by Marilyn Lee
"What exactly do you want from me, Sherlyn? Tell me. I might be in the mood to give it to you."
I felt my face burn. Clearly, he knew of my past attraction to him. Nevertheless, past was the operative word. "I don't want anything from you," I said coolly. "You're the one who asked Am to ask me to join the two of you for dinner."
"Yes I did. And you agreed."
"Yes I did."
"So?"
"So I agreed, but only after she pushed for me to change my mind after I'd already refused," I pointed out.
"Why did she need to push you to come?"
He sounded surprised. The vain bastard. "Because I am so over my school girl crush on you it might never have happened." Surprisingly, I felt a large measure of relief finally having admitted to him that I had crushed on him. Well, I'd done a lot more than crush on him but that was all I was prepared to admit to; at least to him.
"Really? School girl crush was it?"
I inhaled slowly. "Okay. College girl crush. Satisfied?"
"Not really."
What the hell did that mean? "Too bad. Either way, it's ancient history."
"You're only thirty-one. How can anything with you be termed ancient history?"
Disbelief and amusement filled his voice. Damn him. "It's ancient history," I said firmly. "So don't go flattering yourself into thinking I want to jump your bones!"
He was silent for several minutes before speaking again. "Are you okay?"
The sudden softness in his tone confused me. "Am I okay? What do you mean?"
"I know you were in love with Don."
"Oh, yes," I said, feeling a brief rush of sadness at the renewed knowledge that I would never see him again.
He sighed. "I'm sure it still hurts, but I'm asking if the pain of his death has dissipated so that it's now at least manageable."
The unexpected concern I heard in his voice touched me and reminded me that although he'd only accompanied Amber to visit me once after Don's death, he'd sent those countless roses and spent tens of thousands of dollars on vacations for us. Yes, he could easily afford everything he'd done, but he hadn't had to do it.
I softened towards him. "Sometimes it still hurts, but yes I've learned to deal with it. It's manageable."
"Are you sure?"
Although I still had two pictures of Don in my apartment, I'd long since given up clutching them to my breast and crying myself to sleep. Don wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in grief and I'd done my best to move on. "Yes. Thanks for asking."
"Good. So I'd be flattering myself if I thought you might still be interested in me?"
"Yes, you would."
"Really? I doubt that."
Damn his overabundance of self-confidence. "I don't care what you doubt, Darkwater. It's a fact. I'm over you. Have been for years."
"I'm not in the mood to argue with you so let's get it out of the way and move on with the evening."
I frowned. "Get what out of the way?"
"This."
"What?"
He released his seatbelt, shifted in his seat, and turned to look at me. Suddenly the interior of the car seemed to shrink alarmingly.
Meeting his dark gaze, memories of the first time I'd seen him assailed my senses. At Amber's seventeenth birthday pool party, he'd worn a pair of white swimming trunks that showcased his big, muscular body. Back then, his long, dark brown hair extended past his broad shoulders and cascaded over his big chest. To my sixteen-year-old eyes, he was the most perfect man I'd ever seen—even in the presence of his four brothers. Although most of Am's other friends considered the younger Darkwater brothers far more attractive, I'd only ever had eyes for him.
When he'd turned to smile at me after giving Am her present, I fell into instant teenage lust that later turned into a twelve-year struggle not to fall deeper in love with him each time I saw him. He went out of his way to ensure I didn't see him nearly as much as I would have liked. Oh the pitiful years I spent just living for the times I'd get to see him—no matter how briefly.
No. No. Shake it off. Shake it off now. You are not going back to the days when you loved him and had nothing to show for it but misery and hopelessness. I tore my gaze from his and stared out the windshield, trying to will him to move back into his own damn space and stop sucking all the oxygen out of the air.
"This," he said softly, turned my face to his and brushed his warm lips against mine.
Although I experienced an immediate jolt of pleasure, I jerked away from him, pressing back against my seat. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm sure we both know what I'm doing but in case you're having some difficulty figuring it out, let me try it again."
I tensed. If he actually kissed me, he might manage to dredge up the feelings that had died when I fell in love with Don. And you are not going back to that sorry state again. "No."
"Yes." He brushed his lips against my ear. "This is long overdue between us."
"No," I said again, with even less conviction in my voice.
He's not a man to take no for an answer. "We're overdue for this and my patience is exhausted." Slipping a hand behind my head, he leaned closer and pressed his mouth against mine in a slow, hot kiss.
Oh…God! A knot of heat coiled in my belly. As it quickly rushed through me, I felt the ache of the old yearning for him struggling to return. I wanted to push him away. I returned his kiss instead.
Within seconds, I felt his tongue cajoling my lips apart.
Unable to resist a desire so long denied, I lost myself in the heated kisses and eager caresses that followed. Although I've never been a fan of giving it up too easily, I made no protests when I felt his fingers sliding down from my neck to cup and massage my breasts.
My nipples hardened in response and my stomach muscles clenched. I was in a mental fog. Was this really happening? Or was I lost in another fantasy?
All doubt was removed when, still burning my lips with feverish kisses, he deftly unbuttoned my blouse.
