by Seth Eden
If there was a God, he had flat out abandoned me. Why would he convince me that coming to Philadelphia was a better idea than sending flowers and my love? Why would he let me believe that I could survive a few extra days here? Catch up with some friends, spend time with Ricky, take a break from work. Certainly, that was doable? Alessandro could be avoided, and if he couldn’t be, he could absolutely be resisted if push came to shove. I was a strong and resilient person. Right?
Wrong.
I wasn’t meant to be in a room with Alessandro while he recalled good times and whispered that he loved me in my ear. I wasn’t meant to resist his touch, which may as well have been a branding iron for the way it burned across my skin and left traces of its presence in its wake. Alessandro pressed his lips to mine, and any strength or resilience that I had decided to take a spectator’s approach to my life. They left me the same way God did, to fend for myself in a battle-royale of Alessandro’s wooded cologne and breathless kisses. The sword and shield I’d prepared for the battle evaporated like smoke in my hands when he turned me to face him outright, pressing his body firmly against mine and keeping his palm settled firmly on my neck while his tongue licked out, knocking on my lips and asking my tongue out to play.
Why couldn’t I resist? Why couldn’t I pull away? Why was I lacing my fingers into his velvet curls and dragging him even closer to me, desperate and wanton, so close there was no space between us? Alessandro was doing to me what Alessandro had always done to me—pure, reckless destruction. Out-of-control destruction that fettered into him as he smoothed his hands over my backside and under my thighs to lift me from my feet. I kept a tight hold of him, begging that everything that existed outside of that moment leave us be. I didn’t want to think about anything other than Alessandro. I didn’t want to be anything else at that moment besides someone he wanted, someone who wanted him. My inhibitions took an empty seat next to my strength and resilience to enjoy the show.
Powerfully, he used one arm to keep me aloft while he used the other to knock my suitcase to the side, sending all of its contents spilling out onto the bedroom floor. As much as that was going to bother me later, at the moment, I couldn’t care less. Alessandro spun me around to guide me carefully down to the comforter on the bed and continued to hover above me, never letting his lips leave mine. My curious fingers started to pull at the buttons to his suit coat, unfolding them from one another, and pushing the article away. Alessandro’s broad shoulders had always been one of my favorite features of his physical form, and I reveled at the way they fought against the white button-up to be freed. I worked the buttons of it next, wanting them to be out of the way as much as they wanted to be freed.
Alessandro’s right hand curled its way behind my neck and tugged at the string that kept my bikini top in place. It loosened before giving way, allowing his left hand to pull it free of my breasts and throw it aside. He kissed my jawbone, and my neck, and my collarbone, and down my chest until he could work his mouth over one of my sensitive spots. I could feel it peaking with his tongue flipping it around. Alessandro was skilled with his tongue. He always had been. My hands took hold of the back of his head as sounds escaped my lips without my permission. His fingers slid a trail downward and under by bikini bottom. I arched my back as they found their destination, my most sensitive spot, already reacting to his touch. I shook with anticipation under Alessandro’s ministrations, my body begging him to do more.
And he met my silent demand. He parted me below, allowing his hand to freely glide along, and poke at my entrance. I pulled at his shirt until he let out a burning chuckle against the flesh of my chest and pulled away. “So impatient.”
He finished undoing the buttons, his eyes painting me over. My body burned under his gaze. I turned my head away, feeling overexposed for some reason, but Alessandro’s hand tipped under my chin to bring my eyes back to him. “Don’t look away from me.”
He pulled his button-up off along with the white tank top underneath it, dropping them both over the side of the bed. He really was a sight to behold. Looking at him, I got a sudden sensation of deja vu. Not for the times we’d been together before, but for all of the feelings I had that this happened more recently than I knew to be true. How many times had he slunk into my dreams? How many times did I wake up reaching out for him, only to find that he wasn’t really there? My body had always yearned for Alessandro; it never stopped. If I came out of this experience unscathed, I’d be lucky. I couldn’t see the other side of the storm smirking down at me, belying the warmth sated behind his eyes.
