by Alpha, A
There’s not a sound coming out through the wall separating us.
I touch the white wood of the door and curse my stupidity in my mind. I just made a stupid bet with a guy I like, and it has taken me up until now to realize Rubi is more than a bet to me. And worst of all, much more than a stepsister.
That goddamned kiss, the way she looks at me with hate mixed with lust. Those are things I’m going to want again… over and over again, in fact.
Chapter 10 – RUBI
Days later, I haven’t seen Jax since the concert. I have no idea where he is, which I hate – but what I hate even more is the fact I care about his whereabouts.
He doesn’t even shoot me one of his naughty text. I’m pretty sure our kiss was a one-off, something he’s forgotten about already.
Too bad I’m still stuck on the way he tastes.
But I refuse to think about it, forcing my mind to switch thoughts as soon as Jax enters them. I can’t afford to get hurt right now, and so I decide to focus on spending time with the new family.
I think I was wrong about Valerie, that’s for sure. I’ve been cooped up in the house for days because of the sunburn, and also because I don’t want to see Susie. Surprisingly, I’ve been spending my time with Valerie instead.
Dad disappears on these mysterious errands every day, and Valerie and I hang out, make food and just talk.
She’s definitely different from my mom.
Back in LA, my mom is all about work. She works long hours at a lawyers’ office, pretty much leaving me by myself, which is fine by me. But sometimes, I just miss having someone at home whom I can talk to.
Valerie told me she had always wanted a daughter, but after Jax’s Dad left her, that hope was pretty much extinguished. I tried asking her about my Dad’s mysterious errands several times, but she won’t tell me a thing. She says I’ll find out everything soon enough. How cryptic.
Today, Daddy promised to come home sooner, and Valerie and I have been busy preparing lunch for the three of us. None of us know what Jax does, but I’m sure he’s plenty busy – and I try to pretend I don’t care.
I’m waiting for Daddy when he walks in, I crush him in an embrace as soon as he’s through the door. Laughing, he hugs me back, smoothing back my hair.
“Thank God you don’t have my hair,” he grins, smoothing down his own bald head as I laugh. Daddy’s been shaving his head for years, and he often jokes about his premature balding.
“Well, I got the best from you and the best from mom, didn’t I?” I give him a cheeky wink and he laughs, shaking his head.
“Rue, let’s go have a drink on the porch,” he suggests. “You bring the iced tea, and I’ll be right down.”
I nod, happy about having at least a little bit of time alone with my father. He’s been so absent since Jax and I got to the beach house that I’m having trouble believing this trip is about family bonding.
I prepare two glasses of ice cold tea and tell Valerie we’ll be ready for dinner in about half an hour. Then I carry them over to Daddy, who’s sitting on the swing on the porch.
It’s the one thing Valerie and Dad kept after my mom and I left this place, and I love that they chose this out of everything. I understand a bit more now the need to renovate, after Valerie confessed she felt like my Mom was watching her from every dusty corner.
But this swing has a special meaning for me. I’ll always remember those long and lazy afternoons when Daddy and I would sit here together, our noses stuck in books.
“Thank you, pumpkin,” Dad smiles as I hand him a cold glass, taking a long sip of the drink. I settle next to him, and he puts an arm around me. We just stay like that for a good long while, watching the scorching sun while safely enclosed in the shadows.
“Are you having fun, Rubi?” Dad asks me hesitantly, and I look at him with questions in my eyes. “It’s just that I don’t think you’re getting along very well with Jax,” he explains, sighing.
I blush, thinking of all the ways I am getting along with Jax. “Daddy, there’s a difference between us in age, y’know.” I try to be believable with my excuses.
“I guess all the banter makes you two brother and sister,” Daddy chuckles. My blood curdles in my veins, because I most definitely do not want to be Jax’s sister.
“I guess so,” I mumble.
“You know, I always hoped you’d get a brother,” Dad sighs. “And now here’s another family for us. I think we’ll be very happy together… Valerie and me, and the two of you.”
