by Maren Lee
“You met someone, didn’t you?”
Dammit. As much as he hated to admit it, Erica still knew him pretty well.
“None of your business,” he replied with a smile.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll find out eventually. You got anything else for me, or can I sit down and have a glass of wine?”
“Drink up. I’ll be up in a few weeks for back-to-school shopping.”
“Awesome. See you then.”
“Later, E.”
He hung up and looked at the time on his phone. Katie should be home from work soon. He got up and poured himself a drink, flipped on the television, and decided to wait for a text.
Chapter 11
Katie was spent by the end of her shift. It seemed like everyone who came through the ER that night had either burned themselves doing something stupid, broken their bones doing something stupid, or concussed themselves, again, doing something stupid.
She just wanted to go home and have a gallon of gin and tonic. But she needed to see Brian before she could get sloshed.
He was working the night shift and then would be off until Monday evening. They’d have a weekend together to do couple things. Dinner. Talk about rumors that he's a fucking cheater. Depending on the outcome of that conversation, maybe a movie? There better not be another fucking Avengers movie out. Brian always wanted to see the most recent Marvel or DC Comics movie. Katie liked watching them… but she also liked variety.
Brian has a problem with variety in other areas too.
Katie cringed, trying hard not to be irritated at the lack of spontaneity in their relationship. She needed to focus.
She looked at her watch. 6:30. Shift Change.
Weird.
On evenings when their schedules overlapped, Brian usually came to see her before he met with the surgical staff at 6:00 for patient updates and to go over the schedule for the evening.
Maybe he had an emergency? She pulled out her phone. No text. No missed call. He would have told her if work had changed.
She dialed his number. The phone rang once, then rang another half a ring before being sent to voicemail. Not cool. She went to push the dial button again and a text popped up on her screen.
BC: Sorry, lost track of time. I’ll catch up with you in the morning.
KH: Are you here?
BC: Yes.
KH: Why didn’t you come here first?
BC: I had work to do.
Something didn’t feel right. Brian never lost track of time. He was a control freak.
A vision of Shayna popped into her mind.
Katie decided to walk over to the surgical unit and talk to him face-to-face. If Brian wasn’t in surgery now, there was no reason he couldn’t talk to her.
She went into the surgical lounge first. No sign of him. There wasn’t any sign of him in the surgical unit at all.
Daryl Travis, one of the other residents stood at the nurses’ station.
“Hey, Dr. T. Have you seen Brian?”
“Hey, Katie, he said he was going to L&D.”
That motherfucker.
“Thanks, Doc.”
“Anytime.”
Katie felt rage building inside of her. He lost track of time? Bullshit!
She ran up the stairs to the second floor of the hospital. Labor and Delivery occupied almost half of the floor. The other half was the mother-infant care unit. Katie looked down the first corridor of rooms. No sign of him. She walked over to the second long hallway, still nothing. There were dozens of rooms. He could be anywhere. Maybe you can sweet talk some intel out of the admittance clerk? She walked quietly up to the front counter that bordered both long corridors.
“Hey, Alicia. How are you?” Alicia looked up at Katie like she had no fucking clue who she was.
“Fine. Can I help you?”
Snot.
“Have you seen Dr. Carson? He’s needed in the surgical unit.”
“Oh. Yeah. Over there.” She pointed to the doorway to the nurses’ lounge.
Katie walked over to the doorway and kicked it open with the toe of her leopard print Danskos.
Brian jumped back from the table he was standing at, revealing Shayna sitting on the table in front of where he had stood. Shayna’s arm dropped, as if it had been around Brian’s waist.
Motherfucker!
She couldn’t see if he had been kissing her, but she knew for damn sure they were too close, no matter what the situation was.
“You don’t look like you’re doing much work up here.” Katie folded her arms across her chest.
“Kate, what are you doing up here?” Brian snapped.
“My name is Katie! Not Kate. Quit fucking calling me that. Now what the fuck is going on here?” She gestured between the two of them.
“Nothing is going on here, Kitten,” Brian stated, curtly. Shayna looked offended, her mouth dropped opened.
“I call bullshit. You always come and see me before you go on shift. What the fuck happened today?” They looked at her blankly, so she answered her own question. “Looks like Shayna happened.”
“You don’t know what I have going on in my life,” Shayna defended herself and Brian.
“You’re way off base, Kate,” Brian added.
“My. Name. Is. Katie! How many times do I have to say it?”
Brian stared blankly at her.
Jesus, why am I even trying with him?
A sudden realization hit Katie. If we can’t fix this soon, this relationship is headed for disaster. And she really didn’t feel too awful about that realization.
