by Seth Eden
I dropped the notepad and flipped back to relax against the built-in backrest, closing my eyes. The sweet vanilla scent from the candles swirled around me while the epsom salt continued to pull my muscles into total relaxation, and I didn’t fight when I started to doze. My body had a pretty good internal understanding of what was good for sleep and what wasn’t, so I trusted it to tell me when it was time to get out and move to my bed.
I’d nearly slipped from consciousness when I heard another thump. That time, it sounded a bit closer. The houses on my block were close, but not so close that I should hear the antics from one lot over. Deciding it was time to investigate, I climbed out of the tub, pulled the silk robe hanging on the back of the door around myself, and slipped from the bathroom.
The bathroom opened up directly into my bedroom, and I could clearly see that nothing was out of place, even with it covered in the shadows of darkness. The light from the kitchen was illuminating the lower floor, so I crept my way down the stairs and into the living room. Everything seemed in place there, as well, and I was already reserving myself to the idea that I was hearing things. I walked into my kitchen, and when I wasn’t met with any unusual sights, I swore at myself for cutting my bath short. Either my mind was giving me ghost sounds in my drowsy stupor or what I was hearing wasn’t in my house.
I turned around, and right when I did, I heard a rapid series of knocks on my door. It made me jump a little, but Gabriel’s voice followed. “Stacy? Stace!” He sounded panicked. “Are you in there?”
“I’m coming!” I called back. I giggled, thinking he was just that starved to get into me after our confession earlier.
I started for the door but stopped behind the couch to undo my robe. If any neighbors were in the right place at the right time, they’d get a show, but that was fine with me. I’d never been shy about my body. I walked over to the door and reached out for the handle. My fingers curled around the silver handle, and then a click sounded off near my right ear, followed by the cold press of steel against my lower back.
“Stacy!” Gabriel bellowed, pounding his hands against the door. “Let me in!”
“How lucky,” an unknown voice growled behind me, and the freezing feeling against my back moved even lower. “You’ve unwrapped a perfect canvas for me and even invited an audience.”
I couldn’t bring myself to scream. Maybe it was the barrel against my back or the shame washing over me. I’d allowed myself to get caught up in Gabriel, even knowing what I knew. I made it like a movie again. I let myself believe that love was enough to protect me, that as long as Gabriel and I wanted to be together more than anything, it would create some sort of invisible forcefield around me. Or maybe I’d convinced myself that I was already a mafia dame. That there were watchful eyes standing guard at Gabriel’s request. I’d notice them following me around one day and scream at him for not trusting me to take care of myself. The happily ever after I’d somehow deluded myself into thinking I’d achieved was one that didn’t exist in the real world. I gambled with my life, and I was about to lose.
“Stacy! Stacy!” Gabriel was pounding against the door. Finally, his fist slammed even harder, and the next voice I heard was unrecognizable. It was Gabriel, but it wasn’t at the same time. It was that viciousness that he feared lay just beneath his surface—the ghost of his dad bubbling out. “I swear on my dead father, if you hurt her, you’ll be sorry.”
Out of the corner of my eye, a second figure stepped out of the shadows, just as I could hear what sounded like Gabriel trying to break down my door. I hated opting for the stronger metal material at that moment. Being a single woman living alone, I’d needed something more resilient for the very reason of not being broken down easily.
“We’d better hurry,” the second body said. “He’ll find a way in, sooner or later.”
The banging of my living room window proved that was true, but the continued pounding at my door told me that Gabriel wasn’t alone. I hoped I’d live to see who he brought with him. I side-eyed the figure next to me, with his broad shoulders and unkempt goatee and hair. He slid a pair of black gloves over his hands as my reinforced home served to harm me where it was meant to protect. The figure next to me cocked his fist while the one behind me slung a single, thick arm around my bare waist to hold me in place. The fist made hard contact with my eye, and when the second one flew at me, I blacked out.
20
Stacy
When I finally came to, it was to the sound of a loud beep, pulsing against my head and rattling me down to the bones with each rhythmic chirp. Its screaming sound was second only to the overwhelming smell of bleach and other sterile smells. I blinked my eyes open, and even that sent jolts of pain screeching across my face. For an extended moment, I just stared up at the tan popcorn ceiling tiles. All attempts to count them resulted in them blurring against one another. The more I tried to focus, the more my head hurt until finally, my stomach lurched.
“I’m gonna be sick.” I barely recognized my voice and nearly jumped when a bucket appeared in front of my face. I followed the arm holding it over to my mom. My stomach settled at the sight of her. “Mama?”
My mom’s eyes were red and swollen from what I could only guess were hours of crying. “Hi, baby.”
I pushed against the pain to turn my head in the other direction to my dad’s waiting smile. “Hey there, Stace.”
“What happened?” I grumbled.
My mom frowned. “We were hoping you could tell us.”
I dropped into silence as my mind wheeled back over the past day. I remembered Gabriel coming over to my house for ice cream and talking to him for hours. I remembered him taking me to the hill and watching the city. I remembered him telling me he loved me and dropping me off at home so he could go and check in with his family. My head started to scream as I attempted to focus on what happened next. I had blurry, barely-there memories of my bath and getting out to investigate some sounds, but the rest was like trying to see through a broken viewfinder. There was darkness and pain and voices I didn’t know, but there was no clear picture. Everything felt so far from me, and I didn’t know how to make sense of it.
