by J. Sterling
“Is everything okay? Is Sofia all right?” they asked.
“H-her water broke,” I stuttered, terrified.
Of course the baby leaving Sofia’s body was inevitable, but it was suddenly very real. Somewhere in my subconscious, I must have thought that she’d stay pregnant forever. Not only was the baby coming out, but it was coming out today.
“Get out of here. Go,” Frank yelled as he shoved me.
“We’ll call Mom and Dad. Anyone else?” Nick asked as I reached for my keys and headed toward the back door.
“Uh, Grant and Mariana, I guess?”
“Who’s watching Matson?” Frank asked.
“Sofia’s parents will as soon as they get to the hospital. You guys are coming, right?” Adrenaline rushed through my body with no signs of slowing down.
“We’ll be there as soon as we settle up here. Go,” Frank said.
At his assurances, I nodded. At least, I think I nodded. I couldn’t feel my face anymore.
I raced home on autopilot, my mind spinning, my heart galloping inside my chest. When I burst through the front door, I found Sofia sitting on a chair in the kitchen with Matson holding her hand.
“Her water spilled on the floor,” he said, his eyes as wide as saucers.
“It’s okay, buddy. We’ll clean it up later. Let’s get your mom to the hospital, okay?”
When I looked into Sofia’s eyes, she looked so damn calm, I was immediately centered. But I couldn’t help but wonder how she could be so together at a time like this.
“My bag’s by the door,” she said softly.
“Do you feel okay? Are you having contractions? How far apart are they?” I spat out rapid-fire questions as if I had any damn idea what her answers would even mean. Sofia knew it too, which was why she laughed at me.
“I’m fine. But we should go.” She moved as if to get up, and I wrapped my arm around her waist and helped her to her feet. “I’ve already texted my parents, so they should be there soon.”
I nodded, letting her know I heard her. “Matson, can you grab your mom’s bag for me?”
“Sure.” He ran toward the duffel Sofia had packed weeks ago, placed the strap on his shoulder, and hefted it up. “I got it.”
“You ready to be a big brother?”
Matson’s smile grew wide. “Yep. And I hope it’s a boy.”
I walked my family out the front door and locked it behind us. We hurried toward my car, and I gently settled Sofia inside.
As we pulled out of the driveway, Matson asked from the back seat, “Do you hope it’s a boy too, Ryan?”
I glanced at Sofia, who was breathing a little faster than usual, and squeezing my hand like she wanted to cut off all the circulation in it.
Do I want a boy?
“I don’t know,” I said, answering him honestly.
Of course, I’d thought about it over the past several months, but I’d never come to a firm conclusion in my mind or heart. All I knew was that I wanted a healthy baby with the woman I loved. It was a fucking cliché and everyone said it, but it was the truth.
“Well, I want a little brother. I mean, I’ll be okay if it’s a girl, but I want brothers like you.”
And there it was. Matson wanted to have what he had become familiar with. He wanted brothers just like mine.
I thought about what he said as I navigated the streets as quickly, efficiently, and safely as I could. Sofia moaned once and it almost tore me apart. Her grip on my hand tightened, and I pressed the gas pedal a little harder. Knowing she was in pain wasn’t something I’d ever be okay with, no matter what caused it.
“You know what, though?” I said to Matson. “I always wished that we had a sister too.”
“You did? Like instead of Nick?” he asked, and Sofia and I both laughed.
“No, not instead. I still wanted Nick and Frank, but I wanted a little sister too. I wanted to have someone to protect. And I wanted to be able to beat up the boys who liked her.”
“Really, babe?” Sofia said with a soft smile.
“I can do that if I have a sister? Beat up the boys who like her and not get in trouble?”
Matson sounded a little too excited, and Sofia’s grip on my hand was no longer about the contractions, but a warning about my response.
“Great job,” she whispered from beside me, and I bit back a smile.
It was the truth. I had always wanted that. How did that make me the bad guy? I figured it made me a good potential older brother.
