by Debra Cowan
“He’s right,” Jericho said, his eyes as hard as steel.
Deborah tried again to step out of Bram’s hold. He put his lips to her temple so anyone looking would think he was brushing a kiss against her skin. She froze.
“Millie’s not the only one talking, Deborah. Chesterene is also taking you apart.”
She looked up at him, blue eyes dark with hurt. “I thought it was just Millie.”
The woman had done plenty of damage on her own. “Sorry.”
“But I don’t want to be engaged.” Her voice trembled. “And neither do you.”
“This is way past what either of us want.” Her soft fresh scent drifted to him. “Unless you mean to send me packing in front of everyone, you’re now my intended.”
“You have to do it, Deborah,” Catherine urged. “It isn’t fair to either of you, but Bram’s right. This is the only thing that will help your reputation.”
Deborah’s gaze sought her brother’s.
The dark flush on his face showed he was still enraged, but he spoke in his usual calm tone. “I’m afraid so.”
Bram felt the fight drain out of her.
“All right,” she said quietly.
“I’ll get a blanket and some food and meet y’all for lunch.”
“Just come on, Bram.” Catherine gave him a wobbly smile. “We have a quilt to sit on and plenty of food.”
“All right.” He moved his hand from Deborah’s waist and would’ve stopped there if he hadn’t seen Millie gaping.
He clasped Deborah’s hand as they followed her family past the church to an ancient oak. Along the way, they passed Jake and Emma. His sister-in-law looked completely poleaxed at his announcement, but Jake nodded to show he understood what was going on.
Bram helped Deborah take her seat on the quilt not far from where his family sat. He eased down beside her, but she wouldn’t look at him. He couldn’t even get mad at her. She didn’t deserve any of this.
And Bram had just done what he’d sworn he wouldn’t.
The harder they tried to steer clear of each other, the closer they got.
And now they were engaged.
Which neither of them wanted.
* * *
Well, she couldn’t be mad at him now. An hour later, after they had eaten lunch with her family, Deborah wavered between gratitude and irritation. Last night, Bram’s duty-like proposal had angered her, but she couldn’t be cross this time.
He had just announced to the entire town that they were again a couple and he’d done it because some women were saying bad things about her. She hadn’t realized the damage that was being done to her reputation until Bram had told her.
First they were engaged. Then they weren’t. Now they were.
She needed a headache powder.
Sunlight filtered through the spreading branches overhead and Bram’s shadow stretched over her as he stood and held out his hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
She looked around nervously. “I think I’ve been the topic of conversation enough today.”
“That’s exactly why we’re going.” He bent and cupped her elbow, helping her to her feet. “To show Millie Slack Jaws and her friends that we’ve—you’ve—done nothing wrong.”
She searched his blue eyes, not protesting when he tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. She glanced down at Jericho, who leaned back against the tree with Catherine. Jessamine had taken the baby to their house for a nap.
“Bram’s right,” her brother said. “If you hide, Mrs. Jacobson will just have more to talk about.”
“Ooh, that woman makes me so mad,” Catherine said.
She made Deborah mad, too. “Very well.”
She nodded at Bram and they began their walk by heading toward the church. He settled his hat on his head and she adjusted hers, too. The blue ribbon matching the stripe in her dress fluttered from the flat brim.
The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to reveal strong hair-dusted forearms. Beneath her touch, Deborah felt his hard muscles and the heat of his body.
No one would’ve blamed him for not caring what the gossip might do to her. Last night she had been clear about not wanting a fake engagement. She knew her brother had played a part in Bram’s suggesting it, but Jericho had nothing to do with what had happened earlier.
Bram’s actions weren’t driven by a burning desire to be with her, but because that was the kind of man he was. Wishing he might change his feelings about her was fanciful. And dangerous. Still, she couldn’t let his action go unrecognized.
They walked past Lizzie and Cal Doyle, and his brother, Jed.
Deborah took a deep breath. “I wasn’t gracious about it, but I appreciate what you did. And what you’re doing.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiled down at her, and for a moment she went dizzy.
Every time he flashed that dimple, it chipped away at more of the distance she’d put between them. Made her start thinking that things between them were something that they weren’t.
“I didn’t know the gossip was this bad,” she said
quietly.
“It’s vicious.” His handsome features hardened into a cold mask as he glanced in Millie’s direction.
“Maybe this will be the end of you rescuing me.”
“That’s not how I look at it. You didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t have to suffer for it and I’m not going to let you twist in the wind.”
“Thank you.”
He walked her past Millie and Chesterene, all but daring them to say something. Deborah adored him for that.
Adored? No, she corrected. She appreciated him for it. That was all.
They approached a dark-haired man who was lunging for a toddler and a blonde woman sitting on a quilt holding a baby.
“Do you recognize them?” Bram asked in a low voice.
“No.”
“It’s Riley and Susannah Holt.”
“He’s my cousin.”
