3 Granny Snows A Sneak

by Julie Seedorf

  “Granny,” Mavis interrupted in a low voice, “I...ah...don’t think Franklin would approve?” Mavis stepped back a little waiting for Granny’s answer knowing it was a risk to ask that question.

  “Approve!” Granny belted out in a loud voice, “Approve! He doesn’t have to approve. We’re getting married in less than two weeks. We have to get this out of the way before Christmas, before the Fuchsia Pink Flamingo Christmas Parade. He’s going to be my husband, not my keeper.”

  Granny turned to Silas, “Ok, you can help. Just don’t get in my way, don’t steal my donuts and keep the shysters and Baskerville and Mrs. Bleaty out of your house away from that creature you call Radish.”

  While this exchange was going on, Mavis had gone back to studying the notebook. She hesitantly pointed to something in the book. “Ah, Granny, I didn’t know you had a twin sister.”

  At the words twin sister, Granny grabbed the book from Mavis and closed it so hard it made a large clap when the covers came together. Mavis’s eyes opened wide, worrying about what was going to come next.

  Granny ignored Mavis’s question and answered with one of her own for Silas. “Do you have a theory about what this Felix Smart was doing by Ferdinand’s grave?”

  “I do and so does Ephraim. He thinks he was a casualty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s all he would tell me, but I did a little digging on my own. I am sure Ephraim and Thor know this too. He works for Magellan, Magellan and Smart. They were hired by the Amelia Corporation and the Amelia Corporation rented this house.”

  At the word Amelia, Granny’s face blanched.

  Mavis, noticing the change of color in Granny’s face, quickly moved to Granny’s side. “Are you ok? You look like you’re seen a ghost.”

  Granny was silent for a moment before she answered, fanning her face, “No, no, no. I just feel a little weak. The heat’s too high in here and we have these big bulky clothes on. When I get hot, instead of turning red, I turn white, something that’s been with me all these years. Let’s go Mavis; they might be looking for us and I need some cold air.”

  Granny grabbed Mavis and pushed her through the door before Mavis could answer, hollering back to Silas, “Don’t forget to lock up.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Do you mind if we take a side trip by Nail’s Hardware before we go home?” Granny asked Mavis as she started the snowmobile.

  ”Can you drop me at Pickle’s Grocery and pick me back up. I think I can hold on to a carton of Egg Nog on this contraption. I’m getting pretty good at balancing as we go in and out of the trees,” replied Mavis.

  Granny dropped Mavis off at Pickle’s Grocery store putting her head down low, as Franklin drove by in his Escalade. He didn’t appear to notice Granny and Mavis stopped in front of the grocery store.

  Granny cut the engine of the snowmobile, and took a moment to listen to the musical trees on the tops of their respective buildings, serenading the Christmas shoppers.

  Approaching the door of Nail’s, Granny took a look inside through the glass door before entering. She saw Penelope and Butch in a heated discussion about something. Penelope saw Granny’s face at the door and stopped what she was saying, to wave at Granny and walk toward the door.

  When Granny entered, Butch gave a wave, walked through the back room and out the back door. “What was that all about?” Granny questioned, seeing that Penelope had fire in her eyes.

  “Revelation, revelation!” Penelope informed her mother in a raised voice.

  “You’re studying Revelations? I didn’t know Pastor Snicks was having a Bible study group on Revelations.”

  “We were arguing about what should be revealed and what is better forgotten,” said Penelope.

  Granny slowly shook her head. “I see. Something needs to be revealed.” Holding out her hand, Granny indicated that Penelope should proceed with her explanation.

  “Butch knows something that others don’t know, that––should they know, it might help them know more about what they don’t know,” Penelope told her mother in one breath.

  Granny’s eyebrows raised. “Ah, don’t take this wrong, dear, but…uh, uh…” Granny proceeded slowly, not really sure of Penelope’s reaction, “but...uh…you...sound…a little like me.”

  Penelope stared at her mother, eyes wide with fear.

  “I actually know just what you’re talking about,” Granny told her with conviction. “It makes perfect sense to me.” Patting Penelope’s hand, she continued, “Tell your mom all about it. What does Butch know that he’s scared to tell.”

