested longer.”
“What are you talking about, man?”
“Let’s get her to her room. She mentioned she felt weak. She didn’t eat all day.”
“That prick! How could he let this happen? Did you hear them, Cary? They tried to question Mom! My mom, man!”
“That’s what they do. I tried to warn Lauren.”
“You and I both know there’s nothing we can do about the damn paparazzi, but finding Mom, that’s low. I don’t get it. I’m seen with you all the time and no one has snooped behind me.”
“Lauren’s in a different circle. One you stepped into as well, mate. Jackson has a strong fan following, and being associated with him, won’t be good for her.”
“If anything happened to her . . . if she gets hurt because of him . . .”
“Nothing is going to happen to her.”
I opened my eyes and saw how worried Blake looked. Cary looked pissed.
“You can put me down. I can’t believe I fainted. That has never happened.” I was in Cary’s arms, bridal style.
“Sis, are you okay?”
“I think so. Other than being totally embarrassed, I’m fine.”
“You’ve been through too much, love. You still need time to recoup,” Cary whispered in my ear.
He gently lowered me onto my bed.
“Remember, you said our bodies sometimes react to stressful situations? Well, I think my mind and body had enough.”
“That, and you haven’t eaten,” Cary said. “I’ll go fix something, but first, do you want to talk about
it?”
“Thanks, but no. You guys can leave now.”
“Not yet, Sis. I need some answers. What the hell! You kissed Jackson Cruz?”
“He kissed me, actually.” The guys looked at each other, then back to me.
“Did you know he was dating Zara Tilly?” Cary asked.
“Well, I did and didn’t. Long story.”
“You knew?” Blake looked shocked.
“He told me that night. Look, I trust you both not to say anything. Jackson could get in trouble for this, but it’s a sham relationship built for publicity.”
I was surprised by Cary’s reaction. He was furious.
“Jackson put you in the middle of that!” Cary practically screamed. “Do you know what that means, Lauren?”
“It means our relationship was supposed to be kept a secret. Now, I don’t know what it’s going to do to us.”
“You need to focus on what it’s going to do to you, Lauren. I warned you. You should have stayed away from him.”
“Cary, I like him.” That was harder to admit out loud. “I’m not going to stay away from him unless he wants that.”
“Sis, I like the guy, but if he hurts you . . .”
“He won’t. I won’t let him.” I shook my head. “But, damn, they found Mom?”
“Hey, don’t worry about that,” Blake said.
Cary squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll take care of it. No one will get near her again.”
“Thanks. Can we talk later? I’m really tired.”
“You should be. You had quite a weekend, love.”
I smiled and looked into his beautiful, worried eyes.
“You had to carry me to bed, twice. You’re my hero.”
I forgot all about Blake until he asked, “What is going on between you two?”
“She’s obviously delusional.” Cary winked at me. “Get some rest. I’ll bring you something to eat shortly.”
“Thank you. I love you, both.”
“We know, Sis. Get some sleep.” Blake walked out first.
“Hey, Cary.”
He turned around. “Yes, love?”
“What am I going to do about Blake and Jackson and . . . ?”
“I’ll handle everything.”
The smell of biscuits baking in the oven, plus the aroma of bacon, brought a bit of comfort to me after such a restless night’s sleep. Being Sunday, I knew Mamaw would be cooking breakfast early before church. Because I needed help explaining my situation to her, I went to wake up Blake. I wasn’t facing Mamaw alone.
As I explained my side of the story, she listened quietly—too quietly. Her reaction surprised us both, which was not her usual style. When we would get into a situation, her two-hour lecture would follow, and for days, we’d hear occasional pointed comments. She wasn’t saying much to my current situation, and that scared me the most, as if I were in an alternative universe.
Mamaw was pleased Cary was helping with damage control, and expressed how she wanted me to be happy. I insisted Jackson would never have intentionally caused any of the problems, but she placed most of the blame on him anyway.
The other half of the blame she placed on me. I was becoming “too fast,” “dressing too loose,” and “tempting the wrong suitors.” Mamaw couldn’t harp about my weight anymore, so she began to nag about my lifestyle choices.
I couldn’t win.
I kept thinking about them harassing my mom; it was deplorable. It took everything to contain the boiling anger within me. It wasn’t because I cared about people knowing. I’d found when I explained to people what happened to my mother, they treated me differently—and I didn’t want that. I kept it from Jackson because I didn’t want his pity.
My mom was fine, really—just sick over missing my dad. To have their kind of love, and have it ripped away, would have made anyone insane.
Ashley and I had many conversations regarding my parents. She shared with me one she had with my mother, shortly after my father died.
Mom had said that when it came to my father, she couldn’t think, breathe—or live. She felt as though her body was suffocating, and her heart always ached. Those pieces of her flesh had been ripped apart, and she couldn’t find a way to mend again.
