The words scrape against my already frazzled nerves. All my anger—about last night’s dream and my forgetfulness with the medicine and my messed up mental problems—somehow, they are Luka’s mom’s fault. “Does she forget that you went there first?”
The muscle in his jaw tightens. “I know. But I’m her son.”
I cross my arms and look out the passenger side window. Even in January, a mass of dense green whizzes past. We drive in stony silence, which gives me plenty of time to reach some conclusions. Like the fact that my mother is more understanding and forgiving than Luka’s. If my mom knew he went to the Edward Brooks Facility, she wouldn’t care. Which means she is the better person. And if, on the off chance she did care, I wouldn’t justify her behavior. Luka shouldn’t defend his mom. Not about this.
He pulls into the high school parking lot, finds a spot, and turns off the car. The stony silence remains. Well, I’m not going to be the one to break it. Eager to get away from him, I swing the door open and step out into the nippy air. I know my level of irritation is misplaced. I know that this wouldn’t be such a big deal if last night hadn’t happened. But it did and my emotions will not be reasoned with. Luka’s car door slams shut and he catches up with me. As much as I want to look at him, as much as I want to gauge his thoughts, I keep my attention pinned on my Converse All Stars.
He opens the door to the hum of high school. “I need to use the restroom,” he says. “I’ll meet you in class.”
I stand inside, staring after him. Abandoned.
I turn toward my locker. Leela leans against the one beside mine, staring off in the opposite direction, her hands unusually fidgety considering Pete is nowhere to be seen. I try to bolster my spirits for her benefit. She doesn’t deserve my dark mood. I stop in front of my locker, slide my backpack off my shoulder, and twist the lock to the first number of my combination. “Hey.” I twist to the second number. “You might want to stay away. Pete’s sick today. I could be contagious.”
“Is it true?”
My fingers stop twisting. “Is what true?”
“That you go to the Edward Brooks Facility?”
Leela’s blunt question hits me like a sucker punch. The shock of it steals my breath. All I can do is blink at her with my mouth ajar.
Her face lengthens. “It’s true.”
“Leela …” I want to erase the betrayal and hurt in her eyes, but I’m too stunned to do much of anything.
“And I defended you against Summer.”
“Summer?”
“Does Luka know?”
I don’t know how to respond.
“He does.” Leela shakes her head. “I thought we were best friends.”
“We are.”
“Best friends don’t lie to each other. They don’t keep secrets from one another.” She turns around and makes to walk away, but I grab her elbow.
“Wait.” Why should it matter? The question bulges in my throat. I mean, really, how conditional is her friendship if she ditches me because of my once a week appointments with Dr. Roth? Maybe Leela and Mrs. Williams should get together for lunch. “I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s not exactly the kind of thing you go around telling people.”
“I’m not people, Tess.”
“Right. You’re the first best friend I’ve ever had. I was afraid if I told you, this—whatever we have—would change. Obviously I was right.”
“You didn’t even give me a chance to prove you wrong.” Leela yanks her elbow from my grip. “This whole time, you told me you were taking piano lessons.” Tears build in her eyes as she turns and stalks away.
Scott Shroud gapes at me, his pointy Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. I quickly look away, only to find other students staring too. Small huddles of them fill the locker bay, whispering and darting furtive glances. When I spot Serendipity and Jennalee peeking at me sideways, my heart sinks. I finish the rest of my locker combination and attempt to hide inside.
Summer must have finally told everyone what she overhead in the library all those weeks ago, vanquishing any headway I made into a life of normalcy. But why now? Why did she wait so long? I recall Matt’s words yesterday in the library. Maybe Summer finally snapped.
My heart thuds against my eardrums. Somehow, I always knew this would happen. The last several weeks were too good to be true. My life never really felt like my life. There was this feeling of transience undergirding each blissful moment. I just didn’t expect it all to flip inside out and upside down so quickly.
