“I could call Jared,” I interrupted. As much as I’d rather jump into a steaming vat of dog shit than spend the evening with Snickers, I think it was just what Emily needed. Loneliness sucks ass and I was more certain than anything that she didn’t deserve to know what it felt like.
“Hmm,” Snickers looked to be pondering. “Sure why not. It’s not like our address books are bursting at the seams.” Did she not like Jared or something? Wouldn’t surprise me. I was fairly certain she didn’t like anybody except Emily.
**********
Emily and I spent almost four hours on our research and now have a very organized file containing a range of external factors which could be seen to influence the mind of a criminal. Thankfully she didn’t suggest the one thing I was absolutely shitting my pants about – ‘Hey Dex, let’s Google our names!’ That game only ever ended in me faking a headache and getting the hell out of there, and bizarrely I didn’t want to leave Emily just yet.
Just as Emily was finishing up filing our research into alphabetical order (guess it’s a good job one of us is organized in the studying department) Jared arrived with a full crate of beer that he’d clearly stolen from work.
“Little help here?” he huffed, attempting to lower the crate. Snickers was obviously excluded from his plea and I just planned to laugh at him, until Emily stood up to help.
“I got it, doll,” I said, jumping in front of her. I took the crate and lowered it onto the floor effortlessly.
“Hey, it was fucking heavy okay?” Jared snapped, weighing up the three sets of smirks being thrown at him.
“Whatever, man. Your trouble is, rich boy, you’ve never been made to pick up anything heavier than your dick since the day you were born,” I retorted. Jared shot me his best derisive glare before dismissing me completely. I took that as me winning and sat back down.
“Is this it?” he asked, sounding disappointed as he glanced around the ‘party’. “I’ve brought enough booze to knock out a small army!”
“You don’t have to stay,” I sneered. I didn’t want to be here either – or at least I didn’t want to be here with anyone but Emily – but I had to suck it up and so should he.
“Hmm,” I think he meant to say but it came out more of a grunting sound. “Guess I’m here now.”
“Not for much longer if you don’t wipe that look off your miserable fucking face,” Snickers snapped. Can’t say I blamed her on this occasion. Jared waved his hands in the air, surrendering. Then somehow he managed to squeeze his ass in between mine and Emily’s on the faded leather couch.
“Why don’t you just sit on my lap?” I said to him, feeling irrationally irritated.
“’Cause that’d get you excited and I’m just not in the mood for a cock prodding tonight, mate.” Emily giggled which made the whole scenario worth it. Then an awkward silence followed where the only thing missing was some tumbleweed.
“Well you guys feel free to sit there being boring all bleeding night, but I’m getting this party started on my own,” Snickers grumbled, reaching into the crate and plucking out a beer.
“Chuck us one of those,” Jared joined in.
“I’m not your fucking waitress. Get your own,” she barked back. Huffing, he stood up to get his own and I seized my opportunity to scoot closer to Emily.
“Emily?” Jared asked, holding an extra beer out for her.
“I’m good thanks,” she replied, waving him off with her tiny hand.
“How about you, American?” Snickers interrupted.
“He doesn’t drink,” Jared answered before I had chance.
“What, like ever?” Snickers asked, wrinkling her nose in disbelief. I sniggered, amused at how shocking she found it and shook my head no. “Why?”
“Guess I’m just boring,” I blew her off, unprepared to explain the real reason behind my sobriety.
Emily interrupted then, switching the subject to Snickers’ latest art project – the one she arranged tonight for in an effort to get her hands on more empty beer bottles. For a moment I wondered if she could sense my uneasiness with where the conversation was heading and was trying to help me out, but then decided it was probably just coincidence. I’m an expert at hiding my emotions. There was no way she could’ve known.
A couple of hours in and the effects of the alcohol were quickly taking over Jared and Snickers. Their eyes were glassing over and their susceptibility to humor was at an all time high. At one point Snickers (and only Snickers) actually laughed when Jared came out with the line ‘hey, you hear about the fire in that Viagra factory last night? The place went up in no time.’
