by E. L. Todd
“It takes two people to make love, not one.”
“Then I’ve been doing all the work in all my relationships.” She moved off him then lied beside him. Fernan disposed the condom then snuggled beside her.
“I’m glad I could make up for all of that.”
“You certainly did.” She rested her head on the pillow and felt Fernan’s body beside her. The apartment was quiet, and their breathing became elevated.
“I have something for you,” he said. His hair was ruffled and messy from being on the bottom. The strands were in disarray.
“What?” she said excitedly.
He nodded to the dresser. “Open the top drawer.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Just look,” he said simply.
She left the bed then grabbed the handle of the dresser. When she pulled out the drawer, she peered inside. It was empty. “What am I looking at?”
“It’s yours,” he said. “You can leave your things here so you don’t have to do the walk of shame every morning.”
Abby processed his words for a moment. “What?”
“It’s a drawer to keep your things.”
She felt the panic set in. “Wait…hold on.”
Fernan saw the emotion in her eyes. He sat up and looked at her.
“I don’t want a relationship. I made that crystal clear.”
“It’s just a drawer,” he said innocently. “I just—”
“I said I didn’t want to be serious. But you did it anyway.” She grabbed her clothes from the ground and dressed herself.
Fernan sighed then got out of bed. “Abby, calm down.”
“No,” she snapped. “Fernan, I don’t want to hurt you, but this isn’t what I want. I never signed up for this.”
He grabbed her shoulders and steadied her. “It’s just a drawer, Abby.”
‘Then it’s a key to your apartment, meeting your family, getting engaged…I don’t want that.”
“Darling, please calm down.”
“Don’t call me that.” She pulled her dress on then left the bedroom.
Fernan chased after her. “Abby, please talk to me. Don’t go.”
She grabbed her purse then put it over her shoulder.
Fernan blocked the doorway. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. You made it very clear that you didn’t want to date anyone. I just thought the drawer would be easier for you.”
She eyed him. “Fernan, what is this to you?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “What is it to you?”
“We’re just friends.”
“That sleep together?”
She nodded.
“Then that’s what we are to me.”
Abby looked at his face and saw the stoic expression. His eyes were unreadable. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“Abby, I’ve been a bachelor my whole life. I’ve never planned on marrying.”
“Why?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I can’t find anyone that likes me for me, not my money or status in life.”
She sighed. “So, this relationship works for you? I love you, Fernan and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You love me?” His eyes changed slightly, becoming hollow.
“Of course I do.”
“But you don’t want to be with me?”
“No,” she said. “I’m not…looking for a relationship.”
“But one day you will,” he said. “And would I be the man you wanted?”
“I don’t know…” She pulled her hair over one shoulder, unsure what else to do.
Fernan wrapped his arm around her and held her close. “You aren’t hurting me. I can be patient.”
“I don’t want you to be patient,” she said immediately. “Nothing more will ever happen.”
“I’m okay with that too.”
“Are you sure?” She pressed her face close to his. “Because I care about you and I don’t want to ever cause you pain.”
“You won’t,” he said. “This relationship is ideal for me—exactly what I want. And I’m very happy.”
She took a deep breath and released it. “Okay.”
“Please go back to bed with me.” He kissed her forehead.
“No, I want to be alone right now.”
He stepped back. “But we’re okay?”
She nodded.
“So, you’ll come over tomorrow night?”
“Sure,” she said. “I’m just flustered…”
“Okay.” He sighed then stepped out of her way.
“Goodnight, Fernan.”
“Goodnight, darling.” He grabbed her face and kissed her gently. “Can you text me when you get home?”
“Okay.”
‘Thank you.” He waited for her to leave.
She stepped through the entryway then looked at him. “Let me know if…this arrangement no longer works for you.”
He nodded. “I will.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Guess what?” Alexandra said excitedly.
Abby placed the groceries on the counter then switched the phone to a different ear. “Huh?”
“Blaise got tickets to see Coldplay.”
“Are you serious?” She dropped the carton of orange juice on the floor.
“What was that?” Alexandra asked.
Abby picked it up quickly. “Nothing. Does he know how much we love Coldplay?”
“I think that’s why he got them,” she said with a smile in her voice.
“You’re such a bitch and I hate you.” She put the groceries away while she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder.
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re going to see Coldplay and I’m not.” Abby rolled her eyes. “You’re so slow sometimes.”
“Actually…”
“What?” Abby said quickly.
“Blaise got four tickets.”
“You better take me,” she said immediately.
“We were hoping we could have a double date.”
“A double date?” she asked. “Who would I take?”
“Haven’t you been dating Fernan for a month?”
Abby sat on the couch then rested her feet on the coffee table. “We’re just sleeping together. It’s nothing serious.”