I want to climb all the way inside my locker, shut the door, and never come out again. Or better yet, I want to slam the locker shut and leave. But I can’t do that, because I drove with Luka, and Pete is home sick with my car in the driveway. So instead, I head to Current Events, shrinking more and more into myself with every step. Funny how fast I turn into the old me—Tess the Freak. Tess, the girl who wants to be invisible.
I reach for the door that opens into the stairwell, but before my hand finds the handle, Beamer swings it open for me, smiling in a way that makes me think somebody forgot to give him the memo. “Where’s your boy?”
“I’m not sure.” Realization hits, followed swiftly by dread. What if Luka’s sullenness in the car had nothing to do with his mother? What if Matt or Jared called him this morning to tell him what the student body is buzzing about? What if Luka decided I’m more trouble than I am worth? And then like an idiot, I came outside and climbed into his car and he was too nice to tell me to drive myself. A groan rumbles deep inside my chest.
“Did he ditch you because of the rumors?”
Okay, so Beamer did get the memo.
He drapes his arm around my neck as we reach the second story landing. I want to shrug him away, but I can’t bring my body to work properly. “Hey, I think it’s cool,” he says. “Freaky is the new sexy, if you ask me.”
We come out of the stairwell. Summer leans against the wall beside the drinking fountain with Jared and a couple guys on the basketball team. When she spots me, her face glows with triumph.
Ignore her, ignore her, ignore her…
I wiggle out from beneath Beamer’s arm and walk quickly with my head down, and as I do, Summer mumbles, “Cuckoo, cuckoo.”
The guys in her group snicker.
Something inside me snaps. Luka’s mom has nothing on this girl. I whip around and dagger her with my eyes. “What is your deal?”
“Please tell me there’s going to be a cat fight,” Beamer says.
The door opens and Leela steps out of the stairwell. She looks between me and Summer, her eyes wide. I’m momentarily distracted, hopeful even. Until Leela presses her lips together and hurries past us into Mr. Lotsam’s classroom.
“Tut, tut. Looks like Tess has lost all her friends.”
I glare up at Summer, hating that she’s taller than me.
“No Luka. No Leela.” She shakes her head, like this is all an unfortunate tragedy. “Have they all abandoned you?”
“If they have, it’s because of whatever lies you’re spreading.”
“Oh, I’m the liar? No, that’s you. All this time you’ve been hiding who you really are.” She sneers. “Does Luka know? Maybe somebody should tell him that his girlfriend is a total psycho. Because only major whack jobs go to the Edward Brooks Facility.”
My hatred swells. I’ve been trained never to hit unless it’s in self-defense, but in this moment I want nothing more than to sink my fist into her face.
“In fact,” she says, raising her voice so that everybody walking past slows and looks. “I think everyone should know. Hey everybody! In case you don’t know, the beloved new girl Tess Eckhart goes to the Edward Brooks Facility!” Her proclamation hiccups over the final word. She snaps her mouth shut and stares over my shoulder.
Everybody watches, so silent and still, I’m positive the blood whooshing past my ears thrums into the silence. I can’t handle it. If I don’t leave right now, I will either haul off and smack Summer, or worse, start cr
ying. I whip around and collide with something hard and warm. It’s Luka—his hair a mess, his green eyes raging. Only his wrath is not directed at me.
“Did you know your girlfriend is a mental case?” Summer asks the question boldly, but the slant of her shoulders looks diminished, less confident. In light of Luka’s smoldering stare, I don’t blame her. She takes a small step back, toward Jared. “She’s going to end up like her grandmother.”
The words ring in my ears. My grandmother? There’s no way Summer can know something like that. “What are you talking about?”
“Play dumb all you want.” Summer peels her attention from Luka and pins her vindictive face on mine. “It won’t change the fact that she’s locked up in an insane asylum. With any luck, it won’t be long before you follow.”
How does she know? How does she know? How does she know? This is all I can think.
Luka steps in front of me. “You need to back off.”
Jared steps forward in kind. “No, you need to back off, Williams. You and your crazy girlfriend.”
