Yeah, right, Lal. You have mucho to learn.
Dealing With Rejection
Rejection can really hurt and it’s hard not to take it personally. Here’s how we think it’s best to deal with it.
Lucy: Allow yourself twenty-four hours of sobbing, gnashing of teeth, wailing, listening to sad songs, eating ice cream, watching sloppy tragic films. Kick a few cushions. Feel very sorry for yourself. As soon as your twenty-four hours are up, then you stop. Let go. Move on. Life is too short to be miserable over some boy who hasn’t got the good taste to want you. Plus there are others out there - plenty more fish in the sea.
Izzie: Eat chocolate. Plenty of it. Spend time with your mates, having a laugh about it all. And give it time. Time mends a broken heart.
Nesta: Think that it’s his loss and go out and pull someone else to distract you.
TJ: Be philosophical. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. You can’t make someone fancy you or want to go out with you. It can hurt like hell and you can wonder what’s wrong with you, but nothing is wrong with you. He just wasn’t the right boy at this time. Someone else will come along sooner or later.
Damaged Beauty
by Izzie Foster
He’s frequently flawless, but often unkind
This fallen angel drives you out of your mind
He’s the devil beneath you and you ought to know
He has to go, you really should know
The gift you are given is kindness and grace
But each time you fall for a handsome young face
Stop looking for light in love’s gloomy rooms
Throw open the windows
Let in the sun, you’re number one
Look into your heart, just make a start,
You really know, he has to go
Put your damaged beauty in a silent place
There’s new love just waiting, get back in the race
Shout out you’re ready, cast into the pool
This time remember, don’t land a fool
Look into your heart, make a brand new start,
Look into your heart, it’s up to you.
Revenge
We just had to put this section in for a bit of devilry, though of course, as responsible and mature teenagers, we would never actually dream of doing any of the following. (Heh, heh!)
Nesta: Put fresh prawns into his duvet. He’ll go mad trying to find out where the smell is coming from after a few days.
TJ: Tie his shoelaces together.
Lucy: Sew up the ankles of his trousers.
Izzie: I don’t think revenge is good for the soul. Forgiveness is better. But then if I were pushed to carry out a revenge, I reckon you can’t beat getting hold of his mobile, then phoning the speaking clock in Hong Kong.
And so there is all that we’ve learnt about pulling boys and what to do with them once you’ve got them. However, if you still feel like you need a bit more help, it’s over to Mystic Iz.
Boys and Astrology
by Izzie Foster
OK. So this is what I think. Learning a boy’s star sign can sometimes give you some insight in to what he’s about and ensure that as far as he’s concerned, you’re ahead of the game.
Aries (21 March–20 April): Aries is the sign of the ram and they are known for leaping before they look so you probably won’t have to wait around too long if this boy is interested. However, sometimes he can enjoy the chase more than the conquest and will move on because he gets easily bored. He certainly wouldn’t like a girl who’s too dependent or clingy. His key word is energy and his ideal girl would be confident - someone who can stand up to him and be his equal.
Taurus (21 April–21 May): Taurus is the sign of the bull and you won’t find a more loyal (or stubborn) boy. A Taurean boy can be very slow to make up his mind, but when he does, he won’t mess you around. His key word is stability and he’ll want a girl who doesn’t flirt around or play games. He’s also a boy who is highly sensual and will respond well to fabulous scents, good looks and beautiful clothes. However, you might need to push him into trying new things and getting out and about as he can be set in his ways and sticks with what he knows.
Gemini (22 May–21 June): Gemini is the sign of the twins and a Gemini boy will be lively, quick-witted and entertaining. He’s turned on more by the mental than the physical. His key word is flirtatious and his is a sign that is likely to have many admirers. He likes change and variety so is not the easiest boy to get to commit. His ideal girl is someone bright who can floor him with witty one-liners, is a good communicator and will keep him well entertained
Cancer (22 June–22 July): Cancer is the sign of the crab and like a crab, they can hide behind a tough shell - but are soft as anything inside. These boys are home-loving, their key word is security and they will respond well to lots of affection and hugs. His ideal will be a supportive girl who will cherish him and give him space for his occasional crabby moods.
Leo (23 July–23 August): Leo is the sign of the lion. This is a boy who likes to be at the centre of attention. He has high expectations of love and can feel very sorry for himself if let down in any way - like a lion with a sore paw. His key word is ego and when he falls in love it can be full on. His ideal girl is a real glam puss who will adore him and improve his self-image with her charisma.
Virgo (24 August–23 September): Virgo is the sign of the virgin and a Virgo boy can be very choosy (and critical) before he commits himself. His key word is perfection and he may happily analyse and talk about relationships, unlike some of the other signs. His ideal girl would be intelligent, emotionally calm and tidy in her habits.