Ashley said it was as if Mom became numb to reality. She cried so much that tears burned her face raw.
My mother had been a wise and strong woman before Dad’s death. She had an intuition that was uniquely her. Ashley thought Mom fought hard to pull herself up from a black hole of despair, before she let go and retreated into her quieted but agonized mind. Darkness was all she knew now, with hopelessness as her best friend.
Ashley always had tears when she spoke of my parents. Tears had been in Mom’s eyes whenever she would speak of Dad. Dad was Mom’s “first” everything. First crush, first date, first kiss, first and last break-up. He was her first and only love. I understood when Mom explained that she couldn’t truly live anymore without Dad—but Blake did not.
I felt her sorrow, and sometimes it made me physically sick to be in the same room with her. When I looked into her eyes, I saw only emptiness.
I held no bitterness toward my mother.
I understood.
Jonathan, Cary’s bodyguard, strolled through the door as he greeted Blake, Mamaw, and me. Mamaw got up and went to her room while I looked at Blake.
“I didn’t know Cary was here.” I said it as a statement, but it sounded more like a question.
Jonathan stopped and positioned himself in front of the door.
“Sis, he isn’t.”
I looked back and forth at the two men. “Am I missing something?”
“I’m not with Cary starting today, Lauren.”
“Why not? You’ve been together for how long? Cary trusts only you.”
“Lauren, he didn’t say he was leaving the job. He’s been reassigned,” Blake clarified.
Reassigned?
To whom?
Oh, no way!
“I do not need a babysitter!”
“It’s not that. We think you need Jonathan until things calm down.”
“No offense, Jonathan, but no way! This is stupid and unnecessary.” I emphasized that as I stormed out of the kitchen to my bedroom and slammed the door.
Hearing the knock at my door, I yelled, “Do you really want to come in?”
“I do, actually,” the tight voice answered back.
Of course, they called him in for reinforcement.
I opened the door. “I thought you weren’t here, Cary?”
“And good morning to you, love. I arrived a few minutes ago. What’s this I hear about you not accepting my gift?”
“Gifts are cards or flowers, Cary. Not people.”
“My gift to you is safety. You need to be covered.”
I was dumbfounded as I tried to collect my thoughts. “Thank you, but you can keep your gift.”
“Lauren, quit being unreasonable.”
“I’m being unreasonable?”
“You don’t care about Ms. Lili?”
I growled at him. “What does Mamaw have to do with this?”
“She’s part of this, too. Do you want her to be harassed?”
Great. Leave it to Cary to use guilt. “Fine. But this is so not necessary, and you know that.”
“Trust me.” He flashed his signature grin.
“That smile is not going to work on me.”
“What?” He feigned innocent, as it grew wider.
I grabbed my things for church and headed straight out the front door as Cary followed. “It’s so scary out here.”
“Are you done?” Cary sounded exasperated.
“No.”
“Yes, you are.” Cary grabbed my hand and turned me to face him.
I shouldn’t have liked it, but I did.
He stared a moment, then started to walk us to a black SUV with tinted windows.
“No armored car?”
“Laugh all you want. These vehicles will be at your
disposal until you don’t need them. Dad insisted.”
“Victor? Does everyone know about this?”
“I’m sure everyone doesn’t know. Especially, those who don’t watch rag news.”
“But—”
“Lauren. This is not up for discussion.”
“Don’t you—”
“Your family will be properly protected whether you approve or not. Is that perfectly clear?”
After I stared him down with my evil eye, what could I say? I didn’t want my family to be harassed. I might not understand why anyone would harm us, but I trusted Cary. “Are you coming to church with us?”
“I have something I need to take care of, but I’ll be back in time to pick you up.”
He pulled me into a hug, but I was still too mad to hug him back. He rubbed my back while kissing my forehead, lingering longer than normal. “How are you feeling,” he whispered in my ear.
“Still sore.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No. Thank you.”
“Everything is going to be all right, love. Ready?” He helped me into the car and shut the door.
It was unseasonably hot, and the church’s window air conditioner wasn’t working—again. Hat feathers flopped side to side from the breeze caused by the parishioners’ hand fans. People shifted uncomfortably in the hard pews as the choir sang another song selection. Mamaw had attended the church for over fifty-five years, and nothing had changed.
Sitting there, I wondered about the decision to come back. Everything seemed to go into high gear the second I returned. I could’ve died—should have died—but by God’s Grace, I was alive.
“Open your Bibles to Ephesians 6:11–12. Read,” the pastor ordered, as he wiped the sweat off his brow.
Another voice started reading from behind the pulpit, “‘Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.’ ”
The Devil has a British Accent: Book One: Jackson (White Carpet #1) Page 15
