by Seth Eden
“He was unlike any man that I’d ever met in my life or any man I anticipate I ever will meet. He taught Ricky and me how to be people that the world would enjoy, and even though he’s gone now, he will always be with us.”
I could feel emotions starting to well up in my throat and burn at my nose, so I stepped back from the microphone. Ricky patted my back as we climbed off the stage, and then I made my way back toward where I had been sitting next to Hannah. As I walked, I passed my mother, who reached out a hand. I looked at it and then at her. I wouldn’t say my mom and I were on good terms. She believed that the decision my father made was a good one, and had graciously accepted the Varasso’s hush money since then. That notwithstanding, everyone was looking at us, waiting for an emotional connection between a mother and daughter during a relative’s funeral. I reached out and grabbed her hand, and she smiled at me and kissed the back of my hand. I nodded at her, gently pulled my hand from hers, and scuttled back over to my seat. I sat down and slunk as low as I could in the pew. When is this going to be over?
When the service ended, I slyly slid outside and called myself a rideshare to get from the chapel to my grandmother’s estate for the visitation. I didn’t want to have to deal with this experience anymore, but my grandmother was older than grandfather and was exhausted from her grief and putting together the funeral, so I was committed to keeping my promise to mingle and keep the visitation afloat with Ricky’s help.
I was standing at the door, welcoming people in when Ricky’s truck pulled up, and he climbed out along with Gabriel and Alessandro. I despised how good Alessandro looked. He was wearing a crisp black suit and had his hair grease-slicked back over his head as opposed to the curly-all-over way he typically wore it. His eyes landed on me instantly, and even though I didn’t want to bear my neck, I had no choice. I turned my back to him and threaded into the sea of visitors, hoping to lose myself inside of the throng.
I spent the next hour playing the weirdest game of chess I’d ever engaged in. I was trying to avoid my more talkative family members while staying away from Alessandro at the same time, also while trying to make sure my grandmother was doing okay. I talked to more people in an hour than I had spoken to willingly within the past ten years. I sat and smiled through tales of my youth that I didn’t recognize interspersed with stories of who my grandfather was before he was my Pop Pop. I had to do stuff I’d never considered doing, like keeping track of hors d’oeuvres and thanking people whose first names I didn’t even know for coming and showing my family kindness. I watched my mom’s eyes get progressively wider each time someone handed my grandmother a check, knowing that she was next in line for their estate, and it disgusted me the way she was emanating one down, one to go.
“You know I’m not gonna let her do that, right?” I looked up from my cucumber and turkey bite and saw Ricky standing next to me with a beer in his hand. “Mom with grandma.”
I’d been avoiding Ricky as a result of trying to stay away from Alessandro and didn’t realize how nice he looked. He, too, was in a suit, but a dark blue, pinstripe suit with a gray shirt under it and a matching pocket square. His hair was typical, messy, and hanging around his head despite the patchy presence of grease being a clue of his attempt to do something nice with it. It was oddly comforting for a bit of his usual self to be peeking through his formal facade. Even throughout the years and dealing with the Varassos, he managed to hang onto himself.
I popped in the rest of my bite and shrugged. “You can’t really stop it, can you?”
“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m the best lawyer in Philly.” He slapped on his signature crooked smile. “I’m gonna convince grandma to put the rest of their estate in a formalized will, attaching most of it to a bond in mom’s and our names with restrictions that not more than a certain dollar amount can be pulled at any time. We’re gonna meet about it after she’s recovered from all of this a little bit.”
“Wow. That’s a great idea. Can she donate some of it, too? I know she’d like that.”
“That’s an awesome idea.” Ricky pulled out his phone, made a note to himself, and then put it away. “You should join us.”
“If I have any say over it, I’ll be back in California by then,” I retorted.
Ricky grumbled. “You can’t stay longer?”
I had intentionally refrained from booking a flight home just yet on the unlikely chance that I’d need to stay longer than the weekend. I knew Ricky had a good handle on making sure my grandparents’ affairs were well sorted legally, but he wasn’t good at the emotional support stuff. I had marginal faith in my mother to make sure my grandmother was doing okay, but only because she’d be spending the rest of my grandmother’s life buttering her up to get the biggest chunk of her will. I had to hope that Ricky really could make sure she couldn’t gigolo her way into my grandma’s pocket. As long as she seemed to be doing well emotionally and Ricky was confident that he could deal with the estate, I’d like to be on a flight home within forty-eight hours.
I looked over at Ricky. “Come on. I mean, you know I don’t want to be here.”
“You can’t keep running from us,” Ricky said. “Me, mom, the Varassos. Being in California doesn’t make this not part of your past. No one’s asking you to do any of the work, but whether you like it or not, we all love you and are always going to be a part of your life.”
He raised his eyebrow at me, looked directly into my eyes to cement his statement, and then turned and walked away, leaving me dumbstruck and frustrated. I didn’t ask for any of this, so why would I accept it? I wasn’t running from anything, I was only not acknowledging something that had never existed for me. That didn’t make me a bad person, it made me a realist.