He hooked my right leg and lifted it up to his bare torso. He pressed his lips to a spot on my shin and kissed it so passionately, I got jealous. Without turning his attention from my leg, a hand moved to the left side of my hip to grab and untie my bikini bottoms. I wanted to believe we were about to cross the point of no return, but in reality, that was probably when he first walked into the house. He undid the tie and then caressed my stomach on the way over to the other tie to unstring it, as well. With a single finger, he drew the bottoms from me, discarding them overboard. He started to scan me again, his bottomless, obsidian eyes crawling from my head to my toes.
He lowered himself down, positioning his head between my thighs. He tossed me one, final glance before he dipped in. The sensation of his tongue skating over me sent a chill up my spine to eject my head into the stratosphere. So many sensations I’d forgotten I once knew came rushing at me all at once. My knees angled toward one another, and I whimpered and bucked beneath the pleasure. My brain was rapidly trying to sort out the muddle that now existed where my logical thoughts used to be. Where did the sexual feelings stop, and the overwhelming love of having Alessandro so close to me again begin?
“Alessandro.” His name sang across my lips, and his mouth reacted with added fervor below.
It was better than I remembered. His tongue was following a carefully plotted out map, knowing exactly which cities to stop at before continuing on to the next destination. My body barely gave me any warning. My head keeled back, my hips pushed forward, and fireworks went off. I left my shell for a moment, floating freely above myself before colliding back with my bones. My legs shook, and Alessandro kissed and nibbled the insides of my thighs. Each spot held the feeling, leaving behind the impression that his lips were in multiple places at once.
He snaked his way up my body, rushing his lips to mine with my taste lingering on them. His hands moved between us as we kissed, working to pull himself free of what was left of his clothing, kicking it off and leaving him bare on top of me. My nails clawed over his back, threatening to leave marks of my presence behind later. He moved his lips to a spot on my neck to suck, and his excited length kissed my waiting passage. Time slowed as he traversed, pushing himself inside. The sound that rumbled against my neck was animal, and I let out a moan of my own to match.
I was home again after being away for years. I had only ever been with Alessandro. We lost our virginity to one another when we were sixteen, foolishly in the back of his dad’s Escalade, though young me thought it was perfect. It was Alessandro, after all, and when it came to him, there was little that I didn’t think was perfect. Though we’d proceeded to take every available opportunity to be together from that point on, the night of our senior prom, Alessandro checked us into a five-star hotel room. He covered it in white rose petals, lit dozens of candles, and told me that we were going to do it again, the way it should have been done the first time. We made love again and again until the sun was rising. It would have been perfect was it not for his suddenly getting called away to aid in some family business. It was that moment that I knew I could never be happy with Alessandro as long as his allegiance was to his family and their business over me. I could have married him right then and there, but there was a big, Varasso-family-sized wall between us. One neither of us knew how to scale. That was the last time I had been with Alessandro or anyone.
I pushed the memories away, not wanting to have anything in my mind but t
he Alessandro right in front of me at that moment. I took his face and brought it to mine. He stared down at me, his eyes piercing and jaw clenched. He moved into me until he was sheathed entirely before pulling back. His movements were a drawl. A boat rocking gently on a calm sea, moved by wind alone. I took in the sight of him enjoying me until my body was so much ablaze that all I could do was close my eyes to keep myself from falling. Alessandro buried his head against my chest, and his hands wrapped around my back. In and out, in and out, until I was no longer certain how much of me was still me anymore. I was offering every fleck of my skin to Alessandro in exchange for the glorious pleasure until my head started to haze over again. I shuddered and exploded with Alessandro’s voice rumbling against me as he growled.
