by Ryan Kirk
The next morning Kindra and Tev broke their fast together, and Kindra told him what she had discovered. She talked about the fact that they were the same. Tev didn’t find it as surprising as Kindra seemed to. They looked the same and acted the same, and he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal that they were the same. In his mind, he couldn’t imagine them being different.
Tev met the rest of Kindra’s clan. Alston was silent, and Eleta he had already briefly met. He was surprised there weren’t more people, and although he could tell Eleta kept a weapon on him while he was nearby, they talked for most of the day.
When they were done, Kindra made Tev an offer he hadn’t expected.
“Tev, we are leaving here tomorrow. When we do, I was wondering if you would like to come with us.”
“To the sky?”
Kindra nodded. “To the sky.”
Tev asked for time to think about it, and asked if it was okay if he camped outside that evening. To his surprise, again, Kindra agreed. “You can leave if you want. This isn’t a trap, and we won’t search for you. But, given everything that has happened, it makes sense to bring you with us. There are going to be a lot of people who don’t believe us.”
“What would it be like?”
Kindra shook her head. “I don’t know. Many people will want to do tests on you, tests like we did here. I will try to keep you safe, and Fleet is made up of good people. But the universe is in chaos, and I’m not sure what will happen. You will see more than you can ever imagine.”
Tev took her up on her offer to camp outside. He was given all his gear, and that evening, for the first time in what seemed like forever, he sat out under the stars next to a fire. It felt right and natural, unlike many of his experiences over the past few days.
Kindra surprised him one last time by coming out, unprotected, to be with him. She mentioned something about running some tests on Kenan to prove it was safe, but apparently she wasn’t worried anymore. They talked late into the evening, and Tev pointed out Lys in the stars. Kindra laughed and told Tev she had seen the same constellation and called it an explorer.
Kindra told him about growing up and wanting to study life, and Tev talked about learning how to hunt. As the fire burned down, Kindra stood up and gave Tev’s shoulder a squeeze. “We’ll leave tomorrow when the sun is high. Please let me know what you decide.”
Tev nodded. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping at all this night. And that was fine. He sat in the darkness and listened to the world around him. It was his world, and there was a part of him that couldn’t imagine leaving it. There was so much beauty, and the past few days had made him realize how much of his own world he still hadn’t explored. Then he thought of Neera slapping him, and he thought that no matter how beautiful his world was, there was no place for him here anymore. He had gone on a hunt the others wouldn’t understand and couldn’t accept.
Kindra’s words tumbled through his mind. According to her, there were other worlds out there, worlds both like this one and worlds that were very different, but through all of them, there were more people. Despite himself, Tev was starting to trust Kindra. But would all the other people be as trustworthy? What if others came and tried to kill his people like Kenan had? Tev knew, better than any other of his clan, just how useless their weapons were against the weapons of Kindra’s clan. If he was going to protect his clan, didn’t it mean leaving and fighting for them in other places?
Tev’s mind ran back and forth. To find solace, he started whittling an image of Lys. It was an old practice for him, an active meditation that allowed him to focus.
As the sun rose, Tev still didn’t have answers. All he knew was that this next day would change his life, and possibly the lives of everyone who lived on his world, the lives of all the people he cared about.
There was a rustle in the woods behind Tev, and despite a night without sleep, he was on his feet with his long knife in his hand in an instant. His first instinct was to worry that the clans had arranged another expedition to kill Kindra’s clan.
The truth was even more surprising. Only one person stepped out of the woods, and it was Neera.
Tev stood there, his mouth open. Neera laughed at him.
“So, even though so much has happened to us, you still can’t get your words straight when you’re around me?”
Tev laughed, a sudden courage overcoming his natural hesitance. “I think talking to you is the most terrifying thing I do.”
Neera laughed, and a tension Tev didn’t even know he was carrying faded away.
She came and stood next to him, and together they admired the ship only a few dozen meters away. “That’s the ship they came in?”
Tev nodded. “They offered to take me up into the sky with them. They are leaving today.”
A comfortable silence descended over the two of them, and there was a part of Tev that wanted Neera to make the decision for him. If she decided she wanted to be with him, there was no way he would leave. But if not, maybe there really wasn’t anything for him here.
Neera turned her head from the ship and looked at Tev. “Those things you said yesterday, are they true?”
Tev didn’t hesitate. “Yes, but I think you’ve known that for a while now.”
She smiled, and Tev’s heart was as light as it ever had been. “Yes, I have.”
“And you?”