It happens so fast. One minute Luka and Jared are facing each other. The next, Luka throws a mean-looking left hook and Jared topples back. Summer screams. I jump away, but not far enough, because Jared recovers and lunges at Luka’s waist and they tumble into me. I fall with a sharp thud on my butt and scoot away quickly while Luka and Jared grapple on the floor, throwing punches and knees. Students mob around them, cheering and chanting.
Mr. Lotsam charges out of his class and throws himself between Luka and Jared. He manages to tear them apart. How, I have no idea. Mr. Lotsam is a skinny-looking tree hugger, probably more acquainted with peace signs than fists. He holds the two boys apart by their arms and yells at the crowd, “Break it up. Get to class!”
Luka wipes at a trickle of blood on his lip. Jared cups his hand over what I’m sure is a swollen eye. Leela peeks out from Mr. Lotsam’s class, catching sight of me before ducking back inside.
Mr. Lotsam looks at me on the floor and Summer standing shell-shocked by the drinking fountain. “All four of you. You’re coming with me.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Forbidden
Mrs. Finch answers phones and types into her computer while Summer and I sit in uncomfortable chairs outside the principal’s office, glaring at one another. I refuse to look away first. Luka is behind the closed door, telling his side of the story to Mr. Jolly. Jared already went.
I scratch my wrist, wishing this whole day was one giant nightmare. But my eczema burns with agitation. I sit there, waiting for my turn, trying to figure out what to say, wondering if Summer will tell Mr. Jolly about the Edward Brooks Facility. How long before my parents find out everybody in school knows? How long before we pack up our bags and move again?
Away from Luka.
A strong, sudden sympathy for Pete overwhelms me. Because what if this is how he felt about Elliana? With a flash of clarity, I get it. I understand why he hated me for moving. At this moment, I hate myself. I hate this problem I have. I hate that I need medicine. I hate that missing a dose makes my world go haywire. I hate that I am Tess the Freak again. And I hate—really, really hate—this girl across from me.
Not able to bear the unanswered question any longer, I shift into the seat beside her.
Summer leans away from me.
“How did you know about my grandmother?” I hiss.
She lifts her nose, the epitome of snob. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
I narrow my eyes. Now that was an interesting answer.
The door to the office bursts open, severing my glare-down and distracting me from my intrigue. It’s Luka’s parents. His mother enters first, prim and proper, beautiful as ever. His father follows close behind. I’ve only seen him a couple times, but each encounter leaves me newly intimidated. He’s a man who exudes authority, commands attention. Where Luka’s good looks are attractive, Mr. Williams’ good looks only make him more intimidating.
Summer’s scowling face morphs into sweet innocence and for a second, I think I might throw up. She straightens in her seat. “Oh hi, Mr. and Mrs. Williams.”
Mrs. Williams gives her a smile much warmer than any she’s ever given me. The unfairness of it crawls under my skin. The woman is an awful judge of character.
“Luka should be out in a second,” Mrs. Finch says.
As if on cue, the door opens and Principal Jolly appears. Luka steps around him. He spots his parents filling the bulk of the office and looks at the carpet.
“Mr. and Mrs. Williams.” Mr. Jolly nods at them both, tugging at the waist of his khaki slacks. “This isn’t like your son. In fact, I was shocked when Mr. Lotsam brought him into my office. I believe he’s remorseful, but protocol needs to be followed. Which means Luka will go home today and can return tomorrow.”
Mr. Williams looks at his son, then at me, and the disapproval painting his face makes me shrink back in my chair. “I can assure you, Principal Jolly, that this will not happen again.”
“I don’t think it will.”
“Come on,” Mr. Williams puts his hand on the back of Luka’s neck, “it’s time to go.”
I will Luka to look at me, but his father guides him out of the office and Luka keeps his attention glued to the floor. My heart plummets. I can’t shake the feeling that everything is ruined. Everything.
Principal Jolly waves Summer into his office. “You first.”
Great. Summer first.
