“It’s so we can add you to Denny’s birth certificate, and get his name changed.”
Jay’s mouth drops open as understanding dawns.
“That’s if you want to.”
He looks between the two of us once again. Water fills his eyes. “Of course that’s what I want. Come here.” His voice cracks as he pulls me to him and encourages Denny up from the floor so we can all have a group hug.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” Jay whispers in my ear later that afternoon while I’m stood at the oven, getting our dinner ready. I don’t get to answer because his lips brush against my skin and all I can do is feel. A moan vibrates up my throat as he starts to lick up towards my ear.
“We need to get a wedding booked. You need my surname. Erin Baxter…It has a good ring to it, don’t you think?”
“Uh huh,” I agree as he continues to tease me with his tongue.
“How long’s dinner?”
“A…about thirty minutes.”
“Good. Come with me. Denny, we’ll just be a few minutes. You okay, bud?”
“Yeah,” he calls, but doesn’t once look up from what he’s playing with.
“Jay, we can’t have sex, he’ll hear us.”
“You’ve got a one track mind, Erin Baxter.” The use of that name again sends warmth throughout my body. “Come and sit with me.”
He gives my arm a tug and I fall down on the edge of the bed next to him. “What—” I begin to ask, but stop when he pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands in over.
I look up at him, confused, but I don’t miss the apprehension written all over his face.
“Open it.”
I do as I’m told, and when it unlocks, it’s open on a webpage. When I look closer, I see that I’m looking at a house.
A house that’s for sale.
“Jay…what? Why are you—”
“Do you like it?”
His question makes me look at it a little more, and I realise it’s incredible. It looks like the house every kid imagines when they’re asked to draw their dream home. There’s a big driveway, a perfect and colourful front garden, then the most stunning, symmetrical looking house sitting behind it. Jay hits the picture and it makes it bigger before he begins scrolling through photos of each room. Each is more beautiful than the last.
I stare at it with my mouth hanging open.
“So…what do you think?”
“It…it’s stunning. But wh—”
“It’s ours.”
“It’s what?” I move away and stare at him, totally bemused by this whole conversation. “Jay?”
“It’s your Christmas present.”
“Most guys just buy jewellery and perfume.”
He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me towards him. His cheek brushes against mine before he whispers, “I’m not most guys.”
“You don’t say.” I can’t help but laugh. This is a joke. Right? “Are you serious?”
“Deadly. My offer’s been accepted and it’s been taken off the market.”
“When did you…How did you…”
“I’ve been looking since I found you again. But I saw this one the other day and I knew it was the one.”
“Have you viewed it?”
“No. I wouldn’t view it without you.”
“You bought it without me!”
“Something told me you’d be okay with it.”
I’m silent for a few minutes as I allow everything to settle into my brain.
“Can I see it again, please?”
He hands his phone over and I take everything in.
“It’s not in Bristol.”
“Technically, it is. It’s got a Bristol postcode.” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Okay, no, it’s not really in Bristol. But it’s an amazing area, and it’s in the catchment for outstanding schools for Denny.” My heart melts that he’s gone to the effort of finding out about the schools and the area. “And look,” he takes the phone from me and scrolls through a couple of pictures, “this is the converted loft room. I thought it would be a perfect studio for you. It’s got four bedrooms on the floor below so we’d have plenty of room. Denny could have either of these, and then this one is right next to the master, so it would be a perfect nursery—”
“Nursery?” I interrupt. He really isn’t letting this go.
“Yeah,” he says, dropping the phone to his lap and taking my face in his hands. “I meant what I said the other day. I want everything with you, Erin. We’ve already lost so much time and I’ve missed out on so much with Denny. You’re my family. My world.”
I feel my first tear fall and Jay catches it with his thumb before placing his lips against mine.
“You bought us a house?” I ask, just to confirm I didn’t dream the last few minutes.
“I’ve put an offer in on a house. If you don’t like it or don’t want it, we can pull out.”
“What about my house?”
“I know you’ve got connections to that house with your mum and everything, but I felt like it was time for us to make a fresh start. This place would be ours. Our family home. You can keep your house if you want—rent it out, whatever. We don’t need the money from it for this place.”
“Wow,” I breathe. This is all a bit much.
I get a funny look off Denny when we reappear. I tried to cover that I’d been crying but I obviously didn’t do a very good job.
We agree not to tell him anything about the new house until we see it ourselves, just in case it isn’t as amazing in real life as it is in the photos.
“Thank you,” Jay says as I curl into his side when we get into bed.
“What for?”
“The best Christmas I’ve ever had.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You were here. That’s all I need.”
I smile at him, trying not to let thoughts of what his past Christmases were like sadden my mood. It really has been the best day.
I look away from him and down to the tattoo just below my head. I run my finger over the text. “When did you get this?”