She sighed. “For so long, I’m not sure I’ve known that answer. Most things in life are clear to me, but when it comes to my own emotions, I don’t know. There are other strong hunters out there who would provide well and give me strong children. But yesterday, when I saw you in that armor, my heart broke in a way I didn’t think was possible. You and I have known each other since we were children, and yes, Tev, I love you. It just took losing you for me to recognize it.”
Tev’s heart both sank and rejoiced at the same time. “You haven’t lost me. The decision is mine to make. I’ll tell them I will stay here.”
Neera shook her head sadly. “No. You need to go with them. I don’t know what is going on, but if there is anyone who can protect our people and figure it out, it’s you. When I saw you yesterday, I was angrier than I’d ever been, but then I realized that if it had been anyone else, our clan would probably be dead. You’re curious, Tev. You’re always focused on learning more. It makes you a strong hunter, and it makes you the only person I know who can make this journey. It’s a hunt far longer than anyone else has ever taken.”
Echoes of Lys’ words spoke to him, and a chill went down his spine.
Neera smiled at him, and he could see she was about to cry again. “And even if you can’t admit it to yourself, you want to go, don’t you?”
Tev nodded. He did. He wanted Neera and he wanted to leave. Two desires that would never mix. He cursed himself.
Neera leaned in close to him, and their lips met, lingering, unlocking a passion both of them knew would only be satisfied once.
Their love was quick and furious, and when they finished, Tev kept his arms wrapped around Neera, unwilling to let her go.
Neera squirmed in his arms, turning around so she could face him. She pushed herself gently away and allowed Tev to drink in the sight of her in the morning light. He was certain that no matter how far he traveled, he would never see anything more beautiful.
“Tev, I want you to leave with no regrets. I will always keep you in my heart, and I will remember you, every day. And if you come back, I would love to see you again.”
Tev’s own tears started to trickle down his cheeks. A part of him wanted to ask her to wait for him, but he knew it was foolish. She wouldn’t, and she wouldn’t expect him to. She had given all she could.
Tev gave her the last image of Lys he had carved. Something he hoped she would remember him by.
“I don’t know what will happen, but I will do everything I can to come back.”
She nodded, and with one last kiss, they separated.
Tev spoke again. “I will remember
you, every day.”
She laughed and gestured at herself. “You think you’ll be able to forget this?”
Tev knew he wouldn’t, and he was crying as he turned around, walking to the ship, which opened up for him. He stepped inside, and as the doors closed, he kept his eyes on Neera, watching as he left his world for good.
Tev didn’t bother going to the screens to see what Neera did after he left. She would go back to the clan and continue on her journey, just as he would continue on his. Kindra, sensing his turmoil, didn’t come to get him until they were about to take off.
“Tev, did you want to come see this?”
Mostly, Tev wanted to hide, but his curiosity overrode his reluctance. He stood up and followed Kindra to the observation viewscreens. They took off, and for the first time in his life, Tev was flying. He had a moment of panic, but he was expecting it and quickly found his mental balance once again. He watched with fascination as he saw the world he had grown up in fall below him. Kindra angled the screens down so Tev could watch as they flew.
Tev worried what would happen if they fell, but he trusted Kindra and allowed his fascination free rein. He could see landmarks he had grown up with, but soon even they became so small he could barely see them as they climbed higher and higher. From there, his attention turned to the sky as it turned slowly from blue to black.
Tev didn’t understand what was happening. He thought the sky would be blue forever, but Kindra told him the sky wasn’t blue everywhere. She told him that on different worlds it had different colors, but in between the worlds, in the space they were now, the sky was black, cold and empty.
Tev tried to understand, but he wasn’t sure he could. He accepted. If he was going to live like this, there was going to be so much for him to learn. He would have time.
Kindra eventually had to leave him. They were meeting up with a ship even bigger than this one, and she had work she had to do before they met. Tev didn’t have any guess what was next for him, but as he watched the stars off in the distance, all he knew was that he was ready to follow the hunt for as long as he could, chasing new prey until the day he died.
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No book is a journey taken alone, and I owe much to many. A small mention doesn’t nearly suffice, but I hope it helps.
To those of you who read the earlier drafts of this book and provided feedback, thank you. York, Katie, and Justin, you all are awesome, and your insights shaped this book into what it is.
To Andrei for his amazing cover and Sonnet for her thorough editing, I can never thank you enough.
To Bryce, for helping take care of the day to day details so I could write and write some more.
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And to everyone else I’ve forgotten who has helped me along this path, thank you.
