by Zoe Chant
She was all soft and warm and so perfect that he wanted to never let go.
Darrell laughed softly, even as he drew his fingers through her hair, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. “You’re my mate. He knows that I’d gladly give my life for you, without a moment’s hesitation.”
“Your... what?” Carrie frowned at him. “Is that shifter for... girlfriend?”
The look she gave him was half teasing, half hopeful. Darrell felt another jolt of electricity surge through him.
He could feel it, the bond between them. What would it be like to spend the rest of his life so intimately connected to his beautiful, resourceful mate? The things he could teach her about shifter life... and the things she could teach him in return!
“More than that,” he said, his smile widening with pure joy. “Fated mates. I knew it right when I saw you for the first time. We were meant to be. I was drawn towards you. It’s like that for all shifters. We always know when we meet the one. There’s one person for us out there—our soulmate. Can you feel it? This bond between us? It’s meant to be.”
Even speaking the words set off new fireworks in his belly. For years, he’d listened with amusement when his friends found their mates. He’d been happy for them, but listening to their tales had always left him entertained. There was nothing more hilarious, after all, than hearing a taciturn, grumbly alpha suddenly start to wax poetic.
And now he’d probably annoy all of his friends as well by continuously talking about how he’d met Carrie, and how gorgeous and perfect she was.
He grinned. He really couldn’t wait to be teased by his clan. His time to settle down had at last arrived, and all of a sudden the thought of a home of his own filled with laughter and the sound of rambunctious cubs—or kittens—was all he wanted.
“Wait,” Carrie said slowly. That hopeful look in her eyes had vanished. Instead, there was a deep crease between her brows as she frowned at him. “You’re not joking right now?”
“I wasn’t joking about the werewolf, and I’m not joking now, either. I wouldn’t, not about this.” Slowly, Darrell reached out to take hold of her hand. Heat sizzled through him once more. And by the way Carrie gasped, her eyes widening, he knew that she could feel it too.
“There, can you feel it?” he asked hopefully. “Mates. That’s what it feels like to find your mate.”
Carrie stared at him from wide eyes. She didn’t speak. Darrell couldn't make out what she felt—nothing was coming through the new, fragile bond between them. It was as if shock had made her close a door in his face.
“Fated to be?” she asked. For some reason she sounded troubled. “I... Sorry, but that is a lot to take in all at once.”
Carrie pushed a hand into her hair in agitation. Then she took a resolute step backwards, her hand slipping from his. “Okay. I need some time to think. I’m sorry, Darrell, but there’s been so much happening today, and now you’re telling me that I’m not really in love with you, but that it’s—it’s some shifter thing?”
She’s in love with me, Darrell’s bear picked out, joy exploding inside him at the same time as her other words hit him like a punch to the gut.
“It’s both,” he said, suddenly afraid that he’d messed it all up when it had gone so well before. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have just sprung all these things on you. If you let me explain—”
Carrie held up her hand. “I need a few hours to myself first. I’m just—sorry, Darrell. Just a short time ago I was a cat. A cat! And now there are bear shifters, and werewolves, and I—I can’t think straight when I’m around you, and that frightens me. I just need a break to be by myself and come to terms with all of this.”
“Oh,” Darrell said, swallowing against his sudden terror and disappointment.
Of course she’s right. It was too much, and all at once. I should have waited, or made the sheriff talk to her. He wouldn’t have overwhelmed her with the sensation of the mate bond...
“Let’s meet again tomorrow,” Carrie said. She looked tired now, her brow still creased and her shoulders tense. “I promise, tomorrow we’ll talk.”
Darrell nodded, swallowing painfully against his disappointment. “That’s fair. You deserve some space. Those are a lot of changes for you. But there’s still the matter of the werewolf. Promise me you won’t go anywhere on your own? If it’s all right with you, I’ll send Glory to keep watch around the house. You met her at the summer camp, remember?”
