“Oh, that’s a shame. Tell him I said hi.”
Wiping the crumbs of his mouth with the back of his hand, Ben nodded. “Will do.”
“Where have you been staying this week?” Esme’s gnarled fingers adjusted the skirt over her knees. The turquoise material billowed around her thin legs, its tiny sequins glinting in the sun. “It’s been a little tricky trying to find somewhere warm, hasn’t it? And with some of the attractions around town, it’s been busier with tourists. The council men are on the prowl.”
Ben nodded. The increase in the number of tourists had deterred them from staying in their usual spot. It didn’t surprise him the council was trying to move everyone on. Any time there was an increase in events around the city, they seemed to double their patrols and efforts in cleaning up the streets. Thankfully he’d been able to avoid any fines.
“Smiley found us a shelter just down from the green space. It’s a good spot, and no one’s given us any trouble so far. You?”
“Good to hear.” Esme coughed, her shoulders heaving as she drew a breath. “I’m staying up past the hospital with Tony and Izzy. We got told to move on the other day from our usual spot near South Bank. Come and join us if you want. You tell that Smiley to get better soon.”
“Will do. But you don’t sound too great yourself, Esme.” Ben frowned at the older woman. Sunken eyes stared back at him. Strands of white hair streaked through the dark curls hanging limply around her weathered face. Esme raised a hand to cover her mouth as another bout of coughing rattled in her chest.
The cooler weather was certainly a concern. Facing his first winter on the streets, Ben didn’t really know how cold it would get. He’d had some indication back when he braved the westerly winds, clutching his briefcase to his chest as he strode along the city blocks to his heated office. Back then he’d had the comfort of a thick coat and scarf to keep him warm. And he’d always had a warm house and bed to return to at the end of each day. Now … he didn’t know.
A wheeze rasped in Esme’s throat.
“Esme, that cough sounds terrible.”
“I’m good,” she croaked, tipping a bottle of water to her lips. “Just a little tickle.” Ben remained silent, watching as she stood and ran a hand over her hip again before limping to her trolley of worldly possessions. Pausing to catch her breath, she tucked her paper bag of breakfast into the basket and gave a small wave before hauling the trolley behind her.
Ben took another bite of the ham and cheese sandwich, his heart aching at the sight of Esme struggling so much. What a hard life she’d had. He certainly didn’t want to follow the same path and still be in this situation in another ten or so years. He didn’t want to be here in another ten months. But would anyone hire him now in his current state? He needed to do something. He needed a way out.
Graham lumbered over and sat down next to Ben on the vacated bench seat, interrupting his wayward thoughts.
“How’s it going, Ben?” The large man leaned against the metal backrest and casually crossed an ankle over his knee. A sparrow flew into the shelter, hopping across the ground as it pecked at the fallen crumbs from Ben’s sandwich.
“Not too bad.” Ben folded his empty paper plate in half, running his fingers along the crease. In all honesty, he wasn’t too great, either. More than nine months without a place to call home had been nine months too long. He still didn’t have a plan of action in place. Just a vague thought of where he wished he could be and where he certainly didn’t want to be.
With a black mark of bankruptcy against his name, no job, no friends, no home, his future prospects faded with the setting sun as each day passed.
“How are you coping? I know it’s been a big adjustment for you, like it is for most people. You’ve lost a lot. I’m concerned about how you’re doing. It’s been awhile since we’ve had a proper chat.” Graham’s gentle nature oozed compassion and kindness that burrowed beneath Ben’s walls of self-preservation.
Back when he’d first met the gentle giant, Ben had been defensive. Stubborn. Convinced he could figure things out without the need for a stranger to interfere in his life. Knowing how much he’d messed up, he hadn’t been ready to accept Graham’s kindness and extended hand of friendship.
Ben shrugged, eyeing the tiny brown bird as it hopped along the ground. Funny how the bird didn’t have to scrounge for food, or worry where to find shelter. It probably didn’t have a care in the world.