I trembled.
Feeling his big hands touching and caressing my cleavage made my pussy pulse. I'd never had sex in a vehicle with anyone but Don and I wanted to keep it that way. Didn't I? Stop him. Push him away or you'll find yourself back in the same miserable state you were in before you met Don. Stop him. Instead of listening to the screaming voice of reason, eager for the ultimate intimacy, I arched into him.
Dragging his lips from mine, he quickly undid my bra and freed my breasts.
I caught my breath and waited.
His warm, insistent lips caressed my neck before he licked a path down to my breasts.
Oh…yes!
After tonguing and kissing each nipple, he sucked the right one between his lips.
Oh, lord that felt good! Cupping my hands over the back of his head, I moaned softly to encourage him to continue his sweet attention.
Transferring his lips to my other breast, he slid his hand down my body and up the hem of my dress. Then…oh hell…I felt his fingers pushing aside my panties.
I shifted to make it easier for him to reach my heated passage.
He stroked and probed the outline of my slit before rubbing his thumb on my clit.
Oh, damn. Oh, damn. He set me on fire. As my pussy flooded and I realized I wanted him to fuck me then and there, I finally came to my senses.
I gasped, dragged my mouth from his, and reached down to push his hand away.
Leaning forward to recapture my lips, he resisted my efforts to dislodge his hand from my panties and actually stroked two fingers deep inside me.
For several gloriously insane moments, I rocked my hips, actually fucking myself on his thrusting fingers.
He pulled my tongue into his mouth, sucked it, and rubbed his thumb against my clit again.
And oh God. I hadn't felt a man's fingers inside me in well over two long, lonely years. To have Darkwater's hand there was beyond sweet. I shuddered and moaned.
He released my tongue and kissed a path to
my ear. "That's right, sweet. Come for me. Let yourself go and come for me."
Incapable of doing anything else, I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from crying out and came over his fingers.
He leaned close to kiss my neck. "Feel better?"
I did but I also felt embarrassed by what had just happened and where it had happened. When Don and I had been intimate in his SUV, we'd made love because we were in love. What had just happened with Darkwater had nothing to do with love. I pushed against his shoulders, renewing my efforts to dislodge his still probing fingers from my flooded pussy.
He continued thrusting inside me and rubbing against my clit.
Lord, his fingers were going to be a creamy mess and I would be an emotional wreck if I weren't careful. If he didn't stop, I might come again. "Darkwater! Please. Move your hand."
"Why? I like it just where it's at." He nipped my neck. "You like it there too. Don't you, sweet?"
Like didn't begin to cover the depth of my feelings at that moment. However, we were on a public street, not a dimly lit interstate. This had to stop. I shoved against his shoulders. "Please!"
When he finally removed his fingers, he gave my engorged clit another rubbing from his thumb that nearly made me come again.
"Oooh." I moaned.
Smiling, he sat back in his seat.
I took a deep breath. What the fuck! How dare he treat me like some whore off the street, pawing my pussy when anyone walking past might have seen me moaning and coming like a damned alley cat in heat?
"What do you take me for?" I demanded, struggling to refasten my bra and blouse.
"Here. Let me do that." He brushed my fingers away, leaned in for another quick kiss and sucked each of my nipples, and then calmly refastened my bra and blouse.
"I don't know what you take me for—"
"Don't you? Then I'll tell you. I take you for a woman with very sweet, kissable lips and rather large, natural breasts," he said. "Damn, Sherlyn. Your breasts are large and natural. Do you have any idea how rare natural breasts are these days?"
"All the women I know have their own breasts." Well, all but one. "You must have been dating the wrong type of women," I said, trying to get my emotions under control and my resolve back on track.
He laughed. "So Am's been telling me."
"And you did more than just kiss me," I reminded him.
He smiled.
"You had your fingers inside me!" And you made me come.
"So I did." He licked the fingers he'd slipped inside me before he turned to look at me. "Hmm. I like the way you taste when you've been sexually satisfied."
And I liked the way his fingers had felt thrusting inside and satisfying me. But I said nothing.
"I'll bet I'll like the way you feel even more."
I blushed and my stomach muscles clenched. "Don't hold your breath waiting to find out."
"Don't worry. I won't. However, just so there's no misunderstanding, if given the chance, I'll have more than my fingers inside you."
Oh God. Just the thought nearly made me wet.
"And if you think you enjoyed my fingers…"
My heart raced at his words. You cannot allow him anywhere near your bare pussy again. I shook my head. "Who spiked your water?"
He turned to lock his gaze on me. "Do I have to have drunk spiked water to like the idea of sex with you?"
What I wouldn't have given to hear that question when I was so in love with him, it hurt just to see him smile at another woman. And on the rare occasions when we were in the same place, at the same time, he was forever smiling at strange women who couldn't possibly want him as much as I did. "You never have before," I reminded him.
"Says who?"
I frowned. "Me." The woman on the receiving end of your countless years of cool indifference.
"And how would you know how I felt or what I did or didn't want?"
"I just do."
"Are you sure about that?"