Ugh.
There was no need to say another word. Katie turned on her heel and began to storm off. She wanted to feel angry, sad, hurt, but she felt…nothing.
“Wait!” Brian shouted after her. Katie needed to cool off before she said something she might regret. “Please!”
She stopped but didn’t turn around. Brian walked around to face her.
“Listen, I know it looks bad. But there’s nothing going on with her. I promise, babe.”
Ugh.
“I wish I could believe that Brian, but I don’t. I was blindsided today in the locker room with rumors that you’re cheating on me.”
“I swear to god it’s only rumors, Katie. Shayna and I are just friends, okay? I promise. Can we talk about this tomorrow when I get off work?”
Fuck.
Katie hesitated for a minute. She wasn’t sure she wanted to call everything off. He was her fiancé. She should give him a chance, right? But even if nothing was going on, he’d lied. He didn’t have work to do. He was sitting here in the nurses’ lounge, on a floor he didn’t work on, to sit far too close to a pretty, young nurse that he didn’t work with.
“If there’s nothing going on, then tell me this story that will make me suddenly feel one hundred percent better about us! You made it pretty clear who your priority was tonight, so I’m not feeling super confident right now.”
“You’re overreacting, Katie,” Brian replied, carefully using her actual name. “I think you need to just relax and let me explain later. I’ve got to get to work.”
Instant irritation crept up her spine. Why won’t you fucking explain now? This reaction to him was new. Normally when he was being snippy with her, he somehow found a way to make her feel bad about it. Brian was an important doctor. She should make his life as easy as possible. She should fix things.
Fuck. What have I been doing?
This realization irritated her. Her momma didn’t raise her to bow down to or kiss any man’s ass, let alone fix a man’s mood swings. No matter how tight his abs are.
Had she really lost touch with who she really was for Brian fucking Carson?
Yeah, you have. You’re settling.
Don’t marry him.
Her feelings of anger and doubt were bubbling at the surface. She felt she was just about to boil over.
Brian cleared his throat.
<
br /> Fucking annoying!
“I’ll talk to you when you get home tomorrow. You better have a good fucking explanation for this.” She pointed to nurses’ lounge. “If I hear another peep about you and Shayna, we are fucking done. Got it?” She leaned in and cocked her head.
It felt good to stand up for herself.
“Of course Kate— I mean Katie.” Brian moved in to kiss her just below her left earlobe.
She pulled away before he could make contact. “Not in the mood. See you in the morning,” she stated curtly as she turned and walked away.
“I love you!” Brian shouted.
“Yep,” she replied, brusquely. She opened the door to the stairwell and began her trek down to the parking garage.
That gin and tonic she’d wanted earlier was going to have to be a triple. Maybe even a quadruple.
➰
Katie felt absolutely sick to her stomach as she drove home from the hospital. Her inner struggle was turning her stomach inside out. What should she do? How should she feel? She was irritated and disappointed and pissed as hell with Brian’s half-assed effort to set her straight this evening. Even if he wasn’t cheating on her, could their engagement even be salvaged at this point?
Don’t forget, he was hanging out with Shayna rather than you.
Did she even want to salvage it?
Katie let out a loud scream as she rounded the last corner before their house. “Fuck! Is it supposed to be this fucking complicated?!” she shouted out loud to the steering wheel.
She hit button on the garage door opener and pulled into the garage. Normally the spot in the garage was reserved for Brian’s Honda Ridgeline, but she didn’t give a shit tonight. That fucker was making her look like a fool.
Asshole.
Katie dropped her bag on the counter and headed for the fridge. She pulled out the tonic and limes and then moved to the freezer to grab the gin. The rocks glasses were not going to be big enough tonight. She opened the cupboard with the beer steins and grabbed the largest one. She estimated it was about 32 ounces.
She poured five shots into the glass, filled it with ice, squeezed a half a lime over the ice, dropped it in, and topped it off with the tonic. It looked glorious. The perfect de-stresser. She was going to be shitfaced when she was done, but it should last her most of the night.
She looked at the couch, and then at the back patio and decided she’d rather go outside for some fresh summer air and watch the sun go down. Summer sunsets in Montana were some of the best. Katie loved Montana. Maybe even more than she loved Idaho. Maybe.
She stripped off her scrubs, tossed them on the floor, and headed out back. She plopped down in one of the adirondack chairs in her purple sports bra and black boy shorts. It was by far the most comfortable thing to wear under her scrubs.
