“The better she’ll what?” Rose asked.
Harriett looked over at Rose, not comprehending what she was saying.
“You just said the sooner Maggie learns dreams aren’t real, the better she’ll…” Rose indicated for her to continue.
The better she’ll adjust to life’s disappointments, Harriett thought. But knowing Rose wouldn’t understand, Harriett shook her head. “Never mind. It’s not important.”
The carriage came to a stop, and Harriett opened the door before the driver could do it for her. “Come on, Maggie. Let’s go home to your pa.”
As silly as it might have seemed to Rose, Harriett held her breath in dread that Maggie would fight with her. But to her great relief, Maggie went over to her.
“Since you don’t want me coming to visit you,” Rose slowly began, “do you plan to visit me?”
“Yes, I’ll do that.” Harriett helped the girl down from the carriage and held her hand. “But Rose, I need to adjust to my new life first.”
Rose’s smile faltered. “Alright.”
Forcing aside her guilt, Harriett said good-bye. She got ready to shut the door when she realized the driver was standing behind her with the cup in his hand.
“Thank you again for the drink, Mrs. Craftsman,” he said.
Once she overcame her shock at being called ‘Mrs. Craftsman’, Harriett nodded and took the cup back to her mother. She’d never get used to being called Mrs. Craftsman. Never. Because deep down, she’d always know she didn’t marry for love. She would always have a marriage of convenience.
Chapter Eight
The next morning, Stan glanced at Harriett as they ate breakfast. For the most part, Harriett focused her attention on Maggie during their meals, and this morning was no exception. He couldn’t be sure, but he suspected it was because Harriett was hoping he wouldn’t talk to her.
He couldn’t be surprised, he supposed. She probably had no desire to spend any time with him. She’d only married him for Maggie’s sake. And by the way she didn’t like his answers about Randy and Maggie’s mother, he probably pushed her further away from him.
If only he could go back in time to the picnic and pay attention to her. He would have come to his senses a lot sooner, and they wouldn’t be going through this awkward phase right now.
But there was nothing he could do about the past. All he could do was try to make things better between them. Because if he didn’t, this wasn’t going to be the kind of marriage that would be pleasant for either one of them, and if that was the case, then he was sure Maggie would pick up on it.
He swallowed the last of his coffee and gently set the cup next to his empty plate.
“Maggie, finish up your pancake,” Harriett said in a motherly tone women often reserved for young children. “Then you can play.”
“I’m full,” Maggie replied.
“But you only have one more bite to go. Surely, you can manage that.”
Though the girl groaned, she picked up the last piece and shoved it in her mouth.
“With your fork,” Harriett said. “Maggie, a lady doesn’t eat with her hands.”
Maggie picked up the fork and put it in her mouth then proceeded to shove the pancake further in.
Gasping, Harriett took the fork from her. “Not like that. You could choke doing it that way.”
Despite himself, Stan chuckled.
Harriett stilled for a moment then, without looking at him, set the fork by Maggie’s plate.
“I’m sorry,” he told Harriett. “I didn’t mean to laugh.”
“It’s alright,” she replied but kept her focus on Maggie as she wiped the girl’s hands with a cloth napkin.
Well, she was talking to him, but she didn’t want to look over at him. But at least she was talking, and he’d take whatever he could get. Straightening in his chair, he gathered his courage and asked, “Would you mind watching Maggie while I go to my pa’s? He’s going to take some cattle north of here, and Luke and I usually help him get them on his trailer. Sometimes it goes smoothly, but there are times when it gets hectic and it helps to have us there.”
“My pa has cattle. I know how it is,” she told him, still avoiding eye contact with him. “You don’t need my permission to go there. I’ll stay here with Maggie.”
Not knowing what else to say, he settled for a simple thank you and added, “I should be home around five.” He paused. Usually, he fed the cattle before he left, but if she could do it, it’d be one less thing he’d have to worry about. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to feed the cattle around noon?”
“I can do that.”
“You sure?”
This time when she answered, she finally made eye contact with him. “I’ve done it a couple times for my pa. I grew up on a farm. I know what to do.”
“I didn’t mean to imply you don’t know what to do. I just didn’t want you to think I expect you to do it.”
“But it’s what I’m here for. To help you out.”
Though her tone was soft, he winced. Was that how things were going to be between them? Did this marriage of convenience go into every aspect of their lives? Couldn’t they at least be friends?
She picked Maggie out of her chair and set her on the floor. “Let’s try using the chamber pot like a big girl.” Without a glance in his direction, she added, “I’ll clean up when I get back.”
The two left the room, and Stan figured he was officially dismissed. This wasn’t how he imagined their marriage would be. He wasn’t sure what he pictured, exactly, but everything seemed to be so awkward. He didn’t like it.
He didn’t like it one bit. But what could he do about it? Did he just let things continue as they’d been and hope things would eventually get better? Or did he try to nip this in the bud and change things around as soon as possible?
The whole thing was silly. At one time, Harriett wanted to be with him. She was willing to bid on him at an auction so she could spend the afternoon with him. If she cared about him that much back then, then surely, all wasn’t lost.
