by Trina M. Lee
There was nothing I could do to change how we’d gotten to where we were. Nothing to change what would come. All I could do was show him in every touch what he meant to me.
Every flick of my tongue, he flinched. Playfully I teased him until he begged me to stop. Desire emanated from him, taunting my hunger. I brought him to the edge again and again, and then all the way over.
“You are fucking dynamite.” Eyes heavy, arms shaking ever so slightly, Kale pulled me to his chest. A hand on my face, he kissed me. “You know how amazing you are, right? There’s no one like you, Alexa.”
I rolled my eyes and smirked, settling in beside him. “Is that a good thing? It doesn’t always feel like one.”
“Of course it is. Don’t be like that. You can’t define yourself by your screw ups. You have so much to offer this world.” Stroking a finger beneath my chin. Kale searched me, his expression grave. “And don’t let this world tell you otherwise.”
“Kale—”
He pressed a finger over my lips. “I know you don’t want to talk, but there are things I have to say. Now. Here. Alone with you. Hear me out?” He waited for my nod before continuing. “I don’t blame you for anything. I love you. I have since you were newly recruited by Veryl. All I want going forward is for you to be happy. To find your personal truth. Whatever that happens to be.”
Kale propped himself up on an elbow, leaning over me, a hand on my cheek. “Think of me fondly. But only for a little while. Don’t let my death make you afraid to live. You’re not done here yet. Not by a longshot.”
A sharp pain stole my voice. The wound cut across my soul, shredding ribbons from the place where my love lived. How would I let him go?
Again I tried to say his name, but it came out as an anguished cry.
He sat up straighter, pulling me up with him until we sat facing one another in the middle of the bed. “Take care of Jez. I know you will, but I worry about how she’ll handle all this when it’s over. You two are the only people left in this world that I care about.” Taking my hand, Kale traced a fingertip over the mark of Shya’s curse etched into my palm. “It’s been a gift to know you, but it’s been my saving grace to love you.”
I shook my head, unable to comprehend. I’d made him miserable, awakened his madness. How could I have saved him from anything? “Can you truly love a succubus?” My voice trembled as I asked the question that haunted me in my darkest place. “How can you know if what you feel is real or merely their allure?”
Falon had once asked if my lovers truly love me or if they live beneath a constant cloud of my manipulation. I’d be lying if I said that hadn’t caused me some doubts.
“I loved you before you became this powerhouse vampire queen. Remember that. The rest of you, it poured fuel on an already dangerous fire. But I chose to burn, Alexa. For you. For who you are, not what you are.” So certain Kale was in his declaration as he kissed me.
So certain I had to be as well if I wanted to survive the coming nights.
I flung my arms around his neck. Kissing him hard, with the urgency of tears that would not come, I climbed into his lap. “You will take a piece of me with you when you go,” I whispered against his lips.
Sliding a hand up my spine, Kale grasped the back of my neck. Holding me tight against him, he claimed my mouth. Beneath me he grew hard once again. Eager for him, I adjusted so I could take him inside me.
My hands found his hair, my lips on his. Drawing on that saccharine vibe, I dove in headlong, determined to drown in all he was. With a gasp I moved atop him. I threw my head back, holding onto his shoulders. He kissed my neck and I braced, expecting his bite.
Like the last time I’d bared my throat to him, he denied himself.
I shoved him down on the bed so I could stare down into his handsome face. Into those fascinating eyes.
“Do you want me?” I asked, my voice breathy and thin.
I slid along his rigid length, slowly. And then faster. Making him suck his breath in on a hiss and let it out with a curse.
“I always want you,” he said between groans. “But I don’t want tonight to be about that obsession.” Though he craved it, he refused my blood. To preserve the sanctity of our last time together. He needed our union to mean something more.
So I did my part by relinquishing my hold on the power thickening the atmosphere. It flowed around us like winds of love and desire, fear and finality. And I left it untouched, allowing it to carry us along rather than trying to direct its flow.