“I don’t know. I think I’m doing okay, all things considered. I’m grateful to Smiley for helping me navigate life on the streets. And also to you and Sue for what you do for us. For the food, and for being a listening ear.”
“It’s our pleasure, Ben. We’re always here if you need a chat.” The larger man smiled warmly. White hair crowned his head, a striking display of his wisdom. “I know it’s difficult, but have you given much thought to the future?”
“You mean, like where I see myself in ten years?” Placing the paper plate on the seat beside him, Ben leaned forward, clasping his hands together as he gave a derisive laugh. “I certainly don’t want to be here, that’s for sure.”
“What about your family?” Graham leaned forward, mimicking Ben’s posture so they were at the same level. His brown eyes, full of compassion and devoid of judgement, met Ben’s.
“I think about them every day. Especially Millie, and …” His voice cracked at the thought of his second child. Inhaling sharply, he forced down the sob threatening to burst out. He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. He’d chosen his path. He’d made the mistakes. He would pay for his mess. Running his hands through his hair, Ben pursed his lips, focusing on the steady intake of air into his lungs. His gaze followed the lines of a jagged crack in the concrete. “I don’t even know if I’ve got a son, or another daughter.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes, blocking the dam of tears ready to spill. Millie’s face, so sad as he said goodbye, flashed before him. She’d reached for him and cried out his name as he walked away. Helpless, his heart shattered into pieces at the sight of her so distraught.
In hindsight, he should never have married Krista. Marrying his pregnant girlfriend had been the right thing to do at the time, to save face with her parents, keep her good reputation amongst her peers, and not tarnish her family’s name. Never mind his. He was a nobody after all. He would’ve been able to live with a tarnished reputation as a single father, as long as he could still see Millie. What hope was there for him now?
“What about your wife?”
“Ex,” Ben murmured, a hint of bitterness lacing his words. “She was quick to issue those divorce papers. I tried hard to find another job, but there was absolutely nothing. Not even as a janitor in the public toilets. I should’ve been honest with her before I lost my job. But I think she’d made up her mind very early on in our marriage that I wasn’t worth the fight. I was clutching at straws to keep her.”
“Have you seen your family since?”
Ben turned his head away and wiped his eyes. Not since Krista stood on the front porch of her parent’s house with Millie watching him go. Her parents stood guard like sentinels. Their faces solemn, bearing masks of disgust and contempt. He’d given everything for Krista, and lost his pride and sense of worth in the process.
What an absolute mess he’d made of his life. And what a pathetic legacy he was leaving for his children. Just like his parents had left for him. He’d wanted to be different, to be as far removed from his own upbringing as he could, but all the striving in the world had proven otherwise.
Krista would be fine, he didn’t doubt that. Her parents’ money would ease her pain and embarrassment, and he would be but a mere blemish on her otherwise perfect life. But it was his children he worried about – growing up with the stigma of a homeless father, just like him with an alcoholic father. Other kids could be cruel. And it broke his heart to think about what his children would endure – the teasing, the name-calling, and the emotional trauma - due to his stup
id mistakes.
“Don’t give up hope, Ben.” Graham’s face softened as he laid a stocky hand on his shoulder.
“I’m trying not to. But it’s already been quite a few months. I thought I would just need a few days to sort out a plan. But here I am. I never thought I’d see myself in this predicament.”
“No one ever does.” Graham stretched his legs out in front of him and gazed across the park. “Listen, I know you’ve probably seen the flyers we set out on the table every morning, and I’ve spoken to you about the group before.”
Ben nodded. Graham had mentioned a support group for the homeless months ago. He’d also picked up a flyer out of curiosity, but returned it once he’d glimpsed over the words. He didn’t need a drop-in centre. He could sort his own mess out. Couldn’t he?
“We find most of them on the ground, or shoved into the nearest rubbish can once we pack up. But we still put them out, because you never know who might be helped by the information.” Graham chuckled. “As I’ve said before, we have a drop-in centre associated with our church that you’re more than welcome to attend. Sue facilitates a few groups there. It’s just a place for connection, somewhere to have a chat and find a listening ear. There’s no pressure at all to go. But the offer’s there.”