I feel so sick I have to get up. “I’ll go set the table,” I say, feeling the waves of nausea riding my body.
“Oh, okay.” Daddy sounds surprised, downing his drink. “I’ll be right in there, honey.”
I rush inside, leaning against a cool whitewashed wall and waiting for the sickness to pass. But it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere as I realize Daddy thinks of Jax and me as brother and sister.
Because I’m now realizing, I might want more.
Shit.
***
I refused to speak to Susie when she called for days on end, but as the doorbell rings on a Monday, I know it has to be her. Today I’m alone, with Jax God knows where and Valerie and Dad both out taking care of some errands.
I’ve not been to the beach in days, both because of my sunburn and because I don’t want to face Susie. Truth be told, I’m bitter about what happened, and I’m afraid I’ll expose myself if we talk, and she’ll know I like Jax.
I’ve been thinking about Adrian a lot, too. I barely remember him from when we lived here permanently. He seems to have taken an interest in me, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him.
He’s pretty much the exact opposite of Jax with his surfer boy looks – curly blond hair, blue eyes and super tanned skin. I feel like he’d be good for me.
At the same time, I’m well aware of the fact that my body wants Jax, not Adrian.
I get up from my bed groggily, despite the fact it’s past lunch, heading downstairs to open the front door. Just as I suspected, Susie is standing on my doorstep, glaring at me as she barges right past me into the beach house.
“What the hell, Rue?” she asks angrily. “You have a reason for ignoring me?”
I follow her tiredly into the living room. The house is deserted and I feel so very lonely, knowing there’s not a person in the world whom I can talk to about my real feelings.
“Well?” Susie asks expectantly, crossing her arms in front of her body and glaring at me accusingly. “Why are you so angry? Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head, unable to tell her how I feel, even though I want to confide in someone. But I’m so afraid of what she’ll think if I confess that the reason behind my coldness is her snuggling up to my stepbrother. It’s so sick.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me,” she threatens as I start walking away towards the kitchen. I busy myself by making iced tea, and on second thought, I prepare a glass for Susie as well.
She looks at me with confusion as I prepare our drinks, and I decide to speak up.
“This might take a while,” I say, “and you might hate me afterwards.”
“Well, honey,” Susie is quick to respond, “then we better make those iced teas a bit more fun.”
I snicker, and we rummage through the liquor cabinet together. Dad used to have quite a collection of bottles, but now it’s down to just a few. We settle on rum and pour some into our frosted glasses. Susie has a heavy hand, and we giggle as I try to stop her from putting too much in.
Finally, we head outside towards the pool area. We settle on the lounge chairs, our drinks cool in our hands. I pull down my sunglasses, hoping that being masked by mirrored shades will make this a little easier.
No such luck, though.
“Spit it out,” Susie encourages me, slurping her drink through a striped straw.
I sigh, realizing I won’t be calm until I get this out. Maybe that’s all I need – to admit I have the h
ots for him, and then it will be easier to fight the way he makes me feel.
“Well, you know,” I say, already cringing at the thought of admitting this out loud. “I’m kind of split between two decisions.”
“Yes,” she nods, waiting for me to go on.
“I like this guy,” I admit, thinking of Jax, “but he’s all kinds of wrong. He’s so wrong it’s not even legal.”
Susie’s eyes widen, and I look at her out of the corner of my eyes, wondering how she isn’t getting this yet. I sigh and go on.
“There’s another guy as well, who would be a much wiser choice. Safe, sweet, kind. Nothing wrong with him.”
“Except he’s not guy number one,” Susie interrupts and I look at her with my eyes wide, nodding. Then I watch as realization sinks in, and she gasps out loud.
“Oh my God,” she breathes. “Jax? Jax is guy number one?”
All I can do is nod, and somehow, it’s as if a dam has broken. I push up my sunglasses and look at Susie desperately. “Oh please, Susie, don’t think I’m some weirdo. We’re not even related; I met him a short while ago. Is it so fucked up?”