“Maybe,” I said, and Sofia immediately let go of my hand. Apparently, that had been the wrong answer.
“I guess a baby sister won’t be so bad then,” Matson said as I pulled into the hospital’s emergency parking lot. Thankfully, I found an empty spot near the entrance.
I shut off the engine and ran around to Sofia’s door to help her out. I tried to hustle her toward the entrance, but she refused to take another step, almost causing me to trip over my own damn feet.
“Ryan, stop. Matson!” she shouted.
I could have smacked myself. I looked behind us to see Matson struggling to keep up, his mom’s overnight bag half as large as he was.
“Sorry, buddy.” I hurried back and removed the strap from his small shoulder, then slid it over mine.
“It’s okay. You were distracted.”
“It’s not okay,” I said. The last thing I wanted was for Matson to feel replaced or forgotten. He’d already forgiven me, I could tell, but I still wanted to kick myself.
He ran to his mother’s side and reached for her hand. “How are you, Mama?”
“I’m good,” she said, and he beamed up at her like she was his entire world. “How are you?”
“I’m good too.” He dropped her hand and ran toward the doors. “I see Grandma and Papa!”
I kissed the side of Sofia’s head and watched Matson run into his grandpa’s arms, thinking about how this would be his last day as the only child.
“You ready for this?” Sofia asked me with a wicked grin, like she knew something I didn’t.
“You trying to scare me, angel?”
She laughed instead of answering as we walked through the doors, knowing when we walked back out, our lives would be changed forever.
Apple Stem
Sofia
“I’m going to kill you, Ryan,” I screamed through the pain, and I meant it. “I can’t believe I let you do this to me.”
I looked into his stupid perfect face and wanted to hit it. Those blue eyes that I usually loved so much? I now wanted to gouge them out.
Fine. I was being a bit dramatic and I knew it, but you try pushing a bowling ball out of your vagina with no epidural and see how kind and loving you feel.
Why on earth had I wanted to have this baby naturally? It didn’t make me any more or less of a mom to give birth with no pain meds, but for whatever reason, I’d convinced myself that it would be a nice thing to experience.
A nice thing to experience? It was funny how quickly we forgot the pain of childbirth, considering many of us continued to put ourselves in this position over and over again.
“I love you, angel,” Ryan said, his voice so sugary sweet that he was lucky I didn’t puke on his shoes.
“I might love you after this thing is out of me,” I growled, and Ryan laughed.
He actually had the nerve to laugh. I narrowed my eyes at him.
“This isn’t funny, Ryan. You have no idea what this feels like.” Scowling, I squeezed his hand as hard as I could.
“I could never do what you’re doing. I’m not laughing at you, angel. I’m in fucking awe of you.”
I started to cry. Whether it was from his words, the way he was looking at me like I was a goddess, or the intense pain, I couldn’t be sure. But as my tears fell, Ryan wiped them away and kissed my cheek.
“You are literally the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Shut . . . up.”
He smiled again. My stupid boyfri
end was clueless.
“I need you to start pushing, Sofia.”
The doctor’s voice cut through the rest of the noise, and I became hyperfocused on her. I listened to her count me down.
Ryan’s hand was in my grip, like it had been for the last five hours. I was certain at one point that I’d broken at least two of his fingers, but he was smart to not mention it. I might have threatened to break the rest if he had.
“Almost there,” the doctor said with a lilt to her voice that gave me a brief reprieve. When the slicing pain became my focus again, she ordered, “Keep pushing,” and I did.
I pushed with all my strength and every muscle until I felt a slight sense of relief. The hard part of delivery was over as the baby’s shoulders moved through. My entire body sagged, and I waited to hear the sweet sound of a newborn baby’s cry fill the air. When it did, I sucked in a breath of my own.
“You did so good.” Ryan looked at me with tears rolling down his face. “That was amazing. You’re amazing.”
