4. If there’s someone in particular you’d like to sit next to, do a seating plan so that it isn’t left to chance and you get stuck with your brother. Also, a last minute, ‘Oh sit anywhere,’ means that a shy person may be put next to someone equally as shy, while all the extroverts are down the other end of the table having a jolly old time.
5. Have a trial food preparation run on a night before the dinner party so that you know exactly what to do and how the meal will turn out. Don’t try out new recipes on the night.
6. Choose a recipe where you can do most of the preparation beforehand (the day before is ideal so you have a whole day to make yourself look gorgeous for the dinner party) and just heat it up when guests arrive. That way, you can spend more time with your guests.
7. Cheating is absolutely OK. If you’ve bought prepared food, take it out of its foil and knock the edges about a bit so that it looks homemade. Add your own herbs, cream, vegetables and croutons. Remove all traces of packaging from the kitchen. Add your own fruit, sauce or icing to desserts.
8. Give yourself time to get ready, well before anyone arrives.
Nesta’s Tips for Dinner Parties
Remember to turn on the oven.
Read the labels on tubs in the freezer so that you don’t serve creamed cod as vanilla ice cream by mistake, like I did once.
Try not to burn your hair or eyebrows when lighting candles. (Um, something that I also did!)
On second thoughts, here’s my best tip for dinner parties: Go out to eat!
Parties
If you’re planning a party:
Send out invites in plenty of time and ask guests to RSVP so that you know how many are coming and can organise food and drink. Be clear about the date and arrival time. Sometimes open-house parties mean that your guests arrive and leave in dribs and drabs. Best to start with a bang - everyone arrives more or less together and it’s party time. You can lose the party atmosphere if it’s a drop in invite and late guests may arrive to find plates of half-eaten food and weary hosts.
Think about the music you want and make party compilations, e.g., one chilled CD that makes good background music for when people arrive and are chatting and unwinding and one more upbeat one for later that will get everyone up and dancing. If you pick your music well, it will avoid guests interfering and going through your whole CD collection, leaving it all out all over the floor and putting CDs back in the wrong cases.
Soft lighting can make rooms look atmospheric and remember - everyone looks better by candlelight and nightlights really make a place look soft and welcoming.
Scents are powerful mood enhancers. Room sprays, essential oils and scented joss sticks can all be used to create an aromatic experience. Try burning cinnamon and orange essential oil at Christmas; ylang-ylang, rose and sandalwood for a romantic scent and lime and bergamot in summer for a clean, light fragrance.
Delegate. Don’t try to do everything yourself. Get a few mates round early and ask them to help (you can also get dressed together and get into the party mood early). Ask one to greet guests and to take coats, another to make sure everyone’s got a drink, another to pass round any snacks. It will give them a ready-made chance to chat and is a really good task to give to someone who is shy.
Pay attention to all your guests, not just the ones you fancy. Introduce people to each other. They might all know you, but don’t necessarily know each other.
If anyone brings a gift, acknowledge it. Don’t toss it aside into a pile. Make a note of who brought what so that you can thank them later.
Don’t make anyone feel bad if they have to leave early. Thank them for coming and let them go.
Themed parties can be great fun as everyone has to dress up, which usually puts everyone in a great party mood. Here are our fave ideas:
An A-Z of Party Themes
A: African, Aztec, animals, Alice in Wonderland, Adam and Eve, Arabian Nights.
B: Beatniks, black and white, Beauty and the Beast, all in blue, bad taste, blonde bombshells.
C: Cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, Chinese, cartoon characters, come as you were (in a past life).
D: Devils and angels, doctors and nurses, Dickens’ characters.
E: Egyptian, Elizabethan, Edwardian.
F: Fairies and goblins, fat, the Flintstones, flowers or fruit, fave fictional character.
G: Gods and goddesses, gangsters and molls, glamour, ghosts, gender swap (i.e. boys as girls and girls as boys), Goth, Greeks, Grease (the movie).
H: Hollywood (dress for the Oscars), Hawaiian, horror, hats, heroes and heroines, Harry Potter, hippies.
I: Idols, Indian.
J: Japanese.
K: Knights and damsels in distress.
L: Legends, lords and ladies.
M: Marx brothers, Mexican, monsters, masks, milkmaids and farmers, movies.
N: Nuns and priests.
O: Oriental.
P: Pyjamas, all in purple, policemen and -women, Pre-Raphaelite, punk.
Q: Queens and kings.
R: Rock stars, rock ‘n’ roll, all in red, Renaissance, Romans.
S: Sci-fi, Star Trek, all in silver, school uniforms, Shakespearean characters, superheroes.
T: Thunderbirds, toga, roaring twenties, teddy boys and girls, toddlers and teddies, toys.
U: Uniforms.
V: Vicars and tarts, Victorians.
W: Walt Disney characters, whore or holy, all in white, witches and warlocks.
Z: ZZzzzzz - attend in your nightwear.
If you don’t have a lot of money to spend on costumes, the simpler the theme, the easier it is, e.g. all in blue, pyjamas, gender swap or everyone in hats. Try and find a music track appropriate for the theme, e.g. Egyptian music if going for an Egyptian theme, 1920s music if going for the roaring twenties theme.
