by Amanda Aksel
“Kate, I can’t right now. My dad just had a heart attack, and I’m halfway around the world. I can’t deal with all of this at one time.”
Kate takes my hand. “Look, you don’t have to tell him tonight or anything, but tell him soon. Maybe it will help you decide what to do.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“What if he wants this baby? What if he wants you?”
“And what if he doesn’t. What if telling him will just make a bad situation worse?”
“It won’t. Mick’s a good guy. He’s a do-the-right-thing kinda guy. As far as accidental fathers go, you hit the jackpot.”
“I like him. I do. But I barely know him.”
“Yeah, he barely knows you too. I’m just saying, don’t rule it out. You have always wanted a family.”
“Yeah, but not like this.”
“Look at me. I was never supposed to fall in love or even get married, and now I’m both, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. And come on, it would be pretty cool if you two ended up together.” I have to say her argument isn’t bad. Still, it’s all too much to think about. After a “good night’s rest” and a shower in the morning, I can start considering my options.
“When are you and Drew going to have a baby?” I ask.
“Don’t change the subject. You need to get some sleep. I’ll come back in the morning.”
“Where are you guys staying?”
She smirks. “At Mick’s manor.”
I remember when he told me about his twelve-thousand-square-foot manor. The one he said wasn’t that big. It sounds a lot nicer than sleeping here.
Kate shuts off the lights and turns back. “Sweet dreams.”
“Bring me a Starbucks in the morning?” I say.
“You got it.” And with that, she’s gone.
13
K ATE’S QUIET ON THE RIDE HOME. A little too quiet. Maybe she’s just tired from the flight. Then again, New York is five hours behind. Drew and I use the time to catch up, and he tells me that he’s finishing up his most recent photography series and he’s got a show coming up in a couple of months. When we arrive home, Kate immediately excuses herself to take a shower and get settled. Something is definitely up with her. Maybe Beau told her about New York.
Drew doesn’t join his wife and instead offers to have a drink with me.
“I’m on call,” I say. “But you’re welcome to the finest whiskey in the manor.”
He smiles. “Sounds good.”
I take him over to the locked-up liquor cabinet and pull out one of his favorites.
“Very nice,” Drew says and doesn’t hesitate to pour the brown liquid in a crystal glass. After the day I’ve had, I wish I could indulge.
“Well, this worked out.” Drew takes a seat in the leather club chair.
“What worked out?”
“Us coming here for Beau. You being her dad’s surgeon. So now I can spend more time with my brother.” He lifts his glass to toast but then realizes he’s the only one holding a glass.
“It’s good to see you. How’s married life?” I don’t know why I bother to ask. By that easygoing look on his face and the way he kisses his wife, I know it’s going great.
“Brilliant,” he says. “I love it.” I’ll never understand how he got so lucky. I did everything right. I went to school. I got a good job. I met a girl. I was loyal and honest, and look where it got me? Drew defied our parents every chance he got. Slept with every model from every magazine, and now he has it all. In what world does that make sense? Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled that Drew’s happy. But don’t I deserve my happiness too?
“That’s good,” I say.
Drew rests in the chair and sips his drink. “So you had no idea you were operating on her dad, huh?”
“No, but his assistant made it very clear that he was the head of Pinnacle Studios and that I better keep him alive. I knew Beau’s dad was a studio head but I never made the connection.” But I did learn a few other details and made a connection in New York.
“Well, I feel bad for the old guy, but I’m kind of grateful for the excuse to come home.”
“I thought you loved it in New York,” I say, knowing that it’s not the place for me.
“I do,” he assures. “But it’s nice to come back here.”
“Are you thinking about seeing Dad while you’re here?” I ask.
“Yeah, I probably should. I haven’t talked to him much since the wedding. But that’s normal. Then again, he has been more attentive since Kent moved to California.”
“I think Dad feels pretty shitty about what happened. But instead of making it up to the son he hurt, he’s trying to get closer to his other sons.” Our other brother, Kent, found himself an American woman and pulled a Drew by moving to the West Coast of the States just to be with her after quitting his job working for our dad. I hate to say it, but I think my dad deserved what he got from Kent.
“Dad never had an issue with you, though,” Drew says.
I scoff. “That’s because I did everything he asked of me.”
“Ah, so that’s the trick, huh?”
“Come on, Drew. You’re not really that daft are you? Of course it is. He’s a control freak.”
“So, has he been asking anything of you lately?”
Um, yeah. He’s pretty much on a two-year cycle. Every couple of years he’s asked something of me, I do it, then he leaves me alone for a while. “He’s been pretty insistent about me getting engaged again. Mostly after your successful wedding. Well, semi-successful to him. He still thinks you should have used the backup room so all the guests hadn’t gotten soaked by the rain.”
Drew laughs. “Oh, come on. Some of those stick-in-the-muds he invited needed a little fun.”
“Getting caught in the rain is fun to you?” I raise my brow.
“Oh, yeah.” He nods, and I can almost see his mind going to another, much better place.
