The room where he and Cat had lived for over fifty years was stripped and the walls moved with Yennifer’s help. No one asked him for his help.
Once the work was done, Bedivere kept his word and added a bed and a couple of shelves for his reading material and that was all. In the meantime, everyone got on with their lives around him.
Time, the only reliable thing in his life, moved on.
Eventually, he found he could spend longer and longer amounts of time out among people. He could even walk the streets and corridors of the city, letting the streams of humans and Varkan wash around him.
The parks in the core city were a personal retreat. He had a favorite park bench where he liked to sit and stare at the ripples the fish in the stream caused as they fed. He could spend time there, disconnected from his digital core and simply…watch. He suspected that what he was doing was akin to a human meditating, except that he didn’t have to practice to quiet his mind. Simply shutting down all but the essential data flow did the same thing.
His days were filled with exercising to rehabilitate, eating, sleeping and when he wasn’t tired enough to sleep and wasn’t interested in sitting in the park, he distracted himself with meaningless research into the mysteries of the Silent Sector. There must have been some reason why he had headed there, even though he couldn’t remember it. He suspected it was because he could be anonymous and unknown there, just like he had once been in the Fringes, before they had disappeared. Whatever the answer might be, looking into the odd quirks of that section of the galaxy and some of the myths and stories that had built up around it passed the time.
The days slipped by in peaceful co-existence.
Until Yennifer announced that Cat was returning to Charlton.
* * * * *
Yennifer had full access to the suite, so she slipped into the room late one night. Lilly and Brant were already in their suite. Connell had found a flick and had it playing on a heads-up between the sofas. He hadn’t asked Bedivere if he wanted to watch it, although Bedivere had been gradually drawn toward the story playing out by the sounds and dialogue, until he gave up and sat at the other end of the sofa and fully committed to watching.
Through the display he saw Yennifer slip in the front door. She only opened the door just enough to move through the opening. As she was tiny to begin with, the door barely budged.
Bedivere glanced at Connell. He was still immersed in the story. So Bedivere got to his feet and met Yennifer halfway between the sofas and the door. She looked up at him, her expression troubled. “I was hoping Lilly would still be awake.”
“There’s no one but me here to speak to,” Bedivere told her. “What couldn’t wait until morning, or be sent by text?”
She pressed her lips together. “I just processed a docking request. The Hana Stareach is due in two days’ time.”
His innards jumped, is if he had touched a live wire. “Here?” His voice was hoarse.
Yennifer was watching him, her gaze roaming over his face, looking for clues to his reaction. “Yes, here,” she said softly. Her tiny hand rested on his arm.
The sounds from the story halted. “Who is here?” Connell asked. He came over to where they were standing.
“The Hana Stareach,” Yennifer told him.
Connell’s eyes widened and a smile formed. “Devlin Woodward is coming back? That’s…wow, staggering news. I don’t think he’s been back here since—” His words cut off and his face fell as he realized what he was about to say.
Bedivere drew in a breath and let it out. “Since Catherine left,” he finished. “You can say it.”
Connell pushed back his hair with a nervous scrape of his fingers. “Wake Lilly and Brant and tell them,” he told Yennifer. “They’ll want to know before everyone else does.”
“Docking requests aren’t usually made public,” Yennifer pointed out. “And I’ve told them,” she added.
“You think this arrival isn’t going to leak by tomorrow morning? You’ve got dozens of people between you and the docking bay who have to know the ship is inbound,” Connell pointed out. “You might not say anything. Something this big, though…someone in that chain won’t be able to help themselves.”
“He’s right,” Brant said from the door to their private suite. “This will be all over the city before breakfast. Yennifer, I hope you gave them the biggest bay we have?”
“The largest is for cargo handling,” she pointed out.
“E Dock on the sun side?” he asked. “Give it to them anyway. You don’t think that entire observation deck won’t be filled with people when they land?”
Bedivere went to bed then, even though he wasn’t tired. There might well be thousands thronging the observation deck of E Dock to watch the Hana Stareach land. He wouldn’t be one of them.
* * * * *
Bedivere worked out in the gym for almost two days straight, driving his body as close to exhaustion as he could get, then falling gratefully asleep, only to wake some time later and start all over again.
By staying in the gym or his room, he managed to avoid most of the hysteria and public announcements about the Hana’s arrival and the events that had spontaneously coalesced around it.
The local feeds ran archived biopics and biographies on Devlin’s life and work, all his achievements and his future ambitions. The city obsessed about Devlin Woodward. There were nearly ten thousand people living in Charlton or registered as residents. More than half of them were Varkan, who plied their first trade, transport, using Charlton as their base of operations, the reason for the city exoskeleton being a honeycomb of docking bays. Most of the Varkan who used the city as a base managed to find their way back there over the next two days, so that the corridors and public areas became clogged.
“I hadn’t realized how much the city had grown,” Brant muttered when he returned to the suite on the second day, only a few hours before the Hana’s scheduled arrival. “There are people I don’t even recognize, let alone know. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”
“I know them all,” Yennifer said, with a small smile.
“Nevertheless, we may have to revisit immigration control once this is all over,” Lilly remarked. “Remind me about that, please, Yennifer.”
