“Bella is just the perfect name. I’m glad you decided to use it. It suits her just fine.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I love it as well. She looks just like a Bella.”
The door to my suite opened and a nurse walked in with a package. Both Matt and I turned to watch as she came toward us. It was one of those “It’s A Girl” baskets filled with all kinds of goodies. It was beautiful and it was tied perfectly with a pink balloon. I smiled as the nurse set it down on the table.
“It looks like another package arrived for little Bella. I will just leave it here.”
“Oh, Bella is getting spoiled rotten to be sure.”
The nurse smiled. “She’s one lucky little girl.” She turned and left the room, leaving us alone once again. I looked at the basket from afar, unable to move with the baby in my arms. I watched as Matt went over to look at the basket. I was excited to see what was inside. It looked rather elaborate.
“Who is it from?”
“Not sure.” He looked around for a card to see who had sent the grand package. It was obvious that a lot of money had been spent on the basket, and I wondered who would go to that kind of trouble. It had to have been someone who hadn’t attended the shower, and I didn’t know who that would be.
“There isn’t a card?”
“No. Oh, wait. There’s a note. There isn’t a name on it anywhere though. Who would send such a package and not say who it’s from? That’s a little weird, isn’t it?” His brow furrowed, and I tried to think of who would send the package.
“Yeah, it is a little weird. I wasn’t expecting anything today. I’ve been getting some flowers, but that’s about it. I can’t imagine who would send that package.”
Matt was looking inside the package, and I found it weird that he hadn’t brought the basket to me to look at yet. He was just rummaging through it as if looking for something. His behavior was just as bizarre as the mystery package.
“The things inside this basket are very expensive. Very expensive. I don’t understand why such an expensive gift would come with no card? How are we supposed to thank this person?”
“Can I see the basket, Matt? I would like to see what’s inside as well.”
He ignored me as he continued looking inside the basket. I was becoming annoyed as I watched him. He wasn’t even paying attention to the beautiful things inside; he was just sorting through it as if looking for a clue. I couldn’t imagine what had come over him, but he was irritating me. I wanted to look at the package myself and see what there was for Bella. From afar the items looked quite chic, and I knew there was an outfit or two in there.
He suddenly turned toward me, and his gaze narrowed. Confused, I just stared back at him trying to understand why he suddenly looked angry. I had never seen someone so worked up over a baby basket. Maybe the stress of work was starting to get to him. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I wasn’t in the mood for weird behavior. I just wanted to look at the basket.
“The basket is from him, isn’t it?”
My brow furrowed. “Who are you referring to?”
“Don’t act dumb, Katie. You know exactly who I’m talking about.”
“Excuse me? Actually, I have no idea why you’ve decided to suddenly have a temper tantrum. What has you so upset?”
He just stared at me, and I grew angry. I looked down at Bella and decided to let the anger go. He was itching for a fight, and I had no idea why. I wasn’t going to fall for it though and fight in front of Bella. The little thing was sleeping, and I wasn’t going to do anything to change that.
“Can I please see the basket? It looks beautiful and I want to see what’s inside.”
“Are you actually going to lay there and pretend that you have no idea who sent the package?”
My mouth dropped open. I could not believe what I was hearing. He looked pissed at me, and I couldn’t imagine why. How would I know who sent the package? I’d learned of its existence at the exact same time he had. He was behaving irrationally, and I didn’t like the look of it. It reminded me of the old days when we used to fight. I had thought we were over that, but maybe it had all been an act.
“What is the matter with you?” Tears collected in my eyes, and I didn’t know what was going on.
“This is from Ben, isn’t it? I should have known as soon as I saw it.”
I laughed, not knowing what else I could do at that point. “You must be kidding me? How the hell would I know who sent it, Matt? I’m as puzzled as you are. As far as Ben goes, I haven’t spoken to the man since before the wedding. If he sent the basket, I’m certainly unaware of it.”
He snorted. “If I didn’t know better, I might have to start wondering if Bella is even my child.”
I gasped. I sat there speechless as shock coursed through me. I stared at Matt as tears streamed down my cheeks. I felt humiliated and betrayed. How could my own husband say something so foul to me? I was appalled by his words. I could barely find the words to tell him off. “You have no right to talk to me in that manner. Seriously, Matt, what the hell is wrong with you?”
He shook his head slowly and threw his hands up in the air. He stormed from the room without looking back at me.
“Matt,” I called out after him.
There was no answer, and he didn’t return to the room. I sat there shocked, unable to process what had happened in the past few minutes. His words had been monstrous, and all over a mystery basket. I had no idea if the basket came from Ben, but even if it did, it didn’t warrant the kind of reaction I got from Matt. Shock made a home inside of me as I tried to process his words. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to suggest that Bella was not his child. To suggest that it was Ben’s was a little more than I could take. He deserved to have his eyes clawed out for that behavior, but instead, he had marched out without even talking things through with me. Who was the man I had married?
It seemed like we were back at square one. As soon as Ben was mentioned, Matt seemed to lose all sense of himself. I hadn’t seen Ben in over a year, and yet we were still fighting about him. Matt was a completely different person when it came to Ben, and I didn’t like that person at all. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do about the situation, but Matt’s words were unforgivable.