I chuckle and shake my head. Drew may be married but he’s still the same guy. I hate getting caught in the rain, even though it happens all the time in this city. But getting caught in the rain with Beau, that wasn’t so bad.
“So, what are you going to do about Dad?” Drew asks. “Is he going to set you up with a fake fiancée like he did with Kent?”
I roll my eyes. “God, I hope not. I have no interest in being engaged or getting married right now.”
“Did you tell him that?” Drew asks.
“Yes, and he still set me up with one of his tennis buddy’s daughters.”
“And then what happened?”
I give him a square look. “You know what happened.” It’s the same thing that would’ve happened had Dad introduced her to Drew BK, aka Before Kate. And that’s what I do now AD, aka After Davina. But, I’ve been doing it a lot less since that night with Beau. Maybe it was my little brother getting married, but after that I just felt like I wanted a more normal, stable life. Or it was her.
“What do you think about Beau?” I ask, watching my brother’s expression.
Drew gives me a funny look. “What? You mean for you?”
I shrug. “Yeah, why not?”
“I wouldn’t. Not right now anyway.” He takes a sip.
“Why?” Does he know that she’s pregnant? Does Kate know? She probably does. She probably knows everything.
“Because, man, her dad just had a heart attack. It might seem like you’re taking advantage of the situation.” Drew has a point, but still.
“That’s not my intention,” I argue.
“What else would your intention be? You’re not interested in anything serious. It’d just be a fling. Which, under normal circumstances, I would say, go for it. But not right now.” He shakes his head with a disapproving frown, and for a second he looks like Dad.
I let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. She’s just . . .”
“Gorgeous, I know. And she’s a good girl, too, like Kate. But she’s been known to p
arty and has had her fair share of flings. I don’t think she does that anymore.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
Drew shrugs. “I dunno. I guess she decided to go celibate for a while. So she’s not getting involved with anyone right now.”
“Since when?” Oh, God. Did she start that because of me? Then again, if she hasn’t slept with anyone since me, then I’m okay with that. But then what about the baby?
“I don’t know, maybe earlier this year,” Drew says.
My eyes fly open, and I jump to the edge of my seat. “Are you sure?”
Drew laughs. “No, but it’s been awhile.”
Okay, either Drew has no idea what the hell he’s talking about, or I’m the only one that Beau’s slept with recently, which means that the baby is definitely mine. Her choice for abstinence would explain why she said that things were complicated and we couldn’t sleep together. Even though we did. Again and again. It makes sense. Unless . . . Maybe she decided to have a baby on her own, and the baby she’s carrying really has no father. If she was trying to get pregnant around the wedding with medical assistance, then that would also be complicated. Or—
“You okay?” Drew asks.
I shake my head. “Yeah, I was just thinking about one of my patients. I should probably call and check on them.” I get up before Drew can say another word and head upstairs to my study. I sit in my desk chair and lean my head back, replaying that night. I had a fair amount of alcohol in my system, but I distinctly remember wearing a condom. Condoms aren’t one hundred percent but the chances of conception are really small. It’s possible but seems unlikely.
A few minutes later, there’s a knock. Kate stands in the doorway, keeping her distance. “Hey, sorry to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting.” Yes, she is, but I could use the interruption.
“I just wanted to say thanks for everything you did today, helping Beau and her dad. It means a lot.” A sincere smile spreads across her face.
“Of course,” I say, “it’s my job.”
“Right, well, anyway, we’re heading to bed.” She averts her eyes.
“Do you have everything you need?”
“Yeah, thanks.” She turns to leave. “Goodnight, Mick.”
“Hey, Kate,” I call after her. This time she actually steps into the room.
“Yeah?”
“Is Beau all right?” I ask trying to sound concerned but not too concerned given what I think she knows.
Kate tilts her head and fidgets with her fingers. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, she just seems like something’s on her mind.” I want to just confront Kate about Beau’s pregnancy but on the off chance she doesn’t know, I don’t want to be the one to tell her. Not like this.
“You mean besides the fact that her father cheated death? Or that she’s stuck in a hospital bed in a foreign country?” Kate makes it sound so simple. And maybe it is just that simple.
“Yeah, I just feel like there’s something else. Do you know what it could be?”
Kate swallows hard. “No, other than that she’s great. Fantastic even. Besides, how would you know if she’s not herself? You two hardly know each other, right?” She gives me a suspicious look, and now I’m convinced she knows something happened between Beau and me.
“You’re right. I don’t know her. Just a feeling, I guess.” It was worth a try, but clearly this conversation is going nowhere.
“I’m sure she’s fine. Thanks for your concern though. I’ll see you in the morning,” Kate says before leaving the room. “Good night.”
I sink back in my chair and let out a long sigh. I can’t keep guessing and playing this whole thing over and over in my mind. There’s only one way to handle this situation like an adult. I’m going to confront her.
14
T HE HUSTLE OF THE HOSPITAL outside my room nudges me awake. Time to get up and get the heck out of here. Despite the monitor beeps, footsteps passing in the night, and the unrelenting smell of sterility, I actually had a great night’s sleep. And damn did I need it.