  Realizing what was happening, Penelope jerked her hand out of her mother’s. “What brings you here, Mom?

  Knowing that she was going to learn no more about what Butch needed to reveal to someone, Granny moved on to her reason for visiting Nails. “My wedding is almost here and I don’t have a dress. I thought that maybe I’ve been a little standoffish. Busy. How would you like to go shopping with me and help me find a dress for my wedding?”

  “You want me to help you find a dress?” Penelope asked hesitantly. “Ok? But…we don’t have the same taste.”

  “Well, your taste is a little boring and my taste is not, so we should be able to come to an agreement about something in between. I suppose I should tone it down a little for Franklin. I was thinking something red with sparkling beads. After all, it is Christmas. Then I could wear my high tops under my gown so I can sprint away fast if I need to for whatever reason.”

  Penelope looked skeptical. “Ah, red? High tops? Sprint away? Where would you sprint to if you’re the bride? Are you sure you want me along?”

  Granny walked over to Penelope, grabbed her shoulders, looked her straight in the eye and said, “You can do it! It’s time we bonded. By the way, I know of a big Victorian house you could buy from the new owner instead of living in George’s tiny house across the street, after Thor moves out.”

  Butch came through the back door as Granny was finishing this sentence. He saw Granny, turned around, and walked back out.

  “Something I did?” Granny asked, watching Butch walk out the door.

  “No, something he did. It looks like Franklin is waiting for you outside by your snowmobile. You better find out what he wants. He looks none too pleased.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Granny was now the one looking none too pleased to be sitting in the interrogation room of the Fuchsia Police Department. Franklin had been waiting for her when she left Nail’s Hardware. Apparently, the police had found something when they exhumed Ferdinand’s grave and Granny was needed for questioning.

  “What do they think I did that they put me in this room, Franklin?” Granny looked to the wall on the far left. She knew the police would be watching her. Granny was convinced the mirror, although small, was really a window so other detectives could watch the interrogation process. Granny made a face at the mirror waiting for Franklin’s answer.

  “I’m not privy to that information. They didn’t tell me. They just told me to bring you in. Will you quit making faces at that mirror,” Franklin instructed.

  Granny got up and walked over to the mirror, moved closer, and made squinty eyes to see if she could see the people she knew were standing on the other side. “They make these things pretty good; looks like a real mirror.”

  At that moment, the door opened and the Tall Guy and Thor entered the room.

  “What are you doing peering into the mirror, Mom?” Thor asked.

  “Trying to see who’s watching me on the other side. I know how you guys work when you interrogate someone. I’ve watched those detective shows.” Granny raised an eyebrow and gave Thor and the Tall Guy a knowing look.

  “That’s a mirror, Mom, and this isn’t the interrogation room. This is going to be my new office. Ephraim has agreed to stay on as co-chief of police and detective. We find we work very well together and we asked the City Council if we could share the job. They like what we’ve been doing, so they said yes.”
r />   “No offense,” Granny remarked to Ephraim, “but does that mean your dad is staying too?”

  Ephraim chose to ignore her question and held the chair out, indicating Granny should sit down. “Mrs. Fiddlestadt, did you actually see your husband’s body in the casket before he was buried?”

  Granny raised her eyebrows at the “Mrs. Fiddlestadt.”

  “Nope.”

  “Would you like to expand on that statement, Mom?”

  “Nope.”

  “Hermiony, you need to answer the question,” Franklin instructed.

  “I just did. I didn’t see his body. The last time I saw Ferdinand’s body was when he died at home and Graves’ Mortuary came to collect it.”

  “Did you pick out the casket? What about the epitaph that was on the plaque on his coffin? And why didn’t you have the casket in a burial vault?”

  Granny raised her hands upward in confusion. “What difference does it make? Fuchsia doesn’t require burial vaults. And, yes, I ordered the epitaph. What is this all about?”

  Franklin pulled out a chair, sat down by Granny, and took her hand. Granny looked down at her hand in his and looked Franklin in the eyes. “What is this all about?”

