by Erin Trejo
I step up next to him, placing my hand on his arm. His eyes move to my hand before he releases my dad.
My dad adjusts his jacket with a smile on his face.
“I see you have a weakness now, Jaxson. That wasn’t very wise of you to allow me to see it.” Heat flares inside his eyes.
“You take my warning any way you choose, Brandon. As a threat, a promise of what’s to come. As far as my weaknesses go? I have none. I could end her just as quickly as I began her.” Hurt pierces my heart. I thought he cared about me. I thought we were moving forward. Now I feel like that’s all slipping between my fingers too.
“Look at that look in her eyes. You hurt her feelings, Jaxson. Let’s see how you get out of this one.” With that, my dad walks around us and leaves the kitchen. I hear more than one set of footsteps and I assume Jax brought in more security.
I take a deep breath before Jax punches the wall.
His body is coiled tightly. I step under his arm where it rests against the broken wood. I slide my arms around his waist, holding him tightly.
“Is this for me or you?” He’s asking if what he said hurt me. It did. He knows it did. But he’s put a lot on the line for me. As broken as I might be, Jaxson isn’t far ahead of me.
“I don’t know. Both.”
Chapter 71
Have you ever looked out at the ocean and wondered if the same molecule of water has touched the sand twice? If there is something greater than itself out there?
The sand shifts and eventually gets washed away but what about the water? Is it always changing? Does it repeat its actions?
I wonder the same thing about people. Do they have a greater meaning out there somewhere? Do I? My meaning of life has been warped since I was younger. All my life has been some kind of lie but the only truth that I hold onto is Jaxson. Why is that? Why is he the one thing that isn’t a lie? Or is he?
“Penny for your thoughts?” He says smoothly.
“Is that all they’re worth to you?” I glance over at the smug grin on his face.
“I think you know the answer to that.”
“Do I, Jaxson? I don’t know anything anymore.” I look down avoiding his piercing eyes. I don’t want to see the look in them. In fact, I don’t know why I’m sitting on this veranda with him anyway. I start to shove myself up when he stops me.
“Wait. Let’s make a deal.” I don’t know that I want his kind of deal. It makes my insides clench just thinking about what he might offer.
“What kind of deal?” Against my better judgement, I ask.
“Truth for truth. I give you one, in return, you give me one.” I sigh as I sit back down in the chair.
“You first.” Jax smiles before he shakes his head.
“Ladies first.” Of course, he would say that.
“I just wonder what my life is supposed to be. It’s been based off lies all my life. My mother was murdered. My father isn’t even dead. I don’t know where I belong anymore.” Jaxson sighs before he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“My mother is in a psychiatric hospital across town. Very few know she’s alive. She probably shouldn’t be.” I watch his eyes flicker with a new hurt. I reach for his hand, pulling it into mine.
“I’m sorry. What’s wrong with her?” Jax swallows hard before bringing his eyes to meet mine.
“You first, little puppet.”
“I’m scared of my future.”
“She was never well. Not since I can remember. She was always in her own head. It ate away at her. She refused treatment and eventually it consumed her.” He squeezes my hand a little tighter.
“That had to be hard on you as a child. You and Bryce share the same dad, right?” He nods his head slowly.
“He was a very dangerous man. He wanted to groom us into something bigger and better than he was. All it really did was turn us against each other. At least as we got older. Bryce wanted you for reasons he shouldn’t.” He’s giving me another piece of himself. One that I need to handle carefully if I want more.
“You said you could end me as quickly as you began with me.” I see the regret for that. It’s all there in his eyes.
“I thought I could. I thought that this would all end but I was lying to myself.”
“What does that mean?” I ask not sure I want the answer.
“It means you’re mine, little puppet. I will never be finished playing with you.”
Chapter 72
We lay in silence. It’s almost eerie. Knowing that he won’t give me up should frighten me. I should be terrified that he wants to keep me but there is something so deep inside of me that yearns for what he gives me.
His fingers run up and down my back before he says, “I have to go away on business for a while.” He’s leaving me? How can he do that after what he just said to me?
“How are you going to protect me if you aren’t here?” It’s the obvious question. I’ve put so much of my life into his hands.
“Don will be here. I have extra security in place.”
“I want to go with you.” The light vibration that filters through him slams into me.
“Oh, little puppet. Tell me what you feel when I’m not here? Not near you?” His fingers keep moving. My body responds to him.
“Like I’m losing control. I feel like the world around me is going to suck me under.” Why I’m letting myself open up to him is beyond me. I should shield myself from him.
“When she left, I thought the world was falling apart. I didn’t know how to move on with my life. She was never really all there but when she was around I felt a sense of peace.” His words are soft. Just like he’s being right now.
“She was your rock. You needed her.” Reality slams into me turning my stomach. I leap off the bed and run into the bathroom. I hang over the toilet losing everything that I ate earlier. Jaxson stands behind me holding my hair away from my face.
“What happened?” He asks. I shake my head as I lean back against his legs.