Carrie nodded, and then, at least, gave him a faint smile. “Thanks,” she murmured. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sorry.”
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Darrell said gently.
Even so, his bear growled with sad disappointment when he turned away from his mate, pulling out his phone to call Glory.
Chapter Nine: Carrie
Glory had left Carrie alone to mope in her room for two hours before she knocked on the door.
“Sun’s shining,” the shifter announced brightly. “Let me take you out for coffee. Sheriff would hate it if you got the wrong impression of this town. ‘S bad for tourism, or so I hear.”
Carrie couldn’t help but laugh despite herself. “And you’re the resident tourist expert?”
“Nah.” Glory gave her a lazy wink. “I make sure to stay away from them. Don’t want to scare them.”
Carrie straightened a little, tugging on her skirt as she gave herself a critical look in the mirror. It would do for coffee, she supposed. And it wasn’t as if she’d been in here crying.
“What about me? I’m a tourist,” she said.
“You? Oh, darling, you’re not a tourist. You’re a shifter. That makes you practically family. At least when compared to our usual crop of human tourists.” Glory grimaced. “I nearly ran into a family who got lost. My bear was distracted by the scent of wild honey nearby. There’s only so many legends about tame bears in the forest that a small town can believably have... And for all that these tourists can’t figure out where they’re going without their Google Maps, they are astonishingly good at going straight to where a bear wants to have a nice little run.”
Carrie giggled a little, thinking of her shock when Darrell had first turned into a bear. “I guess that’s the good thing about turning into a cat instead.”
“No one’s going to blink an eye to see you, dear,” Glory said with approval. “Has to be so useful! You can go for a run right here in the garden, and the most you’ve got to fear is that a tourist family will feed you treats.”
“I suppose...” Carrie said slowly. She hadn’t had time to think about it much, but at first, a cat had seemed so much less glamorous than a bear or wolf.
But on the other hand, if she’d been a bear shifter, she wouldn’t have been able to shift anywhere near her home without first driving for hours...
“Can I ask you something?” Carrie said then.
They’d made it to the little bakery owned by the sheriff’s wife. It was too early for the afternoon crowd, and they’d found a nice, secluded spot on the small, deserted patio at the back of the building. With a coffee and a cupcake before her, the world suddenly looked so much brighter.
“Bear cupcakes,” Glory said and nodded at the table. “Made with honey from the forest. The sheriff’s mate is human, you know. So if you need someone who had to figure out all of this stuff as well, I know she’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.”
Carrie made a thoughtful sound. “Actually, I think I’d like to ask you,” she said. “Because you’re a shifter too. Like me.”
It still felt weird to say it—but it was impossible to forget the sheer joy and the feeling of lightness that had spread through her when she had shifted. It really had been like coming home. Like finding a part of her that had been missing for way too long.
“The shifting... I’m not worried about that. At first I was terrified, because it felt like a nightmare after the accident. I think with the shock, my cat just took over, and most of the time I didn’t even know what wa
s going on. But now—now I’m talking to my cat.”
Saying it out loud still made her feel like a weirdo, but all Glory did was give her an understanding nod.
Carrie took a deep breath. “From the moment I first shifted intentionally, it just felt right. It was completely natural. Like I was always meant to be this. I’m not scared by my cat. I’m just sorry that she was alone for so long, buried deep inside me.”
“But you are scared of something,” Glory said. “What is it? Did Darrell do something stupid? I like the guy—don’t tell him I said that, by the way—but he can be a dumb, lumbering brute of a bear like all the rest of them. Never stops to think. Well, to be fair, it's not like we were encouraged to when we were young.”
“You knew him when he was young?” Carrie was intrigued, her worries momentarily forgotten.
“Ha. Did I ever!” Glory leaned back with a smirk, licking a smudge of frosting from her lip. “We grew up together. Cubs of the same age. Both of us fighters. Both of us fierce, unwilling to ever back down. Got into a few fights, actually, before we realized we’d better focus our energy on other shifters if we wanted to survive and climb to the top.”
