by J.R. Rain
When twenty minutes had passed, I stepped out of my car, crossed the street and walked up his front porch. The porch was made of cement, and my footfalls made no sound.
I stood before the door, aimed for the area under the doorknob, lifted my foot and smashed it open. Wood splintered. The door swung open on one hinge, and I kicked it the rest of the way open.
“What the fuck?” came a startled voice from inside.
Johnny Bright, a.k.a. Fuck Nut, was now dressed in a wife beater and blue boxers. On the coffee table before him was a porn magazine. There were little boys on the cover. He had dropped his soft taco in his alarm, and had just wrapped his fingers around the handle of his own 9mm.
Standing in the doorway, I shot him four times in the chest.
When I was about three miles away, in a city called Fountain Valley, I pulled over to the side of the road and threw up my breakfast, lunch and dinner.
And I kept throwing up....
Chapter Fifty-four
He was waiting for me at the back of McDonald’s. I sat down without ordering. I was still feeling sick to my stomach, and the thought of a greasy McGriddle did little to alleviate the queasiness.
I didn’t look him in the eye, although I could feel his on me. Today, he was smelling especially ripe, as if he had slept in a dumpster. Hell, as if he was a dumpster.
A few minutes of this and I finally risked looking up. He was smiling at me kindly, and the love and warmth in his eyes was almost unbearable.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“What are you sorry for?” he asked.
“If you are God, you know.”
We were silent some more. I didn’t feel like playing his head games today. If he was God, then let him take the next step. If not, then I was content to sit across from him until the smell of frying bacon made me hurl. Which might be sooner rather than later.
“He was a very troubled man,” said Jack.
“Yes, he was,”
“He made many poor choices.”
I took in some air. The queasiness seemed to intensify as I relived Fuck Nut’s last moments.
“Perhaps his poorest choice was threatening Cindy,” said Jack.
I had never once mentioned Cindy’s name to the man sitting across from me. The fact that he knew who she was should have amazed me, but in my current state of disarray, it was mostly lost on me.
“A very poor choice,” I said.
“And you were forced to take action to protect her.”
“Yes.”
“So what are you sorry for?”
“For killing him.”
“He wanted to die, Jim. He knew this day was coming. He was miserable and lonely and hated every day that he was alive.”
I said nothing. I could not speak. His words did, however, ease some of the queasiness. I sat a little straighter even as I felt a little better.
“Is he going to hell?” I asked.
“He is in a place you do not want to be.”
We’d had this discussion before and I didn’t feel like getting into it now. There was no heaven or hell, but only worlds of our own creations. There was no punishment in the afterlife, only reflection and recreation. Blah blah blah. New age mumbo-jumbo. I didn’t want to hear it. I had killed a man and that was my reality.
“He hurt a lot of kids, too,” I said.
“Yes.”
“Hey, I’ve got a fucking question for you, Jack...God, or whoever the fuck you are. Why the fuck did you allow him to hurt innocent kids? There you go. Answer that question. I’m sure there’s a million mothers out there who’ve lost innocent children who’d just love an answer to that one. Oh, wait, never mind. You’re just a bum and I’m a fucking idiot for coming in to a fucking McDonald’s and entertaining the idea that you might be something more than just street trash.” I stopped, took a deep breath.
“You done?” asked Jack.
I nodded, sitting back, my heart yammering in my chest.
“Nobody dies without the spirit’s consent,” said Jack.
“So a child who’s kidnapped, raped and buried alive gives such a consent.”
“Yes.”
“But they’re a fucking child, Jack. How the fuck could a child make that kind of a decision?”
“The decision was made long ago.”
“Long ago? You mean in a place where time suddenly does exist?”
He ignored my sarcasm.
“Prior to taking on the body, the soul made an agreement with another soul—”
I cut him off; this was just pissing me off.
“An agreement to allow themselves to be raped and killed? How very generous of the soul.”
Jack looked at me for a long moment.
“Yes,” he said. “Very generous.”
“And that’s supposed to comfort a grieving mother? A mother who, say, just lost her child to a sick-ass motherfucker?”
“Such a death serves many purposes, Jim. There is a ripple effect that will touch many, many lives for generations to come.”
“Fine. Many lives are touched. It’s a noble act of sacrifice. But it’s the thought of their child suffering that drives parents mad with grief. The fact that their baby suffered at the hands of an animal.”
Jack said nothing, although he did finally sip his coffee. Glad to see he still had his taste for coffee.
Finally, he said, “You might be pleased to know that a spirit may leave the body whenever it wants.”
“A child could leave its body?”
“Yes.”
“And not suffer?”
Jack looked at me and smiled very deeply and kindly, and I saw, for the first time ever, that there were tears in his eyes.
“And not suffer,” he said.
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Chapter Fifty-five
Two days later I was in San Diego, about an hour and a half south from Huntington Beach.
It was 10:00 a.m. sharp and I was sitting alone in a leather sofa in an ornate office overlooking the lush playing field at Qualcomm Stadium. The field, as viewed through the massive window, was empty.
