by Jami Wagner
“No.”
“You’re positive? Because we have another two hours to drive and as much as I like heavy music, I’d prefer to show up at home without my ears bleeding.”
“She just—”
“Keep going.”
“I don’t—”
“You almost have it.”
“She didn’t pick me,” I spit out.
Silence is the only response I get.
“Hey, man, you wanted me to talk, and now you have nothing to say.”
“Well, fuck, I didn’t say I was going to know what to say back to you.” Conner grunts.
“Well, think of something. I’m tired of no one having anything to say to me.”
I hit the steering wheel with my palm. Fuck. She couldn’t even pick me. Before she left, she wanted to be with me, and now she can’t even make a decision.
“Alright, so, I know this whole road trip was my idea, but I have to be honest. I thought you would act a bit more smooth when we got there,” Conner says, keeping his eyes on his phone.
“Smooth? I was way fucking smooth.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure about that. You acted like you were back in high school or even junior high. Sara had an excuse because she’d been drinking, but I don’t see one for you. And I know exactly why you were there, so to me it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but to others you may have come off as a bit more intense.”
I glare at him. “Intense?”
“Yeah, you were kind of scary.”
I let his words soak in. I wasn’t that bad. It’s not like I went in their throwing fists and handing out black eyes. I couldn’t have scared anyone. Did I? Shit. What if I scared Sara and that’s the reason she didn’t answer me?
“And not to mention—”
“Okay, I think we’ve done enough talking,” I interrupt him before he can say anything else to make me feel like a jackass.
Intense.
Sara used that same word at Liam’s apartment. Maybe I am intense, but it’s only because I care about her. And maybe I need to tone it down a notch, but no one ever said love needed to be monitored. Now is not the time to start either.
Chapter Eighteen
Sara
“I knew he would do something like this,” my father says over the phone.
“No, you didn’t,”
“Yes, I did. I had a feeling he was a little on the crazy side.”
“He’s not crazy. He’s mad and I hurt him.”
“Mad and hurt turns people crazy.”
I roll my eyes and plop onto the sofa. My plan had been to not tell my father about Logan, but some how he overheard someone at the BA and now here we are.
“I don’t think you should see him right now.” My father’s voice is firm.
“I can’t do that. I may be mad, too, but eventually we are going to have to talk this out.”
“Just stay in Colorado for a couple weeks. Liam can keep you company in the meantime. Now that’s the kind of boy you should end up with.”
“Dad, stop. I don’t like Liam, not that way.”
“And why not?”
“Are we really having this conversation?”
“You spend more time with him, and he has a solid head on his shoulders.”
“He lives here. I didn’t plan to be around him more. It’s just the way it happened. He’s the assistant in a bar, Dad. Let’s not go giving out awards just yet.”
“All I’m saying is that you spend more time with him than you do Logan, and I think there is a reason for that.”
“Yeah, because you always schedule for Liam to go to Wind Valley and not me. You have it planned perfectly to keep us apart. If anyone is to blame right now, it’s you for keeping us apart.”
“I’ve done no such thing. If Logan wants to be with you, he wouldn’t care what I tell him to do.”
I sigh into the phone, hoping the noise alone will the get the point across that I am done with this conversation.
“Dad, I have to go now.”
I hang up the phone before he can reply and dial Logan’s number immediately. The only way we are going to fix this is if we talk about it. It’s already been two days and, as unpleasant as this conversation is going to be, we need to have it.
“Hello?” a female’s voice answers Logan’s phone.
“Um, hi, is Logan around?”
Who’s answering his phone?
“Uh, he’s busy right now,” she says, and when she giggles, the noise going right through my ear and crunching my heart, I know exactly who it is.
Abby.
That bitch.
I end the call, storming out of my apartment. I need a distraction and leaving my phone—the one I had to buy because I couldn’t find my old one—on the couch is a perfect one. For someone who thinks responsibility is important, I can’t seem to keep a cell phone longer than a couple of months.
I head out the door and straight for The Silver Tap, because really, where else am I going to go?
Throwing the door open, I’m shocked to find Liam there. He’s behind the counter and has almost the entire back wall marked with labels of where everything should go. I stand there, frozen. He glances behind him, giving me a sad smile.
“Another idea of Logan’s,” he says quietly and shrugs.
I sigh, completely defeated by my life right now. I’m too young for this. Knowing your future should be easier than this.
“So, hey, I know what’s going on by the look on your face, and I think I should tell you something. If you hate me when I’m done and want to fire me, I’ll fully understand.”
I raise one eyebrow as he piques my interest. I wait, but he doesn’t say anything right away.
“Well?” I ask. Why can’t anyone I know communicate like a normal, person anymore?
“When I was in Wind Valley last weekend, your father invited me over for dinner.”
I roll my eyes. Of course he did.
“During dinner he made a comment about how he’s extremely proud of you and everything you’ve done down here, but he is worried about you.” Liam takes a cautious step toward me. His eyes don’t leave mine. “He suggested that I invite you out because no one visits and all your friends back home are still having fun. He was afraid he was taking that away from you. I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”
I sniffle and blink back the tears. I know exactly what happened.