“It was the first thing I did when I was able to get out and about. I never wanted to forget you, or what we had.”
“Not possible,” I whisper, because if he feels even half of what I do for him, forgetting about any of that will never happen.
“Never,” he whispers back as he leans towards me and places a gentle kiss against my temple.
“I want one.”
“One of what?”
“I want this tattoo. I want it on me forever, too.”
“Yeah?” he asks, a smile lighting up his face.
“I don’t know where, though.”
“Hmmm…I think I should explore and find the perfect place for it.” He pulls his arm from beneath me before diving under the covers.
“Jay,” I say with a laugh as he tickles my sides. That giggle soon turns into a gasp when I feel his tongue against my sensitive skin.
Chapter Four
It was sad to leave the place we spent Christmas, but I was excited to see Scotland once again. I’ve no idea how I managed to fit everything in the car to get up here, because it’s now a seriously tight squeeze.
“Okay, I think that’s everything.”
“Thank god for that. I thought we were going to have to strap Denny to the roof.”
Denny gives Jay a dirty look from the back of the car as he starts reversing off the driveway.
I tried to book us into the same places Jay and I stayed the first time we were up here, but as it was so last minute, I struggled.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
I’ve just about kept the plans to myself so far, but as we drive away from the cottage, it’s time to confess.
“Gretna Green.”
“We getting married?”
“No, I wasn’t that organised!”
“Stick it in the satnav then.”
“How long are we
driving for?” Denny asks from the back. He still hasn’t got over the long drive to get up here in the first place, so he’s less than impressed by another journey, even if he has his new tablet to play with.
“Not long,” I say, hoping it’ll pacify him until he gets distracted.
“Oh, I love this song,” I say, leaning forward and turning the volume up. Rita Ora’s voice fills the car and I continue before I start singing along. I see Jay glance over at me while I sing my heart out to her part of For You before I go quiet when Liam Payne takes over. I don’t expect him to, but suddenly Jay’s voice makes the music fade into the background as he sings lyrics that hit me deep. Everything about this song reminds me of him and what we’ve been through. A lump forms in my throat and tears sting my eyes. I just about pull myself together enough to continue our little rendition.
When the song comes to an end, Jay returns my stare. His eyes are dark and I know it hit him just as hard as it did me. I love you, he mouths to me before turning his attention back to the road.
“Other than the obvious addition, it feels like it was yesterday that we were here before,” Jay says as we come to a stop where we sat all those years ago, watching the newly married couple having their photographs taken.
“Did you really mean it when you asked me to marry you that day?”
“Yes. I knew the moment I saw you that you were different. That for whatever reason we were meant to meet, and that you were going to change my life,” he admits.
“You hardly knew me, yet you’d have committed yourself to me?” I’m not sure why I’m asking him to explain, because I felt exactly the same.
“I’d have dragged you in and said I do there and then. I wished so many times over the past few years that we could have. Things would have turned out so much differently if you were my wife.”
I stay silent as I think about what he just said. If I were his wife, I’d have been his next of kin. I’d have been the first to know he’d been injured, and I could have been there. We wouldn’t have lost those five years.
Jay suddenly tugging at my finger pulls me from my thoughts. “What are you—” I start to ask, but once he has what he wants, I watch as he lowers himself to the ground.
“Erin, will you do me the greatest honour of being my wife?”
It doesn’t matter that he’s already asked and that I’ve already said yes, because my heart pounds in my chest and butterflies go crazy in my stomach, like it’s the first time.
“Of course I will,” I laugh. He smiles his heart-stopping smile and slides my ring back into place on my finger.
I glance over to Denny, who’s stood beside us with a bemused look on his face. I’d love to know what he thinks about all of this. I did my best to explain everything that happened with Alex, how his dad was suddenly in his life and that we were a family, but I’m not convinced how well his five-year-old brain computed it all. I’m sure as the years go on he’ll have plenty of questions. When he notices my attention, a smile breaks across his face.
“Come on,” Jay says, tugging my arm.
“Where are we going?”
“To get married.”
“We can’t—”
“I know, you said last time. We need paperwork and stuff. We can totally book it though. What do you say?”
I stop dead on the spot. The second he realises I’m not following, he turns back to look at me. It looks like he’s about to plead his case, but I lose the fight to keep a straight face. “It’s perfect.”
He turns back and begins marching towards the building where all the couples seem to disappear into. He moves so fast that both Denny and I are practically running to keep up with him. Anyone would think he’s desperate to marry me.
Half an hour later, we have a date booked for me to become Mrs Jayden Baxter. I swear I have a constant smile on my face for the next three days. It seems we both have similar ideas for our upcoming nuptials, and I couldn’t be happier that Jay also wants something small—small might be the wrong word; I think tiny would be better. None of them know it yet but Frankie, Dean, and Arthur will be spending the anniversary of our first meeting up here in Gretna Green, watching us get married. I couldn’t think of anything more perfect than sharing it with them. We can only hope Frankie and Dean have got their shit together by then, otherwise it could be a little awkward, because with only three guests, they can’t exactly not turn up.
