by Jo Leigh
"I don't think so," Trevor said. "Going to your place seems pretty dangerous."
"Suit yourself." She led him down the path between the cubicles, calling over her shoulder, "Chicken."
"You got that right."
He caught up with her at the elevator. A crowd mingled, as most people on this floor, hell, in the whole building, went to lunch at noon. She'd had to wait for fifteen minutes sometimes, just to catch a ride down. She wasn't about to walk it. Not all sixty floors.
"So, have you changed your mind?" she asked, smiling up at him.
"About what?"
"What I asked you last night."
He stilled, then leaned down a bit so he could speak quietly. "Only if you've changed yours."
"Nope. It's my way or the highway."
"The highway, it is," he said just as the elevator door opened. They hustled inside, and Trevor moved all the way to the back. She stood just in front of him, hemmed in on all sides by ravenous brokers. It wasn't pretty.
"We need to talk." Trevor whispered in her right ear, so close that she felt his warm breath on her neck. An unexpected frisson raced down her back, giving her goose bumps and instant hard nipples.
She nodded, wanting him to say more. Wishing everyone else would disappear.
The elevator stopped again, and even more people clambered in. Everyone shifted a bit, then the ride continued down, stopping again on the next floor, eliciting groans from those outside when they saw there was no more room.
Packed in like sardines, the unique and uncomfortable "elevator silence" descended, which always piqued Lee's urge to say something loud and rude. She quelled it, especially after another idea popped into her head. One hell of a wild idea.
She couldn't.
He'd go nuts.
She wasn't brave enough. Not by half. Or was she?
She smiled. What the hell? He wasn't going anywhere, and neither was she. The next floor was the express, which would take them all the way down to the ground floor. The ride would last about a minute. Just enough time. Oh, God, could she get up her nerve to really do it?
Forcing herself to be slow and patient, she eased her hand back, all the way, until she found Trevor's belt. Closing her eyes, she took the plunge. She moved her hand lower, lower. There. She felt it. She had her hand right on it! Oh, God.
"What are you doing?" he whispered fiercely.
"Taking matters into my own hands," she whispered back, not moving her head at all for fear that someone would turn and catch her with her hand in the cookie jar.
"Stop it."
"Not on your life," she said, growing bolder as he grew.
"Lee!"
"Someone had to take the bull by the horns," she said, fighting the urge to laugh, "so to speak."
"You're making a big mistake."
"I don't think so. And from what I can tell, you don't mind very much. I detect some enthusiasm, unless I'm mistaken."
"You are."
She couldn't help it. She laughed, but cut it off quickly as the woman in front of her turned to look. Instead, Lee concentrated on what her hand felt. Amazed at her own audacity, she felt almost giddy.
If this didn't jump-start things between them, nothing would. And this way, she didn't even have to face him. At least not until the end of the ride, and then… Well, he'd certainly know for sure that she wasn't kidding about the sex part.
She wished his pants weren't so thick. She'd like more details. But she felt enough. My, my. That old wives' tale about shoe size was right on target.
The elevator slowed, and the door opened. Immediately, the crowd rushed out, but Lee didn't move. Her body or her hand. She wanted to wait until the last possible second to let go. God, she couldn't believe it. It was something Susan would do, not her. She just wished she could see his face.
Her wish came true.
Trevor's face appeared before her. In fact, his whole body appeared. Which wasn't possible. Because she was holding…
Trevor stepped back until he was clear of the elevator. He smiled at Lee, enjoying the way her eyes nearly popped out of her head. The lovely shade of red that started at her neck and went up to her hair. The man behind her seemed equally flustered, which was completely understandable. Lee hadn't moved yet. The man, who Trevor guessed was in his sixties, stood stock-still. Not that he had much choice.
Trevor heard Lee say something like, "Urp." And then the elevator doors slid closed. But not before he waved goodbye to Lee and her new best friend.
* * *
Chapter 5
« ^ »
Lee registered Trevor's jaunty wave seconds before the elevator door shut with a finality that made her yearn for a firing squad. Every muscle in her body seemed to spasm at once, and a sharp "Ouch" from behind her reminded her that she hadn't let go. She opened her hand and leapt to the other side of the elevator, feeling her stomach drop as the elevator soared upward.
All she wanted to do was run and hide, or better yet, put a hole through the floor of the cab and plunge to a grateful death. Instead, she forced herself to look at the man she'd groped.
He was older, maybe in his sixties, with thick white hair, glasses and even teeth. His cheeks looked flushed, but other than that, he seemed remarkably composed, given the circumstances.
"I … I…"
"You know," the man said calmly, "in all the years I've taken this elevator, I never met anyone. For what it's worth, your introduction was top-notch."
Lee knew her blush could cook eggs. And when she let her gaze drop to the man's pants, she felt as if she were going to burst into flames. "I … I'm so sorry," she said. "It was a mistake."
The man laughed. "One hell of a doozy, I'd say."
"You were supposed to be someone else."
"Well, then, I guess this is my lucky day."
She blinked several times, trying to make some sense of her panicked thoughts. "You're not going to call the police?"
