Secrets

by Sapphire Knight

  “Bye, Cameron. Avery, babe, I’ll text you. Night y’all.” I jump out and close the door before Tate can even undo his seatbelt. I don’t have the energy to battle with him about that kiss.

  I make my way to my tiny apartment and in front of my door is a chess piece. It looks like a King that’s been laid on its side. What is that? There’s some writing on it, carved into it lengthways is ‘Check mate’. That’s weird. Someone must have dropped it while walking through the hall. I don’t know why, but I snatch it up.

  It was such a crazy night; I’m ready for my pajamas. I have to take my Prozac and try to get some sleep because I want to check out the Farmer’s Market in the morning.

  The next two weeks fly by. I’m kept busy with my school work and slowly exploring the city. Knoxville is surrounded by seven lakes: Cherokee, Douglas, Ft. Loudon, Melton Hill, Norris, Watts Bar, and Tellico Lake. I can’t wait until our next long weekend. I’m going to drag Avery out to one of the lakes so we can get a tan and relax. I never took school as seriously as I do now. I want to know that if my family were alive they would be proud of me. I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like, if Momma were still here.

  Twelve-year-old Emily

  Principal Kegal peeks his head in our class room and everyone is frozen at the sight of him.

  “Hi, Miss Swanson. I need to speak to Emily Harper please, she needs to grab her things too. Thanks.” He gives Miss Swanson a sad look, which is strange. He usually looks at her as if he’s seeing the sun for the first time. I think he has a little crush on her.

  Principle Kegal must want to see me about our student counsel project. It’s going to be awesome planting all those new trees at the retirement center. I look at my best friend, London, and stick my tongue out at her. She’s so great; after school we are going to hang out and paint our nails with some new polish she got for her birthday. I get to see her cute older brother, Elliot, and his friends too, so it’s an added bonus.

  “Hi, Mr. Kegal, how are you today?” I smile and ask as soon as we are in the hall. Mr. Kegal is always wearing a polo style shirt with one of our town’s sports team’s logo and khaki pants. He looks more like he should be a coach rather than the principal of the middle school. There are two police officers waiting out in the hall. Oh no. I hope Mr. Kegal’s not asking questions about someone smoking behind the school again. He’s way stricter being principal at the middle school than he used to be in elementary. I think this place stresses him out more.

  “I’m good, sweetheart, thanks. Listen, this is Sergeant Rodderick and Detective Saint, they have some very sad news to share with you. I’ll stay right here with you as long as you need me, okay?” I look at the officers; Sergeant Rodderick looks a little older than Momma. He has really short, brown hair that’s cut like a Marine’s. Kind of like the guys in the commercials I see on TV. He’s tall and skinny, with a bushy, brown mustache. Detective Saint looks a bit older. He has short black and white hair and warm brown eyes with lines like he laughs a lot. He’s also kind of chubby like he enjoys his coffee and pie a little too much.

  “Okay. Where’s my granddaddy?” They exchange a look with each other then back at me. What’s going on?

  “We haven’t been able to reach him yet. I think he’s out on Mr. Mills’ ranch somewhere. An officer went to see if he could find him, so he can come get you after we talk.” Mr. Mills’ ranch is huge so I understand. Him and Granddaddy are always doing something on that old ranch. I nod at the principal and turn toward the police officers.

  “Hi, what can I help with?” I am in the student council, so it’s my job to help any way I can with school problems.

  “Well, Miss Harper, I’m afraid we have some terrible news. Your momma is Susan Harper, correct?”

  “Oh my god, Momma? Yes, that’s her, is she in trouble or something? My momma’s a real good person, so whatever it is, I’m sure you have the wrong person!” I’ll have to go to the office at lunchtime and ask if I can give Momma a call. I know she’ll wanna hear all about this.

  “No, dear, your momma’s not in any trouble. She was in an accident today when she was driving. I’m so sorry to tell you, but your momma didn’t survive. She’s with the angels now. If we can do anything, we are here to help.” The officers look really sorry to be telling me this and it just makes me angry. They have the wrong person, I’m sure of it. I would feel it in my heart if something happened to my momma.