Party games can be great ice-breakers and really get guests interacting. If any guests really hate games, give them something to do so that they don’t feel like a party pooper, e.g. look after the music, look after the drinks or take photos of the rest of the guests making idiots of themselves.
Our Favourite Party Games
Lucy’s: Pass the Parcel
This needs some preparation by the host.
1. Take the prize (box of chocs, CD or whatever) and wrap it about forty times. You can use old newspaper for this.
2. Write down about thirty forfeits. Get your mates to help you to think things up or see the list opposite for ideas. Fold each forfeit and put in a bowl.
3. When it comes to playing, ask everyone to sit in a circle and put the bowl of forfeits in the middle. Ask one guest to man the CD player and to play some music as the other guests begin to pass the parcel, each unwrapping a layer as they pass it around. The music should be stopped at random. Whoever has the parcel when the music stops has to pick a forfeit out of the bowl and do it.
4. When the music starts again, carry on passing, unwrapping and stopping when the music stops to do a forfeit until the parcel is unwrapped and all that is left one layer. Whoever unwraps that wins the prize.
Ideas for Forfeits
1. Find out who has the biggest feet.
2. Go round the circle and curtsey to each person.
3. Sing the National Anthem at the top of your voice.
4. Do the Highland fling.
5. Do an impersonation of a gorilla.
6. Kiss all the boys on the cheek.
7. Pick a partner and impersonate two Sumo wrestlers fighting.
8. Go round the circle and stare at each person for twenty seconds without laughing.
9. Submit to being tickled by everyone.
10. Do ten press-ups.
11. Pick a partner and do a slow dance.
12. Say this tongue twister really fast, twenty times: Yellow lorry, red lorry. If you get it wrong, you have to start again.
Izzie’s: Egyptian Mummies
Ask one guest to do the music, starting and stopping at different intervals, i.e. sometim
es after five seconds, sometimes after forty seconds. Mostly, though, ask your music person to give team players enough time to do what they have to for a short while.
1. Ask your guests to make two teams. Boys versus girls is good.
2. Pick one person from each team to be your mummy. Line the team up, and give the first in line the roll of toilet paper. You’ll need a ton of white toilet paper for this. The mummy stands opposite the first in line.
3. When the music starts up, the first member of each team has to race to the mummy and start to bind them, using the toilet paper as a bandage. It is important when doing the face to remember to leave space around the nose and mouth for your mummy to breathe!
4. The first team member wraps and bandages until the music stops. They then go to the back of the line. When the music starts again, the next in line goes forward to continue the bandaging.
5. The first team to wrap their mummy completely from head to toe is the winner. (This is harder than it sounds, as when the wrapping is done too fast or tight, the toilet paper breaks!)
TJ’s: The Adverb Game
1. One person has to go out of the room until they’re out of earshot.
2. Those left in the room have to decide on an adverb, e.g. lazily or dramatically or urgently. When they have decided on the word, they call the person outside back into the room.
3. All the guests have to act in the manner of the adverb and the guest who was outside has to guess what the adverb is. They can make it easier for themselves by asking someone to do something in the manner of the adverb, e.g. ‘Snog Lucy in the manner of the adverb’. Or, ‘Comb your hair in the manner of the adverb’ and so on. It can be hilarious and a real challenge if the adverb is something like ‘intellectually’ - like, how do you snog someone or comb your hair intellectually?
4. When the guest guesses the adverb, choose someone else to go out of the room.
The reason I like this game so much is that it’s a great excuse to get people do mad things ‘in the manner of the adverb’.
Nesta’s: Musical Chairs
1. Get all the dining chairs and line them up in a row, or back to back if you have a lot. As in the other games, ask one guest to look after the music.
2. Ask guests to form a circle around the chairs.
3. When the music starts, everyone moves around the chairs clockwise. When the music stops, everyone must attempt to sit on a chair. Whoever is left without a chair is out.
4. Each time the music stops, one chair is taken away.
5. The music starts again and round the guests go. When the music stops, once again, guests must sit and whoever hasn’t found a chair is out.
6. This continues until there are two guests and one chair left. Whoever sits on the chair first when the music stops is the winner.
Sometimes it’s a good idea to have a referee for this game as a lot of shoving and pushing can happen when there are fewer and fewer chairs - an independent eye is needed to see who really did sit down first.
Everyone’s: Spin the Bottle
This is still a favourite - although you have to be careful who you play it with or else you can end up snogging someone you really didn’t want to! The game is simple: everyone sits in a circle. You spin the bottle and whoever it points at is Snogger 1. Then you spin the bottle again and whoever the bottle points to this time, is their Snogger. They have to snog each other or else they are out.
Non-Alcoholic Cocktails for Parties
(sometimes known as mocktails)
Don’t try to do too many, as it can get chaotic. Instead, offer a choice of four or five.
St Clement’s: Half orange juice, half bitter lemon.
Parson’s Walk: Half orange juice, half ginger ale, slice of orange.