Holding my hips, Kale thrust up into me. My cry filled the room, likely spilling out into the hall. His adoring gaze roved over my body, drinking in the sight of me writhing atop him. I dragged a hand down his chest, and he captured it in his, threading his fingers between mine. If I could just hold tight enough, maybe he’d never slip away.
The hours ticked by. The night bled into day.
Just before dawn, as we lay in a tangle of limbs and sheets, I felt him outside the door.
Arys.
Fear crashed over me. He’d do something hateful to ruin this moment. I braced for it, certain of his wrath. Beside me Kale pressed his face to my hair, his arm tightening around my waist.
But Arys moved on. Leaving me to seek solace in my forbidden lover’s arms.
For the very last time.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
A jittery mess, I felt ready to snap.
Hands tight on the steering wheel, I navigated the gravel road to Shya’s sprawling modern home. Currently occupied by Gabriel, seeing as Shya sat imprisoned inside a stone in an angel’s possession. That damn demon had marked me here, at this house, cursed me to join him every full moon so he could beat me senseless and leave me shattered.
That curse would also be broken here. At midnight. The witching hour, or so they said, but to me it was more of a demon hour.
“Someone really needs to burn this place to the ground,” I muttered, pulling into the driveway.
I’d come early and alone. To speak with Gabriel. To learn exactly how it would be done.
Kale and Jez were together now. Having their moment. They’d be here by midnight.
I didn’t expect a big gathering. No wild fanfare. Kale Sinclair would be missed by many, but he’d been truly loved by very few.
Arys and I hadn’t spoken. Because I’d spent every moment leading up to this in Kale’s bed. Arys’s absence left me hollow and a bit crazed. Or maybe that was the sense of impending doom.
In a black tank top and thick, fleece-lined leggings, I approached the house. The Dragon Claw hung from my hip. The freezing night air didn’t touch me. Merely a mildly uncomfortable background sensation, it failed to rouse my attention from the growing pit of despair eating away at what little remained of my composure.
I rang the doorbell before reaching for the knob. The door was unlocked, and I stepped into Shya’s large, dark foyer. Light shone from the living room beyond.
For a split second I stood in the stone with him. The abuse. Suffering as he tormented my mind, body, and soul. That still paled in comparison to my purpose here, to the anguish that racked me over what I’d come here to do.
I found Gabriel seated in the middle of Shya’s white couch, eyes glued to the big screen TV mounted above the fireplace. His thumbs flew over a game controller. Vampire or not, he was not so different from the average twenty-year-old. Turned at nineteen, he would always have his youth. His love for video games? Well, that was debatable.
“Hey, kid, we need to talk about tonight.” I eyed the squishy armchair, opting instead to stand. I couldn’t sit down anyway. Hyper jitters ran through my body.
“Yeah, for sure. Just give me a sec.” Gabriel didn’t so much as glance my way. The game held him captive. “I kind of wanted to talk to you about something too.”
“Yeah? Well, me first. And hurry up with that thing. I don’t have all night.” No, I did not. The clock on the stove mocked me. The bright-green numbers marked me a minute closer to the moment ever
ything would change.
I paced from the living room to the kitchen and back again. Just when I considered tearing the controller from his hands, Gabriel set it down and stood up.
“Tell me how it’s done.” I almost choked on the words. “Tell me how I break this curse.”
“Pretty straight forward. You cause the death of someone you love. The curse will recognize that death and that love. Full moon because Shya tied the curse to your wolf. Midnight because all power is heightened then. You know the drill.” Gabriel peered at me from behind a curtain of tousled black hair. “Are you ok?”
Ignoring his question, I clutched the back of Shya’s armchair, mildly satisfied when my claws gouged holes in the expensive fabric. “And there’s no other way to break it? You’re sure?”
He regarded me, wary, like he feared he stood too close to an explosive charge set to go off. “Knowing Shya, this is the only way to break it. But want me take a look?” Holding out a hand, he let me come to him. Gabriel seemed to understand that I walked a fragile, frayed tightrope.
Eventually it would snap. And I’d come crashing down.