Libra (24 September–23 October): Libra is the sign of the scales. These boys are flirts and can charm the birds out of the trees, but they can also be indecisive and end up causing chaos by not making up their minds about what or who they want. His key word is beauty and he has great expectations for love. If he thinks he’s found it, he will give it in abundance and will expect the same back. If thwarted, he can be cool and impersonal. He forms relationships swiftly, but can just as easily abandon them. His ideal girl is a romantic soul with great style who is prepared to give as much as she gets.
Scorpio (24 October–22 November): Scorpio is the sign of the scorpion. This boy can be a mystery and at times it may be hard to read him. However, when he falls in love, it is deeply, loyally and possessively. He’s a boy who will do anything for the right girl and isn’t someone who will let go easily if he feels you’re the one for him. His key word is magnetism and his ideal girl is someone who can intrigue him and can handle all-encompassing passion (and some jealousy).
Sagittarius (23 November–21 December): Sagittarius is the sign of the archer. This is a boy who loves spontaneity and adventures and when it comes to falling in love, Sagittarians can be up and down like a yo-yo. He’s not one to hold back and can be loving and generous, but can sometimes come across as blunt or clumsy. His key word is freedom and he’ll be looking for a girl who will share his love of excitement. He’s not one to be caged in or tied down.
Capricorn (22 December-20 January): Capricorn is the sign of the goat. This boy can be ambitious and hard working. When it comes to love, he can be slow to show his feelings through fear of rejection, but once hooked will be loyal and caring. His key word is conscientious. He’ll be looking for a responsible girl who doesn’t mess him about and who has her own status and goals whilst admiring him for his.
Aquarius (21 January–19 February): Aquarius is the sign of the waterbearer. This boy has an endlessly curious mind and will be into discovering what he can about the world (the more unusual the better). His key word is friendship, but in love can sometimes appear to be distant and uninterested - any displays of excess emotion will frighten him right off. His ideal is a girl who will fascinate him with her knowledge and experience. He wants a cool companion to go off making discoveries with.
Pisces (20 February–20 March): Pisces is the sign of t
he fish. This boy can be romantic and poetic, but can fall in and out of love quickly as he searches for his perfect girl. His key word is mystical. He may have high expectations about fairy tale love and his ideal is a sensitive girl with dreamy eyes who shares his romantic fantasies.
Spells to Handle Boys
by Izzie Foster
And if you still feel like you need help, there’s always some hocus-pocus to try.
Spell One: To Attract a Boy
1. Write his name seven times on a piece of paper.
2. Put the paper in an envelope or even better, in a locket, if you have one.
3. Carry the envelope (or wear the locket) for seven days and nights after which time, he should come to you.
Spell Two: To Make Someone Love You
1. Get a candle and a bottle of oil (almond or olive).
2. Pour a little oil into your hand and rub it into the unlit candle with your hands whilst thinking thoughts of love about the boy you like.
3. Carve into the side of the candle your wish, e.g. I want John Smith to fancy me.
4. Light the candle and by the time it’s burnt down, your wish will come true.
Spell Three: For Boys Who Need Warming Up a Bit
1. Write his name and yours in a heart on a piece of paper.
2. Put the paper in a warm place for seven days, e.g. where your boiler is kept (away from any flames) or on top of a radiator.
3. By the end of the week, he will be feeling extremely warm towards you.
Spell Four: For Boys Who Need to Sweeten Up Towards You
1. This time you ideally need photographs. One of you and one of him. Sprinkle his photo with sugar (any kind) and place both photos face to face in an envelope. Then place the envelope under your pillow for at least seven nights. If you haven’t got a photo, write his name and yours in a heart. Put in an envelope with the sugar, then as before, place it under your pillow.
2. By the end of the week, the boy will be sweet on you.
Spell Five: For Over-Amorous Boys Who Need to Cool Down
1. Get either a lock of his hair and a lock of yours or a photo of him and a photo of you.
2. Put both in an envelope or freezer bag.
3. Put in the freezer for seven days.
4. By the end of the week, his feelings for you will have cooled off.
(Note from Lucy: I tried Spell Five once when I wanted Tony to cool down and I swear he cooled down so much he went off me. I then tried the sweetening up spell and although he did come round again, my bed was covered in bits of sugar for weeks after. When I told Mum about it, she wasn’t very pleased and said I’d attract mice. I told her I’d attracted a rat (as I wasn’t very happy with Tony at that time), but Mum wasn’t amused!)
(Note from Tony: I always knew girls were witches.)
(Note from Steve: When using a computer, do witches run spell check?)
(Note from Izzie: If you guys don’t watch out, I’ll turn you into frogs.)
Staying Together
by Izzie Foster
Hey there, don’t you know, that boys just come and boys just go
But friends stay together forever and ever
Hey there, follow the noise and you’ll soon find a gang of boys.
Had enough of football chants?
Smelly trainers, mindless rants?
Boys are stupid, boys are vain
A dozen boys share just one brain
No boys!
