By the time they finished eating and paid their bills, Phoebe was ready to leave the resort. She had a show in four hours and wanted to warm up her voice. Which was best done in private so no one would mistake her odd notes for having a seizure.
With a quick hug, she left Jill at the candy shop and headed to her car. It was a sunny, hot summer day, and the humidity hit her full force when she exited the air-conditioned lobby. Humidity in the Poconos near the woods smelled a lot different than humidity in the city.
For one thing, she didn’t want to gag. For another, she could actually breathe…without wanting to gag.
Phoebe was smiling at her own jokes again when, out of habit, her gaze skimmed over the vehicles near her Lexus, and she stilled. In the front row, by the sidewalk, a guy was shoving two large duffle bags into the trunk of his car.
Keiffer.
The way he slammed the trunk and stood staring at the resort, shoulders hunched, gaze wistful and haunted, sent chills skittering down her spine.
Chapter Thirteen
Why didn’t Jill mention he was leaving today?
Phoebe watched as the youngest Wyne brother pulled out his phone as if to text, his fingers hovering over the screen, and that’s when she knew. He hadn’t told a soul. He was cutting out.
In all her twenty-nine and a half years, Phoebe had never interfered in someone’s life. She’d learned long ago everyone had their crosses to bear, and if you laid your problems on the curb and had the choice to take anyone else’s trouble, you’d grab your own back.
But she was interfering now.
She had no intentions of stopping the guy, Lord knew he had his own demons to face in his own way, but she’d be damned if she stood by and let him sneak away without telling his father and brothers goodbye to their faces. Especially, Ethan.
It was bad enough he was leaving without seeing Tyler. She couldn’t help that, but she could do something about his other loved ones.
Changing direction, she strode straight for the Charger and squared her shoulders. “Keiffer.”
He stiffened, then slowly turned to face her. “Hi, Phoebe. Ethan’s on a hike around the lake. He won’t be done for another hour yet.”
“Then you should probably go inside and wait for him,” she said calmer than she felt, her heart hammering out a desperate tune.
His brown gaze narrowed and chin lifted slightly. “It’s better this way.”
“For whom? You, yes. And no, don’t worry, I’m not going to try to stop you.” She held up her hands and shook her head. “Your leaving is going to hurt your family. They love you. Don’t make it worse by leaving without saying goodbye. They deserve better.”
“They’ll try to make me stay, and I can’t, Phoebe. I won’t.” He shook his head. In fact, his whole body was shaking.
She wanted to put a reassuring hand on him, but knew better than to touch him. He was borderline unstable. “You Wynes are a lot of things. Stubborn, handsome, great dancers, but above all, you’re supportive. Sure your family will try to talk you out of leaving, but they would never make you stay.”
After a moment, he gave a slight nod.
“Leave your belongings where they are.” She patted his trunk. “And go sit inside and wait for Ethan. He deserves a goodbye. They all do. When is Mason due in?”
“Around the same time.”
She held his gaze. “Ben is back in town.”
He nodded.
“You did a great thing, giving your brother a happy wedding.”
He shrugged, and her heart cracked open, knowing he was hurting, that there were things he felt and things he didn’t feel. And God, she wanted to hug him, make it better.
She’d never felt so helpless.
“I couldn’t do it while Tyler was here.”
He surprised her with the admission, and she swallowed past her hot throat. “He’s not going to take this well, Keiffer. He’s young. He won’t understand. Will probably even think it was his fault.”
“No! God, no. Of course it’s not.”
“Oh, hun, I know that. But he won’t.” She stepped close. “I know this is hard, but he needs to know. You need to tell Tyler, to reassure him that this has nothing to do with him.”
“I tried to call him, but I couldn’t. It’s not going to happen.”
“There’s pen and paper inside. Write him a quick letter and leave it here for him when he gets back. Just a few lines, please, Keiffer.” A lone tear slid down her face, her heart aching for them both. “He’s just a little boy. Tell him it’s not his fault and that you love him. Please. You can do that while you wait for your brothers.”
He blew out a breath and nodded. “Okay.”
She wanted to weep from relief, and sadness, and the grief she knew he and his family were about to endure. But she kept it together. For him. She straightened from the car, still fighting her urge to hug him.
“Phoebe?” His voice was low.
“Yeah?”
“Can you come wait with me? I can’t guarantee I’d stay, otherwise.”
Touched beyond words, she nodded, and taking a chance, she reached for his hand and squeezed.
He squeezed back.
And that single show of emotion fortified her resolve to help him see this through.
Today was the day.
The instant Ethan stepped inside the sliding doors, he knew. Before he saw his family sitting in the kitchen. Before he saw the sadness and anger and confusion on everyone’s faces. He knew.
Today was the day Keiffer was leaving.
Ben was pissed, Mason was confused, Lea and Jill were upset, silent tears rolling down their faces, Dad was hurting, and Keiffer was resolute.
So, he forced air in and out of his tight chest as he walked through the silent crowd to stand in front of his troubled brother.
“Leaving?”
Keiffer nodded. “Don’t try to s—”
He held up his hand and shook his head. “I’m not. You’ve had your mind made up awhile now.”