Carrie frowned. “That sounds...”
She hesitated for a moment, and Glory finished the sentence for her.
“Dangerous? Scary? Unhappy? I guess it was all of that. We didn’t know any better, you see, so we never realized it could be any different. He had a hard childhood. A hard life after that, too: lots of fighting, never a moment of peace, always distrusting the other fighters in your clan.”
Glory gestured to a scar that crossed her lower arm. “Werewolf. Always trouble with werewolf gangs. Our alpha was involved in lots of shady things. Anyway, we escaped that life. All of us. We might never have made it without Darrell, actually. He’s a good guy. A really good guy—the sort of guy who’s seen enough fighting to know that that’s not the life he wants. The sort of man who’d risk his own life to make sure his clan and his family never have to lead the life he did.”
“Oh,” Carrie breathed, looking at Glory with a new respect. “I... I didn’t know that.”
“It’s not an excuse,” Glory immediately said. “If he said something stupid to you, that’s all on him. But if he’s just being... weirdly protective, I guess, it’s because he knows what werewolf fangs can do.”
Slowly, Carrie shook her head. “No.... I thought his protectiveness was sweet. I’ve never had anyone care for me in that way. I never knew my parents, and...” She shrugged. “My foster family were good people, but it wasn’t like... It never felt like what life is like in this town.”
“Like home?” Glory said, her eyes attentive.
Silently, Carrie nodded.
“But that’s good, isn’t it?” Glory suddenly sat up straight once more. “Sorry, you said you had a question. And here I just keep talking...”
“That’s quite all right.” Carrie couldn’t help but smile at Glory.
She’d never known anyone like Glory before—the bear shifter was an intimidating woman, with the same air of command Darrell possessed, and the scars to prove that she wasn’t to be underestimated. Still, something about her set Carrie at ease.
Perhaps it was just that she genuinely seemed to care for Darrell and this town. To her, all the shifters here were family—her home.
What does it feel like to have this sort of community?
Carrie felt a sudden yearning so strong that it shocked her.
She’d always thought that she was happy with the life she’d found. She knew she was strong—it hadn’t been easy to build the life she had, and while she’d never had riches, having a job, a home and a car had seemed pretty good for an orphan girl to her.
“It's’ about... it’s about mates,” Carrie said hesitantly. “Darrell told me we were mates.”
Glory nodded, a rare smile on her face. “Never thought he’d find his mate—but I’m really happy for you two.”
“Wait,” Carrie said, her head starting to pound with a dull ache. “You too? You just accept this? That there’s a soulmate for you, and when you meet him it goes boom, and it’s all fate or biology or something?”
Now Glory frowned at her. “Is that why you’re upset? To be honest, I’m not much of a romantic myself, but you love him, right? There’s that look in your eyes when you talk about him. I know that look.”
“Ugh.” Carrie raised a hand to her head. This was all so much to take in that she’d probably end up with a migraine by evening. “You too. I don’t understand how you can just... accept these things.”
“Accept?” Glory shifted, crossing her legs. Then she pushed her cupcake towards Carrie. “Here. How about you just relax and tell me from the start what’s got you bothered. I’m sure we can unravel it together.”
“Accept,” Carrie mumbled resentfully, before she took hold of the cupcake and took a big bite out of it. Some of the frosting ended up on her nose, but she didn’t care. Right now she needed all the sugar she could get to work through this.
“So. I met Darrell and I felt drawn to him right away. Touching him is like—touching a bolt of lightning. Just sizzling electricity all over my skin.”
Glory made an encouraging sound.
“I thought it was because he’s gorgeous and—well, you’ve seen him. Fucking hot.” Carrie blushed a little, but it was true. Even now the thought of those hard pecs and his six pack and the arms strong enough to carry her made her mouth go dry.