“I swear I thought it was innocent. Even when he made the comment about how disappointed he was that certain people weren’t making the effort to see you. I never put two and two together. Not until you did come out and Logan showed up, and now you’re—I don’t even know what you are.”
“We’re on a break, you could say,” I whisper.
“I never realized how much your dad was pushing this.”
“I did,” I say. Liam looks at me with confusion.
“You knew?”
I nod. A tear slips and I wipe it away. I should have never let go of that hunch so easily.
“Well, that’s great!” Liam says with excitement. “Then it was all your dad and had nothing to do with you and Logan. You can end your break now.”
“No, we can’t.” Another sniffle. “Knowing this makes it worse. It means I didn’t trust Logan. It means that my father knew how to play us against each other and we weren’t strong enough to get through it. We should be strong. I should have known. Now everything is a mess, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
My shoulders shake as I cry. Liam steps around the bar, hugging me awkwardly.
“It’s going to be okay. Breakups suck, but eventually you move on.”
I take a breath, releasing it slowly when he says “breakup.”
Returning to his spot behind the bar, Liam watches me with concern.
“I don’t know what to say, but I think everything will work out. Just give it time.”
Biting my bottom lip, I nod and get up. I thought being away from my apartment would help, but any
thing is better than having to talk about it. Being alone is exactly what I need.
Logan
Clara looks up at me with her big, brown eyes and another bubble of spit forms on her lips. Her legs twitch, landing stick straight before she curls back up and a smile appears. Then she spits up all over me. It’s nasty, but I laugh anyway.
“Here, take this.” Ethan hands me the spit-up towel from Clara’s baby bag. Kelsey laughs and Abby joins her. A flash in her hand reminds me that I asked her to answer my phone because I was too busy playing with Clara.
“Who was it?” I ask. Kelsey pulls Clara out of my arms and the spit starts to run down my shirt. Gross.
Abby’s smile drops, she shrugs, and looks away. “I think it was Sara, but I didn’t recognize the number.”
My head jerks up and I push off the couch toward her.
“Why didn’t you get me?” I grab my phone off the counter and look up in time to find Ethan whispering something to Kelsey. They both freeze when they catch me looking.
“What number is she calling from?”
They shrug in unison. Right, they have no idea.
I hit redial and head down the hall to my bedroom. I don’t want to have this conversation in front of anyone. There’s going to be a lot of groveling on my side, and they don’t need to witness it. The ringing ends and her voicemail picks up.
“It’s Sara, leave a message.”
“Hey, it’s me. Call me.”
I sit on the edge of my bed and wait. The memory of when I broke up with her high school comes to mind. I’d left her house and went straight to the field looking for a fight. I found one, took out some stress, and went home to call Sara and tell her I was wrong. I left her a voicemail then, too, asking her to call me back. She never did.
Twenty minutes later, I call her again. Abby answering my phone was a bad idea. I seem to be having a lot of those lately, and I need to get it together. The call goes to voicemail again. This time I don’t leave a message. I just hang up and pray things are different and this time, she will call me back.
Chapter Nineteen
Sara
Four hours is how long it takes me to drive back to Wind Valley. I don’t want to be here right now. One week isn’t long enough and I need more time to think, but I want more than anything to be in town with Kelsey on her repeated biggest day ever. Facing Logan at the reception is a small price to pay. My fear now is that I’ll see him before I’ve completely thought out what I’m going to say. I’ve thought about it all day every day and more on the drive, but I still got nothing.
The bathroom door to the hotel suite where Kelsey and I are getting ready opens slowly as she steps out. A smile takes over her face as she holds out her arms.
“You look freaking amazing,” I say, touching a strand of her hair. She colored it a shade darker today, got a spray tan, and is now ready to go in a white and gold sheath dress with sparkling gold heels.
“You don’t think it’s too much?” she asks, glancing at herself in the mirror.
We make eye contact through our reflections, and even though my heart is breaking inside for Logan and me, it has room to be happy for Kelsey and Ethan.
“I think you look perfect. Ethan has no clue how good he has it.” I force a smile and start to fidget with my hair. Everyone is waiting for Kelsey and Ethan to show up downstairs. Which means for me, I’ll need to head down before her, and even though I’ll be in a room full of people I’ve known for years, I don’t want to have to make small talk with any of them.
I’m only twenty-three. I still have my whole life ahead of me. A whole life to make bad choices, make mistakes, and get to know people outside of Wind Valley. Yeah, so I’ve been to more countries than most people my age, but that was all luck and a lot of me being spoiled by my father’s money.
“I still have you and Logan sitting next to each other. Is that okay?” Kelsey asks, and there’s no mistaking the concern etched in her voice. I look away and grab some gloss.
“I honestly thought you two would be talking again by now.” She frowns.
Me too.
“Yeah, of course. It’s completely okay.” I pop my lips together. I don’t want to think about Logan just yet. “Are we ready to go?”
