The Law of Desire

by Gwyneth Bolton

  Damn! “Yes, Jed. I would appreciate your help in this matter.”

  “Well, now, that’s a first…” The sarcasm in Jed’s voice pulsed through the phone lines.

  Lawrence gritted his teeth and counted to ten. “I would be in debt to you and more than willing to pay it back however you see fit.”

  Damn! Wait until I get my hands on Minerva…

  “Yeah? You’d be willing to take back every snide remark you ever made about small-town policing?”

  “Of course. Those comments were made in the spirit of friendship.” Lawrence forced a chuckle.

  “Hmm…Well, I’m not saying that’s what I want. But you’d best believe I’ll be calling in the marker on this one, Hightower.”

  “Yeah, well, you have to actually find her first…”

  “I’ll give you a call when we get her. You want us to bring her back to you or take her into the station?”

  “Maybe Minerva Jones needs a taste of how grave the situation is…Bring her into the station and let her get a feel for the cell.”

  “I guess that means you’ll be needing a ride into town?”

  Damn!

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “She in your SUV? The black Navigator?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. See ya in a bit, Hightower.” Jed chuckled. “I can’t wait to share this with Dale. We’re gonna have a good laugh about this one. And I’m sure we’ll be able to think of a really creative way for you to pay us back.”

  I’m sure you will…

  “Thanks again, Jed. See you soon.”

  Another cruddy jail cell?

  When did this become her life?

  The last thing she expected was the sheriff, or the deputy in this case, to come waltzing into the bus depot looking to arrest her. She hadn’t factored in a long wait for the bus or the bus being late. But she should have, since they were in such a small Pennsylvania town.

  The young deputy had a smirk on his face the entire time and mumbled something about big-city cops not being immune to pretty young things. She could only assume that Lawrence must have called them to find her. That’s why she was so shocked when the Ashton Kutcher-looking deputy locked her in the holding cell.

  The really messed-up part about it was that when the deputy came back in, with Lawrence right behind him, Lawrence’s eyes said it all. He was pissed.

  “I can see why you got sidetracked enough to lose your witness, Hightower. She’s a pretty girl. I guess even a big-city cop like yourself can be a victim to a pretty face. Try to hold on to her this time.” The deputy chuckled and patted Lawrence on the back before settling in at his desk. He eyed them both as if he were waiting for a show to begin.

  “Thanks again, Jed. And like I said, I owe you.”

  “Yeah, and like I said, you’ll pay.” Jed chuckled.

  Lawrence gritted his teeth and then his angry eyes landed on her.

  Oh, yeah, this was going to be bad. Would she be able to get him to understand that she just didn’t want anything bad to happen to him? How could she do that without letting him know how much she had come to care for him? She couldn’t tell him she loved him. It would be too awkward, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to deal with him not loving her back.

  Unflinching, she toughened her resolve and looked him dead in the eye.

  He narrowed his gaze and his nostrils flared. Not in that sexy, I-want-you-so-bad-I-could-hardly-breathe way that she had gotten used to over the past few days. No, this was the you’re-lucky-you’re-in-that-cell-or-I-would-throttle-you stare.

  She couldn’t help it; she flinched. So much for being tough…It was hard to put on airs when you knew you were wrong.

  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t press charges and have you arrested for grand theft auto, Minerva.” He bit the words out in a cold and distanced manner that made her heart stop.

  Because I love you and I’m sorry hardly seemed like the right thing to say. She took a deep breath. “I—”

  “I don’t want to hear it. Jed, can you let Ms. Jones out. We’ll be leaving now.”

  “Aww…And here I thought I’d be getting a front-row seat for this one. Oh, well…” Jed took his keys and let her out of the cell.

  Lawrence was painfully silent during the ride back to the house. His jaw set in a harsh slant, he kept his eyes on the road and he seemed to have a tenuous grasp on calm.

  “Lawrence—”

  “Don’t.” He bit the word out, his tone demanding and resolute.

  It would be the longest thirty minutes of her life. She couldn’t possibly be expected to just sit there and not try to explain. Why did he care if she left anyway? It wasn’t like she was going to steal his car. She had left a note.

  “Listen, Lawrence, I know you’re upset and I don’t blame you—”

  “Damn it, Minerva, I said don’t! I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Well, I need to explain! See, what had happened was…” She stopped talking when she noticed him putting his signal on and pulling off onto the shoulder. He stopped the car and put it in Park before turning and glaring at her.

  Uh-oh. This can’t be good. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to try and explain.

  She swallowed.

  “I figured it would be best if I put more distance between myself and the people looking for me, before anyone else got hurt.” She rushed out the words and chanced a glance at his face.

  She’d seen stone more flexible than the angry glare on his face. She didn’t remember ever seeing him that upset. Even when he was her permanent shadow and thought she was a drug-dealing gang banger, he’d never looked at her with the kind of disgust and distrust that he had on his face now. They had come so far only to end up further apart than they were in the beginning.

  And it was all her fault.

  “Lawrence—”

  “Save it, Minerva. I don’t want to hear your excuses. To think I even considered trying to trust you. You can’t be trusted. I won’t believe a word that comes out of your lying mouth.”