The office was covered with photographs of past personnel and players. I recognized almost all of them, since football was my life. Not to mention, I had taken a particularly keen interest in the San Diego Chargers since their last offer.
I was dressed to the nines in khakis and cordovan loafers and a blue silk shirt that accentuated my blue eyes. At least that’s what I’m told.
A door opened and a little bald man with gold rimmed glasses came in. He saw me, smiled brightly, and moved over to me with surprising speed. Of course, it shouldn’t be too surprising, Aaron Larkin had been free safety for the Chargers for most of his career in the seventies. In the seventies, he had not been bald.
“My God, Knighthorse, you are a big boy,” he said, pumping my hand.
“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.”
He laughed and gestured for me to sit. He moved behind his black lacquer desk and took a seat. Larkin leaned forward eagerly and laced his fingers together before him. His fingers were thick and gnarled and some seemed particularly crooked, not too surprising after a full career in football. Between high school, college and the pros, fingers were bound to get broken.
“We are very excited to hear from you,” Aaron Larkin began.
“Excitement is good. I am happy to be here.”
“Well, we had given up on you. Such a tragedy about your leg. But my God you have kept yourself fit. And we need someone like you badly. Hell, who doesn’t need a fullback nowadays?”
“Outside of football, few people.”
He laughed. “We want to give you a private workout in two weeks. If we like what we see we’ll invite you to training camp. We are honored that you’re here, Knighthorse. My God you were an unholy terror on the playing field. Your services could be very, very valuable to us. So how is the leg?” he asked, and his voice was filled with genuin
e concern, and for that I liked the guy immensely.
“It has healed completely.” I lied. It hurt like a motherfucker.
“An utter miracle. I watched you coming down the hall. There’s no limp to speak of.”
The hallways had been empty. He must have been watching me on some closed circuit TV. A sort of high tech surveillance to monitor my gait.
“Well, I’m a hell of a specimen.”
“Around here, they all are.”
We set a date for my mini-workout, and when I left his office, I waved to the little camera situated in the upper corner of the hallway.
Chapter Fifty-six
“Where the hell is he?” asked Sanchez.
I shrugged.
“Did you just shrug?” he asked. “Because it’s too dark to tell. I mean there’s a hundred reasons why I’m one of the best homicide detectives in LAPD, but seeing in the dark ain’t one of them.”
“Neither is using proper English.”
“Hell you’re lucky I’m using any English at all, being of Latino descent, and this being Southern California.”
“This is America, you know.”
“Unfortunately there ain’t no such thing as speaking American.”
“Too bad.”
“And last time I checked we ain’t in England, so fuck English.”
We were waiting outside of Huntington High in my Mustang. It was past 7:00 p.m., and Bryan Dawson, or Pencil Dick, was still in his office. We had been waiting here for the past four hours. Students were long gone, including most of the faculty. We had watched the sun set over the Pacific.
“I’m hungry,” said Sanchez.
“There’s a Wendy’s around the corner. Why don’t you go get us something to eat.”
“Why don’t you give me the fucking money to go get us something to eat.”
“When was the last time you paid for anything?” I asked.
“The last time you helped me solve a case.”
I gave him the cash. Sanchez left, and the mere thought of a burger and fries made my stomach start to growl. We had been following Pencil Dick for four straight days. So far there was no evidence of any extracurricular activities on the part of the band director, other than his fondness for frozen yogurt.
Sanchez came back with a massive grease-stained bag of food. We ate silently and quickly, drinking from two plastic buckets that were passed off as jumbo drinks. And when we were finished, when the eating noises finally stopped altogether, when the debris had been collected back into the bags, I saw a familiar sight.
Coming down through a side hall, turning into the faculty parking lot, was a handsome man with dark hair. He was carrying a briefcase, and looked far too important to be just a band director. Or at least that was the impression he presented. He got into a red Jetta.
“Let’s roll,” I said.
Chapter Fifty-seven
Bryan Dawson lived in a condo about a mile from the beach. We were currently heading in the opposite direction.
“He’s not heading home,” said Sanchez.
“Astute,” I said.
I was three cars behind the Huntington band director, sometimes drifting back to four or five. To date, he had made no indication that he knew he was being followed.
“You’re following too close.”
“No, I’m not.”
“He’s going to make us.”
“He’s not going to make us,” I said. “And I’m the one who taught you how to tail.”
“But I’m the one who got all the tail.”
“So you say.”
We were heading deeper into Huntington Beach. In fact, we were just a few blocks from my office.
“Know someone works around here,” said Sanchez. “Thinks he’s a detective.”
The Jetta suddenly turned into an empty bank parking lot. I pulled to the side of the road and killed the headlights, giving us a good view of Pencil Dick. From the shadows, a lithe figured stepped away from the building and into Dawson’s car. The Jetta swung around, exited the parking lot and was soon heading back our way. Sanchez and I both ducked.
