by J. C. Reed
That it involved intimacy, and getting really close to someone.
That there were different kinds of sex, and judging from Chase’s words, he wanted adventure, passion, the whole shebang, with different levels and a variety of activities.
I frowned, because Chase hadn’t just offered. His agreement stated that he expected me to do the deed within a week of the wedding ceremony, which would mean that in less than one week I wasn’t just going to be his wife.
In less than a week, I’d sleep with him.
I swallowed hard.
At least Chase had specified that I had a say in the time and choice of place. And because different people had different needs and he didn’t know how often I’d want him—his exact words—we’d have to do a few runs to find out.
I turned the paper over, and as I read on, I stumbled on one paragraph.
I frowned and my eyes widened.
Holy cow.
He expected sex at least twice a week during the entire time we remained married.
What the hell!
I shook my head in disbelief.
Twice a week for one year.
A year had fifty-two weeks, which meant I would have to fuck him—how many times?
I leaned forward and buried my head in my hands.
Oh, God.
At least a hundred and four times within one year. And since—from the look of it—Chase was into experimental, he probably harbored every intention of covering the entire Kama Sutra.
Talk about demanding.
Everyone has needs, Hanson. It’s natural.
Only Chase had a whole bunch of them. As he had said, “We both need it.”
I figured by that he had meant that he had needs and it was my duty as his wife to fulfill them. I drew a long breath and let it out slowly as I pushed the paper back into the envelope, my mind spinning with unwanted pictures: Chase holding me, his lips descending upon mine, his hands roaming over my body, touching places no one had touched before him, his finger playing with my folds, rubbing my clit, before he shredded the last mystery of my bodily needs.
Heat crept up my neck, which intensified as my cell phone began to ring and I stared at the caller ID.
Speak of the devil.
Instantly, my heart started to hammer against my chest. Against my better judgment, I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t standing there, watching me—which was impossible, given that the door was locked and I would have heard someone entering.
As much as I didn’t want to talk to him now, what difference did it make? Sooner or later I’d have to talk with him about all the things I couldn’t agree to.
Chapter 15
I smoothed a hand over my clothes and sat up straight, because, even though he couldn’t see me, I figured he might be able to tell my state of mind from my voice.
“Hi,” I said, picking up on the third ring, infusing as much boredom into my voice as was possible.
“Did you read it, Laurie?” came Chase’s reply.
No beating around the bush.
His voice was deep and deliciously sexy. Something stirred in me at the way my name rolled on his tongue, sending a light tremble through my core, and making my breathing harder. Was that his usual telephone voice? Or just the one he put on when he talked to women?
“Yes.” I grimaced at how hoarse my voice sounded.
“And?”
What did he expect me to say? I hesitated. If I accepted his demands so quickly, he’d always think I was a pushover. But could I really go through a round of negotiation without dying of sheer mortification? Could I really talk matter-of-factly about all the things I had no experience of and was not comfortable talking about?
“You really want me to relocate to New York and live with you?” I asked, slightly out of breath.
“Yes. It’s just for a couple of weeks.”
“I don’t know, Chase. While I understand your points, your stipulations aren’t really what I signed up for when I offered you the job.” I made sure to emphasize the word job, because in the end I was the employer, and consequently I was supposed to be the one formulating the demands.
“What do you suggest?” Chase asked.
He was willing to listen. That was good. In fact, very good.
I needed cooperation. For him to come halfway or maybe bend to my rules.
Yeah, he was the one who had to do the bending.
Will against will.
I could win that one.
I bit my lip as my mind began to put together my own list. I couldn’t possibly live with him while fighting this stupid attraction. I was already having troubles kicking him out of my mind.
“I’m fine with staying married and living together for a month or two, during which we sleep in separate bedrooms,” I started. “After the month is over we claim to have different work schedules, and because you’re away on jobs, it’s necessary that we stay in separate apartments.”
Silence.
I waited a few seconds.
The line was so quiet I wasn’t sure he hadn’t hung up.
“Chase?”
“That’s not going to work for me,” Chase said at last. “Come to think of it, I’m not so keen on the different bedrooms idea either.”
Oh, God. He couldn’t be serious. My heart sank in my chest.
He’s playing you, Hanson.
“Take it or leave it,” I said through gritted teeth.
“You need this more than I do, Laurie. Think about it. I could as well have asked for payment, you know, but I didn’t. So, I won’t change my requests.”
The line went dead.
What the fuck?
He had hung up on me.
Again.
My blood began to boil in my veins.
Who the heck did he think he was?
Yes, gorgeous was his middle name, and yes, his claim that I needed him carried some truth. But what the hell! I wasn’t going to let a man dictate my business proposition. Not when I was the one who should have been holding all the strings.
Breathing hard, I counted to ten, forcing myself to calm down.
I managed to let my ego control my reasoning for all of five seconds, after which I dialed his number.
“Fine,” I mumbled. “We live together.”
“In my house. For one year.”