“I’ll have a think about it.” Ben steepled his fingers against his lips. What did he have to lose? He’d already lost everything he’d once considered his world. Rock bottom was not a new place for him. Besides, there wasn’t any further to fall.
“Good talking with you, Ben. Oh, we’ve got a festival coming up soon if you’re interested. It’s something we do every year for the community. It’s a free thing, and we invite our friends here to come along.” Graham patted his back and pushed to his feet, his knee joints cracking as he did. “Anyway, I best get back to helping Sue. Natalie couldn’t make it this morning, so it’s just the two of us.” A brief flicker of concern flashed across his face, before his familiar smile settled in place.
Ben opened his mouth to ask about Natalie, but instead, bid the older man goodbye. Did Graham know anything about what had happened? It wasn’t Ben’s place to ask, or mention that he’d been there and witnessed the near assault. After all, he was just another homeless guy with zero significance and nothing to offer.
With a sigh, he zipped up his pack and picked up the paper bag with Smiley’s breakfast. Gosh, he hoped Natalie was okay.
10
After a few nights of tossing and turning, and recurring dreams of a contorted face leering at her in the dark, Natalie called in sick for her Saturday afternoon shift at the hospital. It was a rarity to call in, and something she felt completely guilty about. She thought her few rostered days off would allow her time to recover, but she still wasn’t in the right frame of mind for dealing with patients after her scare earlier in the week.
She spent most of the day on the couch, attempting to read, nap or watch television, but found her thoughts constantly drifting. Perhaps she needed to buy a car. Then she wouldn’t have to rely on public transport and walk home late at night. No. That would defeat the purpose of her choice to live in the city where everything was within walking distance, or at least easily accessible by public transport. And she refused to give into fear, just because of one person. She would just have to limit walking late at night, and perhaps consider taking a taxi home when she finished work.
Tucking her legs underneath her, Natalie flicked mindlessly through the television channels. Bright images flashed across the screen. Shopping networks selling useless products. News. Children’s shows. A nature documentary. Nothing of interest grabbed her attention. Tossing the remote onto the couch, she stood and walked over to the window, pushing the curtains aside and adjusting the shutters to allow the daylight to flood her small apartment.
The Wheel of Brisbane turned slowly, offering its occupants a bird’s eye view of the city. Ferries cruised up and down the river. The city was alive with the afternoon rush of traffic and people bustling about their business. Everyone was out there doing something, while she was inside, cooped up with her thoughts.
How was it possible to feel so alone in a city full of people? If only her mother were still alive. Resting a hand on the windowsill, she swallowed the burn in her throat. Oh, how she missed her. They’d fought during her early teenage years, just normal, trivial stuff. But she’d never forgotten the caring heart and unconditional love her mother had given her.
Wiping her eyes, Natalie walked over to the table, picked up her phone, and dialled her sister. Glancing at the clock above the television set, she calculated the time difference and hoped Naomi would be home.
After three rings, a familiar voice answered. Natalie sank to the floor, her toes curling into the plush cream carpet.
“Naomi. It’s me, Nat.” Naomi had barely asked how she was before tears flooded Natalie’s eyes and the events of the week came pouring out between sobs.
“Do you want me to fly over? I can arrange something with Dean’s parents to mind Alyssa.”
“No, it’s fine.” Natalie sniffed, pulling a tissue from the box on the coffee table. “I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure? You don’t sound okay.”
Natalie wiped her nose and scrunched the tissue into a ball. “I’m fine, really. I just miss everyone. And it’s times like this that make me really miss Mum.” Her heart ached with the pain of loss. Even nine years on, she still needed her mother.
“I know. I miss her too.” Naomi’s soft voice traveled down the line. “Have you filed a police report? Is there someone there you can talk to?”