I looked down at Bella, feeling suddenly very sad and lonely. The poor thing had no idea about adult concerns. What an innocent world she lived in, for the time being at least. I rocked little Bella and wondered how I had gotten myself into the mess that I was in. I thought my marriage was okay, but apparently, there was something really wrong with it. What had happened to our lovely life? I knew that I couldn’t go back to fighting like that with Matt. I slid off the bed carefully and brought Bella to the bassinet and laid her down gently. She could sleep comfortably while I took a look at that package. I was still very much curious as to what was inside of it.
I started to pick through the package, marveling at the beautiful things inside. There was a literal silver spoon and some beautiful designer dresses. I smiled as I looked through the basket wondering at the elaborateness of it all. There was a tiny pair of diamond stud earrings in there for a baby. I had planned on getting the little one’s ears pierced in a few months, but what a gift. Who would go to all this trouble? Could it really have been Ben that sent it? After all this time, would he do such a thing? Whoever sent it certainly had a lot of money to burn. I was smiling from ear to ear when I heard a familiar voice behind her.
“I’m glad you like the basket.”
I froze and then spun around to find Ben behind me. Just like the first time I met him, my heart slammed against my chest in the most wondrous way. It had been him all along. He had sent the package, had thought about me—after all this time he was still thinking about me. I remembered the last time that I saw him in my apartment, and I realized that after all this time I still loved him. That thought made me sad because I had tried so hard to be a part of another life, and that life was now spiraling out of control. I didn’t understand
Matt’s reaction toward me all the time when I was honestly trying to have a happy life with him. But maybe he sensed that all along my heart had never truly been his completely. There had always been a piece of it somewhere else.
“What are you doing here, Ben? This is a bad idea. If Matt saw you here, I would be filling out divorce papers for sure.” Tears built up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.
A shocked look came over his face, and he was by my side in a second. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight.
“What’s wrong, Katie? I didn’t come here to cause you any problems. I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention, and I had no idea that it would have that kind of effect on you. This is a happy day. You have a new daughter—you shouldn’t be crying.”
“It’s Matt. He saw the package that you sent and he went insane. He despises you, and he knows about our past. He stormed out of here, but he could be back any minute. If he saw you here, it would be bad on an epic scale. You have no idea.”
Ben’s eyes grew stormy. “What are you talking about? Why would your husband behave like that? I thought you said he was a kind man—he certainly doesn’t sound like it to me.”
Suddenly I started sobbing. My feelings about Matt just poured out of me. I felt helpless and confused by the way that Matt treated me when it came to Ben.
“Dear god. I had no idea, Katie. I should have sent the package with a name, but I thought it was best not to. I fully intended on speaking to Matt if he were here and congratulating him. I feel no ill will for the man, until now of course. I don’t understand why he’s acting so outrageously. He won, I lost. I haven’t tried to contact you until now, and that was a mistake. I’m sorry. I didn’t send it to cause problems. I just wanted to congratulate you on the baby.”
I looked up at him and felt my heart beat hard all over again. He had that power over me even after all this time. I didn’t know what to do about that feeling. “He will hate me if he knows you are here.”
“He won’t know. I wasn’t sure how Matt would react if I came up, so I had someone watch the building. I will know he’s coming before he even steps foot in the hospital. You have nothing to worry about. Please, you need to stop crying.”
“What are you doing here, Ben? You could have called or sent a message. You didn’t need to come to the hospital.”
“I just wanted to see you and your new daughter. Is that so terrible?”
“How did you know that I had a girl?”
“I have my hand in a lot of things, Katie. I like to know things. I just needed to know that you were happy and well taken care of. It’s important to me.”
“Well, it hasn’t been easy. We’ve had some problems.” Why did I always feel the need to bare my soul to Ben? He didn’t need to know any more about my marital problems than I’d already told him, but my mouth just wouldn’t listen to my brain.
“Newlyweds shouldn’t have any problems. Not big ones anyway. He shouldn’t be leaving you alone at the hospital.”
“You don’t understand. He is obsessed with our past, and he thinks I still have feelings for you. He can’t get over it.”
“He doesn’t deserve you.”
“And you do?”
He shrugged, and I suddenly felt bad. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to be difficult about this. Matt is a good guy. Our relationship has had its bumps because he’s jealous of you. I don’t know why he’s obsessed with you.”
Ben walked to the bassinet and took a look inside. He grinned as he looked down at Bella. “She’s a beauty, Katie. No big surprise there.”
I was shocked to see him bend down and scoop Bella up into his arms. I thought he might feel weird about holding another man’s child, but he seemed very comfortable with Bella in his arms.
“What’s her name?”
“Bella.”
He chuckled. “What a tiny little thing. It’s amazing.”
They looked so cute together that it brought fresh tears to my eyes. I gulped down a lump in my throat and said something that I knew I shouldn’t say. “I picked the wrong guy, didn’t I? I made the wrong choice. I loved him, but I shouldn’t have married him.”