“He’s right, you know.” I jumped a little, sick of people sneaking up on me. I turned around and my heart sank. Standing there with a pair of champagne glasses, one outstretched toward me, was Alessandro. “Looks like I finally cornered you.”
4
Alessandro
I immediately hated the words as they left my mouth. I wasn’t attempting to corner Willow, per se, but it was clear she’d been avoiding me all afternoon. I didn’t have any intentions of trying to convince her to take me back or anything, but I knew I owed her an apology for more than a couple of things, and I didn’t know how long I had to give them to her.
It was partly my fault that coming back to Philadelphia made her so uncomfortable when that should have been the last thing on her mind while she was trying to celebrate her grandfather’s life. Willow and her grandfather had always been close. Just as she had said during her farewell words at the funeral, he’d become a surrogate father to her after her dad went to jail to protect my family. Back when we broke up and she tried to get me to pick between her and the life, I’d taken it personally. She knew what family meant to me, meant to all of us. How could she suggest that I leave it all behind for one silly relationship? I was angry at her for a long time, but once my dad died, everything shifted into perspective. She’d lost her dad, too, and it was worse because her dad had a choice in the matter. I’d reject that life, too.
Willow took the glass of champagne from my hand, and I was taken aback at how much more stunning she looked than what I remembered. I’d convinced myself that six years hadn’t been that much time and that people’s appearances don’t change that drastically after they graduate from high school, but it was as if I was looking at an entirely new person. Her cerulean eyes still sparkled like a sea in sunrise, and her freckle peppered cheeks still puffed out slightly more than the rest of her slender face, but she stood with a new level of confidence that I didn’t recognize at all. She was wearing a black dress that flared out from the waist and ended below her knees. Her dark brown, layered hair framed her face perfectly, and she had a set of small, white pearls dangling from her neck.
How is she so beautiful? I thought to myself.
The only thing worse than how unbelievable she looked was how she w
as looking at me with the same heartbroken expression she’d looked at me with the day we parted ways. There was no anger, no malice, only an expression tapped straight from the tree of disappointment, like she couldn’t believe, after everything we’d been through, that I’d let her down.
“Sorry,” I said immediately. “I know you’re busy, and I know you probably don’t want to talk to me.”
Willow shifted uncomfortably. “I have to mingle.”
She disappeared in the blink of an eye into the throngs of people ambling their way around the estate. Strike one. I might have expected it wasn’t going to be that easy. Funerals weren’t easy already. I of all people should know. I hated funerals and everything they stood for. Not including the fact that when you’re an active member of an underground organization, funerals were typically par for the course, I’d had to attend both of my parents’ funerals in the past ten years, and that was two too many times for any person. I distinctly remembered when I lost my mom, Willow was with me every step of the way. We hadn’t yet admitted to having any feelings for one another, but even then, I think I knew. I remember panicking and not knowing how to handle the hundreds of people walking up to me, hugging me, kissing me, apologizing to me, offering me condolences in every shape, form, and fashion; I was overwhelmed.
Willow walked up to me, grabbed my hand, and held it. She didn’t say a word, and she didn’t try to push me to do one thing or the other. She simply and silently said, “I’m here for you.” It cracked the hard shell I’d built around me and made me realize that Willow had always been my rock. I was a scarecrow, and she was the rod holding me up. I never would have made it through that without her.
When my dad died, it made me feel like a piece of crap that I almost missed her more than I missed him. I would absent-mindedly hold out my hand, expecting her to grab it the same way she did the first time. To stand next to me unwaveringly and be my rod, but she wasn’t there, and I had no one to blame for that but myself.
I made my way over to where Gabriel was being a wallflower near the door and stood next to him.
“Swing and a miss, huh?” he asked.
“She needs some time.” I was hoping that was true. My heart was still racing in my chest. Even after six years, I was still head over heels.
“Maybe you should kidnap her.” Gabriel started laughing like he’d made a groundbreaking joke, but all I could think about was Luca giving him a right hook and Molly giving him a left. His face went fearful in an instant. “Don’t tell Luca I said that.”
“Yeah, I don’t want to watch him murder you, so I’m not going to tell him the joke you made about him and his wife.”
Anytime Willow made eye contact with me, I lifted a hand and gave her a smile. I wished I could do the same thing for her that she did for me during my mother’s funeral. I could see in her eyes that she was stressed, and she didn’t stress easily. I watched as she walked over to one of the waiters and started to engage in conversation with him. Eventually, the conversation got tenser and tenser, and their voices slowly started to get louder and louder.
I walked over to where they were arguing and stood next to Willow.
“Look around you,” Willow barked. “Does it look like I only expected fifty people? I said five-hundred!”
“I have a copy of all the paperwork, including what your grandmother signed, and it says fifty,” the waiter responded, waving a paper in her face.
“When you first walked in here and saw that there were clearly more than fifty people here, why wouldn’t you say something? You expected all of these people to split fifty hors d’oeuvres?”
The waiter took a menacing step toward Willow. “Look.”
I stepped forward, pulling my shoulders back, and imposing my entire six-foot form. “I really suggest you calm down.”