“You realize that we look like fools,” said Sanchez as the car sped past us. “The windows are tinted. They can‘t see us.”
“They especially can’t see you,” I said.
“Is that a comment on my darkish skin?”
“Your dark skin.”
“I’m proud of my dark skin.”
“Good for you,” I said, peeking up and looking in my rearview mirror. Dawson was heading south, probably home. I flicked on the lights. “And away we go.”
Chapter Fifty-eight
I followed four car lengths behind the Jetta. Judging by Dawson’s preoccupation with his newly acquired passenger, I probably could have followed directly behind him with my brights on, with little fear of being made.
“She just disappeared,” said Sanchez.
“In his lap,” I said.
“You think she’s inspecting the quality of his zipper?”
“She’s inspecting something.”
The Jetta swerved slightly to the right. Dawson over-compensated and swerved to the left. He finally regained some control, although he now drove more toward the right side of the lane and even on the line itself.
“Seems distracted,” said Sanchez.
“Yep.”
“How old do you think she is?”
“No way of telling yet,” I said.
“In the least, gonna nail him for statutory rape.”
“Got the camera?”
Sanchez reached around and grabbed a nifty piece of equipment. It was a high resolution camcorder with night vision capabilities.
“So you know how to work this thing?” he asked.
“No idea. But we should figure it out fairly quickly.”
The Jetta braked and made a right into a massive condo complex. I pulled immediately into a maintenance parking spot near the trash dumpster.
“Okay,” Sanchez said, “I’ve got it rolling.”
“Zoom in on the car.”
I heard the whir of the zoom feature, and watched the lens stretch out like a probing eye. A green light feature indicated that the night vision capability was currently being used.
“Keep it steady,” I said.
“That’s what your mom told me back in high school.”
“I didn’t know you back in high school. Plus, my mom was killed when I was ten.”
He pulled away from the camera. “No shit? How was she killed?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He shrugged, lifted the camera back up to his eye. “Fine.”
I said, “Here they come.”
“Nice choice of words.”
The girl emerged from her position in his lap. We both hunched down. The doors opened. I peeked through the steering wheel. Although the windshield was tinted, it was not as dark as the door glass. Someone looking hard enough could still spot us.
“You need to get a van. This is bullshit.”
“When you talk the camera moves. So don’t.”
They headed our way, laughing and holding hands. Dawson’s shirt was untucked. They continued toward us. Sanchez turned in his seat and followed them. As if on cue, Dawson stopped next to Sanchez’s door, turned the girl around, planted a big kiss on her lips, and felt her up.
“You getting this?” I whispered.
“Oh, yeah.”
“How old do you think she is?” I asked.
They continued up a flight of stairs and disappeared. Sanchez pulled the camera away from his eye.
“Too young.”
I said, “Goodbye, Pencil Dick.”
Chapter Fifty-nine
I was in my office, feet up on my desk, fingers laced behind my head, a classic detective pose. Of course I had just finished doing two hundred military push ups. Let’s see Colombo do that.
When the burn in my arms and chest had resided, I did some tricep dips along the edge of my
desk. I’ve been doing these tricep dips every day since I was fifteen. I could do them all day long. I was at two hundred and seventy-one when my fax machine turned on. I cranked out another twenty-nine, because I like things neat and tidy, finishing in a flourish just as the fax machine stopped spitting out its image.
The fax machine sat on top of a short bookcase. The bookcase was filled to overflowing with philosophy textbooks and modern philosophical works of particular interest to me, along with all of Clive Cussler’s novels, my guilty pleasure.
In my fax tray was a grainy photograph. A grainy police photograph, courtesy of Sanchez.
My stomach turned; I felt sickened all over again.
I carefully put the faxed photograph in a manila folder, grabbed my car keys and wallet from the desk’s top drawer and left the office.
***
Huntington Beach was paradise. The best weather on earth. Few people would argue with me on that point. I drove south along the coast. Something must have been brewing off the coast, because there were some amazing sets crashing in. Alert Huntington surfers, or, rather, those with no life to speak of, were capitalizing on the gnarly waves. Dude. Their black forms, looking from this distance like trained seals, cut across the waves.
Two miles up the coast I turned left and headed up a small incline and parked in front of Huntington High. My home away from home.
It was 3:16 p.m., school was just out.
I moved up the central artery, past hundreds of yellow lockers, searching down row after row, until I spotted a janitor’s cart parked outside a classroom.
***
Mario and I were sitting opposite each other in student desks that were entirely too small. My knees almost touched my ears. Desks seemed bigger in my day.
Mario was studying the photograph, not saying much. The scent of after shave, sweat and cleaning agents came from him.
Finally he looked up at me. “Yes,” he said slowly, enunciating clearly. “That is him.”
“You’re sure?”
He nodded. “You killed him?”
I said nothing. He said nothing and looked away.
“He was a motherfucker,” said Mario. “I am glad he is dead. He said he would kill my whole family.”