“It scares me how much I need you, Jaxson. I don’t know what to do when you’re not here. I can’t think of what might happen. When I’m in your arms, I’m safe. My world is safe.” I cry hysterically. Jaxson drops down behind me, pulling me into his lap. He holds my head against his chest as I cry.
What is wrong with me? I’ve never let myself depend on anyone before. Harvey was a safe haven. He was a protector. Don too.
Jaxson though, he’s more than that. Somehow in the fucked-up scheme of things, I’ve grown attached to him far more than I should have.
“I can’t be good for you, Jade. I’m not a good person. I take what isn’t mine to have. I do things that people shouldn’t do.” The more he talks the more I cry. I can’t handle his rejection. It hurts far too much to know that he’s pushing me away.
“I’m not good either, Jax. I never was. That’s why no one has ever wanted me. No one has ever cared about me.” I bury my face in his chest, tears wetting his skin.
“I don’t know when I let you in. I don’t know how you took everything I held close to me and ripped it away. All the walls I kept in place to protect myself from the outside world, you have managed to slip through the tiniest crack.” I look up at him not sure what he means. Not sure that he really means any of it.
“You’re coming with me, little puppet. I can’t promise you roses and sunshine. That’s not who I am. I will protect you though.”
Chapter 73
I’m nervous. Jaxson keeps glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, an amused smirk on his face. It isn’t funny to me. I’ve never been on a plane before.
“Can you calm down.” He says in his demanding voice.
“I can’t. I’ve never been on a plane, Jaxson.” His amusement is visible.
“Never?” He asks as he shifts in his seat. He gives me an amused glare.
“Come here.” He motions to me. I stand from my seat. Jaxson quickly pulls me into his lap.
“Want me to make you les
s nervous?” He whispers against my neck. The shiver doesn’t fail me this time either. It runs through my body igniting a chain reaction. My thighs clench.
“Jax.” I moan his name.
His fingers slide under the bottom of my skirt. Now I know why he made me wear it.
“No panties. You are a naughty little puppet.” He groans running his finger through the wetness that he finds.
“Tell me what you want.” Whispering in my ear my body over heats.
“You, Jaxson. I just want you.” It feels like those words have multiple meanings. Maybe they do. Maybe I need him more than I’ve let myself realize.
“Lift up.” I lift my hips. Jaxson unbuttons his pants and pulls his long hard length free.
“It’s your move, little puppet.” He’s never given me power. I’ve never had control of the situation.
I stand up and face away from him. His hands hold my hips guiding me down into his lap. I gasp as I feel the whole length of him inside of me. He’s so big and filling.
“Jaxson.” I whisper his name. He groans, his fingers locking down on my hips.
“Ride me, little puppet. Take what you need from me.” His voice is gruff and harsh. I love every second of hearing him like this.
I rock my hips allowing him to fill me further, as if that’s even possible. He feels so good inside of me. I never want to let this go. In my right mind, I know that one day I will have to walk away from him and live my own life but not now. Not in this moment. Right now, there is only him and me and I want every last second, I can get of him.
“Just like that baby.” He says against the back of my neck. His lips caress me, sending jolts through my body. The faster I move, the higher I get but when Jaxson bites into my tender flesh, I lose it all together.
I cum roughly with lights bursting behind my eyes. Jaxson grunts before I feel him hitting me deep inside. The feeling is almost too much to handle. I want to break down and keep him like this, meshed with me forever.
Jaxson loosens his hands from my hips before reaching around and pulling my spent body back into his hard chest.
I rest my head there trying to catch my breath. I can feel him jerk inside of me. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world to know that he is a part of me in this moment.
He presses small kisses to my neck before stopping at my shoulder and saying, “You feel amazing. Every time I’m inside of you is like the first.”
Chapter 74
We’ve been in Italy for a week. Jaxson has spent most of the week in meetings or other business dealings. I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell. That’s the beauty of our unconventional relationship I suppose.
One of his security guards, Rio, took me shopping today. I’d never seen anything like the stores here. They are all luxurious and elegant. Of course, Jax had me set up with credit cards to buy whatever I wanted. The only thing I bought was some lingerie that I planned on wearing for him tonight. Nothing else made sense to buy. The thought that I can’t be bought has crossed my mind but that is another reality I have to live with now. He bought me.
Rio followed me up the penthouse before nodding. I head inside to and drop my bag on the couch. Candles have been lit since I left and are strategically placed around the room. A smile crosses my face. It’s not Jaxson’s doing, this I know. He wouldn’t come up with this but he would damn sure pay someone to do it.
I walk into the bedroom and gasp when I see the long silk dress laid out on the bed for me.
I walk closer and find a note sitting on top of it.
“I have a surprise for you. I know we haven’t spent much time together this week but surely this will make you happy. See you at seven, little puppet. Jax.”
My heart skips in my chest. He’s doing something special for me? All on his own?
I run my hand down the soft dress and smile. I look down and find shoes already waiting. Some women would be mad that the man bought them clothing to wear for the night but not me. If anything, it makes me giddy with excitement. It means that Jaxson took the time to think about what he wanted to see me wearing. That he cared enough to put that much effort into the night. I suppose it should turn me off that he did the same with the dress for the auction but he did buy me back that night.