“I don’t know.”
I wanted to ask a question, but I didn’t know what to ask. “What happened?” I asked again.
My mom’s already worried expression etched into even deeper concern. “Concussion,” she murmured.
I searched my brain for that word, but the barking beep near my ear was distracting and demanded my attention. My eyes flew around the room, searching for the source until they landed on a machine near the corner of the bed I was laying on. It had a million flashing lights and numbers I couldn’t decipher, and it worsened my headache when I tried.
“What’s that?”
My mom looked over at the machine and then back at me. “An EKG machine, sweetie.” She touched my head lightly. “Do you know your name?”
I retreated to my brain again. For a moment, I saw a woman in a mental mirror. The image was blurry at first, like a picture I might have drawn when I was six. Slowly, the hair came into focus, long and blonde, the blue eyes, the pink lips. I recognized her. Did I know her name?
“Stacy,” I murmured out. “Stacy Everett.” I looked at my mom, considering her face for hints that I’d gotten the answer right. A forced out smile suggested I had. “Where am I?”
“The hospital,” she replied. “The police called us to say someone had broken into your home.”
“Did you try to fight them?” my dad asked. “We’ve told you a million times that material things aren’t important. We could have bought new stuff. It wasn’t worth risking your life.”
“Carl, don’t lecture her.”
My dad gasped a little and then smiled. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
“A break-in?” I thought back on it, and it was like someone was slowly spinning that blurry memory into view.
I heard thumps in my house and went to investigate. I didn’t find anything, but t
hen Gabriel was there, knocking on the door. He sounded afraid. I remembered the two men; one of them held a gun to my back while the other put on gloves. Gabriel couldn’t get in, but he knew that he needed to. Did…did he know they would be there?
“What is it, honey?” my mom asked. “Do you remember something?”
Everything clicked painfully into place. Whoever attacked me did so as a result of Gabriel’s world. Whatever had happened, he’d been alerted that they were coming, but he’d gotten to me too late. They were already inside. They were waiting for him to get there.
My mind tripped backward over the details my mom had given me and landed on police. “Did someone call the police?”
“Someone must have, but when they got there, you were alone,” my mom said. “We thought maybe a neighbor, but no one lives in the houses on either side of you, and the neighbors across the street said they don’t know anything.”
It had to have been Gabriel. Did he just leave me alone? I tried not to be upset at the thought. He couldn’t be there when the police showed up. What happened between him and those thugs? Was he okay? “My phone.”
My dad bowed his head sadly. “It was among the items stolen. I’m sorry, baby.”
My stomach twisted into knots. I had no way of getting a hold of Gabriel. The best shot I had was the number on his paperwork, but I had no access to that until I was out of the hospital. “I wanna go home.”
My mom rubbed my head. “Oh, I know, sweetie. It’s probably best for you to stay with us for a little while. Until you’re healed up.”
I didn’t have the energy to protest. “Okay.”
I started to think about Gabriel and how lost I’d allowed myself to get. I didn’t lie when I told him that I loved him, but it was foolish of me to think that I could make a relationship with him work. We’d only been together a few weeks, and already, I’d made it to the hospital. Next time I could be dead. Or worse, they could go for my parents. I’d researched the Varasso’s crimes. I knew that they had enemies all up and down the eastern seaboard. Gabriel was the most innocent of his brothers, and still, my relationship to him had such a devastating effect on my life. It was going to kill me to have to break up with him, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn’t have a choice.
“What is it, honey?” My mom rubbed my hand, being careful not to catch the IV that led into my wrist. I didn’t realize I’d started crying, but I had. “It’s okay. You’re okay now.”
I wasn’t okay. I never would be. It hadn’t taken me long to realize that Gabriel was my missing piece. He was the thing that made my aura shine so brightly that my mom could sense it days later. No one in the world could bring me so high that I felt like I was about to start charting new galaxies. My hand in his felt like a continuation of my own bloodstream. When I felt his heartbeat against my skin, it was like feeling my own heartbeat, just in his chest.
When we didn’t have the outside world to interfere with us, there was no denying our chemistry, and I doubted that I would ever find someone who made me feel the way he did. Yet, none of that was in the running for consideration. Gabriel Varasso was dangerous. If I had to choose between him or myself, I had to choose myself. Anything else would be illogical. Anything else would mean death.
A doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in her hand. She looked over, and when she noticed I was awake, she smiled. “Oh, there she is. Hello, Ms. Everett.” I didn’t respond, and she didn’t push it. “How are you feeling?”
I didn’t know which of my ailments to focus on. There was a headache pounding against my skull, snatching, shooting pains coming from every corner of my body, I was almost certain I wasn’t getting signals to my left arm, and my stomach was still threatening to turn up at a moment’s notice.
“What’s wrong with me?” I asked, instead. “The injuries.”