He shook his head. "Why, were you trying to rob me?"
She shook her head.
"Good," he said. "Because if you were, you'd need a lot of practice."
Just then the elevator came to a stop. The doors opened with a little whoosh, and even though she wanted to run as fast as she could, her feet didn't move. Nothing moved but her heart, which pounded so hard she felt sure a coronary was seconds away. The white-haired man walked past her, and as people filed in, he reached into his pocket, drew out a card, and handed it to her. "Just in case," he said.
Then, mercifully, he stepped out and the doors closed. Two floors up, Lee finally looked at the card. "John Farmer, Esq., Attorney at Law." She closed her eyes and sighed. At least when she killed Trevor, she'd have a sympathetic lawyer.
* * *
Trevor saw her as she stepped out of the elevator.
She spotted him a second later and he realized, too late, that he should have made a run for it when he'd had the chance. If looks could kill, he'd be a dead man.
She walked toward him, her purse swinging dangerously in her right hand, her gaze burning a hole in his forehead. He backed up, hitting the side of the newsstand. "I tried to warn you," he said.
"Don't." The single word was a warning, one a smart man would have heeded.
"I told you you were making a mistake." Lee opened her mouth, then closed it again, opting instead to slug him in the shoulder. Hard. "Ouch."
"Ouch, my ass. I could kill you for this."
"Hey, don't blame me. I wasn't the one who wanted to play grope-in-the-elevator."
"I've never been so humiliated in my life. Dammit, Trevor, why did you let me—" She slugged him again. In the same spot.
He moved, offering his other shoulder, and she gave him another good one. "Are you finished?"
"No. I'm going to hit you every chance I get. You deserve worse, you snake. You could have stopped me."
He grinned. "But that wouldn't have been any fun."
Lee crossed her arms, and he said a silent thanks. H
is shoulders couldn't take much more.
"I can't believe you. Of all the low, underhanded, dirty, rotten—"
"How did this become my fault? You were hoisted, my dear, on your own petard."
"I'll show you a petard," she said, uncrossing her arms.
Trevor started moving backward, clearing the newsstand so he could head toward the front door. He didn't take his eyes off Lee, though. "Now come on. You have to admit, it was funny."
"Funny? Funny? I felt up a complete stranger in public. You find that amusing?"
"Well, yeah."
Her arms went up and out, the purse swinging wildly from the end of her hand. He ducked, but the display of Tic Tacs right behind him had no defensive maneuvers at all. They went flying, little bullets of fresh breath hitting people in dark suits. Lee didn't care. She was on the rampage, and woe to the person who got in her way.
"I'm kidding," he said, holding up his hand in a gesture of acquiescence. "I didn't say anything because I didn't know how to do it without embarrassing you."
"Oh, good. That was considerate. Leaving me with some strange, aroused man in a tiny enclosed space was much better."
"Honey, the way you had him, he wasn't about to do anything to make you angry."
"That isn't the point. You should have stopped me."
He could see she was losing steam. Thank God. The employees at the Wall Street high-rise had given them a wide berth, and he had the feeling the gendarmes would be coming soon. Knowing instinctively that Lee wouldn't like jail, he started picking up Tic Tac containers. Lee helped by burying her face in her hands.
By the time the slightly wounded display was back together, and Trevor had given the newsstand guy ten bucks for his trouble, Lee seemed composed again. Angry, but composed.
"You okay?" he asked.
She nodded, still giving him the evil eye. "I won't forgive you for this. Ever."
"Sure you will."
She sighed. "I know. But you can't tell anyone."
He suppressed a laugh. If she thought he was going to keep this one to himself, she had another think coming.
"Trevor?"
The way she said his name told him she was thinking about hitting him again, so he nodded. "Okay, okay."
"Promise?"
"I won't tell anyone except Susan."
"If you tell Susan, greater Manhattan will know by sundown."
He got brave and put his arm around Lee's shoulder. It was meant to be a comfort, a friendly gesture to avoid making a promise he knew damn well he couldn't keep. But the second he touched her and felt her warm, soft shoulder, he was instantly aware of her body. His body. All those parts.
He let go with a jerk.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said, increasing the distance between them.
"That is not a nothing's-wrong face."
He looked around at all the people who had gathered around them. This was a whole new group who hadn't been here for the flying Tic Tacs. No one was paying them any mind, and he didn't want to get their attention.
"Well?" Lee looked at him quizzically, her right hand on her right hip. Her little black dress curved and dipped making him achingly aware of what lay beneath the material. He suddenly had the urge to ask her into an elevator.
"Hello?" she prompted.
He snapped his attention back to Lee's face. "Lunch," he said. "I'm starving."
She shook her head, then shrugged. Trevor made absolutely sure they didn't touch as they left the building, or as they walked down Pearl Street
. But his gaze kept sliding over, watching her hair glitter in the sunlight, the way she walked with easy confidence and grace. Next time Lee had the urge to grope someone, he was going to make sure he was squarely in the line of fire.