Cranberry Cooler: Cranberry, a splash of lime juice, soda.
Virgin Mary: Tomato juice, a dash of Worcester sauce, dash of Tabasco sauce, a splash of lime juice, salt, pepper. Serve with a stick of celery.
Transfusion: Grape juice, ginger ale, a splash of lime juice.
Piña Colada: Pineapple juice, cream of coconut, wedge of pineapple. (Mix to personal taste.)
Christmas Cheer: Bottle red grape juice, two cinnamon sticks, half a bottle of rum flavouring, four fluid ounces of Earl Grey tea, one tablespoon honey, one tablespoon of dark muscovado sugar, one orange cut into quarters and studded with cloves. Put the ingredients into a pan. Bring almost to the boil, then turn down the heat to the lowest possible. Serve warm.
Izzie’s Special: Carton of pineapple juice, two bananas, generous handful of watercress. Blend together. (I know it sounds weird, but it is totally divine.)
How to Give Someone a Special Day
Birthdays or days of celebration can pass by in haze of disappointment or be a total blast. It’s up to you, but we think that special occasions should be marked. You don’t have to have millionaire parents who can afford limos, marquees in the garden, private caterers and designer presents to have a good time. It’s people who make occasions special and mates can make or break other mates’ birthdays. We’ve put our heads together and talked about our perfect day, and have compiled this list of how to give somebody a truly fabulous day and spoil them rotten. The ideas would be good for Mother’s Day, special birthdays (like sixteenth, eighteenth) or for if a mate is down and you want to let her know that you care. Everybody loves to be shown how much people care about them so here’s how to make someone feel like a princess for a day:
1. Breakfast in bed. Take up a carefully laid tray with a little flower, a napkin, a tray cloth and whatever is the recipient’s fave breakfast. Lay it all out really beautifully so that it looks as if effort has been made.
2. Cards and gifts can be taken up with the tray to be opened in bed. It’s great if there are lots of gifts to open. Wrap everything - even silly things. Gifts needn’t cost a lot, e.g. fave mag wrapped up, fave chewing gum, a key ring, a bar of favourite chocolate, a bar of favourite scentedsoap. Think about what is individual to the birthday person and what they might like, e.g. their birthstone (see end of this section). If you want to prolong the gift giving session, you can organise a treasure hunt for presents with clues all over the house. Take care with the gift wrapping, using ribbons, tinsel, bows, flowers - even if it’s a tiny present. Remember the packaging is what makes it look so special.
3. If you’ve no money, make a gift like a bracelet, a CD compilation or a photo frame with a silly or flattering photo of the birthday girl. Another idea is to go to an Internet astrology site that gives monthly horoscopes and print out your mate’s for the next month. Anything that shows you have given some thought will be really appreciated.
4. At some point in the morning, have balloons or flowers delivered. This needn’t be costly, as you can blow up balloons yourself and get a mate to deliver them.
5. Organise a pampering session. Club together with mates for a treatment or, if you’re broke, make a special voucher inviting them to a homemade beauty session with you and your mates as the beauticians. One of you can do a manicure for her or pedicure or a homemade facial.
6. Lunch. Either prepare a fave lunch or go out to a fave café with best mates. It can be as simple as cheese on toast, but it’s still nice if someone does it for you.
7. In the afternoon, do a fave activity. Maybe a movie or bowling or if the birthday girl has any dosh to spend on clothes, book a session with a personal shopper.
8. Get friends together for a drink and birthday cake late in the afternoon. You could get indoor sparklers for everyone to wave as you bring out the cake. If anyone is creative, ask them to ice the cake with a picture of something of interest to the birthday girl, e.g. a dress with designer logos for Lucy, or star sign symbols for Izzie. Arrange phone calls from any long distance friends or fave relatives for this time.
9. Before evening activities, organise a luxury bath. Fill the bathroom with candles, pour in perfumed bubble bath and heat fluffy towels on the radiator.
10. If ea
ting in, make the room look special so that when your birthday girl comes out of her bath, there’s a terrific atmosphere to greet her. Get her favourite meal for the evening. It can be beans on toast or take-away, if that’s her favourite.
11. Invite friends round for a sleepover and get a fave movie.
12. Get together beforehand with mates and write a poem about the birthday girl. Put on a show and dress up in mad costumes to sing ‘Happy Birthday’, e.g. get some willing boys to dress up as sugar plum fairies and dance round as they sing. Get someone from school who can sing opera to come and serenade her at the window. It will make the occasion especially memorable.
13. Have a last surprise under the pillow, even if it’s a little chocolate or a tiny fluffy toy (if she’s into them).
The secret to organising a special day is to arrange lots of enjoyable, entertaining and unexpected things and keep introducing them all day long. They needn’t be expensive, but by the end of the day, your birthday girl will feel like a million dollars.
Birthstones
Some of your birthday girl gifts could be inspired by birthstones (or birthstone lookalikes) Here’s a list of them:
January: Garnet (wine red)
February: Amethyst (purple/violet)
March: Aquamarine (bluish green)
April: Diamond (clear)
Mates, Dates Guide to Life Page 11