  “I’ll tell you what you can do. You can quit lying about my momma! My momma’s just fine; she’s at work, at the diner. You are not very good officers by getting it wrong. You should be ashamed of yourselves, talking about my momma that way! My granddaddy’s gonna fix this and show you all that my momma’s just fine.” I wince because my yelling echoes down the hallway. They have this all wrong. I need to get back to Miss Swanson’s room so I can finish my work. I know I’m gonna have to ask for help on this math assignment now.

  Mr. Kegal looks at me and has tears in his eyes. “No, sweetheart, I’m afraid it’s true. It really is your momma, and she’s gone. She died, and I am so completely sorry this is happening to you.” He touches my arm as he says this. I look into his sad blue eyes and know he’s telling me the truth. Him and Momma went to school together when they were kids and I’ve known Mr. Kegal since he became principal when I started second grade.

  I really don’t know what to do. It’s like someone just kicked me in my stomach, it feels like someone has a pillow over my face and is sucking all the air from my lungs. I feel hot tears running down my cheeks but I can’t hear a word anyone is saying to me. They are all looking at me and I drop to the floor, I have my hands sprawled out in front of me on the cold tiles. I don’t know how to survive without my momma. I let out a gut wrenching wail and Mr. Kegal scoops me up in his arms, where I sob loudly.

  Mr. Kegal is openly crying now, and I hear Miss Swanson come into the hallway. I know the officer tells her what happened because she comes to me and hugs me to her chest. Everyone, all of my classmates are in the hallway staring at me as Mr. Kegal carries me to the office. I look to London and see Brandon Meeks holding her in the middle of the hallway while she cries. She looks so grief stricken; it hurts my heart even more. Momma was her other momma, and I know it hurts her heart too.

  ******************************************************************************

  A tear rolls down my cheek as I remember that awful day. God, I miss Momma every single day. I have to remind myself I was lucky enough to get her for twelve years of my life. Even though I don’t think it’s fair she was taken from me, it could have been worse—I could have had her for less time.

  Chapter 5

  T – Красота, I miss you. Have lunch with me?

  I get a text from Tate. It’s been two weeks since we’ve really talked. We say hi to each other, sit next to each other in class and talk about the classwork we have together a little bit, but that’s it. Have lunch with him or not? I guess I could. Things have seemed to cool off for him around me. I’m still completely taken with him, but I can keep it to myself. This is good; maybe we will become friends instead of whatever we’ve been. I don’t even know how to categorize us. I am yet to really make any friends with fellow classmates. I know I need to keep to myself, but it’s lonely. I wasn’t super popular growing up, but I did have a few regular friends I talked to frequently. Well, up until I started dating him, then I was only allowed to talk to London and he hated that too. I wasn’t giving up London though; I had already given up everything else. I’m so not going to think of that awful stuff right now. Onto Luka ‘Tate’ Masterson and hopefully my new friend.

  Me – Sounds good, where and when?

  T – Are you free today in 30 min?

  Me – I can make that work

  T – Good. I’ll come get you. See you in 30 ;)

  Me – OK 

  I pull on some cute little jean shorts, my awesome hot pink Cartel Ink shirt that has a picture of Alice in Wonder
land, but she’s tattooed and pierced in it. It’s one of my favorite shirts. I might not have any tattoos, but I still love them. I think this will work, it’s only lunch. I pair it with my low, black Converse shoes and make my way downstairs to wait for Tate.

  I step onto the sidewalk in front of my apartment building and I get a weird tingly sensation, like someone is watching me. Before I have a chance to have a good look around, a dark grey sports car pulls up in front of me. Man, I need to give London a call and make sure he’s still in jail. Tate jumps out and runs around the car to open my door.

  “Damn, little lamb, you look smokin’ today!” I smile at him and look at the ground. I always feel shy around him.