I stared into the eyes that only moments ago I wanted to stab from his face, and I fell in love with him all over again.
Having a child together bonded you, made the love between you grow in ways you never thought possible. I had never realized that until now. I’d missed that kind of connection the first time around with Matson. There was no man by my side holding my hand then, telling me I was amazing and looking at me like I’d hung the moon. There was no one telling me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
I’d been alone then. But I wasn’t alone anymore.
“Ryan, Sofia, meet your daughter.” The nurse handed the baby, who had been cleaned and swaddled, over to my waiting arms.
I looked into her perfect tiny face and openly wept. She was perfect.
“She looks like you,” I said, meeting Ryan’s blue eyes that were now bright with tears.
He leaned down to kiss me, then placed a gentle kiss on our daughter’s forehead. We stayed like for a few moments, the three of us soaking in the moment like magic.
Ryan shifted his weight. “Should I get everyone?” he asked the nurses.
“It’s up to your wife,” one of them said, and my heart skipped a beat.
I hadn’t agreed to marry Ryan yet, but I knew I would. The next time he asked, I’d say yes with no hesitation. I wanted to be his wife, and a part of me hated that I’d made him wait.
Right now, as we stared together at the precious baby girl we’d created, I wished that I shared his last name as we’d brought her into this world. I always assumed that I’d never drop my maiden name since Matson had it as well, but once Ryan talked about adopting him, all that changed. The four of us would be Fishers, something I never even considered a possibility until Ryan came into my life.
It seemed so simple, something insignificant in this day and age, but it was a bigger deal to me than I’d expected. Sharing Ryan’s last name was something I found myself desperate to do, and I hoped he asked me to marry him again soon. The last time he asked would be the last time I told him no.
“Did you hear that, angel? It’s up to you, my wife.” Ryan winked, and I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Matson first,” I said. “And by himself, please.”
Ryan nodded, then stepped outside the room.
I looked down at the sweet girl on my chest, tracing her little features gently with a fingertip as she wavered between staring up at me and falling asleep.
It felt like Ryan had only been gone two seconds, and then he was back at my side with my first love, my son.
“Can I touch her?” Matson asked as he scooted onto the bed next to me.
“Of course you can.”
Not entirely sure what to do, he petted her head as if she were a puppy. I stopped myself from giggling, but it was sweet. She was so tiny in comparison to him, and I flashed back to when Matson was first born and how quickly the time had passed. How was my sweet baby already ten years old?
“She’s so little,” he whispered.
I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “I know. You were that little once too.”
“That’s weird.” Matson hopped off the bed. “I can hold her when she’s awake, right?”
I glanced down and noticed that she had fallen asleep. “Of course you can,” I said, and his face lit up.
“You’re not disappointed it’s a girl?” Ryan asked, and Matson turned to look at him.
“Nah. I get to beat people up, remember?” Matson said the words so matter-of-factly that there was no arguing with him.
I shot Ryan a look that told him he was going to have to deal with that later, and he just shrugged.
“Want to go get everyone else for me?” Ryan asked Matson.
“They can come in now?” My son looked at me for permission, and when I nodded, his expression filled with concern. “It’s a lot of people, Mama.”
“It’s okay. They’re all family,” I said, and the words hit me like the force of a wave. This was my family now. Ryan’s brothers and their soon-to-be wives, his parents, and even Grant.
They filed in one at a time, filling the room, and each person took their turn cooing at the baby. Once everyone else had seen her, Ryan took her from my arms and held her for the first time.
He was nervous, concerned with holding her head properly, and my heart grew a little as I watched my mom show him how. Seeing Ryan Fisher holding our baby in his arms wasn’t something I was sure I’d ever get used to. I wanted a picture of it so badly, but my phone was God knows where.
Thankfully, Jess and Claudia both apparently read my mind. Each of them smiled at me, then pulled out their phones and took a few pics. I mouthed thank you to them, and they gave me a thumbs-up like it was something they’d planned.