With me gripping tightly to him, he rolled until we had switched places, and it was now me on top of him. I sat up, fitting our pieces together like the best jigsaw puzzle, my hips shaking as the girth housed within me sawed against a spot that left a ringing in my ears. I started to roll my hips while Alessandro’s hands danced over my stomach and, eventually, up to rest on each of my breasts. My head was thrown back, and my movements were quickening. I no longer had control over the way my body moved. It was on a course of its own, and I was along for the ride. It wanted Alessandro as deep inside of me as he could go, and it wouldn’t stop until it had accomplished its mission.
We turned the page from sensual to wild. Alessandro’s hands squeezed and twisted and flicked while my hips rode and ground. If I ever stopped, it would be too soon. I only wanted to continue feasting on Alessandro until I was full, and I didn’t think the limit existed.
“Ah,” Alessandro grunted. “Baby.”
I knew the signs well. I kept up my pace until I felt his hips buck and lifted myself just in time to see white splash across his abs. I dropped my head down to his chest, and we sat breathing in and out in unison. His hands came to rest on my back. I focused my attention on the small circles he was making until my eyes were too heavy to keep open, and I allowed them to drift shut.
When I awoke, it was with the golden sun of the morning on my face. For the first time in many mornings, when I moved, searching for Alessandro, I found him. His chest was slowly rising and falling beneath my hand, and my head was nestled against his shoulder. My muscles screamed as I stretched, not used to the workout they received the night prior. It had been six years since I had been with anyone, and it was evident in the way my everything was protesting.
“Willow?” Alessandro shifted and glanced down at me, and when his eyes met mine, a smile brighter and wider than anything I’d seen from him crossed his face. My skin rose into thousands of goosebumps at the sight. “I half expected that to all be a dream.”
“Me too,” I responded, happily obliging when he pulled me into a kiss.
“I missed you so much.” His fingers laced in my hair and massaged my head gently.
“I missed you too.” I kissed his pec. “I can’t believe that happened.”
“You and me both. When you didn’t kick me out right away, I was like, okay, Sandro. Remain calm. We’ve been waiting six years.’”
I laughed. “Really? I’m sure when you were sleeping with other women, you weren’t thinking about me.”
Alessandro’s expression turned stone serious. “I didn’t sleep with any other women.”
My chest tightened. “You didn’t?”
“No, I had no interest. If it wasn’t you, I didn’t want it.” He said the words sincerely, like they weren’t going to run me over like a breakaway rail car. “I meant what I said, Willow. I love you. It’s only been you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I honestly hadn’t considered anything past last night. I was so happy to be with Alessandro again that I didn’t even consider the implications of what I was allowing. Our circumstances hadn’t changed, at least not that I was aware of. “Sandro, I—”
His lips were on mine before I could get any additional words out. He took the wind from my sails every time. Against Alessandro Varasso, I was powerless. “Don’t say anything else right now. Please, let me take you to dinner before you leave.”
Part of his phrasing was actually slightly painful to hear—that he knew I was going to leave. That I was questioning it myself was concerning; of course, I was going back to California. My life was there, and I’d already decided there was nothing for me in Philly. I saw the sincerity and pleading in his eyes, and it opened my heart.
“Okay, Sandro.”
His smile grew. “Okay. Well, what about—”
The sound of a ringtone broke the sweet stillness around us. I recognized that it wasn’t mine, and Alessandro was already moving to climb out of the bed. I was getting deja vu again, remembering that night back in the hotel room. We’d woken up together in a very similar fashion, everything was wonderful, and then his phone rang. I tried not to accept the little voice inside me telling me this was the same thing.
He fished his phone out of his suit jacket pocket and looked at it. His eyebrows turned down in confusion. “It says it’s an unknown number?” He clicked to answer it. “Hello?” Suddenly, his eyes went wide like he’d seen a ghost. “You shouldn’t be calling me.” He glanced at me quickly and then away again. “I… I’m with Willow.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, she’s here for a few days.”
Who was he talking to? It sounded like whoever it was knew me, but who would both know me and shock Alessandro so much?
“Shit, that’s not good. All right, let me get dressed and get a hold of Luca. He should be back by now. Yeah, I will. Bye.”