After twelve long years of yearning for crumbs of his attention that he consistently denied me while raining them down on every skinny blond he stumbled across? "Yes I am."
"Why are you sure? Because I never acted on any interest I might have felt before now?"
I blinked. "Now you must think I've been drinking spiked water too. You've never been interested."
"Haven't I? Not even occasionally?"
"Not even occasionally. Not ever."
"And if I tell you that I might have been? Then what?"
"I wouldn't believe you, Darkwater."
"What do you mean you wouldn't believe me?"
"I wouldn't."
"Why the hell would I lie about it, Sherlyn?"
I parted my lips.
He held up a hand. "And before you imply that I might lie to land you in bed, we both know that wouldn't have been necessary then or now."
I blushed and said nothing. First, he fingered me to orgasm on a public street and now he wanted to make me feel bad? What had I ever seen in this guy worth loving besides his big, to die for masculine body and killer smile, and dark, sexy eyes?
Almost as if he sensed what I was feeling, he spoke in a softened voice. "I apologize. I shouldn't have said that."
"Then why did you?"
"Your pretending to know things about me you don't pissed me off," he admitted. "Not to mention your practically calling me a liar to my face when I've never lied to you."
He'd spoken to me so rarely there had been no occasion to lie. "If you were so damned interested why didn't you ever…"
"Why didn't I ever what?"
Tell me…hold me…kiss me…fuck me. "Why didn't you ever give any indication of it?"
He sighed. "I had my reasons."
"Such as?"
"In case you've forgotten, when we first met you were sixteen. I was twenty-five."
"And didn't even know I was alive."
He shrugged. "I would have been a sorry excuse for a grown man had I harbored a sexual interest in a sixteen-year-old girl."
I couldn't deny that. "Okay. Fine. And when I was twenty and older?"
"You're my sister's best friend. She'd have hated me had I…"
"Had you what?"
"Had I acted on any interest or feelings I might have felt and you ended up hurt."
I did end up hurt, you big jerk. I hurt for twelve long, damned years while you pretended I didn't exist. Now you expect me to believe you had any interest in me at all. "Honestly, Darkwater, I can't see you allowing something like that to stand in your way had you really been interested."
"You think you know me well enough to make that statement?"
I knew he was uncaring of my feelings for him and always had been. I nodded.
"You don't know me at all, Sherlyn."
"If I don't, that's because you never let me know you when I wanted to." When I ached to know you.
"When you wanted to? What does that mean?"
"It means the time when I wanted to know you is long past."
"Damn." He inhaled slowly and shook his head. "You sound as if you mean that."
I nodded. "I do."
"I know you're pissed, but are you sure about that?"
"I'm positive."
"I see. Well, never mind the past. This is a new day," he said and started the engine.
I studied his profile. "Where are you taking me?" I asked in a tight voice I struggled to keep from rising.
"No need to panic, Sherlyn. I'm taking you to dinner."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
"We have reservations. Remember? We've had them for nearly a week. And now that we've gotten the kiss out of the way, you won't have to spend the rest of the night wondering if I plan to kiss you when I take you home."
"I wasn't wondering any such thing." And I hadn't been because I'd never imagined he would kiss my cheek again. Forget those blistering kisses and thrusting his fingers uninvited into my pussy and making me come.
He shrugged. "All right. Then I wo
n't have to wonder if you were wondering about it. Now we both know what's going to happen when I take you home."
We do? "What?"
"I'm sure you heard me. By the way, are you on birth control?"
"That's none of your concern," I said after a moment of stunned silence.
"Actually, it is because when I take you home, I plan to thrust something a lot bigger and harder than my fingers inside you."
"What?"
"You're starting to sound like an echo chamber."
"What?"
He turned to look in my eyes.
I stared back, feeling my heartbeat quickening again. At this rate, I'd be hyperventilating soon.
"Apparently, I haven't made myself clear. So let me do that now. Just so there's absolutely no misunderstanding between us, when I take you home, I'm going to fuck you."
My heart thumped. "You're going to what?"
"I'm going to fuck you," he said again. "All damn night long."
Oh God. His words created a maelstrom of conflicting emotions in me. "You are not putting your fingers back inside me," I said, even as I ached with desire at the thought of him doing just that.
"It's not my fingers you need to worry about when we're alone again," he said calmly and merged into traffic.
Chapter Three
Sherlyn
The rest of the evening was surreal—at least for me. Darkwater behaved as if he hadn't fingered me to a climax in the car and hadn't declared his intention to fuck me all night long.
At the restaurant, we ordered and made small talk while waiting for our first course. While I nibbled at my food, he ate his with every sign of enjoyment. Each time I looked up, I found his dark gaze locked on me but he kept the conversation on impersonal topics.
After coffee, he pushed his cup away and looked across the table at me. "Would you like to dance?"
After the way he'd thrust his fingers into my pussy, there was no way I was going to slow dance with him in public. I shook my head. "No thanks."
"I would."
I shrugged. "I wouldn't."
He rose and stood at my side with his hand extended. "I want to dance with you."
I shook my head again.
He stood there in silence with his hand extended until I finally placed mine in his.