Katie looked out at the view. The mountains in the distance. The Yellowstone River. The city. She and Brian had a fantastic view. His place was great. It’s your place now too, Katie, she reminded herself. But was it really her place? No. It was all about status. It was bought purely to impress his big shot med school friends when they came to visit him in his “quaint” little western town where, in their minds, he worked as a superhero, saving the flyover country rurals from certain death at the hands of non-east-coast-educated physicians.
Fucking please.
When half of her drink was gone, Katie was feeling less empty. She wasn’t feeling much of anything really. No fear, no sadness, no pain…and no happiness.
What even makes you happy anymore, Katie?
The first thing that came to her mind was Ryan’s sexy face with his adorable panty dropping smile. His sexy five o’clock shadow. The salt and pepper in the hair at his ears. The smile lines near his blue eyes. God dammit. If she was truly in love with Brian, shouldn't he be first in her thoughts?
Are you first in his? The answer to that question was easy. No. She wasn’t. Only Brian was first in Brian’s thoughts.
Katie picked up her phone and looked at the screen. No texts from Brian.
See? You had a huge blow-up with him. In a normal relationship, this would likely end in a messy breakup. And hasn’t even texted you to try to fix things or to let you know he’s thinking about you?
What.
The.
Fuck.
Katie took another swig of her drink.
Bottoms up.
She opened up her text messages and scrolled down to Ryan.
KH: You’ve really fucked me up, Blakesly. I was fucking FINE.
It was maybe 30 seconds before the conversational bubbles popped up. Katie held her breath as she waited for a message to appear.
RB: Done with regrets. I’ve had too many in my life. I regret not holding on to you. Regret not fighting for you. If I didn’t tell you how I feel, I’d regret that too.
KH: What’s changed? You do realize this is super fucked up right? Coming back into my life now? What happened to all the societal concerns about our age difference?
RB: FUCK SOCIETY.
Interesting new position from a man who had once been so sensitive about his own age. Katie was intrigued.
KH: You rebel.
“Stop flirting, Katie,” she said out loud, scolding herself.
RB: You like a bad boy.
Mmmm. Ryan was not wrong.
KH: You must have me confused with Lucille.
Katie giggled. God dammit, Katie. You need to stop. She told herself that, but she knew she wasn’t going to listen.
RB: Oh I know Lucille likes a bad boy, but you don’t mind breaking rules either.
Her heart rate sped up. Ryan remembered the name she used on multiple role playing occasions. Lucille was a high class call girl. And her John ate her up. For a price. She went warm between her thighs just thinking about it.
RB: Quit thinking about it. Knowing you’re thinking about it makes me hard.
Damn him. How did he know?
KH: Whatever, egomaniac. I wasn’t thinking about it.
RB: Liar
KH: How could you possibly know I was lying?
RB: Because you brought up Lucille. You know I give in to her every time.
KH: Well, she’s a tough negotiator.
RB: She does drive a HARD bargain.
KH: LOL You’re ridiculous. ;)
RB: Don’t text emojis to me. Send me a real one.
Katie turned on the camera and took a selfie of her flipping him off with her middle finger on her tongue. She hit send.
KH: Is this what you’re looking for?
RB: Jesuuuuuuusssssss. Yes. That fucking mouth. I would give anything to feel it on me again.
She went flush. The vision of him filling her mouth with his cock made her ache.
KH: You can’t say shit like that. You’re gonna get me in trouble.
No response. Katie didn’t mean to shut him down completely. Just clean up his act a little bit.
A push notification for Facebook messenger popped up. A secret message set to delete in five minutes. Ryan.
RB: All right. Let’s do this in here instead. But don’t worry, I won’t talk about anything inappropriate.
KH: thanks.
RB: I won’t talk about the way it felt when I filled your pussy with my cock on that first thrust. Or about how I’d wrap your hair around my hand and tug it when I’d fuck your ass and you fingered your pussy. I won’t talk about that stuff.
Her mouth went dry as she squeezed her thighs together. Fuck. He always knew just what she liked to hear. Damn, how she’d missed talking dirty and fucking in public places. She took another swig of her drink. Holy hell. It was almost gone.
KH: Yep. Those are the things that you can’t talk about.
Katie turned off her screen and set her phone down. It lit up almost immediately.
Ryan Blakesly sent photo.
She ached between her thighs, wondering what photo he might send.
She swiped right to open it. Holy fuck. It was a photo of her sitting on Ryan’s face in black and white. She vaguely recalled taking the picture herself with Ryan’s phone. Ryan was looking up at her. His eyes visible. His mouth buried in her pussy. Dammit. Her panties were damp.
Alert! Alert! You have completely departed the friend zone. But Katie was crazy to have thought she could ever be in the friend zone with Ryan Blakesly.