Alessandro turned around and looked at me, and I could tell in his face that he was about to say exactly what I didn’t want to hear. He knelt on the floor next to the bed, grabbed my hand, and kissed it.
“You have to go?” I asked.
“I’m so sorry, really. It kills me, but that was Marco. He’s in WPP. Apparently, he got a threatening postcard, and no one is even supposed to know where he is, only Ricky.”
I might have expected that Ricky was more mixed up in all of it than he alluded to. Marco was in the Witness Protection Program? Why?
Alessandro kissed my hands several times. “He’s in trouble. I…” He stared up at me sadly, and I could tell he was conflicted.
“Go.” I pulled my hand from his. “I’ve always known your priorities.”
Alessandro looked like the words crushed him. “I’ll call you about dinner, okay?”
I didn’t respond. Alessandro stood up and kissed me on my forehead. “I love you, Willow. I hate that I have to go.”
He collected his clothes and left the room, and I cursed myself for landing in the same terrible position I’d been in all those years ago.
10
Alessandro
I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life. I saw the way Willow’s heart broke as she realized I had to leave. Last night was one of the best I’d ever had, if not number one. Waking up next to her again was the greatest feeling in the world. If I wasn’t still madly in love with her before, I certainly was now. It was worth waiting to be with her again. I only wished that I hadn’t missed out on those last six years. I allowed my mind to wander to where we might be if I’d chosen her instead. I was already ready to get down on one knee before we broke up, so we’d be married for sure. We’d probably be on baby number two, having made the first halfway by accident after we chose an extended honeymoon.
I walked away from her again. Let her down again. Fuck my family for being so messed up. I believed they’d just cost me everything.
My phone rang, trilling loudly over my car’s bluetooth. I pressed the green answer button, sadly watching the scenery leading to Willow’s family’s home disappear behind me. “Luca.” Even I didn’t recognize the roughness in my voice. It had been softer, more natural since arriving at Willow’s yesterday. The man that I was with her, the man I really was, wasn’t built to survive my family’s busine
ss. “Where are you?”
“I’m at the airport about to get in a car. Where are you?”
“I’m in my car headed back to the house,” I replied.
“You were already gone from the house this early in the morning?” Luca asked.
“I…um. I was with Willow.” Luca let out a little scoff. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I had a strange feeling that would happen. Look, though. This isn’t becoming a thing again, is it?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
Luca sighed. “We can’t afford to be another man down, so you can’t run off and fall in love with someone and think it’s gonna be fine.”
“You did that,” I spat back.
“My situation was different.”
“Why, because you kidnapped yours?” Luca fell quiet, and I knew I’d fucked up. “Sorry, I just…It seemed like Willow was starting to come around, and then I had to leave.”
“Family first, Sandro,” Luca growled, and I felt a tinge of the irritation Willow must have felt every time I said it to her. “That’s not a problem, is it?” He was developing my dad’s nasty attitude at an exponential rate. Were it not for Molly in his life, I’d fear he’d fall entirely.
“No,” I said. “I left, didn’t I?”
“Good. What’s going on? You said it was an emergency.”
“It is, but we shouldn’t talk over the phone. I’ll meet you in your office in thirty minutes.”
“Fine,” Luca said. “See you soon. Bye.”
I didn’t get to say bye before the line went dead.
My mind wandered far from where I was tooling along in my car back to my family’s estate. I thought about everything that my brain would allow me to focus on. I thought about my older brother and their wives and children. Did they have any idea that their bliss was fleeting? What happened if one of our enemies decided that taking our father out wasn’t enough? What if they didn’t think our retaliation was equal to theirs? What if they were prepared to fight a war continuously until all of us were gone? They were skilled in torture. Did my brothers really think they would never go for their families? What if they kidnapped Anna or Antonio? What if they went after Amanda. Hell, if someone tried to hurt Molly, Luca would light all of Pennsylvania and watch it burn, happily.