Ben looked up at me with surprise on his face. He pursed his lips and then looked back down at Bella. He gently set her down in the bassinet and slowly walked over to me.
“This is not your fault, Katie. If anything, it’s mine. I waited too long before I told you how I felt, and that was wrong. How could I possibly be mad when you finally chose someone else? I fucked up, not you.”
He wrapped his arms around me once again and hugged me tightly. I sobbed into his chest, feeling hopeless about everything.
“It was not my intention to upset you today. I’m sorry. I just needed to see you.”
Ben’s phone rang and he looked at the message, then clicked it off suddenly. He pulled away from me. “Enjoy your baby, Katie. She is the best reason in the world to be happy.” He bent down and kissed me on the lips, and I felt complete again, like he had never left. He turned from me then and left the room so quickly that it was hard to believe he was ever there in the first place. I glanced at the basket and took a deep sigh. I returned to my bed, wiping away at my tears, trying to find my composure.
A few minutes later, Matt walked through the suite door, surprising me. He had flowers in his hand and a sheepish look on his face. I almost laughed at the sight of him. So, that was why Ben had left so quickly. The ringing phone had been a notification that Matt had arrived back at the hospital. I was thankful he left in time because I couldn’t even imagine what Matt would have done had he found Ben in my room. He would have assumed that I had been seeing him all along.
“Katie, I am sorry for the way I reacted.”
I put my hands up to block him from touching me. “Oh, please, don’t you dare. You don’t get to speak to me the way you did and then come back here with flowers like everything’s going to be okay.”
He stood there and stared at me in shock. He had never heard me speak to him that way. I didn’t care. I would not be spoken to in that way by someone who was supposed to cherish me.
“If you can’t get a handle on that jealousy, I will leave you.”
I closed my eyes, and that ended the conversation. I needed to get some rest before Bella awoke again.
19
Chapter Nineteen
Katie
Six months went by, and I was once again getting ready for another AIDS benefit. It was my first real event since I had Bella, and I was really looking forward to it. I loved getting dressed up and going out. I had been in baby mode for months, and it was about time I got back out there and made an impression on my life. Benefits were important to me, and I wanted to be a part of that life once again. I had lost the baby weight, and I bought a beautiful lace gown that I was dying to wear. I knew I would look smoking hot in it, and I was excited to get ready for the event. It was all I could think about, in fact.
Matt had actually purchased the dress for me, and it was a nice gesture. It had been a long time since we had been out together. We had been immersed in Bella, which was also a good thing, but now it was time for me to get back out in the world. Matt had also been working a lot, so it was hard to get out and have a date. He often came home late at night and went straight to bed. He was a busy guy, and that was sometimes hard for us as well, but I tried to be understanding because I knew he was trying to provide a good life for us.
After what had happened at the hospital some six months ago, things seemed to be okay between us again. Things were just like I wanted them to be. But I was never sure if his bad side was going to creep up again. I thought it was behind us; that was, until we had gone out one night for a few drinks. Once Matt had a few in him, he had gone on about Ben again. It was actually becoming quite exhausting for me. It made me feel like giving up and washing my hands of the whole thing. I wanted to keep my family together for Bella’s sake and because I still loved Matt, but I didn’t want to have the same ar
gument for the rest of my life.
After that last fight, I saw less and less of Matt. In fact, for the past few months, I had only seen him a few days a week. The rest of the time, he came home so late I was already sleeping. When he was home, he often went to his office. It had gotten to the point where I would bring Bella to his office so the child had some time with her father. Whatever was going on between us, Matt seemed to forget that there was another person involved, someone that needed him too. Bella was more important than his work; it wasn’t like we were strapped for cash or anything.
I looked up as Matt came into our bedroom and looked me over as I stood there adorned in my new gown. He looked as handsome as ever in a tuxedo, ready for the event as well. I often forgot how handsome he was, as I rarely saw him these days. I had fallen in love with him not so long ago, and I worried that it was all falling apart. I didn’t want that, but I felt that it was now out of my control.
He walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. “You look absolutely stunning, Katie. What a dress. I knew it would look amazing on you.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
He hugged me tight. “I’m really looking forward to having you on my arm tonight, my dear. Especially since you look so beautiful. It’s certainly been a while for us.”
I smiled sadly, understanding more than he did.
“I hope you understand that I’m just trying to provide us with the best possible life.”
I shook my head. “We already have a good life. You’re doing something else. Your family needs you, your daughter needs you, and that’s more important. You’re the owner—you should be able to let someone else run it and be here with us.”
He nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
* * *
The AIDS benefit was being held at one of the most elite hotels in the city. The dining room alone was to die for. I had been there to dine on more than one occasion, and the food was exquisite. I smiled as soon as I walked into the hotel, feeling good about being out again. I was very blessed to have the life I did and grateful that I could be a part of benefits such as this. It was quite the lifestyle. Tickets to the AIDS benefit ran a thousand dollars each, but it was all for charity, so I didn’t mind the cost. I knew I would never have the time to go back to a place like Africa and invest lengthy time there to work with my hands, so events such as this one were the next best thing.
The Promise of Love Page 15