Most of the time Emily and I were silent, enjoying the show.
“Ooo that’s me,” Emily announced when her Adele ringtone started singing in the next room. She shot up from the couch and disappeared to get it. No one spoke in her short absence and it seemed we were all listening in for clues to who it might be.
“Where are you?” she asked, her sweet voice growing louder as she re-entered the room. “You’re not! Are you serious?” She was practically shaking with excitement as she ran towards the door, tripping on the shaggy pink rug and almost face-planting the almost empty crate of beers along the way. Instinctively I jumped up to help her but she just giggled and carried on. Jared, Snickers and I flashed each other equally intrigued glances and then Emily practically ripped the door off its hinges.
“Oh my God why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she squealed, throwing herself into the arms of a guy with the exact same shade of red hair as her.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he replied, returning her hug with equal affection. “You gonna let me in or what?” he added when Emily showed no signs of releasing him long enough to let him into the warm.
“Sorry,” she muttered, standing aside for him. “You find it okay?”
“Sure. Jane guided me straight here,” he replied, causing Emily’s eyebrow to shoot up. “SatNav,” he clarified.
“Chriiiiiiiis!” Snickers slurred once he was fully in the room. If I remembered correctly, Chris was Emily’s brother. I didn’t realize how tense I’d been feeling until the moment I remembered that, but I instantly relaxed. “You miss me, baby?”
“Always, Rach.”
Emily introduced us all to each other and from the death glare this Chris dude shot Jared, it was obvious he knew about the pair dating and it would seem he wasn’t happy about it. I kind of admired his protectiveness. The love he felt for Emily shone out of him the second he laid eyes on her.
The drinking went on for another couple of hours only now Chris had joined in too. He filled the room in on his recent promotion to head mechanic and then listened to Emily and Snickers re-live their first few weeks as college students. He ignored me and Jared completely. Didn’t even make eye-contact. In fact I’m pretty sure if he weren’t Emily’s brother, I’d think he was a jackass. Ah hell, I still think he’s a jackass.
Slowly but surely the drinkers’ batteries started to die. Jared was the first to crash – literally. As the night dwindled to a close his paralytic body lay in a crumpled heap on the floor by the coffee table. Rachel was next, slurring something about turning in before she choked to death in a pool of her own vomit. Nice. That left just me, Emily and the brother who refused to look at me. Yeah, that wasn’t uncomfortable at all.
“I need to crash, Emmie. I’m knackered from driving all this way,” Chris announced. At least I think that’s what he said. It was difficult to interpret through the giant yawn. I saw this as my cue to leave, assuming I was sitting on his bed for the night.
“I’ll get going too,” I uttered quietly to Emily.
“You don’t have to. Chris, you go and hop in my bed and I’ll sleep out here on the couch when Dex goes home.”
“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” Chris and I countered in unison. That was the first time we eyed one another up. It was like a silent standoff – glaring into each other’s eyes and trying to ascertain the genuineness
behind the other one’s protectiveness of Emily.
“It’s fine, doll. It’s late. You should get some sleep.” I rested my hand on her shoulder and the disgusted look from Chris didn’t go unnoticed.
“I’m a big girl and I’m saying I’m not tired yet,” she protested. “Chris, go to bed,” she ordered.
“I’m not leaving you alone with him,” he sneered. His eyes pierced mine and I could tell he wished he had laser powers in them so he could take me clean out. My eyes widened in response and my breath hitched. Was he just taking the whole Big Bro title to a ridiculous level, or did he know something about me?
“Chris!” Emily scolded.
“It’s fine, Em-” I interrupted but she clamped her hand over my mouth. Jesus Christ the feel of her flesh over my lips did crazy things to my insides. My heart started to beat so fast I was sure it was about to dive out of my mouth. Maybe the smell of the alcohol had somehow gotten me drunk.
