He might have added, “and you to your husband,” I thought guiltily later. For now, however, I went back to my chamber and sat in the window seat, watching the boats glide down the Seine and thinking of my lover.
***
I could not moon around pining for Somerset for long, however, for King Louis and Pierre de Brézé arrived in Rouen just a few days after Hal left it. With them they brought a train of troubles. The Duke of Brittany had refused to allow Louis to bring his troops through Calais, making a siege of that city impossible, and King Edward, having learned of Louis’s proclamations on behalf of our cause, made a great point of assembling a fleet at Sandwich—just in case, it was given out, it became necessary to attack France.
That made Louis nervous, but there was another way we could get into Calais and win the garrison over to our cause: bribery. I moved to Boulogne, where I promised to pay the long-overdue wages of Edward’s men if they would come over to our side. But Edward, damn him, was no fool, and he miraculously found the money to pay the garrison. To rattle Louis even more, Edward sent a party under the Earl of Kent to raid the coast and began to make friendly overtures toward Castile. Suddenly Louis’s aid to me stopped, just as Somerset had predicted it would.
“We can do it anyway,” Pierre de Brézé said as I sat despondently at Boulogne.
“But we only have eight hundred men!”
“We’ll pick up some in Scotland. And more will come when you land in England. The northerners have always been with Henry.”
I pondered. What choice did we have? Louis in his present skittishness would not tolerate me staying in Boulogne forever, the Scots were no doubt getting tired of Henry, and we could accomplish nothing by slinking back to Angers. “But can we pay their wages? I have enough to hire the ships, but—”
“I will pay the men,” said Brézé. He patted my hand as he saw my astonished face. “Your family has long been dear to me, and besides it is not in my nature to see a lady so brave founder for want of friends.”
“God bless you,” I breathed.
So in late October, our forty-two ships and eight hundred men at last sailed for the coast of Northumberland—first stopping at Edinburgh to take my husband and Somerset on board and to leave my Edward in the household of Bishop Kennedy, who had always supported our cause.
It was a smooth voyage, and by now I had traveled enough not to be seasick, so I had full leisure to pace upon the deck, wondering about how I would meet Henry—and Hal. Surely my guilt would show upon my face when I saw my husband for the first time in well over a year? And Hal… I was not so base or so stupid, I told myself, to lie with him underneath my husband’s very nose, but my stay in Rouen had taught me that I could not entirely trust myself in these matters.
Beside me, Edward peered into the distance, as he had been doing every few minutes, leaning so far over that I instinctively grabbed him. “I see land, Mama! Land! Soon we will be in Edinburgh harbor!”
I managed to say calmly, “Indeed we will.”
The wind brought us quickly and safely into harbor, where, our ships having been sighted, Henry and Hal and a few others were waiting. Henry was the first to come aboard the ship. “Marguerite. Edward,” he said simply, and took us both into his arms. Edward, all boy, broke free quickly enough, leaving Henry to hold me close to him. “I have missed you greatly, my dear.”
“And I have missed you,” I said truthfully. “But I think I have done good work for you.”
“When do you ever not?” He stepped back and clapped Hal, who had been hanging back at a respectful distance, on the shoulder. “I was just telling Hal here that no man has ever had a better wife than I.”
My eyes stung, and I was grateful that the sea breeze could account for any tears that might escape them. Hal stepped forward and kissed my hand, “Welcome back, madam.” He bowed to Edward and smiled. “And your grace? Did you have a good journey?”
“I never got seasick. Not coming to France or coming back,” Edward boasted. He frowned as Bishop Kennedy came aboard. “Must I go with him? Can’t I stay and go with the rest of you to fight?”
“Not this time.” I ruffled his hair.
“But what if we win and I don’t get another chance?”
I smiled, and for the first time my eyes met Somerset’s. “Win? I think that would be absolutely lovely,” I said. “But don’t you fear. No matter what, there will always be another battle.”