The waiter receded a bit. “Um, sir…”
Willow stuck out an arm. “It’s fine, Sandro, I’ve got it.”
My skin prickled as my name left her lips, and I stood down as she asked. “What can I do to help?”
Willow shook her head. “I don’t need your—I don’t need help.”
I grabbed her hand and pulled, just enough to pull her gaze over to me. “Let me help you like you helped me.”
I looked into Willow’s eyes and could see her processing my request. She glanced over at Ricky, who was standing dead center in a group of fifteen people, and then looked back at me. “The catering company only brought fifty hors d’oeuvres for this entire group of people.”
“You only ordered—” I shot the waiter a look and he shut up instantly.
“I don’t know what to do. People are starving, and there’s supposed to be more than enough.”
I motioned toward her grandmother. “Go, be with your grandma. I’ll take care of it.” Willow looked conflicted. I rolled my eyes. “I won’t use my gun. I won’t use my wallet.”
Next to me, I saw the waiter rigidify. I wouldn’t use my gun, but it wouldn’t hurt if he knew that I had one.
Willow looked at him and then back at me. “Promise.”
I squeezed her hand, still clasped in mine. “I promise, Will.”
She hesitated for a moment, and I had to bite back a smile as I watched her eyes scan me up and down. Eventually, she pulled her hand from mine. She ran a hand through her hair, her nervous tell, and then twirled and made her way toward her grandmother.
As soon as she was out of sight, I locked eyes with Gabriel and nodded him over. He started to make his way across the room as I turned to face the waiter.
“So listen, what’s it gonna take to get the appropriate amount of food here?”
The waiter’s eyes were darting all around until Gabriel closed in on him, standing over him with his arms crossed. “S-sirs, it’s not possible. We only brought enough food to prepare the ordered quan—”
Gabriel cracked his neck to one side. “Uh-oh. You’re about to tell him no, aren’t you?”
The waiter eyed Gabriel nervously. “Um.”
Gabriel leaned in, his awkward, non-intimidating demeanor playing perfectly into our tactic. “He doesn’t like being told no. Especially when it comes to that woman. Trust me, bud. You’re gonna wanna get some food here immediately.”
The waiter exchanged glances between Gabriel and me, with beads of sweat dripping down his face. “L-let m-me see what I c-c-can do.”
I tapped him on the shoulder. “Good man.”
Within fifteen minutes, a pack of waiters, similarly dressed to the one I’d spoken to, were walking into the manor with trays of food in their hands, more than enough to feed the people present at the visitation.
I approached the head waiter and put my hand on his shoulder, and he jumped. “See? You were more than capable of getting it here. Great job. How much is this gonna run us?”
“Um, my boss sent over a copy of the original invoice, which does show charges for five-hundred people.” I was fully expecting the waiter to pee in place at any moment. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I gave him one of my signature, menacing smiles. “Hey, hey, hey. No need to be so nervous. We all make mistakes. Have your boss send the invoice to the estate like we were planning, and…” I looked around and made sure Willow was nowhere to be found, and then slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out a hundred dollars. “If she asks, I didn’t tip you. If she tries to give you more money, take it, and maybe all of our conversations stay between the two of us. You two only talk business, clear?”
The waiter took the bill and quickly slid it into the pocket on his shirt. “Yes, sir.”
The rest of the visitation went off without any more problems. I didn’t try to approach Willow again while she was busy hosting. I didn’t want to add to her stress, so I kept myself occupied in a corner until people started to leave. I helped Ricky say goodbye to everyone, and then he left to go help his grandmother get comfortable after the day’s events.
The manor was finally emptied out apart from Gabriel a
nd me. He was sitting in a chair with his head falling to one side, dozing in and out. I took off my suit jacket and draped it over him before making my way through the manor halls, out into the back courtyard. The sun was descending toward the horizon, and the sky was a kaleidoscope of oranges, reds, and purples. My gaze followed the cobblestone path up to the marble fountain in the middle of the courtyard. A grin crept up without my asking it to. Willow was sitting on the edge of the fountain, running her fingers through the water, and watching the sunset.
There was a colorful, verdant garden surrounding the fountain that filled the air with a mixture of sweet smells. It flooded my mind with memories of sitting out on the fountain, holding hands, and talking until the sky was dotted with stars. It was Willow’s favorite place to be at her grandfather’s house.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and meandered up the path. I walked the long way around the fountain and moved to sit on the fountain’s edge next to Willow. We sat in total silence until I heard soft sniffles. I looked over, and tears were streaming down her face.
I put my hand over hers. “I’m so sorry. I know you were close.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t even come and visit him once after I left. He probably thought I hated him.”
“No, he didn’t,” I assured. “He used to tell me all about how you were a big deal in L.A. He’d go on and on about his famous granddaughter.”
She looked over at me. “Really?”
“Hand to god. He, uh…” I huffed out an awkward chuckle. “He still thought we were together, so he’d ask me how you were doing. Ricky would fill in, but I always made sure to tell him that you loved him. I knew that was true.”