“Just sleeping together?” Alexandra asked incredulously. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“Well, now it is.”
“Be careful, Abby…”
“We use condoms.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Alexandra said. “It’s really just a physical relationship?”
“Purely.”
“I thought you liked him?”
“I do,” Abby said. “He’s great. Charming, handsome, polite, amazing in bed…”
“Educated, successful, sweet, makes you happy,” Alexandra said. “So why don’t be something with him?”
“I’m done talking about this.”
“Is he the one that won’t commit?” Alexandra asked. “Is he a jerk?”
“No,” Abby said immediately. “It’s mutual.”
“Be careful…”
Abby rolled her eyes. “So, it wouldn’t be a double date.”
“Well, who are you going to take, then? Christy or Jessie?”
“No,” Abby said. “I don’t think they even know who Coldplay is.”
“How can someone not know who Coldplay is?” she asked incredulously.
“They don’t care for rock music.”
“Does Fernan?”
Abby thought for a moment. “They seem like someone he would enjoy.”
“Then ask him,” Alexandra said. “I’d like to get to know him better.”
“I’ll think about it…”
“Well, do you know anyone else?”
Abby knew Paul loved Coldplay. But that was out of the question. “No.”
“Then Fernan is the winner.”
“When is the concert?”
“This
weekend.”
“What?” Abby wasn’t sure if she heard her right. “That’s really short notice.”
“Blaise bought them on Stubhub. And they were a fortune.”
“Are they good seats?” Abby asked.
“Third row.”
“That’s fucking awesome!”
“I love my fiancé,” Alexandra said.
“I do too,” Abby said. “Let me know how much I owe you.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Alexandra said. “Blaise got them as a gift.”
“So he’s trying to kiss my ass?”
“He doesn’t need to kiss your ass,” Alexandra said immediately. “I’m marrying him no matter what.”
“I’m glad my opinion matters,” she said sarcastically.
“I want you to be serious with Fernan but you automatically dismiss my suggestion.”
“You were the one who told me to date him to begin with—which I did,” Abby reminded her.
“To be in a relationship,” she snapped. “Not for a booty call.”
“I like it this way. No pain, no fear—nothing.”
“Nothing—exactly.”
The silence stretched over the phone.
“I gotta go,” Abby lied.
“Think about what I said, Abigail.”
Alexandra only used her name when she was being serious. The tone and sound conveyed everything she meant.
“Bye.” Abby hung up. She tossed the phone on the seat next to her. When she thought about the argument she had with Fernan the night before, she remembered the sadness in his eyes. It was momentary, but she caught it. She wondered if he was lying about everything, and the meaningless relationship did hurt him. But he said it didn’t. Why would he lie? And she wasn’t sure how she felt. Fernan was wonderful, a better guy she’d never find. But she was too scared. After everything she’d been through, she wasn’t ready to experience that pain again.
Her phone rang. It vibrated on the cushion and stole her attention. When she looked at the screen, she saw Toby’s name. She answered it. “Hey.”
“Where are you?”
“Excuse me?”
“We were supposed to meet at the park.” His annoyance was clear in his voice. “Or did you forget?”
She looked at the time. “I’m sorry. I was out of groceries.”
“I don’t care what your excuse is. Get over here.” He hung up.
She rolled her eyes and changed. Toby always had a harsh way of talking. When he wasn’t being rude, he was just being an asshole. Their friendship was odd and misplaced, but she did make a deal.
She put on a pink sports top with black legging.s She wore a hoodie because it was would start to cool off in an hour. After she jogged to the park, she saw him stretching near the park bench.
“Sorry I’m late.” She slowed down then caught her breath.
“Then don’t be late.”
“Don’t lawyers have to be charismatic?”
“No.”
“Then the jury must hate you.”
“I present the facts,” he snapped. “I don’t give a shit about being liked.”
She sighed then stretched. “I don’t know why Paul keeps saying you are alike. I don’t see any similarities.”
He ignored her comment. “We’ll run ten miles.”
“What?” she asked incredulously. “Ten miles? Right now?”
“You think I’m joking?”
“But the Tough Mudder isn’t even that long,” she argued.
“How would you know? Have you done it?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “I don’t think I’ve disliked someone more than I dislike you.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
“Is it really?” she asked.
“Are we going to run or just argue all night?”
“You tell me,” she snapped.
He jogged forward. “Let’s go.”
She sighed then joined him. They kept the same pace for a quarter of a mile. Abby was in shape but she didn’t think she could run ten miles without stopping. She breathed through her nose then out her mouth. Sweat started to drip down her forehead.
“Getting tired?” he asked.
“No.” Her calves started to burn.
“Good. Because there’s no walking.”
“Have you ever considered being a military instructor rather than a lawyer? You’d be perfect for it.”