***
We disembarked in Northumberland near Bamburgh, where the great castle stared down at us as we unloaded our ships and unfurled Henry’s standard. I had hoped that some adherents of Henry’s would have been there to greet us, but only a few loyalists joined us. We were not long disheartened, though, for Bamburgh was in the hands of William Tunstall, whose brother Richard was with us. After a lengthy brotherly discussion, William opened the castle gates. That very evening, we dined in Bamburgh’s great hall.
“So what is next, your grace?” asked Pierre of Henry that evening as we sat in the cleanest solar that we’d found. Keeping the rooms fresh had not been anyone’s priority here in some time.
“Margaret believes we should move on to besiege Alnwick. William Tunstall says that it is short of supplies.”
“I like that he has been so cooperative,” I said. “Thank goodness we had Richard with us; it is good to see brothers so loyal to each other.”
Lord Ros, who had smuggled Hal to my chamber at Rouen so many times, looked at the table. I winced, not having considered my remark before I spoke it.
Hal said in a businesslike manner, “Whom shall we send?”
“I believe that you and Lord Ros should stay here at Bamburgh,” I said, avoiding Hal’s eyes. “The rest of us will move on to Alnwick.”
“Ralph Percy holds Dunstanburgh,” Ros said quickly, as if expecting an outburst from his brother. “I believe he might be persuaded to hand it over to us.”
“Then to Alnwick we shall go tomorrow,” Henry said. He stood. “I believe I will retire for the night. You may leave, my lords.”
The men obeyed. I remained in the solar, which was adjacent to Henry’s bedchamber. “It is the first time we have been alone in many a day, Henry.”
“Yes.” He touched my face, gently. “I have missed you very much. Has a chamber been made ready for you?”
“Yes, but I would much prefer to share yours.”
“It is not as comfortable as you would like, I fear. There was some difficulty with the fire.”
“Then come to mine, Henry.”
“Very well.” Henry kissed me lightly on the cheek. “I will see you soon.”
My ladies dressed me in my warmest nightshift and I settled into bed, waiting for my husband. When an hour or so passed with no sign of Henry, I put a cloak over my shoulders and a pair of slippers on my feet. Grabbing a lantern, I made my way cautiously to the ramparts and stood there, watching the sea below.
Behind me, I heard footsteps. “Ah. I hoped I might find you here.”
“You knew you would.”
“I wasn’t sure, actually.” He took my hand. “You’ve hardly spoken to me since you picked us up in Edinburgh. I was beginning to think you’d forgotten all about Rouen.”
“There have hardly been opportunities. And there is Henry right here in Bamburgh with us. We cannot carry on like we did in France. It is wrong.”
“I fail to see the role geography plays in morality,” Hal said. “It is no more or less a sin for crossing the Channel.”
“You know what I mean.”
He cupped my chin. “Tell me, sweet. Did Henry come to your chamber tonight?”
“Hal—”
“I gather not, then. How long has it been since he saw you? A year and a half? Good Lord, Margaret, after a separation of that length from you, a normal man would have taken you back at Edinburgh in the ship’s cabin!”
“He is a good man, Hal,” I said hopelessly.
“The best in the world.” Hal slipped his hands un
der my cloak and smiled as my nipples hardened in response to his inquiring touch. “A saint, practically.” His hands drifted lower and I groaned in response to his expert manipulations. “You’re ready. I could take you right here,” he whispered, backing me against the wall. “Would you like that, darling?”
“It’s too cold,” I said as all of the fine resolutions I had made aboard ship evaporated under the force of Hal’s kisses and fondling. “Please. If we’re going to sin, let’s be warm at least.”
Hal grinned. “Ever practical Margaret.” He let the skirt of my nightshift fall back into place and took me by the arm. “I have been so presumptuous as to have a chamber made ready for us. Very private. And with a blazing fire,” he added coaxingly. “Like Twelfth Night come early, in my humble opinion. Well? Shall we repair to Chez Somerset, madam, or stand freezing on these ramparts?”
“A chamber made ready? You knew I wouldn’t say no to you.”