“No, I haven’t called the police. Nothing actually happened,” she sighed, running her fingers through the carpet. But something almost did. If those two men hadn’t stepped out from the alley, who knows what would’ve happened.
And no, she didn’t have too many close friends. She’d been too busy with work and volunteering to get to know many people on a deeper level. She knew a few people from church her age, but not enough to call and have a heart-to-heart with. As an introvert, she didn’t have enough confidence to insert herself into an already-established group. She was happy enough with the small group of people she knew. Or she had been until the near-assault made her realise just how desperately she craved some close friends.
As Naomi continued to talk, Graham and Sue came to mind. It was odd to think of people her father’s age as her closest friends. But she valued their integrity and wisdom, and their heart to serve the Lord, no matter the cost. She’d felt awful about informing Sue she wouldn’t be able to help with the breakfast van for the rest of the week, but she couldn’t bear to face anyone.
“Can you talk to the older couple you work with?”
“Maybe.” Perhaps all she needed was to focus on something else and not dwell on her near miss.
“You’ll get there, sis.” Naomi’s voice cut through her thoughts. “It takes time to settle into a new place, but you’re doing so well. I know I wouldn’t be able to pack up and move states on my own. You’re very brave for making the move. God’s got big plans for you, and He was obviously watching out for you last night.”
Natalie’s mind drifted to the two men who’d stepped out of the alley to come to her aid. Had they been angels? Did angels even appear in modern times? Who knew what would have happened if they hadn’t shown up. God had certainly sent them along at the right time. Once safely at her apartment building, she’d turned around to get a look at them, but they’d disappeared into the night.
Natalie tucked her hair behind her ear and watched a trio of kestrels circle the nearby high-rise, looking for a place to land.
“I think you’re amazing for stepping out in faith. Just keep following God’s call. He’s got you.”
After chatting to her three-year-old niece, and catching up on Dean’s fly-in fly-out engineering work in the mines, the sisters bid each other goodbye.
Pushing aside her melancholy and loneliness, Natalie slipped on her jo
ggers, pulled a cap on her head, and tucked her keys into the pocket of her running tights. It was too beautiful a day to stay inside, and she refused to let one terrifying experience ruin the rest of the afternoon. She was alive, and she still had so much to be thankful for.
A clear blue sky greeted Natalie as she stepped onto the footpath outside the apartment building. With her schedule free, there was no better time to start exploring the city she now called home.
Weaving through the afternoon crowd bustling along the city streets, Natalie made her way out of the central business district towards the river. The constant roar of traffic faded to a low hum as she left the tall buildings behind and crossed over the bridge. Wandering through the park, she kept an eye out for some of the people she’d come to know from the breakfast van, but they all seemed to have moved on for the day. The park, usually deserted in the mornings, was now alive with cyclists, joggers, and people picnicking on the grass enjoying the sun’s warmth.
Natalie continued along the waterfront, past the Performing Arts Centre, where she stopped to read a large sign on the side of the building advertising an upcoming stage production, and on into South Bank.
With nowhere else to be, she enjoyed taking the time to soak in the vibrant atmosphere and admire the beautiful scenery. Melbourne, with the Yarra River and riverside parklands, was lovely, but Brisbane was in a class of its own.
Bougainvillea twisted around a stainless steel arch, creating a stunning natural artwork with vibrant pinks and greens against the backdrop of the cloudless blue sky. Natalie paused to listen to some street performers at the side of the walkway – a female singer accompanied by a male guitarist keeping beat with a stomp box - before continuing on, past the beach, the cafes, the Maritime Museum, and over the Goodwill Bridge.
The setting sun bathed the Kangaroo Point Cliffs in a warm orange glow. Natalie stood at the end of the bridge, moving out of the path of cyclists and other pedestrians, and watched as people abseiled down the cragged cliffs. She admired their athleticism and fearlessness as they descended down the ropes, and vowed to add that experience to her bucket list. That and climbing the Story Bridge.
River's Edge (Hope Rising Book 1) Page 5