She’ll put on her sweet, fake mask and tell him all about how dangerous I am and how students have the right to know. I won’t stand a chance. She steps into his office and the door closes with a definitive click. It’s me and Mrs. Finch, who doesn’t seem to notice my presence at all. She stands from her desk and starts punching buttons on the copy machine.
I crane my neck and stare at Luka, flanked by his parents, growing smaller and smaller down the hallway. The urge to eavesdrop overwhelms me. With one final glance at Mrs. Finch’s back, I make my escape. I need to know what Luka’s parents have to say. I close the door silently behind me and hurry after the trio, my back sliding against the wall. Once outside, I keep close to the building, behind some hedges, careful to stay out of sight.
Luka jerks away from his dad’s grip and I duck behind some bushes.
“I’ll drive myself home,” he says.
“No, you won’t.” His dad’s voice exudes as much authority as his presence. “I think it’s best if you lose your car privileges for a while.” He looks around, as if making sure nobody’s within hearing distance. I flatten myself against the ground, desperate to stay hidden. Mr. Williams leans closer to Luka. “You’re obviously not listening to your mother, but you will listen to me. You are not to see that girl anymore.”
“That girl has a name.”
That girl, I assume, is me.
“I don’t care about her name. All I care about is that this ends today. No more, Luka. You will obey us.”
Luka glares.
Mrs. Williams twists the silk scarf in her hands. “She’s dangerous, honey.”
Me? Dangerous? I’m five-foot nothing. Barely more than a hundred pounds, soaking wet. Sure, I’m strong in my dreams. Maybe even dangerous in them. But that isn’t real life. In real life, I can break some boards. That’s about it.
“I won’t have my only son throwing his future away on a crazy girl,” Mr. Williams says.
Luka squares his shoulders. “You forget that she’s not the only one who’s gone to the Edward Brooks Facility.”
His father shushes Luka’s words. “All the more reason why you can’t be associated with her. Do you think if it gets out about her that it won’t get out about you? Listen to me, it ends here. Crazy people are not tolerated in this society. They are a burden. I will not have you labeled a burden. You are to have nothing to do with her, do you understand?”
His words are like a blast that rock me to my core. Mainly because of their truth. Mr. Williams is right. I shift, trying
to get a better look at Luka. He stares back at his father in defiance, the back of his neck red.
I want to jump up from my spot behind the bush and tell him to agree. His dad’s right. I’m not worth the trouble. A boy like Luka—he has a whole world of possibilities stretching ahead of him. A world I will only ruin. My quick descent from normalcy is proof.
“I’ll take drastic measures, Luka. Don’t test me.”
Mr. Williams clamps his hand on Luka’s shoulder and leads him across the parking lot. I lay there in the gravel, making the decision for us. I won’t let Luka drown with me. As much as my heart breaks over losing him, I know what I have to do. If he won’t stay away from me, then I’ll stay away from him. Because this psychosis or whatever it is? It’s not going away. I refuse to let Luka ruin his present and his future for a girl headed to an asylum.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The Pile Up
I don’t return to Principal Jolly’s office. All day I hide behind my hair, ignoring the whispers and the laughs and the occasional overt point, dreading the moment Mrs. Finch will call my name over the intercom, asking me to report back to the principal’s office. But it never comes. Principal Jolly either doesn’t notice my absence or doesn’t care.
By the time the final bell rings, I realize that getting home will be tricky. Leela won’t speak with me. Luka’s already gone. So I call my mom and tell her a lie—that Luka went home sick. When she pulls up to the curb, I slip into the car and tell her I’m coming down with something, hoping this will keep her questions at bay. It’s only a matter of time until my parents hear what is happening. Thornsdale is not a very big town. I plan to ride out their oblivion for as long as possible.
As soon as I’m home, I change into a pair of sweats and crawl under my covers. I reject dinner. I take my medicine. Luka calls. Every half hour his number lights up my cell phone. He texts a few times, but I stick to my resolution. I will not be his demise. I let his calls go to voicemail and his texts go unanswered. My loneliness grows, like I’m slipping into some deep dark rabbit hole that leads to the inevitable.
The Gifting Page 21