We stay in a hotel just outside Gretna Green for three days before we once again pack the car to continue to our last stop before heading back down south. I’d love to have longer on the road, but we need to make sure we’re home for Denny to start back at school in the new year.
“I think I know the answer to this question, but where are we spending New Year?” Jay asks as he buckles himself in and starts the engine.
“Where do you think?”
“I think we’re heading towards the home of the mother of all New Year’s celebrations, or should I say Hogmanay?”
“We could well be. I couldn’t get us tickets for any of the good stuff, but I thought just being able to see the fireworks over the castle would be worth it.”
“Definitely. Let’s do this then. We’ve got a new year and a new start to celebrate.”
Goosebumps cover my skin as I think about everything we have to celebrate and the future we have ahead of us as a couple—as a family.
The hotel is a little farther out of the city than I’d have liked, but it was the best I could do at such late notice. Edinburgh is buzzing with excitement of the impending celebrations, and I’m instantly reminded of why I loved it here so much the first time.
We drag Denny around the city, showing him things we enjoyed before, along with a couple of sights we didn’t manage to fit in. He looks about as unimpressed as every other child getting pulled from sight to sight. I remember it well from my childhood and I know for a fact it’s something he’ll look back fondly on in years to come, so I don’t feel too bad about it when he starts complaining his feet hurt after we realise we’re lost. Again.
New Year’s Eve, we planned to have a quiet day, mostly chilling out in our hotel room in the hope Denny would make it to midnight, as we’d have to head out if we wanted a decent view of the fireworks. He managed to have a short nap while we all watched TV, but it wasn’t enough for him not to be fighting his exhaustion before 10pm.
“Come on, let’s go. Hopefully the cold will wake us all up a bit.”
As we make our way out of the hotel, we find people dressed up to celebrate everywhere we look. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend tonight than stood out on a bitterly cold Scottish street with the most important people in my life.
“How much farther?” Denny complains.
“It’s only ten minutes until the fireworks, baby.”
He gave up walking quite a while ago and Jay’s been carrying him since. His arm must be killing by now, but he hasn’t complained once as we make our way closer to the action. The streets are packed with people waiting for the countdown to start.
I’m pretty sure I’ve never been as excited to see a new year in as I am right now. I’ve got so much to look forward to and I can’t wait for it to start.
I can almost taste the excitement as the time approaches. The second the first person shouts ten, chills run down my spine and goosebumps prick my skin.
“Nine…eight…seven…”
I look over to Jay to find him staring back at me. The love and admiration I can see in his eyes brings a lump to my throat.
I’m so grateful for our second chance. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the emotion that engulfs me as I think about being able to spend my life with him after thinking it had been ripped away from me five years ago.
“Three…two…”
I drag my eyes away from his and up to the sky.
“One.”
The first loud crack reverberates through us, and I see Denny lift his head from Jay’s shoulder just as the sky lights up wi
th a million colours and the crowd cheer and clap as they welcome in the new year.
I watch two more fireworks light up the sky before I feel Jay’s attention on me. Turning to look at him, my breath catches at the expression on his face.
His spare hand comes up and his fingers thread through my hair as he pulls me to him. My entire body ignites when our lips collide. It starts off sweet, but his tongue soon sweeps into my mouth and I press my body up against his side. People are still cheering and hollering around us and the fireworks bang and crack, but it all fades into the background as Jay kisses me.
The man who changed my life.
The man who made my life.
The man who is my life.
“Come on, I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“For me?”
“Yep.”
I watch as Jay grabs our coats before throwing them over to us. We eventually got back to our room sometime after 1am this morning, so we had a lie in, ordered room service, and stayed in bed. I wasn’t aware we had any plans, but it looks like we’re going out.
The first of January in Edinburgh is bitterly cold as we make our way down a cobbled street we’ve not been on before.
“Where are we going?” I ask for the millionth time. Most places are shut for the day; everyone’s probably still sleeping off their hangovers.
“We’re here,” Jay announces as he comes to a stop outside a dark shop.
I take two steps to see where we are, and my stomach turns over as nerves race through me. I know I said I wanted this, but now I’m stood here, I’m more scared than I expected.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I see the sign on the door. “It’s closed,” I say over my shoulder to Jay, hoping I don’t sound too relieved.
“No, it’s not. I organised this. They’re just not open to the public. Knock,” he encourages.
I do as he suggests and seconds after my knuckles hit the glass, a guy with a beard, piercings all over his face, and tattoos covering every bit of skin I can see unlocks the door.
“You must be Erin? I’m Carl.”
Everywhere & Nowhere Page 4