Given that my home was a tiny rented apartment with barely enough space to accommodate Jude’s extensive wardrobe and shoe collection, Chase’s suggestion wasn’t such a bad idea.
“Okay. But I have to insist on different rooms, if we’re to live together.” I closed my eyes, mentally willing him to give in, because this one was my no-negotiation area. He was asking the impossible.
I simply couldn’t let him stay in the same room with me.
The line went silent again, but I still could hear his breathing.
“I need my privacy, Chase.”
He remained silent for a long moment, probably considering whether he could push his luck with this one. I rolled my eyes and kicked at the pillow with my foot.
“I mean it, Chase,” I whispered. “If I don’t get my privacy, then I cannot do this.” And you know I need those letters, I added mentally. If not to discover the truth, then at least to find peace and bury the past once and for all.
I bit my lip hard until I thought the thin layer of skin might tear. The other end of the line continued to remain quiet, and for a moment I feared Chase had hung up on me again.
And then he spoke.
“Why?” His voice came low, strangled.
Why?
There were so many reasons. Like the fact that I wasn’t ready to share my bed or life or anything at all with a man. Or the fact that if we slept in the same room I might not be strong enough to resist his advances or looks. I just had to remind myself of the last time we had been in his bed, and of how close I had been to giving in, to know that I couldn’t cave on this one. And then there was the fact that I had never been attracted to anyone like this b
efore, which wasn’t bad per se. But with new territories come new experiences and new challenges. Chase was such a challenge…a challenge I knew instinctively I couldn’t win. Like with all new things, the prospect of entering new and uncharted territories scared me. But how could I explain this to someone who wouldn’t understand?
“It’s just not a possibility,” I said.
“Trust me, Laurie.” Chase spoke with a casual familiarity, as though he could sense the storm wreaking havoc within me. Maybe he thought he knew me, concluding that I had been hurt in the past. Or maybe his words were nothing but empty shells, spoken to other women countless times.
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me.
Marriage? Yes, for a reason, and for that reason only. Trust? Impossible.
“I cannot do that,” I said. “And I don’t care if you understand. This is all I can say.”
“All right.” He sighed. “Different rooms, then.” Did I detect a hint of disappointment in his voice?
Your imagination’s running wild, Hanson.
I smirked. So true, and not just in this instance. I kept imagining things. Things he wanted to say but didn’t. Things I wanted to say and do but could never admit. Things that made me blush even in his absence, out of fear that he might just be able to sense my forbidden desires…and act upon them.
“Okay. One more time, just to make sure you got it. We live together, but we’ll have different rooms,” I repeated, in the hope my tone carried enough determination that he wouldn’t try to change his mind later.
“Yes.”
I heaved an exaggerated sigh, ready to move on to my next point in the agreement, but Chase’s voice pricked my bubble.
“But I still expect you to stay married for one year. One year, Laurie,” he said. “We can sleep in separate rooms, but I expect our relationship to be exclusive, and for me to teach you. I won’t accept any arguing or bargaining on this point. Deal?”
I stared at the sheets, completely overwhelmed. What relationship would that be?
“What if it doesn’t work out?” I asked.
“Why shouldn’t it?” He sounded annoyed. Suddenly I could picture him clearly in my mind, his brow furrowed and his jaw clenching.
“People get divorced all the time, you know, even when they’re in love.” And we’re not, I wanted to add, but didn’t. “They make mistakes and realize maybe the other one isn’t all they hoped for. One year can be a very long time.”
“If there’s a problem, we’ll talk about it and can renegotiate our terms. But until then, I see absolutely no reason for discussing what might never be.”
I brushed a hand through my hair nervously. “Okay. I’m in.”
There, I’d said it.
No chance to take it back.
“All right.” His voice softened. “Make sure to sign the contract.”
“All right,” I repeated.
There was a short silence before Chase spoke again, “Have you thought about the kind of wedding you want?”
He was changing the subject, avoiding the one thing I had no choice but to discuss.
“Whatever we do works for me,” I whispered. “Make an appointment with a justice of the peace and I’ll be there.”
“I have already done that. Do you have a paper and pen?”
“One sec.”
I opened my appointment book and flicked through the blank pages, my mood darkening, until I reached the page that said Tuesday. Chase confirmed the date and time with me.
I was really doing it.
It was really happening.
The thoughts of my imminent wedding made my head spin, as I realized just how soon it’d all be.
Too soon.
“Laurie?” Chase’s voice cut through the silence.
For once I wished I could see him, catch his reaction, know what he was doing.
“Is this a really a good idea?” I whispered, my voice almost breaking.
“Are you getting cold feet already? We haven’t even reached the altar yet.” His voice carried a hint of amusement. And then laughter erupted. “Laurie, I won’t ask impossible things from you. I’m just trying to help us both.”
“You don’t understand,” I mumbled. “Those things you expect of me, I’m not sure I can do them.” I eyed the sheets again, his words ringing in my mind loud and clear. “What if I don’t like it? Or what if I just can’t?”