“You’ve all been asking what her name is. So without further ado, I’d like you all to meet Apple Stem Fisher,” Ryan said with a grin.
My mom’s eyes widened comically, and his brothers’ expressions froze before they attempted to form normal smiles.
“Oh, that’s a lovely name,” Ryan’s mom lied.
Then Ryan lost all control and started cracking up. “You should have seen your faces,” he said through his laughter.
Frank punched him in the arm, and I couldn’t even blame him. Ryan deserved it.
“Who does that?” Nick said, shaking his head.
“What’s her real name?” Frank practically growled.
“Hope.” Ryan beamed at them, looking like the proudest dad on the planet.
“Now that’s a beautiful name,” my mom said, tears filling her eyes as she reached for the baby.
And it was. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. She looked exactly like Ryan with the exception of her mouth and hair. Those lips were all mine.
“How’d you choose?” Ryan’s mom asked as she took a few pictures with her cell phone of Hope with my mom.
“We kept trying to pick a name before we even knew her,” Ryan said, and I interrupted with a small laugh.
“It wasn’t working.”
“It wasn’t.” Ryan chuckled. “We couldn’t agree on girl or boy names, and nothing felt right.”
“So Ryan suggested we wait. He said we were trying too hard to name a baby we didn’t even know yet.”
The room filled with the sound of sweet sighs of understanding.
“It makes sense, right?” Ryan asked, and everyone agreed. “She’s the miracle we never expected,” he said, looking directly at me.
“She’s the light that came out of the dark,” I added.
“She was our hope without even trying.” Ryan looked between me and the baby, his eyes welling with emotion, and I wiped at my own, which had started tearing up as well.
Jess took a step closer, stopping next to my bed to wrap her arm around Matson, who was at my side. He followed suit, putting his arm around her. His crush hadn’t subsided, and I dreaded the day she married Nick, fearing that my boy might get his first taste
of a broken heart.
“She’s so perfect, Sof. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, Jess. Your turn,” I teased, and the blood drained from her face.
“Not yet,” she choked out, and I laughed, knowing that everyone in the room couldn’t help but overhear us.
“I think someone might have cold feet, Nick.” I glanced at him and nodded toward Jess, and he waved me off. The last thing in the world Nick Fisher was worried about was his status with his girlfriend.
“My baby’s just trying to climb that corporate ladder before she starts birthing future CEOs.” He grinned and gave her a wink. I swore Jess melted a little with the gesture.
Nick and Jess always acted like a couple who had just gotten together instead of one who had been together for years, and I envied that. I hoped that Ryan and I never let our relationship grow stale. It required work to not get into that comfortable state where you expected things and stopped appreciating them, but it was possible. I wanted to make sure we both did that for each other . . . always.
“You’ll be okay, right? For the wedding?”
Claudia had replaced Jess at my side, and I cocked my head to the side at her question. I knew she wasn’t asking out of concern or worry for herself. She was genuinely about me being comfortable and ready to be a bridesmaid on her big day.
“Yes,” I said enthusiastically, wanting to be sure she knew how excited and happy I was for both her and Frank. “Hope should be mostly eating and sleeping still, so the biggest thing I’ll have to do is breastfeed or pump a few times during the day. I hope that’s okay.”
“Are you kidding? Of course that’s okay.” Claudia leaned down and gave me a hug.
“When do you think you and Frank will have kids?” I whispered so the eavesdropping group surrounding us wouldn’t hear.
“Tomorrow.” Claudia grinned as she glanced at Frank, who was completely oblivious to our conversation. He was staring at Ryan and Hope with what looked like awe and maybe envy in his eyes. “But, seriously, look at him right now. He’s going to have baby fever more than I do. Probably try to put a baby in me the second we get home.”
“You might be right.”
Frank looked over at us then and gave Claudia a smile that could stop any woman in her tracks. He was head over heels in love with her, and it was a beautiful thing to see.