Yes, girlfriend - it’s the truth, we’re not going to waste our youth
Friends stay together forever and ever
We’re too pretty, we’re too smart to let any boyfriend break us apart
Boys are stupid, boys are vain
A dozen boys just share one brain
No boys!
Mates
by all of us!
And so to the most important relationships in our lives. Mates.
The best bit of advice we’ve ever heard about friendship is: if you want a friend, be a friend.
It works if you already have friends and it works if you want to find some. Basically, it means: be the kind of friend you always hoped you’d have and you’ll soon find that you have loads and you get on great. Another way of putting it is, do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. Amen. Or as Nesta says: Ah, men.
If you want to make new friends, it won’t hurt to put into practice a lot of the tips in the first section of this guide, about meeting boys (apart from the flirting and snogging). Once again, you’re not going to meet anyone if you stay at home wondering why you haven’t got any mates. Get out there. Walk your dog in the park. Join clubs. Join dance classes or whatever you’re into. Talk to people. Accept invites to parties - in fact, throw your own party. Make things happen. Make an effort.
Once you have your mates, then don’t expect them to do all the work. Friendship, like all relationships, is a two-way street.
Don’t expect your mate always to call you. Call her often.
Don’t be a fair-weather friend, i.e. only there for a laugh and good times. Be aware of when she’s feeling low and be supportive.
Don’t expect your mate to always plan everything. Plan things together.
Don’t go out with a mate’s ex unless she is OK with it and gives her approval.
Never try and get off with a mate’s boyfriend.
Keep talking, no matter what. Sometimes you might think that you’re all alone in what you’re going through, but a problem shared is a problem halved. Mates are there for each other.
Don’t shove your mate or plans you’ve made with your mate aside the minute a cute boy comes along. She will feel like she’s way down on the list of your priorities and doesn’t matter. Remember - your mates are the ones who are there for you if things don’t work out and it’s not fair to expect that if she’s been pushed aside while you ‘had better things to do’.
Ask for help when you need it. No one’s psychic. (Except Izzie. Maybe.)
Ground Rules for Being Out with Mates
Be aware of each other. Don’t abandon a mate if a group of you have gone out together and three of you get off with boys and the fourth doesn’t. You can always arrange to see the boys another time or spend time with the boys as a group so you aren’t leaving your mate sitting there like a lemon on her own.
Get your round in. Don’t let one mate always pay for drinks or snacks. Be aware of when it’s your turn, unless something has been agreed beforehand because one of you is Miss Loadsamoney and doesn’t mind paying.
Keep an eye on each other’s drinks and don’t accept drinks from strangers as sometimes they can be spiked.
Agree on secret hand signals before you go out to indicate to each other if you need rescuing because you are bored out of your mind or some boy is coming on too strong. It’s also useful to have a signal for when you like someone and want to be left alone with him for a while. If you are out with boys who are friends as opposed to boyfriends, you can ask them if they will help if a boy is coming on too strong, by pretending that they are with you on a date.
If one mate gets off with a boy the rest of you don’t know, keep an eye out for where she is.
Always make sure that all your mates have got a lift home with people you know or are travelling home together.
Keep talking to each other, even one of you has gone weird or is feeling blue.
And there it is. Relationships sorted!
PART TWO
Beauty, Health and Fashion
by Izzie Foster and Lucy Lovering
Beauty
For this section, it’s over to Izzie and me (Lucy). I want to work in the fashion industry when I leave school and I already make my own clothes so fashion is my thing! And to Izzie - because natural remedies are her thing. She has picked my dad’s brain (yuck!) as he runs the local health food shop and with his help, she has come up with loads of natural (and inexpensive) ways of looking after yourself.
We all try to schedule in one day
or evening a month to go through a beautifying routine. We usually do it on a Sunday or when it’s raining or there’s not a lot to do and it can be great fun (especially seeing the girls covered in some of my homemade avocado or banana gloops dripping from their faces).
So here goes: how to be blindingly beautiful à la Lucy and Izzie (and Lucy’s dad).
Looking After Your Skin
by Izzie
(All the items mentioned in this section should be easily available at your local health food shop!)
You don’t need loads of dosh to have fabulous skin. A good routine of cleansing and moisturising at night as well as a healthy diet will keep it looking good. Some people believe what you eat can affect your skin and a break-out of spots often can be related to eating too much sugar, greasy or junk food.
Top Tips for Brilliant Skin
Eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables as they are rich in vitamins and minerals. Broccoli and spinach might not be your thing, but they will make your skin look much better than a diet of pizza, crisps and takeaways will. (Sad, but true.)
Drink at least a litre of water a day. Your eyes will sparkle and your skin will glow.
Fresh juice: if you have a juicer, you can make your own fresh juice and it will really perk up your complexion. My favourite is fresh grape, Lucy’s is carrot and apple, TJ’s is carrot, celery, apple and ginger and Nesta’s is orange. They really do taste fantastic.
Eat/Drink in Moderation:
Mates, Dates Guide to Life Page 5