  Thor cleared his throat and exchanged a look with the Tall Guy. “We dug up Dad’s grave today.”

  Granny pulled her hand out of Franklin’s and stood up. “Is that all? I knew that. It had to be empty since Delight’s husband was in the anonymous crypt that you keep saying is mine, in Ferdinand’s clothes, and Ferdinand was in Delbert’s grave in Delbert’s clothes––so Ferdinand’s grave had to be empty. Come on, Franklin; take me home so I can see if Mavis got my snowmobile home ok.” Granny started for the door.

  “Ah, not exactly,” the Tall Guy informed Granny.

  Granny turned to give the Tall Guy a questioning look.

  “It had something in it,” Thor answered, watching Granny closely.

  “Like another dead stiff?”

  “No,” the Tall Guy said slowly, “more like two million dollars. Do you know where it might have come from?”

  “Probably the bank over in Allure that I knocked off a few years back,” Granny answered sarcastically, “right before I picked you up from school so they’d never suspect I was a bank robber. I used you as my cover. What do you think? Stupidest question I ever had anyone ask me.”

  “May I remind you that you never picked us up from school; you always had to stay home on the farm,” Thor reminded her, “but dad did, and the money was buried in his coffin.”

  “So I was burying money instead of Ferdinand when I threw the handfuls of dirt on his coffin at his funeral? Too bad we didn’t know. Pastor Snicks could have had a blessing of the green and I would have changed the epitaph to read, The Buck Stops Here,” Granny chuckled.

  “The money didn’t come from the bank in Allure. It came from a bank in Fish, a small town up in northern Minnesota. Since this was in a time before the internet, if you didn’t get the newspaper, you probably wouldn’t have heard of it. No one was hurt, but the money was never found––until today.” Ephraim Cornelius Stricknine related the story to Franklin and Granny while Thor went behind his desk, poured a cup of coffee, and handed it to Granny.

  At the news about the bank robbery and the money, Granny grabbed the cup of coffee and took a gulp. She coughed. “Are you trying to poison me? You call this coffee?” She handed the cup back to Thor.

  “She doesn’t know anything. Do you need her anymore?” Franklin asked. “I think I should take her home; she’s had enough excitement for one day.”

  Granny looked up at Franklin; if he only knew, she thought.

  It was still snowing lightly as Franklin escorted Granny out of the Fuchsia Police Station. Franklin checked his watch. “It’s lunch time. Do you want to stop at Rack’s and have something to eat? We should talk about some of our wedding details. Don’t worry about the honeymoon; I’ve got it all planned.”

  Before Granny could reply, she felt something cold pelt her back, and a little giggle followed the pelt. Granny turned around to see Angel with another handful of snow. Granny bent down, picked up a handful of snow, and playfully threw it back at Angel, returning her giggle.

  Heather interrupted the little snow fight. “Hi, Dad and Granny; we were doing a little Christmas shopping. The snow is so light and fluffy that it makes shopping more fun.”

  “Granny, did you see Santa?” asked Angel. “He’s over in front of Rack’s restaurant. We were just going there to eat. Can I talk to Santa, Mommy, and tell him what I want for Christmas?”

  Franklin laughed and picked up his granddaughter in his arms. “Let’s go see Santa and find you some chicken nuggets.” He turned to Granny and Heather, “Coming?”

  At Rack’s, Angel stopped to tell Santa what she wanted for Christmas and accepted a gift of a candy cane from him.

  As Granny walked past Santa to go into the restaurant, he shook his jingle bells at her and, with a twinkle in his eye, he slipped a chocolate donut into her pocket. Granny turned to look at him. His eyes looked suspiciously like Silas Crickett’s eyes underneath the suit.

  Once the group was settled in Granny’s favorite booth and they all had ordered, the conversation turned toward the Christmas Flamingo Parade that always took place in Fuchsia the week before Christmas.

  “Why flamingos? Craziest thing I ever heard of at Christmas time!” Franklin remarked to Heather.