I offered him my hand. He placed his own over mine so we were palm to palm. Immediately a tingle rose in the center of my hand. His eyes closed, and the tingle grew into a pleasant vibration.
Painfully tense, I waited for him to confirm what Nova had said. He would. Because there could be no easy way out of this. Shya would have made sure of that.
Gabriel frowned, then he nodded. Finding what he sought? Or seeing something else? A vision? When he blinked his brown eyes at me, they stayed calm. Neutral. Revealing nothing. He was getting pretty good at that.
“It’s solid.” Gabriel pulled his hand from mine and stepped back. “Pretty typical curse for Shya. A gut puncher for sure. Sorry, Alexa.”
“So there’s no other way.” I nodded. “Of course not. I knew that.”
“I wouldn’t lie about this. You know you can trust me, right?” Fidgeting with the leather bracelet he wore, Gabriel studied me in quick glances.
Nope. I did not know that. Staring at Shya’s mark in my palm, I traced a finger over the swirls. “It’s all good, kid. Don’t worry about it.”
“You still don’t trust me. I know I brought it on myself, but if you’d just give me a chance, I could prove myself.” Striding across the room, Gabriel turned off the TV and video game console. It felt like he wanted distance between us. “And I’m not a kid. You’ve got to stop seeing me that way. I mean, does age mean anything for me anymore?”
My entire body hummed with anxious energy. I’d have gotten away from me too if I were him. It probably felt like an assault on the senses.
I pondered his question. “Yes, it still means something. It’s just different now.”
In the grand scheme of things, the seven and a half years between us meant nothing. A hundred years from now it wouldn’t even register. But a hundred years from now, I’d probably still be calling him kid. Providing nobody had gotten the drop on either of us by then. And supposing Gabriel didn’t give me a reason to kill him.
“What did you see?” I asked, changing the subject. “When you touched me just now.”
“Nothing.” He turned away when he said it, like that might make his lie an easier sell.
Whatever. I had enough shit on my plate already. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
I stalked over to the big picture window that looked out on the pool and the massive backyard. The pool was empty now, the grass snow covered. I swallowed hard, staring at the treeline at the edge of the property.
The glass chilled my fingertips. Kale would be here soon. If I left now I wouldn’t have to create my worst memory. I could disappear. I could shift now and run. Away. Leave Kale and the breaking of my curse behind. For another month. It would mean another visit to Shya, which I preferred to this anguish.
“You keep me on the outside, Alexa.” Gabriel startled me out of my thoughts. Hands in his pockets, he stood in the middle of the living room. “I want to be part of your inner circle. You need me. I can be a valuable asset. Give me a chance.”
Turning to face him I found a confident young vampire in the place where an awkward teenage boy had so recently been. When the hell did that happen, and where was I?
Intrigue lurked in his dark stare. Focusing in on the steady hum of power cloaking him like a second skin, I couldn’t help the way my flesh warmed.
“When you say inner circle…?” I picked my way around his question. “What exactly does that mean?”
Unflinching, he inclined his head to one side, assessing me. “I don’t know. I just want in. In whatever way you’ll have me.”
Was this kid asking to join my so-called harem? Purposely vague, he left me to make assumptions. Erring on the side of caution, I decided that couldn’t be what he’d meant. And I pretended not to see him look at my breasts and then my jugular.
Gabriel’s knowledge of magic in its many forms and especially demon magic proved to be an asset. And even though he’d learned to keep some of his visions to himself, his precog abilities could be valuable too. They could also be destructive. Yet freezing him out would be a mistake.
“You’re a liability, Gabriel. Sorry, but that’s the harsh truth.” I held his gaze, daring him to break eye contact. If he wanted me to stop thinking of him as a kid, then he had to be able to take what I threw at him. “I know you’re valuable, but there’s two sides to that coin. Give me time.”
He shook his head and pressed his lips into a tight, thin line. He wanted to push the subject but seemed to be aware of his shitty timing. “Fine. Whatever.”