  He pulled back onto the road and she didn’t bother trying to explain anymore.

  When they got back to the house she figured she’d just go to her room and try not to cry. She’d been doing a wonderful job of keeping her emotions in check, given all the craziness that had happened in her life since her brother was murdered. So she couldn’t really understand the sudden and overwhelming need she felt to crawl into a ball and bawl like a baby.

  It was as if the world was crashing down on her—her brother’s murder, the McKnights’ murder, David being angry with her and now Lawrence being angry with her, too.

  The whirlwind of feelings threatening to combust inside her must have meant she was further gone than she thought. Having Lawrence so upset with her was breaking her heart and the only way that could happen was if she was already head over heels in love with him.

  Feeling heaviness in her chest, she walked toward the room she had been sleeping in when she wasn’t wrapped in Lawrence’s arms in his bed.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “To my room.”

  “Uh-uh. Do I look stupid? You think I’m going to take my eyes off you now? All you’ll do is try and sneak out again. We’re sharing a room.”

  “I just thought, since you are so upset with me—”

  “Oh, trust me, if I could be away from you right now I would. And you certainly don’t have to worry about me trying anything with you. This is about the fact that I can’t trust you and I will not give you another opportunity to flee.”

  A sharp pain raced through her chest. How many times was he going to say he couldn’t trust her? Like that was something new.

  He has one more time to throw that trust crap in my face, though. One more time…

  “Can I at least get my nightgown?” She hadn’t exactly needed one when she had shared his bed before.

  “Hurry up. Don’t let me have to come get you.”

  She
put on her nightgown and went into his bedroom. The pink cotton oversize T-shirt-styled gown came past her knees, but she still felt a little under-dressed. She stood by the bed for a moment wondering if he really wanted her to share the space with him.

  The angry glint in his eyes made her weary of asking him if he really thought it was a good idea. Honestly, she didn’t know if she could take much more of his snapping at her without cussing him out. And since she was in the wrong, she would try to stay away from giving him a piece of her mind.

  As soon as she got into the bed, he walked over, took her arm and cuffed it to the bedpost.

  Oh, now see…that’s it! That’s the last straw!

  “What the hell are you doing, Lawrence? Is this really necessary?”

  “Since you snuck your behind out of this very bed and this very room while I was sleeping, I’d say yes, it is necessary.”

  “You’re acting like a real jerk right now.” Her voice caught and she willed herself not to cry. It wasn’t about trying to save face; it was about righteous indignation.

  He shrugged and walked away. She watched him strip down to his boxers and get back into the bed. She willfully ignored his body.

  “Who is David Sims, Minerva?” he asked in a clipped voice. His eyes were pinned on her.

  She blinked.

  Where the hell did that come from? How the hell does he know about David?

  “And don’t you dare lie!”

  “I’m not going to, Lawrence. I messed up. I shouldn’t have just left like that. But that doesn’t mean you get to treat me like crap. I’m sorry.”

  “Save it, Minerva. Answer the question.”

  The way he asked the question showed he already knew something. So no matter how much she had wanted to keep David’s name out of this and spare him from becoming more involved with her brother’s mess, she had to at least offer up something to Lawrence.

  “He was my brother’s best friend and the McKnights’ first cousin. We all grew up together, but David was the only one of their group not to get involved with gangs or lead a life of crime.”

  “If he’s not a criminal, then why is the LAPD looking for him? And why is there a possibility that he was in New Jersey when the McKnights were murdered?”

  “LAPD is dirty. The dirty cops working for the people who killed my brother might be after him. I told you that the people who killed my brother have dirty cops working for them. That’s why I had to leave without talking to the police. I’m sure those same dirty cops are the ones trying to blame David. He’s a businessman, not a criminal. It makes no sense.”

  “If you don’t know who killed your brother and who might be after you, how do you know they have dirty cops on their payroll?”

  “That’s what I was told…”

  “By who? Who told you that?”

  “David told me…That’s why he helped me. He gave me the money to leave town and he got Timmy and Tommy to let me hide out at their place.”

  “And you don’t find it a little too coincidental that three people with ties to Sims are dead? That he was really the only one who knew where you were and he might have been in town when those people tried to snatch you and the McKnights were killed?”

  “David wouldn’t do that…”

  “The Paterson Police Department found the people in the white van and they are close to getting them to finger who hired them. So far they’re only saying it was a guy from California.”

  She nibbled on her lip. This was just too much.

  Did David really have something to do with Calvin’s death? Timmy and Tommy’s, too? It couldn’t be. Could it?

  Her voice choked. “Why would he do that?”

  “You’re saying you don’t know anything about David’s criminal activities?”

  “No. He’s not…My brother always used to say that he was a schoolboy who couldn’t hang…I…”

  “We’re going back to Paterson in the morning. We’re going to put you under surveillance and we’re going to find out once and for all what is going on with you, Minerva. If you’re somehow involved with this Sims guy and his criminal activity, we’ll find out.”

  “Oh, my God! You really think I’m a criminal?”