Bedivere couldn’t find an isolated place in the parks anymore. There were people everywhere. So he retreated to the unadorned room where he slept and that was where Connell found him.
The big wall of glass had not been removed during the stripping, so the room still looked out over the park area and when he didn’t keep the window polarized and shielded, the sunlight blazed with artificial warmth. He had left the windows unpolarized this time, not minding the dazzle of the light.
Connell sat on the floor in front of him and crossed his legs to match Bedivere’s posture.
Bedivere opened his eyes. Connell was staring at him steadily, his green eyes puzzled.
“Why aren’t you at E Dock?” Bedivere asked. “The ship will dock in the next six minutes.”
“I don’t need to be somewhere I can watch through the feeds. I thought…I suspected you might like the company.”
Bedivere sighed. “Everyone else has left, then,” he concluded. No one had tried to talk him into going with them. “You should go. There’s no need for you to miss out.”
“I won’t.” Connell grimaced and shifted his legs, recrossing them. “This is the most comfortable spot you could find?”
“Comfort isn’t the point.”
“What is the point?”
“Distraction.”
Connell tilted his head and a thick fringe of hair fell across the corner of his eye. “Distraction from what?”
“From myself.”
* * * * *
Even though she couldn’t hear anything through two walls of steel glass, Catherine could see that there were thousands of people gathered on the big observation deck of the docking bay, watching the Hana maneuver to line up with the clamps and drop gra
cefully down onto the pad. From the way those watching through the glass were gesturing and waving, she suspected they were cheering and calling out.
Her heart squeezed.
“Bedivere isn’t out there, you realize,” Devlin said softly, from behind her.
She swiveled the navigator’s chair around to face him. “I know that.” Devlin meant that Bedivere was not here on Charlton. Except he was. He just wouldn’t be anywhere near the dock. He wouldn’t be here to greet the arrival of the Hana.
Devlin tugged his jacket down and straightened his collar. “They’re probably waiting down in the dock by now,” he pointed out. “Shall we?”
Catherine got to her feet. Unlike Devlin, she had not made any effort to dress up or make herself presentable beyond her normal effort. It wasn’t her everyone was here to see, anyway.
Even so, her heart lurched as they stepped out onto the external stairs and a cheer went up from the observation deck. The protective shields had been lowered and now she could hear the crowd just fine.
There was a small group of people waiting a dozen paces inside the big dock doors. Only the man-sized door within the doors was open right now and there were two large men standing there, controlling who entered. They weren’t armed and that pleased Catherine.
Devlin was already heading toward the small welcoming committee. Catherine was forced to follow or be left standing in the middle of the docking bay floor by herself. Everyone else, including Devlin’s personal assistant and the Varkan pilots, were following him.
She caught up with them as they reached the waiting group.
Lilly was standing in front of all of them. She was wearing one of her more outrageously gorgeous outfits, something flowing and long and that made the most of her figure. Her curls were all piled on top of her head and her makeup accentuated her large eyes.
Devlin smiled at her. “Lilly Washmaster, you honor us all with this…welcome.” He glanced up at the observation deck. The noise had intensified as soon as they walked down the stairs and was not letting up at all.
“It is good to have the Hana Stareach visit us here in Charlton,” Lilly told him. “Although I would have preferred a quiet conversation in the suite, it wasn’t my choice to make. People have a way of making their own minds up about such things here.”
“I’m starting to remember that,” Devlin told her gravely. “Freedom of choice.”
“Freedom in all things,” Lilly corrected him. “Along with the associated responsibilities.”
“Including the responsibility to figure out how to live, eat and breathe in a free world. Yes. The Varkan philosophy.” He smiled again and this time, his smile seemed even warmer. “It is good to be back in the heart of Varkan territory again.”
“Will you be staying with us long, Devlin?” Lilly asked. “Your dock request was open-ended.”
“I have no immediate plans,” Devlin said. “This is the closest to a vacation I and my crew can get away with. Anywhere else, we would be caught up in business in a minute. Here, we can relax among like-minded people. If you don’t mind?”
Lilly’s smile was warm and Catherine wondered if she was the only one to sense the hesitation and doubt behind it. There was a shadow in Lilly’s eyes. The smile, though, looked completely genuine. “Of course you are welcome to stay as long as you want. Charlton will be honored.”
Devlin reached back and caught Catherine’s arm and drew her forward. “I’ve taken up too much of your time and attention already,” he told Lilly. “It’s Catherine’s turn to say hello to her friends.”
* * * * *
“How much do you know about Darzi?” Bedivere asked Connell.
Connell looked down at his hands, resting on his lower legs. “I’ve done some reading. I’d never heard of it until we went looking for you.”
“No one in the core worlds has heard of it. Addictions of any sort are so simple to treat these days that no one really gives them any thought. However, out in the fringe worlds—”
“There are no fringes anymore,” Connell pointed out. “Everyone has free access to the datacore.”
“You and I both know that is only the official truth,” Bedivere said patiently. “The fringes still exist. Not on the unconnected edges of the galaxy, but all around us, sliding beneath and between the civilized and safe worlds. You’ve been there. You found me there.”