Maybe there was a lingering sentiment left for him. Things weren’t hopeless. He might have been late in figuring things out, but it was better late than never, right? With a glance at the clock, he carried all the dishes to the sink then left the house.
***
“Where’s Maggie?” Stan’s mother asked as he walked into her kitchen.
“I don’t need you to watch her today,” he replied as he removed his hat and wiped his feet on the rug. “Is pa ready?”
“He’s in the barn with Luke.” She picked up a coffee pot. “Do you want some?”
“No thanks.” He took a deep breath and braced himself for her reaction. “Harriett made some coffee this morning.”
As he suspected, that got her full attention. “What was Harriett doing making you coffee? Are you hoping to court her?”
“No.” Though that would have been the ideal way to do things. Harriett should have been courted. Running his hands through his hair, he blurted out, “We got married the day before yesterday. I did think of inviting you and pa to the wedding, but she thought it best to make it a simple ceremony. I wasn’t in the position to argue with her.”
“I didn’t say it was wrong for you to marry her without me or your pa there.”
He relaxed. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “You should know after Emily eloped that your pa and I wouldn’t be upset about this. I’m just surprised she agreed to it after she said she didn’t want to marry you, that’s all.”
“I was surprised, too,” he admitted. And he still was. He didn’t deserve it, not after the way he behaved in the past. “She did it because she felt sorry for Maggie and wanted her to have a mother.”
“She also cares for you.”
“She did care for me.”
“No, she still does.”
He shook his head and glanced out the window. “You said Pa and Luke are in the barn?”
“Yes, I di
d say that, and I also said Harriett still cares for you. A woman doesn’t marry a man just to help him with his child. She does it because, deep down, she loves him and hopes one day he’ll return her feelings.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know a woman’s heart. She might be fighting her feelings, but those feelings are there.” She hesitated then came over to him, an action which made him stop looking out the window in favor of making eye contact with her. “Stan, I hope you’ll be gentle with her.”
Surprised by the worried tone in her voice, he asked, “What do you think I’m going to do?”
She shrugged. “There are many things, I suppose, but the big one is turning cold toward her. I married my first husband because I loved him, but he wanted to marry my sister. I thought, given time, he would eventually learn to love me, and if he couldn’t love me, maybe he’d think of me as a friend. But he never did, and in time, his feelings grew cold toward me until the day when he decided to send me to live with his mother.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” He knew she’d been married and became a widow on the same day Luke was born. However, she’d never chosen to disclose the details of her first marriage.
“You didn’t need to know it before. There was nothing you could glean from it. But now you can. I want you to keep in mind what I went through when you go home to Harriett.”
“I wouldn’t send her away,” he whispered.
“Don’t withhold the affections due to her either.”
He opened his mouth to tell her Harriett made it clear they would never share any affections but held his tongue. She was his mother, after all, and revealing the details of the arrangement he made with Harriett didn’t seem appropriate. It also wasn’t fair to Harriett. She wouldn’t want anyone to know about their marriage of convenience. At least, he didn’t think she would. He hated to think she told anyone about it.
Slipping his hat back on his head, he said, “I’ll be good to her, Ma.” And he would. He’d be the kind of husband Harriett wanted him to be, whatever that kind was. “I just wanted to tell you I married her and explain why Maggie’s not here today.”
“I’m glad you did, and for what it’s worth, you couldn’t have married a finer woman. In fact, I wouldn’t mind getting to know her better. Why don’t you bring her and Maggie over here for supper when things are settled?”
He wasn’t sure Harriett wanted to see his parents. Something about it seemed personal, and he didn’t think she’d welcome that level of intimacy.
“I’ll have to think about it, Ma,” he finally hedged when he realized his mother expected a response.
Though she seemed disappointed he hadn’t jumped at the chance, she smiled and wished him luck with the cattle. He returned her smile, thanked her, and left the house.
***
A week later, Harriett took Maggie to the mercantile in town to pick up some staple items. Stan had done a decent job of getting everything they needed, but with the things she wanted to make, she needed more. Her only concern had been whether or not Maggie would behave in town. She wanted to take Maggie. It was important that she prove to Stan that he hadn’t made a mistake in marrying her.
She didn’t want to dwell on why she worried about what he thought. She knew full well why she did, and admitting it to herself would only make her vulnerable. Once again, she rebuked herself for believing she could marry him without getting hurt. She still loved him. She kept thinking the longer she was with him, the easier it’d be to put aside such childish feelings. But it didn’t seem to be going that way.
“It’s only been a week,” she whispered as she pulled the wagon up to her parents’ house. Surely, she could overcome her feelings. A week was too soon to expect her heart to change. She hoped.
“What?” Maggie asked from beside her.
She glanced at the girl. “Nothing,” she replied. “It wasn’t important. I was only thinking aloud.”