He smiled and fingered my nightshift. “Especially since you already came dressed for the occasion.”
The chamber Hal had found was high up in a turret and indeed had a blazing fire, but even then the room was so chilly that I was happy enough to leave my nightshift on as Hal and I lay together on a narrow cot. He himself remained in his fine linen shirt, which I ripped as I clutched him to me during my climax. “I love you,” he gasped as he took his turn at peaking.
“And I love you.”
“Even if you do ruin a perfectly good shirt,” Hal said, rolling off me and kissing me. “And you mean it, my dear?”
“You know I do. I told you so in Rouen.”
“Yes. But you were a wee bit touched by the grape, lass, as the Scots say. I wanted to hear it from you sober.”
I sighed and raised up on my elbow to look into Hal’s beautiful brown eyes. “But you know this is all hopeless, Hal. How can it last? Why should it last? It is wrong of us. I am wracked with guilt when I leave you. I will be wracked with guilt when I return to my chamber tonight.”
“Is that why you are leaving me here when you go off to Alnwick? To avoid me?”
“I did not want you and Pierre to quarrel over who was to direct the siege. They are French troops, after all, and he is paying their wages; it is more his right than yours. But yes, partly it is because I knew if you and I were there together, I would soon find my way into your tent. Already I have shown how weak my resolution is.” I sat up and hugged my knees. “I should leave now; I have been away from my chamber for too long.”
“But this fire has a couple more hours in it, I’d say.” Hal sat up and stroked my cheek. “Please? I’ve missed you.”
“And I you. But we cannot take these sort of blatant risks.” I rose. “Hal, do think of what I said while I am gone. We must end this, before something dreadful happens.”
“Oh, I shall.” Hal reached for my cloak and draped it around my shoulders, then kissed me tenderly. “I shall think of it, and I shall think of how you looked just this moment with the fire lighting up everything that’s beneath your pretty French nightshift, and it shall likely be a hopeless task, my love. But I will make the effort.”
***
Katherine was waiting for me when I returned to my chamber. “The king is here. He is in your bed waiting for you.”
With a trembling hand, I parted the curtains of my bed. Henry, who had been dozing, stirred at my approach.
“Henry? I thought you were not coming.”
“I was praying, my love, for our success. It took a long time.”
“I see.” Never in my life have I hated anyone as much as I hated myself at that instant.
“Your ladies said that you had a headache and went to the ramparts to get some fresh air.”
I breathed a sigh of thanks for the loyalty of my women. “Yes. I think it was the voyage. The moonlight was pretty on the water; I stood there watching it for a while. Then Somerset was kind enough to come upon me and escort me back.”
“He’s a fine young man. We must get him married when things are settled.”
Was there a hint of knowledge there? No, I decided. I kissed Henry on the cheek. “I can sleep now; my headache is gone. Good night, my love.”
Henry did not reply. Instead, he drew me closer and began caressing me until, perhaps as much as to his shock as mine, he became aroused. With a cry of triumph and with a force that made me gasp, he entered me nearly as vigorously as Somerset had just an hour or so before.
***
We left early the next morning for Alnwick, Somerset and his brother staying behind with a small garrison. As we discussed our plans and said our farewells, Hal, seeing that Ros, perhaps deliberately, had engaged Henry in conversation, turned to me. “You’ve lain with him,” he said in an undertone. “I can see it in his face.”
“He is my husband. Do be reasonable.”
Hal resumed his normal tone of speaking as Henry turned away from Ros. “May I?”
He was offering to assist me to my horse, but Henry was already there, helping me into my saddle. Hal forced a smile. “God be with you, your graces.”
***
Ralph Percy, as predicted, handed over Dunstanburgh—like Hal, he had seen his father die at St. Albans and had never had much love for Edward. Alnwick, which had been short of supplies, fell after a short siege, and we left it in the hands of Pierre’s son and a largely French garrison. But though we could now claim three castles, we would have to keep them garrisoned, and hardly anyone inside England had rallied to our cause. Could they be content with Edward and forgetful of our own rightful claims? I refused to entertain the possibility.
