by Amy Sumida
And my heart.
I needed to start being brutally honest with myself. I was falling for Raza. And that statement was ironic in so many ways. The first of which was my literal fall and his subsequent catching. Then there was the fact that I'd sworn up and down that I was going to be true to Tiernan. Raza had laughed at me, the bastard, and I really didn't want him to be right. I didn't want to choose him after Danu said I would. No woman enjoys being predictable but mainly it was Tiernan.
I loved him. Goddess I loved him. I may protest every time he brought up the subject of marriage but hearing him say that he wanted me to be his wife had made my heart twitch with happiness. I envisioned what life would be like married to Tiernan and all I could imagine was joy, pure bliss. I wanted that and I wouldn't let anyone stop me from having it. I slipped my arms around Tiernan's waist and sighed.
“You're still thinking about it,” he chided me. “Here,” he pulled a cushion onto his lap and eased me onto it. “Try and sleep.”
“Tiernan?”
“Yes?”
“Are you really over three-thousand-years old?”
He tensed, his hand clenching at my waist.
“Tiernan?” I looked up at him. “It's true, isn't it?”
“Who told you that?” He evaded.
“Raza.”
“Of course,” he growled.
“Is it true?”
“I don't know; I lost count after two-thousand.”
“No you didn't,” I chuckled.
“No, I didn't,” he sighed. “Yes, Seren, I'm three-thousand-six-hundred-forty-two.”
“Wow,” I whispered and snuggled back against him.
“Wow?” He mimicked me. “That's it? I finally confess my age to you and you say; wow?”
“I figured you were old,” I shrugged. “I was off by sixteen-hundred years though.”
“You thought I was two-thousand?” He sounded horrified.
“You don't look a day over fifteen-hundred,” I said with all seriousness and he began to laugh.
“Thank you,” he paused and then, “Why did my age come up with Raza?”
“He said you were older than he is,” I settled in, slipping my hand around his thick thigh. Warrior thighs... sigh.
“I'm shocked that he even knows that,” Tiernan muttered.
“Well, he wasn't certain,” I said drowsily.
Tiernan must have realized that I was finally starting to relax. He stopped speaking and went back to stroking my hair. The bouncing of the carriage helped to lull me to sleep, and when I woke, I was home. I blinked and rubbed my eyes to see the glistening lavender stones of Castle Twilight rising up on the hill outside my window. A hailing cry came as we approached the gate. The magical barrier and its false façade of an empty courtyard vanished, revealing the true scene of a multitude of twilight fey waiting for us.
In the midst of my people stood my father, just like the first time I had arrived in Twilight. But this time, I ran to him without reservations. This time, I needed my daddy, not just my father, and Keir understood immediately. He swept me up in a strong hug and rocked me gently, making soothing sounds into my hair.
It was in times like this that I wondered what my life would have been like if my seelie grandmother hadn't interfered and forced Keir to send me back into the Human Realm with my mother. Ewan Sloane was a good man and a damn good extinguisher but he hadn't been the most affectionate of fathers. When some childhood trauma had brought me to tears, Ewan would tell me to invite the pain in and make it a friend. Only then would I conquer it and grow stronger. He did make me stronger but sometimes a child just wants to be held by her daddy.
“It's alright, Seren,” Keir whispered. “You're home now.”
And I was. I was finally home and although my heart still hurt for Ewan, still ached for the man who had raised me and then disowned me, that hurt was getting easier and easier to bear. Keir was quickly becoming the only man I thought of as father. He gave me a different type of strength than Ewan had; a power born of compassion and unity. Ewan wanted me to be able to stand on my own but Keir was the man who had truly taught me how to do so. Ironically, it was by giving me his love and support. When you had love behind you, standing alone was easy because you were never truly alone. So I took the strength Keir offered, knowing it would always be there for me, no matter what I did or said. My true father would never turn his back on me. That knowledge was even more comforting than Keir's embrace and with it, I was able to pull away and give him a steady look.
“So it's to be war then?” I asked him. “The Court of the Nine Sons succeeded after all”
“Well, not precisely in the way they'd hoped,” Keir shrugged and waved a hand out to our waiting court. “Now greet your people so we can go inside and have a meal together.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” I chuckled as I waved to the gathered fey.
They cheered, warming my heart further, and I realized that somewhere deep down, I had wondered if they would resent me for the death of our knights. But perhaps it really was as Tiernan said and the only person who held me responsible for what happened was myself. And my evil Uncle Uisdean of course.
“I think I'd like to shower and change before the meal,” I said as Keir led us inside.
“Of course,” he looked over my dress. “That's a bit tight on you Whose is it?”
“Lady Sorcha's,” I said softly. “Raza's mother.”
“Oh,” my father blinked at the dress and then stared into my eyes. “Did you... I mean, not that it matters but... did you? With Raza?”
“No, Dad, I didn't have sex with Raza.”
“Oh,” he shrugged. “I would understand if you had. He did save your life after all and such things can stir the blood.”
“Dad,” I rolled my eyes towards Tiernan pointedly.
“Oh,” Keir frowned. “Your relationship isn't open?”