The girl had fought her about leaving the house again, and to make matters worse, Stan had to help her—again. The only good thing about the girl’s temper tantrum was that Harriett didn’t have the time or energy to dwell on how close Stan was when he helped her onto the wagon. When she didn’t think of such things, it was easier to focus on what she needed to do.
Forcing her attention back to Maggie, she set the brake on the wagon in time for her older brother to come up to her from the barn. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Adam,” she assured him. “I just wondered if you or Ma or Eli wanted to go to town with me and pick up some things.”
“We went just the other day.”
Harriett frowned. She wished she’d thought to take Maggie into town sooner then. But she’d held back because she dreaded the trip. If she couldn’t handle Maggie in the barn, how was she going to do it in town? Maybe she should have asked Stan to come with her, even if she didn’t want to.
“Do you need someone to go with you?” Adam asked.
“Want tart,” Maggie said and scrambled down from the bench.
“No, you can’t have one today,” Harriett told her.
She stuck out her lower lip, much like Rose did when she was upset. “Want tart!”
Seeing the challenge in the girl’s eyes, Harriett offered a firm but kind, “No.”
The girl threw her head back and screamed.
Harriett’s eyes grew wide, and Adam murmured, “Whoa.”
Harriett looked at him. “I fed her this morning before we left. She’s full.”
“No! Hungry!” Then she continued to cry in a mournful tone that would make anyone who happened to pass by believe she was suffering a horrible fate.
“Stop this nonsense at once,” Harriett ordered.
But the girl refused to settle down. In fact, she only got louder, and, to Harriett’s horror, she started kicking her legs and flailing her arms.
In the next instant, Harriett’s mother, father and younger brother, Eli, came running out of the house.
“Is someone hurt?” her pa asked, rushing over to the wagon.
Harriett was sure her face turned bright red as the group gathered around Maggie. “She’s fine,” she told them, forcing back the urge to snap at Maggie for acting in such an unpleasant manner.
Truly, this was so embarrassing. Was this how Stan felt when this happened to him? She cleared her throat, praying her tone remained calm.
“She wants a tart,” Harriett said, “but she already had a full breakfast. She couldn’t possibly eat anything else.”
“I’m hungry,” Maggie screamed, large tears sliding down her face.
“Harriett, would you like me to take her into the house?” her mother asked.
“No.” The last thing Harriett wanted to do was let the girl into their house, even though it was tempting. The girl had to know when Harriett went to town, she’d have to go with her, whether she liked it or not. Harriett glanced at her family. “I was hoping someone might go with me to town. I wouldn’t mind a helping hand with some of the larger boxes.”
Yes, that was good. If she could make it seem like she needed help carrying the items, then she wouldn’t seem like such a failure as a mother.
“Why can’t Stan help you?” Eli asked.
“Stan’s probably busy with the animals,” her pa said.
While that was true, she felt no reason to tell them Stan had offered to go with her if she was willing to wait until after he fed the cattle.
“I’ll go,” Adam said.
Her pa nodded. “I’ll do your chores while you’re gone.”
Relieved no one was going to criticize her for her inability to handle Maggie, who was still bawling, she held the reins out to him. “I’ll take care of her while you drive.”
As she scooted over so Adam could climb into the wagon, Maggie tried to get out of the wagon. Harriett quickly pulled the girl onto her lap before she succeeded. The girl was so startled she stopped fighting and looked up at her.
&n
bsp; Her mother shot her an understanding smile. “It’ll get easier, Harriett.”
Harriett hoped her mother was right because it only seemed as if Maggie’s behavior was getting worse.
“You ready?” Adam asked her.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
Harriett fully expected Maggie to start crying again, but she didn’t. Instead, she fell asleep. Apparently, all the fighting she’d done wore her out. It’d worn Harriett out, too, but unlike the girl, she wouldn’t be getting a nap.
She had no idea being a mother could be so exhausting. She’d helped her mother with Eli, and she’d helped Isaac with his children, but she’d never taken care of them all day long. She’d only watched them for a few hours at a time.
“You want to lie down in the back and sleep?” Adam asked her when they were halfway to town.
“I’m wide awake,” she replied. At the moment anyway.
“She’s a handful, huh?”
“Yes, she is. More so than I expected.”
“You know who she reminds me of?”
She looked at him, her eyes wide. “You better not say me.”
“No. You were always an easy child. She reminds me of Rose.”
“She’s not completely like Rose,” Harriett said. Even in Rose’s worst moods, she wasn’t this bad.
“No, but Rose did have moments where she was hard to deal with. I overheard Ma telling Pa that she didn’t know what to do with her a couple of times.”
“Did you?”
He nodded. “Yep. Pa assured her that everything would work out, but Ma still worried she wasn’t doing something right.”
“Rose was never so bad she screamed and kicked because she couldn’t get something.”
“Well, that’s true,” Adam allowed.
“I don’t know what to do with Maggie,” Harriett admitted.
If it’d been anyone besides her mother, she probably wouldn’t have been so upfront and honest. But Adam had always been good about keeping confidences to himself. He was the type who didn’t even need to be told to keep something a secret. And best of all, he never passed judgment on what people did.
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