He chuckled. “No. That was a first.”
“Well, consider it. Seriously.”
He laughed. “I like you.”
She stopped running. “Wow…talk about a mood swing.”
He grabbed her arm. “Keep going.”
Abby jerked her arm away. “Don’t touch me.”
He raised his hands in the air, feigning innocence. “Sorry. I thought beating the shit out of that guy would be enough proof to convince you that I’m not a serial killer, a rapist, or a psychopath.”
“Prove it by not touching me.”
“I’m liking you a little less…”
“Then I’ll keep it up.”
They jogged for several miles. When Abby felt the pain in her feet and the burn in her calves, she held her tongue and pushed through it. They’d been training with cardio and weights, but none of their workouts were as intense as this. They circled the park twice, and the sun disappeared from the skyline.
Abby wanted to stop but she didn’t voice her desire. She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. For some reason, she felt like she had something to prove to him, even though she didn’t know what that was.
When they reached the last few yards, she was panting.
“Sprint!”
“What?”
He put his hand on her lower back. “Come on.”
She wiped the sweat from her forehead. “I fucking hate you.”
“Shut up and run.”
Abby sprinted, trailing behind him but still pushing it to her limit. When they reached the park bench, they stopped. Abby limped then bent at the waist, catching her breast.
“Keep walking,” Toby said. “It’s not good to stand in place.”
“Seriously, be an instructor. Law isn’t right for you.”
“Move,” he commanded.
She put her hands on her hips and walked in a circle.
“Good girl.”
Hatred darted out of her eyes. “Don’t ever say that to me again.”
He stepped back. “Sorry.”
“Wow. You actually listened?”
“I know when I cross a line.”
“Well, you’ve done it many times,” Abby said.
“Actually, I haven’t. I can read you better than you think.”
“Like when you made me cry?”
His voice darkened. The guilt was evident on his face. “I’ll always feel bad about that.”
She moved to the bench and dropped in the seat.
He grabbed his water bottle and handed it to her.
She eyed it then grabbed it. She downed half of it before she returned it.
“When are we going to the museum?”
“Let’s start off slow first,” she said. “We’ll go to a market and see some local work.”
“Whatever.” He sat beside her and leaned back.
“When do you want to go?”
“When I get off work.”
“Okay,” she said.
“I’m hungry,” he said. “How about you?”
“I’m always hungry.”
“My kind of girl.” He winked at her.
“If you like being poor,” she joked.
“I think my wallet could handle you.”
“Lawyers make good money—but not that good.”
He chuckled. “If that were true, you’d be obese.”
“Who says I’m not?”
Toby eyed her. “Even though you’re wearing a baggy sweater, I can tell you have a smokin’ body.”
She was surprised by the comment. Abby looked
away then tightened her shoelaces.
Toby pulled off his shirt then wiped his forehead.
Against her will, she glanced at him. His chest was perfectly carved, hard from solid stone. His wide chest narrowed down to his waist. Muscle covered his ribs and stomach. A small trail of hair led down to the front of his shorts. She suspected he had a nice body, but she wasn’t expecting his perfection. He looked like a piece of artwork, a sculpture.
“You’re eye-fucking me.”
Abby was pulled back to reality. “What?”
He laughed. “You weren’t even listening to me.”
She tightened her shoelaces again.
“I can show you more…”
“Don’t be disgusting,” she said.
“Disgusting? Sexual desire is normal. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
She rose from the bench. “I should get home.”
“I’ll walk you.” He stood up.
“I can manage,” she said immediately.
He walked next to her. “Do you hate me?”
“What?” She stopped walking. “No.”
“Then do me a favor.”
“What favor?” she asked.
“Let me walk you home.”
“How is that a favor?”
“It gives me peace of mind,” he said seriously. He pulled his shirt back on. “Please. I know this is Central Park, but nowhere is safe after the sun goes down. I won’t come inside and I already know where you live.”
She was conflicted for a moment. “Why do you care?”
“You’re dumber than you look.”
Her eyes widened. “Just when I was starting to like you.”
“I like you, Abby—a lot. I wouldn’t have strangled that guy if I didn’t. And I wouldn’t be working this hard to get to know you. Believe me, I could walk into a bar and pick up a girl in fifteen minutes. And I’ve definitely invested more than fifteen minutes on you.”
She looked down at her hands, surprised by the honest declaration.
“Look at me.”
Abby immediately met his gaze.
“I’ve earned the right to walk you home.”
“You earned it?”
He nodded. “Now do ask I ask.”
“If it’s that important to you…”
“It is.” He walked beside her, his arms swinging by his sides.
She put her hands in the pockets of her sweater and strolled beside him. She was suddenly aware of how she looked. She constantly touched her hair then fidgeted with her hands. Toby didn’t say a word.