Then, after we returned to Bamburgh, we heard that Warwick was coming to relieve the castles and that Edward himself was speeding north.
“We can’t win a battle with them,” said Brézé, putting what we were all thinking into words. He shook his head at Hal, who was building a castle out of a couple of sets of playing cards as we spoke. “Not with the few men we have.”
“If we can’t raise men here, we’ll have to get them from Scotland,” I said.
“If they’ll come.” Hal cautiously tested a card. “They haven’t been that dependable, in my opinion.”
“Oh, lay the card on, Hal,” I said. “Bishop Kennedy is still our friend.”
“About our only friend, though. The queen is certainly not on our side now. Did you know that Warwick has proposed that she and Edward marry, and that she has given it consideration?” Hal smiled at me, not particularly pleasantly. “Now, there’s a couple for you!” He snorted. “Big as they both are, they can wrestle when they get bored with hunting.”
“But Bishop Kennedy is a powerful friend to us,” said Henry softly. He cleared his throat. “And I believe the Earl of Angus will support us too, with a little encouragement. I believe that the queen and I should return to Scotland and ask them for their support. Brézé, you shall come with us.”
“Then it is settled,” I said.
Somerset flicked his wrist and sent his castle tumbling down.
***
“As you are to leave tomorrow, I came to wish you a good-bye in private.”
“Who let you into my chamber?”
“Your obliging ladies. Don’t worry. I saw the king go off to Dunstanburgh with Brézé just now. He certainly is vigorous lately.”
“I believe he has hope he lacked before.”
“And he is lying again with you regularly. Isn’t he?”
He was, in fact, almost as often as he had in the earliest days of our marriage. “That is none of your business, Hal. What is wrong with you?”
“I’ve been looking for you on the ramparts. Every night. You haven’t come.”
“I told you, it is dangerous.”
“And Henry is keeping you so satisfied that you don’t need my services. Is that all I have been to you? A plaything?”
“Hal, you’re talking wildly. I lay with you in France and that night here because I love you, and love made me reckless.” I too
k my hands in his. “But you must be sensible. This has been an idyll, which we will look back upon fondly in our old age, but it cannot last. It is wrong whether or not Henry comes to my bed.”
His voice softened. “Then you want that night in that turret room to be our last? That narrow cot in that cold, drafty room? I think it only fair to both of us that we have a last time together that is more pleasurable. Such as here, in your comfortable bed with the sun warming us—well, as much sun as you get up north.” Somerset kissed me playfully. “Please? After all, we’re bound to be besieged here soon. Isn’t a bit cruel to leave a man here with nothing but his fellow men to look at, with no pleasant memories to think upon?”
I am not made of stone. “But it must be our last time. Hal, promise.”
“I promise.” Hal began to undo the fastenings of my gown.
Twenty years later, I can still perfectly recall it all: the sun glinting on our hair as it mingled on our pillows; my cries of pleasure blending so harmoniously with the squawks of the seagulls that I started giggling until Hal brought me to such a height that I could think of nothing except for the sensations claiming me; the incoherent endearments we whispered to each other; Hal’s gasps of pleasure after I’d slowly teased him to climax; the long, delicious sleep in each other’s arms afterward. It was sin, Lord knows, but it was sweet, and when the sunlight plays on the walls of my chamber a certain way and I think of all in my life who have come and gone, I remember it still.
***
“I don’t like the looks of that cloud,” Pierre de Brézé said the next morning as our ships sailed toward Berwick.
I came out of my reverie long enough to gaze upward. I shall never forget yesterday afternoon, my love, no matter what happens in the future, Hal had whispered just before Henry and I were rowed off to our ship. As best as I could without betraying myself, I had kept him in my sight until I could no longer make out his form. “It does look rather nasty,” I said lackadaisically.
Brézé gave me an irritated look. “That’s an understatement.” When I had nothing more to say for myself, he added, “I think we should head back to shore. I’ll speak to our captain.”
The Queen of Last Hopes Page 24