“We’ll take it one step at a time and find out what you like and what you don’t. But make no mistake, Laurie. I won’t hurt you or force myself on you. And I sure won’t do things you won’t like. Experimental sex is what it is—us trying to find our heights and limits…” He trailed off, leaving the rest to my imagination. “Trust me.”
Maybe Chase was right.
“Do you have any other questions, Laurie? Anything that still bothers you? We’ll soon be a couple, so you need to be honest with me.” The humor was back. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I found myself smiling.
Was I ready to reveal my real thoughts?
My neck prickled and burned, as though I had just been stung by a jellyfish.
I had to.
“About the other thing. The day of our wedding.” I paused and moistened my lips as I pulled my legs to my chest. “How will our day look like?”
“We won’t have time to arrange something elaborate,” Chase explained. “Maybe a reception, have dinner, and then we could spend the night in a hotel.”
My stomach churned.
“Chase,” I said sharply. “Just so we’re on the same page, I’m not going to spend a minute in a hotel unless we have separate rooms.”
“Yeah, I know. You’ve made yourself clear on the issue.” Disappointment again, with just a hint of anger. Or maybe it wasn’t anger so much as indignation.
He thinks you’re rejecting him, which is understandable. First, you told him he was welcome. And then you said you didn’t want to sleep in the same room.
Talk about complicated.
“Whatever,” I muttered, and tucked my legs beneath me as I prepared myself to fight my corner. “I’m not going to sleep with you on Tuesday. That’s way too soon.”
“Are you sure about that?” No hesitation. No indignation. Just pure male arrogance. I had been wrong. He didn’t think I was rejecting him. He was convinced I could never say no and consequently he was impatient to take what he thought I’d give him sooner or later anyway.
I would never sleep with him; not because I didn’t want to, but just to spite him. Someone had to put a dent in that arrogance of his. The last time I found myself in bed with him, I had dropped my panties for him. My mistake. I had been too preoccupied with how sexy he looked, instead of realizing the kind of danger his good looks had on me, and what that could mean for us.
That was all before Chase came up with the sordid suggestion of living together.
Now I had to step up my game.
But keeping my panties on had never felt more difficult.
No pressure at all.
“Sleeping with you would be a conflict of interest, and you know it. Scratch the wedding night sex part or I’m out,” I said coldly.
“Fine. If you’re not interested in sex now, we don’t have to do anything.” His voice was nonchalant—cold, even. “Sooner or later, you’ll want me anyway. You told me before and you’ll do it again. There’s no doubt about that.”
No, he hadn’t just said it!
I laughed, but the sound came out all weak and strangled. Truth was, I had never met anyone like him and his self-assurance. The fact that he was so sure I’d accept all his wishes and demands frightened me.
“We’ll see about that,” I said, surprised by how defensive I sounded.
“Absolutely,” Chase replied, his tone still cold. “But just so you know, I’m not a man to beg. I’m a man to take. I’ll make sure you know what you’re missing out on until you come begging me for it…again.”
My breath hitched in my
throat and my heart began to hammer in my ears.
He’s only looking for a fun ride.
I shook my head, plucking at the fringes of my pillow.
Most men I had met thought they were only a training session away from an Armani model, which had always amused me. I could deal with an overinflated ego that was based on no merits at all. What I couldn’t deal with was a guy who actually had it all in the looks department. Chase wasn’t just all sexy, raunchy maleness. He had known which buttons to press to make me come so hard I couldn’t wait to do it again. Chase was pure uncorrupted perfection designed to corrupt my soul. One night with him and he might turn me from a tame cat into a tigress, and that I couldn’t afford.
“Don’t be so sure about that. Maybe you should have taken up my offer when you had your chance.” The words came out before I could stop them.
“I agree, because then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’d be lying beneath me, panting my name.” He sounded amused. “I don’t want to brag, but I bet you’ll be doing a lot of that once we get started.”
Chase had made himself pretty clear on that point. Only, on our first meeting, when he had put all the cards on the table, I hadn’t realized he had made it with the intention of pursuing a physical relationship with me later. I hadn’t even realized that he was the kind to carry his promises through.
There’ll be plenty of time for that in one year.
I still couldn’t wrap my mind around that one.
For a second we both fell silent. I bit my lip again as my brain fought hard to come up with a good excuse to end the conversation.
“Whatever you do, babe”—I cringed at his choice of words—“I expect to see you at the wedding ceremony.”
“I didn’t think you were serious on that part. That’s in four days.”
“Did I mention we’re getting married in NYC and we’ll be staying?”
I frowned. “Already? But you said your job—”
“The sooner we move, the better,” he said, cutting me off. “Don’t miss your flight.”
Oh, God.
“Why didn’t you say that earlier?” I whispered, and rolled my eyes. “I need to go, Chase,” I said weakly. “There’s a lot to do.”
“I’ll come over tonight and help you pack.”