  “I don’t know what to think. I know innocent people don’t sneak off and steal cars in the middle of the night.”

  A lump settled in her throat the size of a golf ball. Her eyes started to sting.

  The murdered bodies of Calvin, Timmy and Tommy swam into her consciousness. She hadn’t even buried her brother because she had trusted David to handle it. What if he hadn’t? Was Calvin in a cheap pine box without so much as a grave marker?

  She gasped and tried to bite back the sob that wouldn’t be contained. She never knew she could hurt this badly. She turned around and faced the wall.

  Lawrence had barely trusted her anyway and now he never would. Two men were dead for trying to help her and she’d failed at getting away so that she could get Lawrence out of danger. He could die. The stinging in her eyes heightened and intensified.

  He cannot die.

  The weight of everything—the death, the distrust, the denied desire—all converged and blew wide open the hole in her heart that had just started to close after her brother’s death. The best thing she could do was try not to cry too loudly because the tears were determined to come, no matter how hard she tried to stifle them. She wouldn’t be able to hold them back for long.

  “And we also need to address our condom mishap a few days ago. You could be pregnant.”

  “Don’t worry, Detective, I won’t be bothering you if I am. You don’t have to worry about me even telling you. I would hate to burden you with sharing a child with a woman you can’t trust.”

  His hands gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. The arm cuffed to the bedpost twisted a little and she winced.

  “Don’t even think about it, Minerva. If you dare have my child and think you can just not let me know, you had better think again. Do not test me on this one. I will not have a child of mine out there in the world that I can’t be a father to.”

  Everything was a mess and becoming messier with each passing minute. Could her heart break any more? What if she were pregnant? Could she really raise a child with Lawrence around as a constant reminder of how she ruined what could have been an amazing thing between them?

  No.

  “You can threaten me all you want. But I don’t have to do anything but stay black and die. You can’t make me tell you anything. You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do.”

  His eyes narrowed and that hurtful, disgusted look suffused his entire face. “You just try it then, Minerva. Try having my child without letting me know. You’d better pray that I never find out you did, because your betrayal card is full with me already.”

  She closed her eyes. “I don’t know why we’re even talking about this, let alone arguing about it. I’m not going to argue about nonexistent issues.” The thought that she might be pregnant and could possibly have a child by a man she loved who didn’t trust her was the one extra thing—on top of her pent-up guilt over her brother, the McKnights’ murder and Lawrence’s life possibly being at risk—that finally broke her down. She couldn’t hold in her feelings any longer.

  She turned back around and her tears started almost immediately. The tears poured forth as if someone had opened up floodgates.

  Lawrence thought he would be able to fall off to sleep with relative ease. After all, he had been right not to trust her all along. He should have felt vindicated. He should have been at ease with the knowledge that he had called it correctly. Instead, he felt like someone had stuck a knife in his heart, twisted it and left it in.

  He could tell that she was trying to hold back tears, that the only thing stopping her from heart-wrenching sobs was her pride. It broke his heart to hear her cry and that angered him. Why should he even care? Her tears should be of no consequence to him at all. But they bothered him. His anger diss
ipated with each shudder of her breath, each shake of her shoulders, each soft sob.

  “Minerva, stop. Don’t cry. Please.”

  She kept crying.

  “Look, I know you’re upset that you got caught and couldn’t get away, but crying isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

  Plus, you’re breaking my heart. Stop it please, baby.

  He got up and unlocked the handcuffs before pulling her into his arms. As soon as he did, she let loose a cascade of tears and the silent crying became harsh, stuttering cries so filled with anguish and pain it shattered his soul.

  She buried her head in his chest and sobbed.

  This was the woman who took his constant surveillance with a smirk and a smart comment. This was the woman who took Kendall’s interrogation without cracking. He hadn’t seen her break into tears then, so why was she crying now?

  Feeling like a class-A jerk, he rubbed her back.

  “I’m sorry…Lawrence. I just didn’t want anything to happen to you…I couldn’t take it if anything happened to you…” Her words were stilted by soft gasps of breath.

  Her words sounded so heartfelt. He lifted her chin and stared in her overflowing eyes. She seemed so sincere.

  “It’s okay, baby. Nothing is going to happen to me. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you, either. I promise. Now please stop crying, okay? Please.”

  “I can’t because it’s all messed up now. I just wanted to do the right thing because I care about you so much. So much…I care about you more than I wanna admit. And if you died because of me, it would kill me—”

  “Nothing is going to happen to me. Don’t worry yourself about that. I’m a cop. I can take care of myself. I’m a tough guy. The only thing I can’t handle is your tears, so stop crying.”

  She didn’t stop. So he held her and listened until she had spent all her tears. Holding her in his arms felt so right it scared him. There wasn’t any question in his mind; she was “the one” for him.

  Chapter 13

  Waking up in Lawrence’s strong arms made her feel safer than a girl on the run should feel. She almost wished she could stay in his embrace forever. Forget almost, she did wish she could stay there forever, forever-ever. She wanted this man for her very own and knowing she couldn’t have him, because he would never be able to trust her and it was all her fault, darn near had her in tears again.