“And he’s kind and generous and just—so much fun to be around. I’ve never really had a family, but if I’m with him, it’s like—being home. Being loved and accepted for who I am. And I thought it was just that: love. I’m in love, and it was perfect. But now you tell me that it’s a shifter thing. And I feel like I’ve run straight into a wall, because nothing I’m feeling is real. It’s—some drive of nature. Like a cat in heat, I guess. Or you can call it fate if you want. But in the end what matters is that none of it is my choice. And it never was!”
Carrie put her half-eaten cupcake back down, suddenly feeling sick as she stared at the frosting.
How could anyone make sense of all those emotions twisting and turning inside her now? It was like being torn in two.
A part of her wanted Darrell more than she’d ever wanted anything. And another part of her was terrified by how helpless she felt.
For as long as she could think, she had to stand up for herself. She’d fought her way through college, and she’d worked hard for the life she’d found. She was strong. She’d always been strong, because she had to be.
But now nature had come to play a trick on her, and all of a sudden she no longer seemed to have a choice in who she loved.
“Is that what you think?” Glory asked, quiet and intense. She leaned forward. “I had a mate once. He died. And I loved him. Never doubt that.”
Carrie froze, then instinctively reached out for Glory’s hand. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay—it was a long time ago.” Glory gave her a serious look. “The love was real. Even now, with him gone, it’s still there. It’s all real.”
“But how can you know?” Carrie asked desperately. “This scares me. I don’t want to be helpless.”
“You’re not.” Glory tightened her fingers around Carrie’s hand. “I know it feels overwhelming—but you’re not helpless. You can walk away from him if you want. Some shifters do it, because their mate isn’t a good person. It happens sometimes. Others love someone who’s not their mate, and they still have a happy life together. But if you find your mate, and you love him, too, that’s not just nature forcing you to. See it as fate giving you a nudge. It’s still your choice to say yes or no to it.”
“He didn’t even tell me,” Carrie muttered morosely. “I thought it was all just—you know, love at first sight, and he’s so hot. I was afraid it might not last, but I wanted to try. And apparently he’s known from the first moment he saw me that he wanted to spend his entire li
fe with me? That’s a lot. That’s...”
“Scary, I imagine,” Glory said, letting go of Carrie’s hand. “At first, we didn’t realize that you didn’t know you were a shifter. And then, he thought you’d lost your memory because of the shock. Though I admit this would have gone better if he’d sat you down right at the start and told you all about shifters and yourself.”
Carrie took a deep breath. Her head still hurt, but she no longer felt like she wanted to cry in frustration.
“So... I can say no?” she asked doubtfully. “I mean... I think I could. I know I could stand up right now and walk away, and never return. I just... don’t want to.”
“And you think that’s not your own choice?” Glory asked. “Come on, Carrie. You know yourself better than I know you. Trust yourself. Look inside yourself, and then tell me whether it’s you who wants to give him a chance, or if it’s just the drive of nature.”
Carrie pushed her plate back and then settled into her chair, closing her eyes.
He’s our mate, her cat said reproachfully, her voice no longer quite as soft as it had been before. And you’re being quite human about all of this.
That’s because I am human, Carrie replied. Now let me think in peace. On my own.
Her cat made an affronted little hiss, but then remained silent, only the image of a fluffy tail twitching in annoyance remaining in Carrie’s mind.
She loved Darrell. It was a bit scary to admit it even to herself, but it was true. He’d done a lot of things for her: he’d rescued her in the forest, and he’d proved a faithful bodyguard keeping watch over her.
But the thing that even now filled her heart with warmth was the hours they’d spent in the forest. She remembered how she’d closed her eyes, feeling nothing but Darrell’s warmth against her back. She hadn’t even really known what she was doing—but he’d talked her through all of it.
She’d trusted him. And she’d been rewarded for that trust by discovering her inner cat, and the overwhelming joy and freedom of finding this long-buried part of her.
Mates, she thought, still a little resentful at the thought that nature might have been forcing them together, ignoring all of her own feelings in the matter.