Again his brother nodded.
“I think it’s a good idea.”
Ben cursed and stepped close. “How the hell could you say that, Ethan? He’s our brother. He should stay with family.”
He could feel Keiffer stiffen up. Feel fury emanating ready to burst like a solar flare. So he turned to Ben, placing himself between the two. “Don’t you see? We’re half the problem. It’s because we’re family. He stayed this long because of us, but this place is killing him. The memories,” as he spoke, he realized the truth in his words.
“I’ve got to get away from it, Ben,” Keiffer spoke up. “I can’t walk in here, or down the street, or in the armory, the woods, the fucking post office. All of it. He’s everywhere, and everywhere he is…so is the image of his dead body. I’ve got to leave it behind, man. I’ve got to leave it behind…”
Ben stepped around him to pull Keiffer in for a hug. “Okay. Okay. I get it. You have to do what’s best for you. Not worry about us. But, you’re my brother and I love you.”
“I love you, too, and you of all people shouldn’t worry about me leaving. If I’m in trouble, hell, you’ll know before me with that hoodoo thing you have.” Keiffer actually smiled as he pulled back. “That’s what brought you here today, remember?”
“It was?” Ethan asked, bouncing his gaze between the two. He’d just assumed Keiffer had called a family meeting.
Their youngest brother nodded. “Yeah, he must’ve had a vision of me leaving or something because he showed up while I was talking to Phoebe in the parking lot.”
“Phoebe was here?” His mind was too numb to know what to do with that information.
Keiffer dropped his head and stared at his boots. “Yeah, she caught me trying to sneak off, made me promise to say my goodbyes to all of you in person. She was going to stay with me until someone came home.”
The bands around Ethan’s chest squeezed so tight he coughed. Keiffer had been ready to cut and run?
> If it hadn’t been for Phoebe…
“Here.” Keiffer handed him an envelope with Tyler’s name on it. “Give this to him when he gets back. I tried to call but…” He paused to clear his throat. “But I couldn’t. Phoebe insisted I write him a note so he didn’t think I left because of him. She’s a good woman, Ethan.”
He nodded, taking the note to place it on top of the fridge. He couldn’t think about her right now. Hell, he was barely holding it together. Trying to get through this, get them all through this.
Turning around, he pulled his brother in for a hug, his heart breaking. Life was never going to be the same again. Once Keiffer left, he wasn’t coming back anytime soon. If ever. Ethan knew this with utter certainty. It had taken Ben thirteen years to be able to step foot in New York City since the towers fell. He didn’t see Keiffer returning for years.
When he released him, Mason was waiting, and soon everyone took turns saying goodbye. Ethan opened the fridge, grabbed a six-pack and a bottle of water, set them on the table, then opened a beer.
His dad was last to hug Keiffer, and he appeared to age in front of Ethan’s eyes. That about killed Ethan.
He cleared his throat. “Let’s raise our bottles,” he said, holding up his drink, waiting while everyone did the same and the youngest brother took the bottle of water. “To Keiffer. May you find peace.” They clinked bottles and drank.
His dad held up his bottle. “To Keiffer. Not all Wynes need to stay close to the vine. Good luck starting your own vineyard.”
Throat’s cleared, bottles clanked, and beer was swallowed. Several more toasts were made, and the mood lightened a little.
“Only Ethan would toast a Wyne with a beer,” his dad said, and they all laughed.
“Ben would,” Lea said.
Her husband laughed. “True.”
“Any idea where you’re heading?” Mason asked.
Keiffer shook his head. “No. Just out of the northeast. Away from woods and mountains.”
For the next half-hour, they reminisced, shared laughter, shed a few tears. Made the best of the impromptu going away party. Ethan didn’t kid himself, his brother had a long road ahead of him, and many challenges to face and overcome. It sucked that he couldn’t be there for him, couldn’t have his back as he had since his brother’s birth.
But he now understood. The best way for Keiffer to begin healing was to leave. It wasn’t running away. It was running to life.
Ethan questioned his own philosophy. By shielding his son from pain, was he using that as an excuse to run from life?
For the first time in her career, Phoebe left the theater right after her second performance, only stopping long enough to slip into her halter sundress. She didn’t remove makeup, or pins from her hair, or stop to sign autographs. All afternoon and evening, her mind had been on Ethan. Even when she’d given the two young girls a backstage tour after the first show. She wished she could’ve used the understudy today, because if ever there was a day she needed to take off, it was today.
But there was only one understudy for the two female leads, and the sweet woman was already filling in the other role because the actress’s daughter was in labor. So, she hadn’t. The show must go on. But today, that sucked. Ethan needed her. She knew it. She could feel it to her very soul. And there hadn’t been a damn thing she could do.
So, she said her lines, sang her songs, danced her dances, while her heart had been with Ethan, willing him to get through the day. By the time she pulled up in front of the resort, the sun had set an hour ago.
She got out of her car, and walking past the spot where Keiffer’s Charger had sat earlier, her body experienced a chill despite the humidity clinging to her skin. With her mind on Ethan, and hoping he’d let her in…and not just his front door, she headed straight for that door texting Jill that she had arrived, having already planned ahead.