“No,” I huffed and shook my head. “I wish people would stop acting like it should be.”
“There is no should or should not,” Keir chided me. “Follow your heart, Daughter, that's all the advice I'll give you on the matter.”
“Thank you,” I said with satisfaction.
“But a union with Raza would have some unique benefits.”
“Ahh!” I threw my hands up and raced up the stairs ahead of the men. Cat ran to catch up with me. “Men are insane, Cat,” I said to her. “Let's go take some time off from them.”
She yipped and we hurried into my bedroom. Except my bedroom was also Tiernan's now, so he followed us in there while my father laughed and walked by towards his own chambers.
“I'll have some food sent up to you,” Keir called back to us. “Join me downstairs when you're done.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I called as Tiernan closed the door.
“Time off?” Tiernan lifted a pale brow at me.
“At least enough time for me to shower,” I kissed him quickly and went over to the armoire to find a dress that fit me better.
“So no shower sex?”
I froze.
“Then again, it saves water when you shower together,” I turned to smile at him.
“Not the way we do it,” he scooped me up and carried me into the bathroom. “But I think Twilight can spare the water.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
When Tiernan and I emerged from our bedroom, extra clean and satisfied (I meant satisfied with our meal but yes, that too), we found Twilight preparing for war. Armor was being polished, knights were training, and wagons were being loaded with supplies. I knew we were to lend aid to Raza but I hadn't thought we'd jump to it so quickly and I said as much to my father when I saw him.
“We've tried it my way, Seren,” he said. “That obviously has not worked. So now, we will try your way.”
“You're gonna go get into a fist fight too?” I teased.
“No, Twilight is going to take his throne from him,” he said with deadly calm.
“You don't even want to see
if the unseelie support Raza's claim first?” I asked.
“This is not a democracy, Seren,” he said sternly. “We don't allow our subjects a say in who rules them.”
“But you get a say in who rules another kingdom?”
“As the King of Twilight,” he nodded, “yes, I do. And as a blood relative of the present King of Unseelie, I think I'm qualified to pass judgment on whether Uisdean is a fitting ruler or not.”
“I thought you were supporting Raza?” Tiernan smirked at me. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, I've already given my support,” I chewed at my lip and looked around the busy courtyard. “I'd just like the unseelie give their support as well.”
“They've begun to,” Tiernan shrugged. “And I think once this new queen starts working her evil through the court, more will come around.”
“But is that true support?” I frowned. “Or are they simply choosing the lesser of two evils?”
“Now you're calling Raza evil?” Tiernan chuckled. “For the first time ever, I find myself wishing he were here, just so he could hear you say that.”
“Tiernan, you know what I mean,” I growled. “Most of the unseelie don't know Raza as we do. Not all of them have seen the qualities he possesses which would make him a good king. I just don't want a repeat of what happened to his grandfather.”
“You think the unseelie will kill Raza after he replaces Uisdean?” Keir lifted a brow. “I don't think so, Seren. Raza, as you say, has many kingly qualities. The unseelie will see that once he takes the throne and they will know that the best choice has been made for them.”
“Seren,” Tiernan took my hand. “This is not America, we can't hold an election for Raza.”
“I know,” I sighed. “And I know Uisdean needs to be removed. I want to see him removed. But I also keep seeing him reaching for me out of that tower, trying to save me.”
“Just because he didn't want Rue to kill you, it doesn't mean he doesn't want you dead,” Tiernan said grimly. “And then there are the recent deaths he must be held accountable for and we cannot get our justice if he remains king.”
“Alright,” I felt my jaw clench. “What can I do to help, Dad?”
He was just about to answer me when a chiming carried out of the palace to us. My father lifted a deep purple brow and looked back towards the entrance hall. The silver star set into the floor gleamed as a regiment of twilight knights walked across it on their way to their training courtyard. But when Keir strode into the hall, the men came to a halt and bowed their heads to their king. I knew they did so out of true respect, not because they were afraid that they might be hurt if they didn't. This was what I wanted for Raza, to be loved and admired, not just feared.
Then I remembered those kuperi; how he'd given his blessing to each one of them, and I knew he would be loved and admired. It was impossible for him to not be. Hmph, maybe that was my problem; I was attempting the impossible when I tried to stop myself from loving Raza.
“Are you coming, Seren?” My father looked back to me.
“What's that?”
“I'm betting that's your Uncle Uisdean scrying me,” Keir grimaced, “and I'd like you to confront him with me.”
“He hasn't scried you yet?” I asked as I hurried to him. Cat and Tiernan trailed after us.
“No,” Keir ground out. “Yet another grievance to add to my list.”
We climbed the stairs and went into the royal living quarters. We had the whole upper level of the castle keep to ourselves, though we didn't need that much space. Keir's crystal ball was in its own little room and although we didn't rush to answer the scry, it was still chiming when we reached it. That in itself was telling. Uisdean was never so patient.
“Brother,” Uisdean said as soon as his face came into focus within the crystal ball.
“Uisdean,” Keir said coldly.
Ouch. He hadn't even given Uisdean his title.
“I assume that you've had a report on what happened with Seren?” Uisdean asked warily.