  “Why not flamingos?” Granny asked. “Haven’t you noticed it’s cold outside? Horatio Helicourt and the City Council along with the Fuchsia Community Holiday Committee felt it was perfect. Flamingos remind you of warm weather and it’s always cold the day of the parade. So if you think pink, you won’t feel so cold when the street’s like an ice rink.”

  “Ice rink?” cried Angel. “I can skate Granny! Is the parade at the ice rink?”

  “No, sweetie; they flood the streets with water and it turns to ice for the parade, and everyone and everything is on skates on Main Street. The plastic flamingos and the floats are sleds. I must admit, it’s a challenge for the Fuchsia Blue Bird High School Band and the Fuchsia Community Band to skate while they’re playing their instruments. We’ve only had one casualty all these years and that was when Donnie Drum, the band instructor, turned a corner too quickly and started sliding. He slid into a majorette, who slid into the first row of the band, who slid into the second row of the band and you get my drift. We had the sliding trombones meeting the frozen flutes. It was an amazing site––almost like synchronized swimming in the summertime, but on ice.” Granny had a faraway look in her eyes remembering the scene.

  As the waitress set the food in front of them, Granny looked at her plate in amazement. It was her favorite fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, and deep-fried onion rings. She looked at Franklin with a question in her eyes.

  “Hot fudge ice cream and donuts, coming soon.” With a smile, Franklin gave Granny a hug and a kiss on the cheek which caused Angel to giggle.

  Thor came in as they were finishing their meal. Heather stood up, put on her coat and helped Angel on with hers. “We’ll see you later; we need to do some shopping, don’t we Angel?”

  “I’m going to get you a present, Granny. But it’s a secret. Right, Mommy?” Angel looked up at her mother for confirmation.

  “Yes, see you later.”

  Thor took Heather’s place in the booth.

  “Boy, that money threw us for a loop. We didn’t expect to find that.” Thor shook his head, “We’re following up leads, but this is crazy for all of this to have happened years ago and no one ever suspected.”

  “Have you found out how Delight’s husband Delbert was murdered? Delight didn’t know anything about that. At least, that’s what she told me.” Her eyes on Thor, Granny waited for an answer.

  “Apparently, at the time, they thought Delbert’s death was an accident. There was no autopsy and no reason to suspect murder, but when you found his body in your yard, and the aut
opsy was done, it showed a knife wound that was the cause of death.”

  “Why didn’t they find the knife wound at the time of his death?” Franklin asked perplexed.

  “His injuries from landing on the motorcycle and hitting the tree were pretty extensive, so they must not have noticed the knife wound. No autopsy was done because they thought it was just an accident. Ephraim figures that Delbert was standing on the curb and someone stuck a knife into him and threw him toward the motorcycle.”

  Granny asked the question playing around in her head. “Do you think he had something to do with the bank robbery?”

  Thor shook his head. “It’s too early to tell.”

  “My, look at the time!” Granny looked under the sleeve of her coat, pretending to look at a watch that wasn’t there. Franklin, can you drive me home?”

  Franklin winked at Granny and stood up. “Maybe we can talk about our wedding on the way home. We seem to have gotten sidetracked over dinner. He threw a tip on the table for the waitress and headed for the door. Granny hung back a minute with a final word for Thor.

  “You might want to check out and arrest the Santa by the door. It’s not the real Santa. You need to arrest him for stealing Santa’s identity.”

  Granny winked at Thor as she followed Franklin through the door, whispering to Santa as she walked by him, “A donut a day, doesn’t keep the cops away from YOU!”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Granny was ready and waiting for Penelope to pick her up for their shopping trip. After Franklin had driven her home the previous day, he came in and they talked about the details of their wedding without interruption, until the Shysters, Baskerville, and Mrs. Bleaty came home late in the afternoon, wanting their evening meal. They had interrupted the discussion about where Granny and Franklin were going to live after their marriage. Franklin was pointing out that Granny’s daughter would be living across the street once Thor got married, and the despicable Silas Crickett would still be ensconced in the corner house that belonged to Sally Katilda. The menagerie of furry creatures arrived just in time to stop Granny from admitting that Franklin might be right about moving.