All day, her friends had kept Phoebe informed of what transpired with Keiffer. Bless him, he’d stayed to tell his family goodbye, and hadn’t gotten into a fist fight with Ben, although it had been close. She’d hesitated leaving him when Ben and Lea had arrived, both men had their backs up, their fists clenched, but Lea had assured her they’d be okay.
Her heart was hammering by the time she knocked on the family’s door. It immediately swung open and Jill and Mason greeted her.
“Come in.” Her friend stepped back to allow her to enter the common area. “How were the shows?”
“Long. Too damn long today,” she replied, glancing from face to face. “How is he?”
Mason lifted a shoulder. “You know Ethan, tries to put up a front, keep everyone from falling apart. He appears fine, but he’s hurting like the rest of us.”
That’s what she expected. “The rock.”
“Yep.” He nodded, leading them down the hall to the quiet living room. “After Keiffer left, Ethan disappeared on the mountain for a few hours. When he came home, he lit the fire pit and made a batch of s’mores.”
Jill wrapped her arm around Mason and he pulled her in close to his side. “We joined him, until he called it a night a half-hour ago.”
Phoebe stepped forward to give them a group hug. “How are you both doing?”
“We’ll get through it,” Mason replied, enough conviction in his tone to make her believe him. “We know this is best for Keiffer. It’s what he needs. Just like you’re what’s best for Ethan. You’re what he needs.”
She had no idea how to reply to that so she didn’t.
“The door to his townhouse is up the stairs and to the right,” he informed, nodding to the staircase behind her.
Jill grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Good luck.”
She squeezed back, then released her friend to start climbing the stairs, her insides jittery, her mind filled with doubt.
What if he didn’t answer? What if he told her to go?
Reaching the top, she glanced down, noting Jill’s thumbs up and Mason’s nod. She nodded back, then pivoted around, observing photos lining the walls before she turned to the right and strode to the lone door.
Steeling courage, she knocked three times, her heart pounding so loud in her ears she could barely hear the sound of her knuckles wrapping on his door.
In an attempt to calm her nerves, she sucked in four slow breaths, releasing them just as slow.
It worked, until the door swung open and she stood face to face with a bare-chested Ethan.
Chapter Fourteen
His hair was wet as if he’d just gotten out of the shower, and, oh Lordy, he wore a pair of gray sweatpants low on his hips.
“Phoebe?”
One hundred and one words popped in her mind, including things she’d rehearsed, but the sight of him, ruffled, warm, and hurting wreaked havoc on her vocal chords. Her first instinct was to pull him close and cradle him until the haunted look clouding his gaze disappeared. But she held back, unsure if she was welcomed.
She cleared her throat. “May I come in?”
“Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry.” He stepped back to allow her passage, then shut the door behind her.
She glanced around the living room, noting big, comfy furniture, board games stacked on shelves in a large entertainment center filled with game systems and a sound system equivalent to the big screen TV. A gorgeous stone fireplace, beamed ceilings and an open kitchen with granite counters completed the homey, practical, warm atmosphere.
It felt like him. It felt like Tyler. It felt…
Perfect.
“Why are you here?”
She met his gaze, her heart clutching at the sadness pinching his face. “I know Keiffer left. I came to see how you’re doing.”
He cocked his head and narrowed his gaze, disbelief mixing with the pain. “You came to see me? Why?”
God, was it so hard for him to believe someone could actually care about him?
Tears sprang to her eyes while anger vibrated deep for the damn woman who killed his self-worth.
She stepped
close and cupped his jaw. “Because I…” It was on the tip of her tongue to say love you, but since that was the first she realized just how strong her feelings ran for the incredible man, and it scared the crap out of her, she thought she’d better go slow. “…care about you, Ethan. Why is that so hard to believe?”
He blinked at her. Hope and longing gave way to a deep need that stole her breath.
“Because you’re beautiful, and famous, and incredible.”
“I’m a human being, like you,” she replied, running her other hand up his chest to set over his heart. His thudding heart that leapt under her palm. “With the same wants and needs…for you. I’m here for you, Ethan.”
His body shook with her words and seemed to break his resolve because he thrust his hands in her hair and backed her up against the wall. “I need you, Phoebe,” he said into her mouth before kissing her long and deep and so utterly thorough they were both gasping for breath when he pulled back to set his forehead to hers. “God, I need you.”
“I’m yours.” Forever. She cupped the back of his head, and drew circles on his neck and scalp with her thumbs. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And to prove it, she pressed her lips to his, and he made a sexy sound in his throat as he took over, sweeping his tongue into her mouth in an erotic caress. He rocked into her and she moaned, her insides fluttering at the feel of him, hot and hard everywhere.
Then his fingers were untying her dress, and the air-conditioned air was cool on her exposed breasts as the halter fell to her waist. He grasped her wrists and lifted her arms above her head, then broke the kiss to glance down. His gaze smoldered with the very need shuddering through her body.
“So perfect,” he whispered, and still holding her wrists, he bent down to lick one of her nipples.
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