Bram looked at her in surprise.
“Jordan reminded me. And Davis Lee is his brother.”
“Yeah.” His eyes were soft on her face.
Riley scooped up the curly-haired toddler, her golden hair gleaming in the sun.
“Papa, don’t drop Margaret!” the little girl shrieked as a rag doll fell from her chubby fingers.
The rancher caught it. “Here she is. She’s okay, Button.”
The child hugged the doll tight.
Bram smiled at the nickname Riley had called his
adopted daughter since the day she was born.
Stepping into the shade of the pecan tree where the Holts sat, Bram tugged at one of the little girl’s curls. “Howdy, Miss Lorelai.”
She buried her face in her father’s neck, peeking out with big blue eyes.
Chuckling, Bram gestured to Susannah and the dark-haired little boy asleep on her shoulder. “Looks like Ben is tuckered out.”
Deborah knew Bram was naming everyone for her benefit and she lightly squeezed his arm in gratitude.
Susannah stroked her son’s hair. “He’s had a full day. Learning to walk is hard work.”
Riley shifted his daughter to his other arm. The little girl’s curls were the same shade of gold as her mother’s. The rancher’s shrewd gaze moved from Deborah to Bram.
“I guess congratulations are in order.”
Deborah felt Bram tense, but his tone was easy. “Thanks.”
“Yes, thank you,” she added.
Susannah looked up. “Have you talked about when you might have the wedding?”
Deborah almost choked.
Bram pressed her arm tight into him. “Not yet.”
Riley’s piercing blue eyes settled on Deborah. “A
unt Jess said you leave soon for your position in Abilene.”
“Yes, in several weeks.” Her mother had told her. That was why her family had found it so odd when Deborah had left a note saying she was going on to Abilene almost two months early.
She had yet to share with her family that she wasn’t sure she still wanted to teach. And she would have to notify the school board. She felt like such a fraud. With a fake fiancé and a job she would probably quit.
“Good luck to you,” Riley said.
Susannah nodded. “You’ll do well.”
“I hope so.”
Nodding goodbye, Bram drew her away.
Deborah could feel Millie Jacobson’s gaze boring into her back. “I think she heard every word.”
“Well, I don’t see how she could make anything bad out of that.”
She hoped not. “How long have Riley and Susannah been married?”
“A little over two years.” He grinned. “Her brother sent her to Whirlwind under the assumption that Riley wanted to marry her, but he knew nothing about it. And he didn’t want to marry again.”
“Again?” It was hard to picture the rugged rancher with another woman.
Bram sobered. “His first wife died in a dust storm. That’s another reason why I didn’t think twice about both of us staying in that cabin. I’d do it the same way again.”
She glanced back at Riley and Susannah. “They seem very happy.”
“I think they are.” He guided her up the slope behind the church. “Have you let the school board know you’ve changed your mind about the teaching position?”
“Not yet.”
“You could always report for the job and still do it.”
“Even if I wanted to, who would keep someone with no memory?”
“You’re a good teacher.”
She looked at him in surprise. “You don’t have to say nice things just because we’re alone.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Irritation? “I’m not. It’s the truth. You are a good teacher.”
“But I don’t know anything about myself. The only life I remember is what happened after you found me. I have no roots, no history.”
“The board members don’t have to be told that. Who knows? By the time school starts, you might have your memory back. Besides, you’ve recalled some of your education knowledge. If you had to, you could study up and probably learn it all again, double-quick.”
She tilted her head. “Why are you encouraging me? You don’t want me to teach.”
He stopped, his gaze leveling on hers. “I didn’t want you to leave in order to do it. There’s a difference.”
They both quieted as they approached his brother and sister-in-law.
A tow-haired toddler clomped over to them, green eyes sparkling. She lifted her arms expectantly. “Bwam, hold.”
“Yes, ma’am, Molly.” He swung her up, flipping her upside down. She gurgled with laughter.
Seeing him with the little girl made Deborah’s breath catch. She swallowed past a lump in her throat to ask Emma how Bram’s uncle and cousin were doing.
“On the mend,” Jake’s wife said with a quiet smile.
As they visited, Deborah noticed how Jake seemed to always be touching his wife. Or she was touching him. The adoring looks they shared made Deborah wonder if that had been the way she used to look at Bram.
Jake took a wiggling Molly from Bram. “Welcome to the family, Deborah.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, catching the curious gaze Jake shot Bram as they took their leave.
No doubt Bram would fill his brother in later. For a few moments, neither of them spoke.
Her gaze was caught by the way Bram’s hair curled slightly at his bronzed nape. As they walked, the powerful length of his legs brushed against her skirts.
His dark hair made the blue of his eyes even more noticeable. The Sunday shirt he wore stretched across wide shoulders and tucked neatly into the lean waist of his dark trousers.
Every woman at the picnic, married or not, gave him at least one look.