I pick the dress up and walk into the bathroom to get myself ready. I check the time and see it’s almost five thirty. I don’t want to make him wait on me. I’m excited to see what he has planned for us tonight. The thought of going out pleases me but the thought of being around other people kind of puts me off. I want to go out, don’t get me wrong but I love having Jaxson’s attention all to myself.
I apply my makeup before curling my hair. I look at myself in the mirror. For the first time in a very long time, I look almost happy.
Slipping into my dress, I realize I can’t zip it myself. I slide my shoes on and glance at the clock. Shit! I need to get myself downstairs.
I walk to the door and pull it open.
“Rio! Thank god. Can you zip me?” I ask spinning around. I smile when I hear him groan behind me.
“Are you trying to get me killed, Miss Dell?” I can hear the humor in his voice.
I spin around when he’s finished and say, “Not tonight I’m not. Thank you.” He gives me a quick nod before I head to the elevator. My body is on high alert. Not from fear for a change but from excitement.
Chapter 75
I walk towards the front entrance when I spot Jaxson. He stands with his back to me, a perfectly tailored tuxedo hugging that magnificent body.
Butterflies do backflips inside of me. I stand still just watching him. He must feel my presence behind him.
He turns around, his dark hair slicked back the way I love. His blue eyes dancing with mischief.
“I must say, Mr. Murphy, I’ve never seen a man look as good as you in a tuxedo.” His lips curl up at the edges, the perfect smile melting me.
“And how many men have you been looking at tonight?” His question is playful which is different for him.
I place my finger tip to my lip and pretend to be thinking when I say, “I don’t know. There were so many.” Jaxson laughs, taking a step toward me.
His hands wrap around my waist before he pulls me into him.
“I’m clearly not doing a good job at pleasing you if you have looked at that many men.” His tone has turned colder but the look is still in his eyes.
“There’s only one that I want to see.” His eyes drop to my lips when I say that. I wait for it. The kiss that I know is to come and when it does, it blows my mind.
The way he takes control sets my body on fire. Heat rushes through me.
“If we keep this up, you won’t get your surprise.” He says, his warm breath against my heated skin.
“I don’t care.” I’m breathless and he loves it. He likes me like this. At his mercy.
“Oh, I think you will once you know what it is.”
“Which is?” I ask hoping for some kind of hint.
“Miss Dell? What kind of man do you take me for? Do you really think that I’d ruin someone’s surprise?” Those golden flecks spiral around his eyes. I love when he looks at me the way he is right now. So, carnal and fierce.
“I wasn’t aware that I was going out with such a gentleman.” Those flecks sparkle with danger. They always do when he’s up to something.
“You will see how much of a gentleman I can be while we’re out but make no mistake my little puppet, when we get back to this hotel, I will show you just how dangerous I truly am.” Chills race up my spine.
“Let’s go before we’re late. Or I have to strip you and have my way with you in the back of this limo.” The idea excites me. He knows it does.
Jaxson ushers me inside. I settle into my seat before he climbs in behind me.
“How did you get that dress zipped all by yourself?” He asks as my cheeks flush hot.
“Rio had to help me.” He growls low in his throat.
“Remind me to kill him lat
er.”
“Was this your ploy? To have me waiting for you to come rescue me?” I ask him. His hand reaches up and cups my face.
“Rescue you? I’d rather torture you.”
Chapter 76
We walk the museum hand in hand. Jaxson doesn’t let me stray too far but my heart is full right now I don’t think I want to.
I can’t believe that he brought me here. This has to be the best thing anyone has ever done for me.
Every sculpture that I’ve ever loved is under this one roof. It’s a magical experience for me.
“Thank you, Jaxson. You have no idea what this means to me.” He smiles down at me.
“Yes, I do. And I’m glad that I could make this happen for you.” I push up and press a kiss to his lips.
“It’s perfect.”
“It’s not over.” He grins devilishly.
“You can’t possibly top this, Jaxson.” I grin as I look around the museum. This has been the perfect night. I never in a million years thought that I would standing in the middle of so many amazing artists.
The sculptures are spectacular. Jaxson grabs my hand and pulls me swiftly through the room.
“Jaxson! I want to look more.” I try to protest but when he spins and backs me against wall, nothing else registers with me.
His lips claim mine much like they always do. Everything below my waist clenches. My body responds to his in ways that I never dreamt were possible.
“Mr. Murphy, Mr. Ferrari is ready for you.” I gasp into his mouth. He didn’t.
“I did, little puppet.” He knows me. I may not like it but he does.
“Come.” He grabs my hand and we follow behind the man. My stomach trembles and rolls.
We stop at the last room on the long hallway. I take a step back but Jaxson stops me.
“I feel sick.” Jaxson leans down so that he’s eye level.
“You’re fine, Jade. This is an experience of a lifetime. Be happy and enjoy.” I swallow hard and nod my head.