“It’s not fine!” she snapped. “He’s my friend, Chris. A friend that you haven’t even tried to get to know while you’ve been here so don’t start spouting your overprotective brother crap on me now.” So she noticed?
“Whatever. This way yeah?” he asked pointing in the direction of Emily’s bedroom. Emily nodded and he walked – or should that be stumbled – down the hall, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry about Chris. He’s just looking out for me and he gets a little pissy when he’s drunk.” Hold the phone – did I just hear the word ‘pissy’ come out of those innocent lips of hers. I felt adamant that was the first time I’d heard her swear and for some peculiar reason, it kinda turned me on. Then I found myself wondering what other dirty words would sound like trickling out of them…
FRIEND. FRIEND. FRIEND.
“No problem, doll,” I assured her, settling back into the couch. “So what shall we talk about?” I asked teasingly. She wanted me here and I was curious as to why.
“We could play the question game?” I tensed automatically. I didn’t like the sound of that game. “I’m not even sure if it’s a real game, but Rachel and I have been playing it since we were little. It’s basically just an excuse to pass the time by taking turns to ask stupid questions. And you can’t ask the same question as the other.”
‘Stupid’ questions. That I could do.
“Sure. You go first.”
“Hmm, gimme a minute.” She chewed on her bottom lip while she pondered and I couldn’t draw my eyes away from it. I was starting to think I was losing my mind. “Got it!” she declared proudly. “Have you ever gone a whole day without wearing any underwear?”
“Seriously. That’s your question?” Yeah, I could definitely handle this game.
“Just answer it.”
“Then yes. Today in fact.”
“You’re lying!”
“I can prove it if you’d like,” I teased, reaching for my zipper. This game was gonna be fun.
“Erm, no need for that… I’ll take your word for it.” Her soft cheeks pinked and she looked down to her knees. It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “Your turn.” She was so easy to embarrass and I could see I was about to have a helluva lot of fun.
“Have you ever had the pleasure of experiencing a multiple orgasm?” And there she went… instantaneously her pink cheeks turned redder than her hair.
“You can’t ask questions like that!”
“The rules say I can ask whatever I want and that you have to answer.”
“I never said that was a rule,” she pointed out, unable to look directly at me.
“Well I’m making it one. So?” She started chewing on that perfectly plump bottom lip of hers and I was starting to interpret that as a sign she was flustered. Weirdly, I felt kinda proud I had that effect on her.
“No. My turn.” She choked the word so quietly I barely heard it. That was a travesty. This girl is special. She deserves to be treated as such. Jared was a fucking idiot for letting her go.
“Have you ever had any piercings?” she asked, double-checking my ears. Damn she was about to blush again and she had no freakin’ idea.
“I have four piercings,” I said, trying desperately hard not to grin.
“Have?” she asked, searching my face with her eyes. Instead of telling her where I kept them, I looked down. “Oh my God you haven’t!”
“I can prove it if you’d like?” I teased just like before. And of course… she blushed. I win!
“I believe you,” she rushed out, shaking her head. “Now ask me something nice or I’m not playing.”
“Aww sowwy pwincess. Am I upsetting you?” I said as if talking to a baby. She pouted at me and I laughed louder than intended, causing Jared’s lifeless body to stir on the floor but thankfully not wake up. Hmm, something nice…
I didn’t know if it would be classed as ‘nice’ but nevertheless it was something I genuinely wanted to know so I asked it anyway.
“What are you running from?” I whispered, the atmosphere around us turning thick and serious.
“What do you mean?” she answered, her baby-blue eyes widening in what looked like surprise.
“You never talk about your life before you came here. And it’s obvious how much you’ve missed your brother so why did you move so far away from him? There are plenty of universities in the north.” I swear she was gonna make that bottom lip of hers bleed if she chewed it any harder.