* * *
A little girl, maybe three or four, stood up on tiptoe trying to slip the envelope in the corner mailbox. Her father, at least Lee assumed he was her father, stood very close behind her, urging her on, his hands poised to lift her if she couldn't make the stretch. She finally did make it, and let the letter go, squealing with delight at her monumental accomplishment. Her father scooped her up in his arms, hugged her close and the two of them giggled as they waded through the after-work crowd on Fifth Avenue
.
Lee watched them until the crush of people in front of FAQ Schwartz swallowed them up. She sighed, the ache that had become as much a part of her as her breath squeezed her chest and sent her mood spiraling down.
Lee had decided a while ago that a lifelong relationship was not for her. But she couldn't deny the truth. She wanted her own little girl. She wanted her own husband. It didn't seem as if it were too much to ask, but evidently it was. Katy insisted that twenty-seven was too young to give up the fight, but Katy didn't understand. How could she, when she had Ben next to her? Lee was just plain tired of beating her head against the wall. Of facing failure over and over, of trying to move on, and act as if her heart wasn't permanently damaged. Something was wrong with her. Some missing gene, or a mental quirk, or bad karma, or who the hell knew what, except that it always ended the same way. Her falling in love, him not loving her back. Him getting married weeks later to someone who wasn't damaged. Three times.
She might not be a Nobel laureate, but even she could see the pattern. Love wasn't in the stars for her. It just wasn't her destiny. She'd accepted her fate, and made peace with it. Except for sometimes. Except for when she saw little girls on tiptoe. When she heard a giggle float down Fifth Avenue
. Then the unfairness of it all threatened to burst inside her, filling every crevice in her soul with shrapnel.
It took all her strength to turn away from the mailbox and the image of the little girl that still lingered in her mind's eye. She breathed deeply, willing herself to snap out of it. To smile. To focus on all she did have, instead of what wasn't to be hers.
Trevor. She had Trevor. That was a hell of a lot. He loved her the best way he knew how. While it wasn't the kind of love that she longed for, it was enough. It had to be.
She just wished they could get on with it. If she could sleep with him, if she could feel his body next to hers, then the ache would go away. She was sure of it. With Trevor, there would be no false hope. No dreaming about a wedding, or a baby. He would give her comfort, and she would give it right back.
Of course, first they'd have to get over this little problem of being naked. But she'd thought a lot about that this afternoon. After the debacle in the elevator, she wasn't going to press Trevor into dropping his trousers for her. That was too dangerous. Instead, she'd decided that they'd have to undress under the covers. At night. With the lights out.
Later on, she wouldn't care, but she knew enough about herself to know that the first time was going to be a little awkward. The more she thought about it beforehand, the more awkward the actual event was going to be. So what they needed to do was stop analyzing and start doing.
She planned to tell him that tonight, and she wasn't going to accept no for an answer.
"What are you smiling about?"
Lee whirled around to see Susan standing by the café door. She was a vision in pale-blue. A silk blouse, matching tailored slacks, and an Hermès scarf gave her an air of elegance, yet somehow also made her seem aloof. With her perfect blond hair pulled back like that, she reminded Lee of Grace Kelly. "Do you want kids?" Lee asked.
Susan's brows arched. "Right now?"
"No. Sometime."
Susan shook her head. "Nope. Having kids would mean having sex, and that would mean being with a man. So, no. I don't."
"What happened now?"
"The bastard wants my O'Keeffe. It's not enough that he wants alimony so he can stay home and work on his Great American Novel, which, by the way, is such drivel you'd get sick reading more than two pages. Now he wants my painting."
"He's not going to get it, Susan. He's just trying to rattle you."
"He's doing a fine job."
"Come on.
I'll buy you a drink."
"With two cherries?"
"With six, if that will make you happy."
Susan smiled and opened the door, and Lee went into the brightly lit restaurant. It was already crowded, with a crush of business types at the bar. Everyone seemed to be drinking martinis or Manhattans. The noise level was right up there with rock concerts and jet engines, so Lee used hand signals with Ellen, the hostess. Ellen had been a neighbor when Lee lived in Queens, so finding a table for five in the back room, the quieter room, wasn't a problem.
Lee gave Ellen a five-dollar tip, and complimented her on her shoes. Ellen smiled bravely and headed back to the meat-market section of the restaurant as Lee sat down next to Susan. She waited, expecting Susan to make a comment about the elevator mishap, prepared to deny everything, but the only thing Susan said was, "Who's not coming?"
"Peter. He has to rehearse tonight." Lee signaled the waiter, and relaxed. Trevor hadn't told. She should be ashamed of herself for thinking he had.
"Be nice to Katy and Ben," Susan said. "Katy got her period."
"Oh, no." Lee sighed. Katy had been three days late, and they'd been so hopeful.
"It really stinks. Of all the people in the universe who should have children…"
The waiter, a shinning brown-haired hunk in very snug black slacks, came to the table and right to Susan. He was instantly smitten. His eyes got wide, his clean-shaven yet rugged jaw dropped. He hung on her every word, and Lee could tell that Susan would be getting her Manhattan with a whole jar of cherries on the side. When Lee ordered her white wine, the waiter barely noticed her.
Lee watched him go, then turned back to the goddess next to her. "You amaze me," she said.