The doctor and both my parents seemed to be confused by the question, but the doctor flipped a paper, folded it behind her clipboard, and then looked up at me. “You’ve got a nasty concussion, a cracked right eye-socket, a broken left arm, multiple contusions across your arms, torso, and legs, and a few bruised vertebrae.”
I remembered the man who held me, making mention of my naked body as he held me at gunpoint. “Were there…” I looked at my parents, and my voice died.
The doctor pulled the clipboard against her chest. “Mr. and Mrs. Everett, could you please give us a few moments?”
I saw the disappointment in my parents’ eyes and grabbed my mom’s hand as she started to move. “No, it’s okay.”
The doctor smiled at me. “It’s normal to not want to share certain details in front of others.”
My dad touched my forehead. “Really, angel. It’s okay.”
“I want you here,” I responded. “Just, please don’t ask me about this further, okay?”
My parents both settled back into their seats on either side of my hospital bed. My mom nodded. “Okay, honey.”
I steeled myself and opened up to ask my question. “Were there signs of, like, rape?”
Both my parents gasped, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at them. The doctor shook her head. “No. It seems whoever beat you bloodied and blue left it at that.” Her brow nestled above her eyes in a knowing glance. “Can you tell me what would make you ask that question?”
I had to protect Gabriel. Even now, even knowing that we had to part ways, I wanted to be good to him. I wanted to defend him. He had no role in those men coming to my house, even if they came as a way to get back at him. Without even speaking with him, I knew that to be true. “I was expecting a date. It wasn’t him, but I’d…I was…I had undressed while I was waiting for him. When the burglars saw me, they were…excited.” I didn’t even like bringing the words to my lips, but I had to be sure.
“You were still naked when the police found you. Something had been draped over you, but in situations like that, we automatically perform rape kits. Yours had no results.”
I nodded—a single relief in a sea of upset. “Okay.”
“Are you in pain?” the doctor asked, and I nodded. “Okay. I can administer some more morphine if you’d like. It’s gonna knock you out, though.”
Knocked out sounded better than consciousness, so I nodded. The doctor walked over to the machine that was making the inane beeping and pressed a couple of buttons, and I watched as the IV into my arm flooded to life. I traced the liquid until it disappeared into my hand. The doctor smiled at me.
“Have a good rest, Ms. Everett. You should be able to go home tomorrow.”
With the thoughts of finally being able to put this whole thing behind me, I let my eyes drift closed, where my dreams brought me back to Gabriel on the hill.
21
Gabriel
I was standing on Philly’s famous Ben Franklin bridge with the early morning wind whipping all around me as cars sped by. I had the shattered pieces of Stacy’s cellphone in a ziplock in my hand, and I was peering over the edge at the Delaware River below. Barges passed with a heavy blare of their horns as they sailed, and the sound seeped through my skin and down to my bones. I was hoping they would knock away the lingering sounds of Stacy’s screams in my ears, but they were whispers by comparison. The sounds would haunt my nightmares every single day until I was nothing more than dirt in the ground.
I was supposed to be disposing of the phone, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t because I lacked the spine my brothers thought necessary. It was because it was potentially the only piece of Stacy I’d be able to hang onto. I had no reservations that she would actually consider taking me back after what had happened, but at least she hadn’t died, and that was what mattered. I could say goodbye to her. I could leave the piece of me behind that was inexorably sewn into her knowing that, when I was gone, she’d be okay.
I dangled the bag over the water, but even as I was sending signals to my hand to let go, my fingers wouldn’t unlatch. They clenched even tighter against m
y command like my body was clinging desperately to what it knew Stacy gave me, even if my brain knew it was a food I could never eat again.
Molly had the frame of mind to grab it. It was a good thing she was with me because I’d probably be sitting in a cell right now if she wasn’t. I was just on the other side of the door from Stacy’s torture, but I couldn’t get to her. When Molly finally managed to shatter the kitchen window and crawl through, the Binachis thugs fled out the window they’d come in through in Stacy’s dining room and escaped. She unlocked the door, and when I saw Stacy laying in a puddle of her own blood, I felt a darkness scourge against the lightness I’d always tried to carry. I blamed Alessandro for going rogue again and causing Carducci to side, for whatever reason, with the Binachis. I blamed the Binachis and the Carduccis for bringing the woman I loved so much pain.
I was content to sit there, cradling her body in my arms until someone pried her from me, but Molly did what I was too cowardly to do for Alessandro. She stepped in. She told me that we needed to stage a break-in and get out. Call the police and let them handle it from there. She used a burner she had on her to call 911, and then she immediately disabled it. She grabbed Stacy’s purse, phone, and laptop and told me we had to go.
It took her setting her gun to my head to get me to let Stacy go, but I knew it was borne of love, not of hate or anger. She had to get me out of there, however necessary. I’d return Stacy’s purse and laptop as soon as it was safe to do so, but her phone had to go. It had all the texts and calls between her and me. If the police investigated, they’d know right where to go, and it wouldn’t matter if Stacy told them it wasn’t me. The Varasso name meant guilty in their eyes. With my fingerprints all over the place and my name in her phone, even Ricky would be hard-pressed to get me out of that.