Connell studied him. “Dark worlds. Still connected to the core, yet they’re places no one in their right minds would go.”
“High risk worlds. Non-terra. Places where people can shrug off their histories and take new ones. Then there are all the people who don’t mind taking advantage of desperation. They use people who have reasons to hide or escape to further their profits.”
“Like you?” Connell’s pale eyes studied him frankly.
Bedivere sighed. “I don’t know. I still can’t remember why I ended up there. Although I’m starting to understand why I can’t remember.”
“Darzi?”
Bedivere nodded. “It’s a fringe invention. A sedative so addictive that one dose is enough to set up the addiction cycle. I only found that out later, of course. By then it was too late for me. Here, where longevity therapy is so advanced, it might not be such an issue, if you get treatment fast enough. Any sort of therapy beyond the most basic medicine is impossible to find out there.”
“So you stay addicted,” Connell said softly.
“The slow-go makes you not care too much about that. You don’t really care about anything, except when you get your next dose.” Bedivere shrugged.
“You’ve regenerated since then,” Connell pointed out. “You would have left the addiction behind in the old body.”
“The physical addiction, yes. Darzi is psychologically addictive. Powerfully so, because it messes with your memories. All the logic you can use to talk yourself out of taking it…the Darzi interferes with the higher reasoning functions of the brain. It clogs your memories so you don’t recall a better life, or reasons to stop. Everything gets shut down, so that you’re just moving through the current moment, doing whatever it takes to earn your next dose.”
Connell leaned back on his hands, propping himself up. “You’re still addicted…” His voice was rough, uneven.
“If I can recover my memories, that will help. The more I live through my days and create new and normal memories, the weaker the attraction grows. Abnormal stress on the other hand, excitement, any of the stronger emotions…the emotions the Darzi muffles to make you not care—those emotions trigger cravings.”
Connell stared at him. Horror was making his jaw sag. He’d lost color. “That’s…hideous,” he breathed. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” Bedivere said. “Lilly would still be unhappy with me. You would still not have spoken to me. Brant would still feel moralistically superior. Even more so, perhaps.” Bedivere grimaced. “And Cat would still be gone.”
“We would have been kinder!” Connell cried. “We would have been more understanding. Gentler!” His distress was almost a physical thing, making him shift on the floor.
“You don’t understand,” Bedivere said. “Not yet. All the things you have done. All the anger, the frustration, all the stressors…every time I live through them and not give in to the cravings, they make it just a little bit easier to resist the next time.”
“You mean, wanting to beat the crap out of you…that helps?” His horror was climbing.
Bedivere threaded his fingers together. He wasn’t surprised to find his hands were shaking. That was usually a sign. “It’s a delicate balance,” he explained. “Some stress, some emotions, just the right amount, that stir the cravings but let me resist them…that helps. It builds my immunity. Too much stress or the wrong sort of emotions and the cravings become unbearable.”
“So you go to sleep when they do?” Connell asked, suddenly putting it together.
“Or meditate. Whatever it takes to
disconnect from this body and the physical reactions to emotions.”
“You withdraw to Interspace when you sleep?” Connell asked curiously. “Still?”
“Not for…” He stopped and sighed. “Not when Catherine was sleeping beside me,” he said, making himself say it. “Even now, sleep is an escape.”
“Catherine…” Connell whispered. “She’s arriving here today with him. She’s probably already here. That’s why you’re sitting on this floor, staring at the trees.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to face that yet,” Bedivere told him. “I don’t think I can stand seeing her.”
* * * * *
Lilly surprised Catherine by hugging her. Hard. Then she stepped back and brushed at her dress. Her eyes were glittering as she gave Catherine a small smile. “You’ve been missed,” she said quietly.
Catherine’s gut tightened a little bit tighter. “You, too,” she said honestly. Now she was standing there in front of them, looking at them, she realized the degree to which she really had missed them all.
Brant’s hug was just as warm and just as long. His pale eyes studied her. “We should talk, when you have time,” he said softly.
Her heart lurched. “Yes, we should,” she agreed.
Yennifer didn’t hug her. Hugging wasn’t Yennifer’s style. She was too inhibited for that sort of open expression. Her smile, though, was sweet and genuine. “It is good to have you back in the city,” she said. “You are a positive influence whenever you go.”
Catherine laughed. “That’s not what Lilly and Bedivere think. Trouble follows me wherever I go.”
“I never said trouble,” Lilly protested. “I’ve always said that life is interesting whenever I’m near you.”
“Wars are interesting, too, just not while you’re living through them,” Brant pointed out dryly.
It was the same easy back-and-forth from hundreds of conversations in the past. Catherine’s eyes began to sting with tears. “I really have missed you,” she said. She had to force the words out past the constriction in her throat.
She glanced at the rest of the welcoming group. Devlin was talking to the sandy-haired Nichol August. They had been close friends and colleagues when Devlin had lived here, before he had acquired the Hana Stareach. There were three other village mayors that she recognized, too, all of them watching Devlin as he spoke softly. Even Devlin’s pilots were gathered around behind him, listening gravely.
Cat and Company Page 6