“I came with Rachel. Apparently The University of London offers the best art program in the country and she needs someone with her. What with her disability and everything.” She was lying I knew she was. You don’t need to be best friends with Rachel to know that she doesn’t need anybody. She is stronger and more independent than anyone I’ve ever met before. Plus her eyes were looking anywhere but at mine. So why would she lie to me? “My turn,” she added before I had the opportunity to respond.
“Why don’t you drink?” This game wasn’t so much fun anymore. But I guess I’d brought it all on myself with my ridiculous need to discover what was going on behind those beautiful, troubled eyes of hers. My instinctive reaction was to make something up but then I figured this was my perfect chance to push her away. If she knew the truth, she would most likely kick me out, and as much as I didn’t want that to happen, it would eventually. I no longer saw the point of delaying the inevitable.
“Because I’m a recovering addict,” I admitted, looking her straight in the eyes and awaiting her disgusted reaction. But it never came. Her lips parted ever so briefly and she inhaled a gentle breath.
“So you were an alcoholic?” she asked cautiously. I could’ve just nodded and wrapped this thing up there and then, but instead I thought fuck it – why stop now?
“I’m an everything-a-holic, doll. Always will be. It’s not something you ever get better from, just something you learn to control.”
“Everything as in… drugs?” This was it. She was definitely gonna kick my ass out now.
“Yeah. You name it I’ve tried it. But it was the alcohol and cocaine which landed me in rehab. I just got out in the spring. That’s why I’m here I guess. Completely new start away from all the shit that took over my life,” I admitted, still staring intently into her eyes – as if I was trying to see what she was thinking.
I waited patiently for her snap. Or for her to get up and open the door for me to leave. But… she didn’t. And I didn’t understand why.
“Wow,” she sighed. “And your parents are okay with you moving thousands of miles away after everything you’ve been through?” I may have been honest so far but my parents were one issue I would never be willing to discuss with her – with anyone.
“My parents are dead.”
“God, I’m so sorry,” she condoled. But I didn’t want her pity so I quickly changed the subject.
“McDonald’s or KFC?” She looked a little confused for a second but then caught on to what I was doing. Running from the truth…
“McDonalds. Custard or ice cream?”
> “Ice cream every time. Sweet or savory?”
“Savory. Summer or winter?”
“Summer.” You don’t see many barely dressed chicks in the winter do you? “Cat or dog?”
“Dog…”
The game had become fun again and we went on asking pointless questions for over an hour. By the end of it I was pretty sure I knew this girl better than anyone I’d ever known before in my life. And despite her only scratching the surface, she definitely knew me better than anyone I’d ever met before too. Apart from Aunt Sarah of course.
By 4 AM Emily was fast asleep, sat up on the couch with her legs sprawled across my lap. Gently, I shuffled free and rolled myself on to the floor before lying her down and covering her over with a comforter thrown over the back of the cushions. I knelt down beside her, unable to move – staring at her like some kind of fucking stalker.
Her fiery hair was settled across one side of her face, billowing ever so slightly every time she let out a breath. Before I could stop them my fingers were reaching out to touch her cheek. I knew it was creepy and I told myself to stop it but I just… couldn’t.
I brushed two fingers along her jaw, for no other reason than I wanted to know if the skin there felt as soft as it looked. It did. Then I stroked the lock of hair that was sticking to her lips away and tucked it behind her ear.
“G’night, doll,” I whispered before giving in to the urge to touch her once more and smoothing the back of my hand down her exposed cheek. Her eyes began to flicker and I couldn’t tell if it was because she was stirring or dreaming but I jumped swiftly to my feet, stepped over a passed out Jared and headed out for my bike, making sure to close the door gently behind me.
I found myself smiling as I straddled Jenny. One of those genuine smiles that you couldn’t stop appearing even if you wanted to. The type that make your jaw ache. How the fuck did this happen? I came here expecting – no not expecting, planning, to keep myself to myself. I swore I wouldn’t let anyone in. Promised myself I wouldn’t give myself the opportunity to hurt anyone.
Take My Hand Page 10