“From the horse's mouth, as it were,” I stepped forward.
“Seren,” Uisdean's eyes widened in surprise. “I'm relieved to see you alive and well.”
“Really?” I lifted a brow. “You mean after you killed my men, beat me senseless, tossed me into your dungeon, shackled me with magic-dampening chains, and brought your crazy dead wife back to life so she could throw me out a window?”
“I had no idea she would...” he sighed heavily. “Death and rebirth has taken its toll on Rue. She was confused and exhausted.”
“Exhausted from tossing me out a window?” I lifted a brow.
“Seren,” Uisdean snapped.
“Don't you dare take that tone with her!” Keir leaned forward. “You've gone too far this time, Uisdean. Your actions cannot be justified by your racist beliefs. You can't wave your hand and say; she would have hurt you, Brother. Or; I was merely trying to save your kingdom from a half-human girl, Keir. This time your actions were a direct attack on a regiment of twilight knights. An unprovoked attack, no matter what you may say.”
“Seren came to attack me,” Uisdean ground out. “I was acting in self-defense.”
“If that were true you wouldn't be standing there trying to conceal that wound,” Keir pointed accusingly at Uisdean's neck, where a cut just barely peeped out of his high collar. “Did your lovely wife try to take your head?”
“It was an accident,” Uisdean said in a low voice.
“Your corpse bride is crazy,” I growled at him. “And it's because you brought her back dishonorably. You murdered my knights!”
“Our knights,” Keir took my hand and we faced Uisdean together. “You're no longer my brother.”
“What?” Uisdean scoffed. “Will you cast the psychic death on me as you did your own mother? You cannot deny your blood, Keir.”
“No, I won't cast death upon you,” Keir said with menace. “I wish to see you live and suffer. And I will, Uisdean,” he held up our joined hands. “We will.”
“I tried to save Seren's life, Keir!” Uisdean cried. “Tell him, Seren. Tell him how I tried to save you as you fell.”
“I did tell him,” I shook my head. “But it doesn't make a difference. If Raza hadn't been there, I'd be dead and that would have been your fault. Maybe it wouldn't have been enough to call the Sluagh down upon you but it would have started a war with Twilight and you must have known that. You didn't try to save me because of any affection between us. You tried to save me to save yourself.”
“As you like,” Uisdean snapped. “But I did try.”
“If I were you, King Uisdean,” I lowered my face to the crystal, “I'd smother that evil woman in her sleep and put her poor ravaged spirit back where it belongs. Because if you don't-”
“You will not touch her, Seren!” Uisdean cut me off.
“Oh, that's not at all what I was going to say,” I smiled viciously. “I was going to say that if you don't kill your twisted queen, I know a dragon who will. And he will not be nearly as kind as you.”
I slashed my hand angrily over the ball so I wouldn't have to hear Uisdean's response. His image disappeared and I looked up at my father.
“Sorry about that,” I grimaced. “I hope there wasn't anything else you needed to say. You weren't about to declare war on Unseelie were you?”
“And give up the advantage of surprise?” Keir asked. “I think not.”
“Well, Uisdean will know that Raza is after him now,” Tiernan observed. “Or at least Rue.”
“I think that was pretty clear when Raza saved Seren's life,” Keir shrugged. “I'm not worried about Uisdean learning of Raza's anger, I'm worried about him learning of Raza's intentions towards the throne before we get our army to Craos-Teine.”
“Then perhaps we should hurry, Your Majesty,” Tiernan surprised me by saying.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I've never been to war. As an extinguisher, I've trained for battle, all kinds of battl
e, but generally not on a large scale. So I had no idea what moving an army entailed.
First, we had to decide on who we could spare to send to Raza. We couldn't send all our knights and leave Castle Twilight undefended. Then we had to decide whether Keir or I would be leading the army. I'd thought that was a simple decision since I'd already promised Raza that I would help him. But my father didn't see it that way. He said that he made a promise to help Raza and he should be leading his army. A king didn't send his daughter out to war without him. It just wasn't done.
I had to agree that sounded reasonable. But I couldn't just sit at home in Twilight, twiddling my thumbs while my father and Raza waged war against Uisdean. Could I?
It turns out that I could. But this brought up another problem. All of my Star's Guard wanted to join the army and avenge their fallen comrades, which I completely understood. But someone had to stay behind and guard me if I wasn't going. Of course Tiernan volunteered to stay behind, but Keir wasn't happy with just Tiernan and Cat to watch over me. He suggested that I appoint two new members to my Star's Guard and then they could stay with me. I suggested that he take a long walk off a short pier. I wasn't about to sully Iain and Digby's memories by replacing them immediately.
So instead, Keir selected a few knights himself and appointed them to guard me in my Star Guard's absence. This seemed to satisfy everyone but me. Frankly, I couldn't understand why men needed to be appointed to babysit me when I'd be staying behind, safe within the walls of Castle Twilight, where half of Keir's forces would remain. I said as much to Keir as he packed his war chest.
“You need a Guard for more than just protection,” Keir explained. “A princess must have an entourage.”
“Even when half her court has gone to war?” I huffed and fell back into Keir's armchair, positioned beside the fire.