I pull my phone from the charging cable and turn it on. There are no less than fifty missed text messages. Word must have gotten out about my dad’s condition. He’s not going to like that. I check for anything from Suzanne or Kate.
SUZANNE (7:18 p.m.): I’m heading back to the hotel, but let me know if you need anything. Feel better soon!
Aw, that’s nice. Here’s one from Kate.
KATE (10:03 p.m.): Mick knows something’s up. You need to tell him tomorrow.
“Shit,” I utter under my breath.
Then, as if from my own imagination, Dr. Mick-Dreamy walks into the room.
“Good morning,” he says with that stunning smile of his. “How are you feeling?”
I swipe under my eyelids, run my tongue across my teeth, and brush my fingers through my hair. I’m not ready to see this man right now. Not on the outside and definitely not on the inside. “Much better, thanks. What are you doing here?”
“I was worried about you being here all by yourself last night.” Normally, I would fawn over that comment and tell him how sweet it is of him to think of me. But after reading Kate’s text, I feel like this is a loaded visit.
“Don’t worry, I’m used to sleeping alone,” I say.
“Right, well, I also brought you some coffee. I don’t know how you drink it, so I brought tons of cream and sugar.”
For someone who doesn’t know me, he certainly knows what I need. “Thanks, just cream for me.”
“One, two, or three creams?” Mick asks, pulling a few creamer cups from the bag. Well, according to my junior high school sex ed class, it only takes one cream.
I swallow hard even though my mouth is bone dry. “Two will be fine.”
He pours each one into the cup before handing it over to me. “I hope you don’t mind. I got you decaf.” Now what kind of person brings decaf? I give him a strange look. “Come on, Beau. I know that you’re pregnant.”
I freeze. Did he say what I think he just said? My hand goes weak and the hot decaf plummets right off the edge of my bed. It hits the floor and splatters over Micks’ shoes and pants. “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry.” I hop out of bed looking for napkins, but my hands are shaking too much to do anything useful right now.
“It’s fine.” He grabs a couple of blue towels from a cabinet on the other side of the room and wipes himself and the floor clean. “I guess my timing isn’t great.” Boy is he right about that.
“How did you find out?” I ask.
“Dr. Ellis.”
“What?” You gotta be kidding me. Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn’t exist in the UK?
“She didn’t tell me, but I know she’s in OB, and she brought an ultrasound machine. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure it out.”
Well, maybe not a brain surgeon but certainly a heart surgeon. “Oh,” I say, lowering my quivering hands into my lap. My face is hot, and I just want to curl under the covers and be magically transported back to La-La Land.
“Look, I’m sorry to confront you like this, but I’ve been banging my head against the wall ever since I found out. You’re obviously early on in your pregnancy, and you and I did sleep together two months ago. I have to ask. Is it . . . ?”
This is it. This is the moment I tell him that he’s the father of my baby. But then what? He’s going to ask me why I didn’t tell him sooner? Then he’s gonna ask what I want to do? What if he insists I keep it? What if he insists I abort it before I leave London? I have no clue what I want to do. But Kate’s right. He needs to know. So I open my mouth, watching his entire body tense, his eyes grow worried. And now I know that I don’t want that look on his face to make my decision.
I know it. He’s hoping that I say, “No.”
Oh, shit.
Did I say that aloud?
Dammit!
Mick lets out a deep exhale, like he’s dodged a bullet. “Wow, I really thought that . . .�
� He rubs the back of his neck. “I mean, you and me . . .”
I laugh. “I know, right? That would be crazy sauce.” What the fuck is crazy sauce? I catch my own breath. Maybe it’s good that I didn’t tell him. He clearly doesn’t want to be caught up in this situation—world-renowned heart surgeon has baby out of wedlock after sleeping with his sister-in-law’s best friend at her wedding. Doesn’t sound too good for Dr. Mick-Perfect over here.
“Well, congratulations to you and your . . . boyfriend.” He looks uncomfortable saying the word boyfriend. Almost like he’s trying to hold in a fart.
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Great, Beau. You can be honest about your relationship status, but you can’t tell the guy it’s his baby. Maybe I am crazy sauce.
He gives me a curious look. “Wait. So . . . is this a donor situation? I know more women are doing that now. Usually not as young as you, but still.”
Okay, now’s the time. Either I tell him the truth, which he totally deserves to know, or I chicken out and say, “Yep, you guessed it. It’s a donor baby.”
I’m total chicken shit.
“I just wanted to be a mother.” After what I just did, I should be no one’s mother. What kind of influence would I be?
Mick’s eyes squint in thought, as if he’s calculating the weeks since we had sex. “So, that’s why you said it was complicated at the wedding.”
Nope.
“Yes, exactly. It’s hard to explain this kind of thing to most people without judgment.” Speaking of judgment, I hate myself right now. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to utter one word of truth!
“I understand. I’ve considered it myself.”
I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “I’ve been ready to have a family for a while now. But you know, things don’t always go the way you think they should. But I work so much. It wouldn’t be fair to bring up a child without a mother. And I don’t want my kid to be raised by nannies like my brothers and I.”