A niggling little snippet of guilt ate at me. I sighed. “I’m sorry, kid. I’m a little preoccupied.”
“I get that. It’s cool. I shouldn’t have brought it up right now.”
“Tell me about the spell Briggs used. The one that turned that kid into a zombie.” Once I got Gabriel talking, I could debate taking off while nodding and commenting here and there.
“Don’t run.” Gabriel nodded toward the backyard. “You’ll hate yourself if you do.”
Yeah, the kid had certainly matured fast in recent months. I had to hand that to him. He’d taken a lot of crap, mostly from Shya, and he’d come out the other side, maturing and fighting to prove himself. I could respect that.
My focus landed on the empty pool. “Are there any of us left who hasn’t taken shit from Shya?” I didn’t expect an answer. The rising moon shone down upon the backyard, bathing it in a silver glow that made me ache.
“All the more reason to trust each other. Because at some point, that motherfucker will be back.” Gabriel’s words rang with an ominous truth.
I pinned him with a deadly glare. “Do you know that for sure? Have you seen it?”
He threw both hands up and shook his head. “No, I swear I haven’t. But it’s Shya. We’d be idiots to think otherwise.”
Before I could respond, a noise at the front entry drew our attention. The door opened, and Jez entered, Kale right behind her. The black smudges of mascara beneath Jez’s eyes punched me right in the chest. I can’t do this.
Unable to look at either of them just yet, I turned back to the view of the yard and the empty pool. Gabriel fetched Jez a glass of wine from Shya’s personal stash. She shook her head at him and reached for the bottle instead.
Kale lingered by Jez. His drifting energy held a calm vibe. Absolutely at ease. He was ready.
“Are you sure you want to stay?” Kale asked, bumping Jez’s elbow when she drained half the wine bottle in a few swallows. “You don’t have to. I understand if you’d rather leave.”
She gasped for breath after chugging so much wine. “Are you friggin’ kidding me? I’m not going anywhere.”
I didn’t need to glance at the clock on the stove to know that our time ran short. I felt it in my blood. She could stay. She should stay. Because nobody else was coming.
“We should do this outsid
e.” My voice sounded detached. Hollow. “In the moonlight.”
“Now?” Jez blinked in disbelief. “Already?”
I met her worried gaze, wishing I could say or do something to reassure her. But I couldn’t. “Soon.” When I felt the pangs of the curse ripping at my insides.
It would have to happen before the forced shift. As the moon rose higher in the sky, I knew it wouldn’t be long now.
Kale slid open the patio door. A gust of icy wind blasted inside, and Jez shuddered, reaching for him. He slid an arm around her, but his gaze fixed on me.
Nothing in his beautiful eyes suggested he was anything less than ready to leave this world behind. To leave me behind. I knew that wasn’t what this was about, but it saddened me a little to see his peaceful acceptance, even though I should’ve been relieved.
“Shall we?” Holding tight to Jez, Kale stepped into the backyard, pulling her with him.
My feet were heavy. I couldn’t follow. Didn’t want to. I shook my head, unable to speak. Unable to scream.
Jez glanced back at me with eyes that shimmered with pure wildcat. Fear shone in her emerald orbs. It echoed inside me.
The moon called forth her beast, as it would to mine. Any fucking moment now.
I just kept shaking my head. The scream trapped inside me grew painful, a stab in my throat.
Shit. No, that was the curse.
It pulled on my wolf, forcing her to come snarling out of me, ready to kill anyone unlucky enough to be in my path.
Time was up.
A sharp stab through my guts got my feet moving. I lurched through the patio door to join them in the backyard, panicked now. If I didn’t break the curse in time, everyone here would be in danger.
“It’s happening, isn’t it?” Voice thick with emotion, Jez clutched both Kale and the wine bottle.
“Yes.” To Kale I said, “I don’t want to do this.”
He nodded, expecting this last protest. Kissing Jez on the forehead, he tugged gently on her ponytail. “Remember what we talked about. You are a fucking badass, and God help anyone who pisses you off. I love you.”