For every person they saw, he gave her a name and a fact about them. He held her hand curled over his arm. She inhaled the deep male scent of him, fighting a sudden urge to rest against his solid muscled chest.
Occasionally he would look at her with a teasing warmth in his eyes. If she hadn’t known better, she would have believed they were a couple.
She could follow his lead, pretend they were a couple in order to shut up Millie Jacobson and that girl Chesterene and anyone else who cared to gossip.
Still, Deborah’s nerves stretched taut as they made their way around the church. They spoke to Ef Gerard and his wife, Naomi, as well as Russ and Lydia Baldwin. Deborah caught sight of the other Baldwin brother, Matt. Just as big as Russ, he stood between the church and the Whirlwind Hotel next to his fiancée, Annalise Fine. It was a great relief to Deborah to know someone by face and name.
The doctor came over to ask how Deborah was while Bram spoke to Matt. After a brief visit with the couple, she and Bram made their way back toward the church.
She was keenly aware of the weight of Millie Jacobson’s disapproving stare.
She wanted away from the scrutiny and overly curious gazes, but the worst thing she and Bram could do right now would be to disappear from sight.
A sturdy red-haired man walked by, calling out his congratulations on their engagement.
“That’s Hoot Eckert,” Bram explained.
At Deborah’s quick look, he nodded. “Yes, Chesterene’s daddy. He runs the newspaper, The Prairie Caller. He’s generally good at keeping things to himself, so I don’t know where his daughter gets her leaky mouth.”
The term startled a laugh out of her.
Bram grinned. “Haven’t heard that one before?”
“Well, I don’t remember,” she said smartly.
He chuckled, squeezing her fingers.
Several more people wished them well, making Deborah squirm inside. “We’re lying to everyone.”
“Because someone told lies about you,” he reminded her with a scowl. “We’re justified.”
No matter how gallant he was, she knew he didn’t
really want to be here with her. “How long do you think we’ll need to stay engaged?”
“I don’t know. What Millie’s done makes me want to burn some powder.”
Was he this angry on her behalf? Deborah wondered. It was no small thing he had done for her.
They stopped at the side of the church beneath the overhang so they were out of the sun. He looked down at her, smoothing a thumb over the furrow between her brows. “Stop fretting.”
“I can’t help it.” She still held his arm with one hand. His eyes were dark and intense. “When you came to church this morning, you didn’t know you’d be leaving with a fiancée.”
“Neither did you.”
“True, but it’s so unfair to you.”
“It’ll be okay.” He grazed her chin with his thumb, his gaze locked on her mouth. Anticipation hummed inside her. Was he going to kiss her?
She wished he would, but not out of duty or because someone might be watching. She wanted him to kiss her because she was his.... Just his.
The thought startled her and she glanced away. No. No, no, no. She couldn’t forget this relationship was only pretend.
“Surely our walk has satisfied even that Millie woman.
You’ve done your duty and I thank you, but I’m sure you’d rather be somewhere else, probably with your family. We don’t have to be together every minute, do we?”
“No,” he said slowly, studying her face. “But it will look odd if you can’t bear my company longer than this. We’re supposed to be in love.”
“But we’r
e not.” Her nerves twanged. “You made your feelings about us quite clear the other night.”
His eyes narrowed. “You mean when we kissed?”
“When I kissed you. I believe that’s the way you
put it.”
He didn’t reply or stop her when she slid her hand from his arm. She turned to start back toward her family.
He snagged her wrist, his touch gentle yet firm. “Deborah, what I said that night? It wasn’t true. The reason I kissed you wasn’t because you asked. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t wanted.”
She faced him. “Then why did you tell me differently?”
“I just don’t think I—” He broke off, visibly struggling with his words. “I don’t think we should get involved again. That’s what I should’ve said. When you get your memory back, you’ll leave. That was your plan anyway.”
She noticed that he didn’t say his reason for keeping her at arm’s length was that he didn’t want her. A little thrill of excitement went through her at that.
“When things return to normal, I don’t want you to feel that you have to stay in Whirlwind.”
“Do you really think my life will ever return to normal?”
He was quiet for a long time, then said, “I don’t know, but if it does, I want your choices to be your choices. I want you to be able to do what you want.”
Her heart clenched tight. Right now she wanted to stay here with him. She knew she wasn’t thinking clearly, because for the first time she wondered if she wanted to remember at all.
Chapter Ten
Deborah knew the magnitude of what Bram had done for her. So did her family, as evidenced by the fact they now believed he could walk on water.
Having attended church together two Sundays in a row, shopped together at Haskell’s and dined at both The Pearl and The Fontaine, Bram and Deborah were getting good at acting like a couple.
Their appearance together earlier today at the wedding of Annalise Fine and Matt Baldwin had gone a long way toward convincing anyone who might be doubtful. The nuptials had also forced Deborah to admit she wanted another chance with Bram. She had no idea what he wanted, so she tried not to let her desire show and she checked herself every time she wanted to touch him.