Right as Kelsey opens her lips to answer, a crazy concocted knock at the door stops her. We smile. That’s the knock she told Ethan to use. I give her a quick hug and head for the door, laughing at the disappointment Ethan’s face takes on when I step out of the room.
“She’s coming, lover boy. Hold your pants,” I say, patting him on the shoulder and continuing on my way.
The reception room is huge with white, red, and gold all over. People are everywhere, sitting, eating, and drinking. The music hasn’t started, but the chatter in the room fills the silence in my head. I glance around, searching for my parents or anyone else I may want to avoid. I don’t need any surprises. If I spot Logan first, then I will always know where he’s at, and from there, I can successfully avoid him at all points during the night. If I time it right, I can get through dinner putting up with a maximum of only ten minutes of awkward talking time.
Abby’s annoying laughter catches my attention from across the room. I glare at her and then immediately feel guilty. Technically, there’s no proof she and Logan are anything more than friends. Just because she answered his phone and is still living in his apartment doesn’t mean anything. I hope.
Abby’s my friend and she has been since we were kids, but she was also Kelsey’s friend back when she fooled around with Tyler, Kelsey’s ex-boyfriend. The woman has got to know that even though we’re friends, a part of me doesn’t trust her with Logan. Yet she’s still always around him and I’m always questioning why I’m still friends with her.
My eyes remain focused on her as she talks to a group of people I recognize but can’t quite name when Logan walks up behind her. Abby smiles at him and then pops her hip out, giving him a pouty face. She adjusts his tie, he smiles at her, and then she straightens his coat before winking at him and walking away.
That sure looks like some damn couple behavior to me.
Logan
“Logan, seriously, Sara isn’t going to fall head over heels for you all over again if you walk in there with a crooked tie and a wrinkled jacket,” Abby says, straightening my tie. “And would it kill you put a freaking smile on your face? We all know you’re sad, but nobody died and it’s time you start to act normal again.”
She does a poor attempt to remove the wrinkles on my coat. I flash her my best smile, maybe a bit of an exaggerated one, to show her I’m trying.
“Ugh, whatever. That will have to do. Now get out of here and go find her before she catches you standing here and assumes the worst.”
“No shit,” I say, my eyes widening when I realize I said it out load.
Abby winks at me. “Just don’t mess it up this time.”
Trust me, no one wants to make this work out more than I do. The group Abby had been talking to slowly moves away from me. I stuff my hands into my pants pockets and my gut practically lunges into my throat when I see Sara watching me from across the room. Her eyes are big and beautiful but filled with sadness. There’s no doubt in my mind that I put that glazed expression on her face just now.
Never taking my eyes off of her, I take a step in her direction. She shakes her head and I stop. Then she walks away.
“Well, I’d say you’re off to fabulous start. Don’t you think?”
I groan, rubbing the back of my neck at Conner’s words.
“Yeah, man, real winner right here.”
“I’m just going to toss this out here, but I’m starting to pick up on the fact you and Sara have communication issues. It looks like you two can’t even make it through ‘a look’ without getting the wrong impression. And just now, you did exactly what she wanted. You stopped after she told you ‘no.’ We both know she assumes something is going on between you and Abby. We both also know that’s not the case, bu
t instead of talking about it, you two just let the situation get worse.”
Who’d have expected that much wisdom from Conner? It’s so deep, I have to pause and let it soak in, especially the part about how I’m making this worse. Nah, I’m not doing that. It’s no secret Sara and I have never mastered this communication thing. He takes a swing of the beer in his hand.
“That’s your fucking cue, man. Follow her and don’t take no for an answer until she talks to you. Either that or end it.” His raises his left brow as he pushes me forward.
“Fuck, okay. I know what I need to do, but I also know Sara.”
“Yeah, you knew single my-career-is-my-life Sara Connelly.” His voice gets lower. “This is I-found-love-in-a-relationship Sara Connelly. New woman. Now go resolve this mess you’re in.”
Just hearing her name puts a smile on my lips. I don’t think twice. I turn and head straight for Sara. Unfortunately for me, she isn’t in the same spot she was a moment ago. Now, she’s in front of the drink table with Beth and she’s standing next to Abby.
I walk a little faster, hoping Abby doesn’t make things worse.
Chapter Twenty
Sara
“Logan is such an amazing guy.”
I’m about ready to vomit right here in front of everyone. I can’t even tell if Abby is talking in a, I-love-him way or in a you-need-to-know-what-you’re-missing way.
“He’s funny and cute and smart and—”
“She knows,” Beth interrupts her, and I hold back the cheer that is dying to slip from my lips. Thank god she said something, because if it had been me, it wouldn’t have come out so polite.
“Does she, Beth?” Abby snaps. “Because if you ask me, she’s being selfish and acting like a child.”
What the—?
“Oh, she’s acting like a child? This coming from you? Really, Abby.”
“I’m not perfect, I know this. But come on, what Sara’s putting Logan through is just bullshit, and she needs to get her shit together before he leaves her for someone else.”
Beth narrows her eyes at Abby and steps forward. It’s like I’m not even here.