She looks at me hard as if she knows how much this means to me. Finally, she sets her glass down on the tiles and reaches for my hands, smoothing my skin with her fingers.
“No, stupid,” she calms me down. “It’s not fucked up. Why would it be? I’m not some grandma who is going to judge you for having hots for a guy you met two weeks ago. Who cares if your parents are married? You aren’t related.”
It’s as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, even though we haven’t resolved much of anything. But just knowing Susie doesn’t judge me for feeling this way makes me feel a lot better.
“What I’m worried about is this,” Susie begins, biting her bottom lip, “Are you mad at me? I swear I had no idea you liked him, and we didn’t even do anything … I just thought he was so hot, and I started talking to him. I swear, nothing happened.”
I give her a long look and smile. Susie gives off the wrong impression, I’ve realized, because she seems like some silly bimbo. In reality, she’s actually such a sweet girl.
“No, I’m not mad,” I admit. “I should’ve told you sooner.”
Susie gives me a tight hug before settling back into her lounge chair and whistling. “Well, has anything happened with either of the guys?” she wants to know, and I blush.
“Oh, you little minx!” she shrieks.
“Shut up, Susie,” I snap, laughing at the same time. “Okay, Jax and I kissed. But he hasn’t talked to me since.”
“So what should I do?” I ask her next, nervously twisting a beach towel between my fingers.
“Well, what do you want to happen?” Susie asks, giving me a serious look.
I don’t know how I got so honest – it might be those insanely strong iced teas we’re drinking, but I’m not holding anything back at this point. “Everything,” I admit, my voice hoarse as I think about Jax.
“Well then, just do it,” Susie shrugs nonchalantly, and I blush again. I don’t think she knows the true extent of my worries, but I appreciate that she isn’t prodding me for more information. She could have asked what guy I’m talking about, but she knows I’ll tell her when I’m ready.
“You think I should?” I ask her.
“Why are you so worried? It’s just hooking up,” Susie laughs it off, but when she sees my petrified expression, she changes her tone. “Unless… it’s not?”
I blush, hating my skin more than ever.
“Why is it a big deal?” Susie rolls her eyes. “Because you like him, and you want more?”
I nod, gulping down a lump in my throat. “Yes and … you know. It would be my first time.” The last sentence comes out in a whisper, and I’m pretty much hoping it was quiet enough for Susie to not hear.
“What?” she screeches, and I blush an even deeper red as she jumps up from the lounge chair and starts jumping up and down. “Oh my god, you’re kidding! A real live VIRGIN! This is so exciting!”
I can’t help but laugh as I try to calm her down, and we end up jumping around together, laughing and teasing each other. I feel like a kid, but somehow, this feels good. It’s out in the open, and the world hasn’t stopped. Susie isn’t judging, she’s just teasing. And I’m so fucking grateful to have her as my friend.
“What’s going on here?” a voice interrupts from behind us, and Susie and I freeze on the spot, turning around to check out the intruder.
Of course it’s Jax, because my life could not resist throwing a curve ball at me. Susie snorts behind me, but I’m too busy staring to notice or respond.
He’s wearing swimming shorts. And nothing else.
His upper body is in full display. Jax’s glorious tattoos are glistening with droplets of water, his hair dripping with the salty liquid. His eyes are in such sharp contrast to his tanned skin I’m pretty sure I might just faint on the spot.
“Oh, nothing,” Susie slurs instead of me, and I give her a stern look, which makes us both erupt in giggles. “Rubi was just telling me …”
“NOTHING!” I yell at the top of my voice as Jax looks at me curiously, and Susie dissolves into a fit of giggles. “I was telling her absolutely, boringly NOTHING.”
I pull her after me towards my room as Jax throws down his surfboard. He shakes his wet hair out and stares after us, looking more confused than ever.
“Phwoarrrrr,” Susie comments. She makes a paw-like gesture in his direction, for which she earns a slap on her butt. Then, I pull her inside the beach house, giggling like crazy.