  “Hi. Thanks for picking me up.” He looks me up and down with his gorgeous hazel eyes. Tate in all his glory. Hotness incarnate. Relaxed, dark, straight, distressed jeans, plain black T-shirt that hugs his muscles perfectly and black leather Polo boots. He has a little product in his dark brown hair and his eyes sparkle like he’s excited. He’s wearing his grin and has his dimples on full display as he shuts my car door. Watching him run around the front of the car to his side, I can see his Russian features. High cheekbones and straight, strong nose; he always walks around with his head up, as if he is in charge of everything. He climbs in and it looks as if this car was made specifically for him, the way the black and red leather seat molds against his shoulders.

  “Gosh, Tate, what kind of car is this? I’ve never seen anything like it! The seats are soft as butter.” The car is gunmetal grey, the grill is dark like the paint, it has 21" rims and the suspension is low enough the tires take up the entire wheel well. The car is full of clean, smooth lines; it is beautiful. I actually sit down toward the ground. It feels as if you could put your feet down and touch the ground The inside is all black leather with blood red accents. There is a big screen on the dash and it all looks super high tech. When he hears my question, he looks at me and it’s like looking at a little kid, he’s so excited. Oh, Tate definitely like’s his cars, obviously and I just gave him an in to talk about them.

  “This, Красота (beauty), is a Bentley Continental GT Speed. I figure I need something beautiful to drive, because you deserve to be surrounded by as much beauty as I am right now.” I smile, because that is seriously sweet. Okay, and I blush. I know my cheeks are red, I can feel them burning. I buckle my seatbelt and look out the window. I have no idea what to say back, I’m a little twitter-pated right now. Tate turns up the radio; ‘Out Of The Black’ by Royal Blood is playing. I have this on my playlist for when I run at the gym. He lays down on the gas and I’m pulled back into my seat. This beautiful car also has tons of power. I could totally get addicted to driving this thing.

  We arrive at a place called Calhoun's, it’s on the river. It looks like a giant metal building with a big glowing orange sign that says ‘Calhoun’s’. It’s close to the UT Campus, and on the way we drive by Neyland Stadium. It feels as if we flew here, I know there is no way he was doing the speed limit. His sexy factor just went up two more notches after that ride.

  We decide to sit on the deck. It’s early enough that it’s not too humid. They have an outside deck as well as an enclosed deck with a panoramic view of the Tennessee River. The weather’s actually really beautiful today. It’s pretty cool because Calhoun's is accessible by boat and has its own dock. It smells wonderfully of BBQ. I’m a true Texas gal, I love my BBQ.

  The deck has its own special menu. I order the BBQ chicken sandwich and Tate has the Calhoun’s Trio. He also orders us the Ale steak skewers as an appetizer. Everything sounds good, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until the BBQ smell hit me. This is the kind of place I know London will love when she visits. I can see her in a bikini top and short-shorts doing shots on the deck. I’m sure she’ll have, like, five different guys offering her boat rides too. She’s always been fun and a party girl. I bet her and Avery would be double trouble together. Oops, I kinda zoned out and Tate is saying something.

  “Thanks for coming to lunch. I wasn’t sure if you’d agree.”

  “Yeah, no problem, thanks for the invite. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until we walked into this place. I’ve never been here, thanks for bringing me.”

  “The food’s good. My brother and I have been here a few times before.” He has sunglasses on. It’s a bummer they hide his eyes. I think his eyes are my favorite feature on him, or his plump lips, or his nipple rings, or, well, never mind.

  “Oh, you have a brother?”

  “Yes, my brother is Viktor.”

  “Is he in school too?”

  “No, he’s not in school; he does some business for my father. He was at the club when we went. He was the one outside at the door dressed like he was going to a meeting instead of a nightclub.”

  “You mean the guy who called you Luka when we were going inside?”

  “Yes, that’s Viktor.”

  “Cool, wait, does he manage OO7? Is that your father’s place?”

  “Eh, you could say he kind of watches the place, but no, OO7 is mine, not my father’s.” He says this like it’s no big deal, like everyone owns a posh nightclub. “Viktor likes to be sort of an accountant and see things get taken care of. He doesn’t want to be one to run the businesses.”

  “Holy shit, Tate! You own a freaking night club?!” My eye’s probably look like they are going to pop out of my head at this point. Tate just shrugs and offers me his grin. The server brings our food and we dig in.

  Our lunch was delicious, I feel like I need to be rolled out of here. ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ by Lynyrd Skynyrd starts playing on the patio and it brings a big smile to my face.

  “What is it, beautiful?” Tate smiles at me.

  “This song, it makes me so happy. My granddaddy taught me how to drive and I made him play this song over and over. I was around thirteen years old. We have a lot of land so we took his old tan Chevy out to a dirt patch and he let me drive donuts over and over until I learned how to drive a stick shift. I had so much fun that day and granddaddy has called me Donut ever since.”

  “Пончик (donut), yes, you are very sweet, not so fluffy though, huh?” His laugh is rich and it vibrates through me. I did it; I made him smile and laugh that laugh. It’s like light in a black room. God, I could fall asleep to his voice at night.

  “I’m glad I was with you when you had a happy memory, that look on your face was gorgeous.” His phone begins to ring and he looks down at the caller ID.

  “Just a second, Пончик (donut).” He laughs a little when he calls me Donut again and it brings another big smile to my face. When he sees who is calling he looks irritated.

  “What? No. I am out. What! Call Большой босс (big boss), now!” He looks pissed and hangs up without saying anything else. Whatever the other person said sure did make him mad. I wonder what he said in Russian. It’s so sexy when he speaks Russian, like mini orgasms. He looks at me and gives me a little smile that seems kind of forced.

  “Ready, Emily? I have some things I have to take care of.” He gets up out of his seat and reaches his hand out for me.

  “Yes, of course. I hope everything’s okay.” I take his hand without hesitation. I know I need to guard my heart, but he has shown me a kind side to him and it makes me want to open up a little more to him.

  He offers to walk me to my door again but I decline. He seems a little distracted, so I want to let him take care of whatever needs to be done. He leans over and gives me a soft, sweet kiss on my cheek. I scan the parking lot, per my usual routine.

  “Have a good day, Красота (beauty); I can’t wait until we can do this again.” He stares straight into my eyes as he says this. I wish he would just lean in and really kiss me again.

  “You too, Tate, and thank you again. I’ll see you later.” I skip up to my apartment because I just had a really great lunch. I’m so distracted with thoughts of Tate Masterson I don’t notice the long stemmed white rose next to my door.


  A few days later, I’m walking out of the Science building with Avery when I notice the back of someone in the distance. It can’t be, no way. My heart starts beating fast. This person does have long black hair, tattoos all over and is pretty tall. They turn around and I freak out. I start jumping up and down like a lunatic then take off running.

  “Whoa! Emily! Calm down, girl!” I hear Avery yell and start running after me. She sounds a little panicked and I probably freaked her out. But she doesn’t see what I see.

  “Holy Fuck! That’s one hot ass chick!” London yells loudly across the courtyard when she sees me, then runs toward me too. I start laughing out loud, I can’t believe she’s freaking here. In Tennessee. She surprised me. I absolutely have the bestest friend in the whole world!

  “Not as hot as you!” I yell back and leap at her. London is five foot-eight and about 160 lbs., so she catches me easily. She’s built like a muscular pin up model. Her black hair reaches mid back. She has beautiful cool blue eyes that are almond shaped and legs that seem to go on for miles; they are freaking gorgeous because she always does lunges and leg presses. She has huge boobs and a small waist, she reminds me of a tattooed Coke bottle. London always dresses like a slut and is a big partier, but she’s actually one of the smartest people I know. She had to do a lot of her college courses online to save money, but she’s studying to be an engineer. Shoot, London could probably even be a doctor if she wanted to.

  We finally quit hugging but I keep hold of her hand, if anything so I know she’s real. “I can’t believe it’s actually you, you’re really here! God, I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I just saw you right now,” I say and a tear leaks down my cheek. I feel so emotional all of a sudden. Like I’ve been running a race and my relief just grabbed my baton to finish the race for me. London leans in and gives me another small hug. She’s always been great at reading me, so she probably knows I’m a mess inside right now.