Chapter 11 – JAX
I’ve been doing my best to avoid the beach house at all costs. When I come across Rubi and Susie by the pool, I’m struck by just how much the distance made my heart grow fonder. Just seeing Rubi in those goddamned cut-off shorts and a see-through top makes me go wild.
After we kissed, I did something that was necessary, but at the same time, definitely not what I wanted. I decided to keep my distance, realizing that as soon as we took this attraction further, it would be hard to go back. Because while I still want to win that bet, I’m afraid of what I feel around Rubi.
I’ve never been in love, never even gave a girl a second thought after sleeping with her. I fuck them, then I’m gone, and because of my reputation, it’s what girls have come to expect. The fact that I don’t want to do that with Rubi scares me.
So seeing her and her friend – whom I was talking to at the concert and who pales in comparison to my stepsister – on the patio … It makes me long to touch her again.
I’m thankful when they disappear back into the house, giggling about something or other. I don’t have the energy to pretend I don’t care about her, when my head is screaming at me to just make her mine once and for all.
To hear them giggling in the room right next to me might drive me crazy, so I decide to cool off in the pool, wash off the salt from the ocean. While I swim laps, I replay the events of the last few days in my head.
I’ve been going to the beach every day, spending time with my new friends. The worst thing is, I’ve been hanging out with Adrian, and I’ve come to realize he’s a great guy. If he were a douche bag, this whole thing would be much easier. But there’s a big thing keeping us apart — the bet regarding my stepsister. It makes our every interaction guarder, our actions carefully calculated.
The bet. That stupid fucking deal I made with him, which he’s desperate to go through with.
I don’t know why, but he’s intent on making this bet work for him. Well, that’s a lie – one look at Rubi tells me why he’d want to win. I also think it’s a pride thing for him, needing to prove that he can beat me. And obviously, he doesn’t want to lose his car.
I know he’ll go to Rubi with the truth eventually, I’m just hoping I get to be the one to tell her about the bet beforehand.
But until then, there’s just one thing on my mind.
I need to get Rubi before Adrian does. For h
er own sake as much as my enjoyment.
I take a quick shower after swimming, listening to the noises coming from Rubi’s room while I do so. When I’m in the bathroom we share, there’s a wall separating us and knowing that drives me insane. But I can’t hear shit, so I figure her friend left.
When I get out, it’s already time for dinner, so I get dressed in shorts and a tank, heading down into the kitchen. Rubi and mom are already there, and I linger by the door, listening to their conversation.
If there’s one thing I’ve realized by now, it’s that Rubi is a tough nut to crack. She curses all the time, acts like a little rebel and is a general pain in the butt.
So it shocks me to hear her talking to my mom pleasantly, even giggling and laughing along with her. After a few minutes, I can’t take it anymore, so I walk into the kitchen to check out the scene.
Mom and Rubi are sitting close together, like friends. They’re giggling about something, whispering to one another. And for some reason, that makes me so fucking happy. I’m glad my mom and Rubi like each other, so I smile, too, sitting down next to mom at the table.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, trying to butt in to the conversation.
“Jax, don’t be nosy,” mom says, and it makes me laugh that she’s so protective of Rubi. I know she’s always wanted a daughter, and if she has this connection with my stepsister, that makes me happy.
I try to forget the fact that it will make it more complicated for me if I follow through on the feelings I have for Rubi.
“I see you’ve already started,” Tony says as he walks in, a tired smile on his face. He sits down at the table, and we dig into our dinner. It’s pot roast night, and I make sure to compliment mom on her cooking. She smiles, and the evening gets a little bit better.
I’m regretting putting the distance between me and Rubi after that kiss. I can see her looking at me from time to time, and her gaze is hopeful, which twists my insides. I feel bad about the bet
After dinner, we all sit back with our bellies full. I keep sneaking glances at Rubi, hoping she won’t notice. Every single time our eyes meet and she blushes, my grin grows wider. It’s so fucking juvenile and stupid. And this girl might just be the end of me.
