by Shen Hart
I dragged Dan over to the pitch-black bar that swept along one wall of the room. Blood-red lights were fitted along the inside edge to allow the barmen to see what they were doing. It added a fantastic edge to the experience. I leaned forwards and licked my lips as the barman came over to us.
"You're new here, what're you drinking?"
His eyes flashed with playful humour as I said, "Whatever you are."
I grinned at him and turned away to look out into the room. Even if our little pixie wasn't there that night, there were plenty of other similar beings, and one of them had to have an idea. Dan stuck close to me. I twisted around to see the barman had poured us both a large shot of Pasem. I raised my eyebrow. "And where's yours?"
He laughed and poured himself one of the glowing neon purple drinks and lifted it to us.
I pushed Dan’s to him and prayed he could hold it before I knocked mine back. Not everyone could handle the intense hit that was the fae liquor known as Pasem. Fire ran down my throat and sparks fluttered in front of my eyes. The buzz filled my mind and I felt as though I were floating for a minute or so. All of my nerve endings were singing and everything became more vivid. Every small glint of light radiated an incredible rainbow-type aura. I loved the fae.
Dan was breathing slowly and deeply and looking around himself wide-eyed. Poor virgin. I put my arm around his waist and led him out onto the floor. He dragged his feet a little while looking at everything in awe. It was truly a spectacle. Waves of colour and light faded in and out around various people, the balls of light above us swelled and shrank in a rhythmic pattern. Some of the songs sent ripples through the air. It was an incredible experience. I remembered the good days back when I drank Pasem every night. The world was a brighter, better place during those days, back when I lost myself in the wild colours and even wilder people. Everything danced. There was no middle ground of grey, it was all vibrant, shimmering, and beautiful. I had no cares in the world, because I knew that all I had to do was have a little more Pasem and everything would explode into the blissful kaleidoscope that kept me safe from the world.
Time didn't seem to flow properly. We wandered around for a little bit enjoying the experience. Everyone there was busy in some way or another. Some were clearly enjoying the effects of the Pasem themselves as they swayed and gazed in awe at the lights around us or simply sat and watched the people around them in a wide-eyed stupor. Dan began to stand up properly and regain himself by the time we found her. The bright red crop of hair flashed with purple sparks and bright pink roses. She turned around to greet us with a big grin. She leaned in and kissed Dan's cheek softly before hugging me.
"I'm so glad you made it!"
I trailed my finger down her back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
She pursed her lips and pouted for a second. "I did hope you'd find me."
We followed her to a booth of pitch-black leather that blended into the wall - we easily blended into the darkness once we sat on it. She sat with her legs crossed, showing off her toned thighs with her short skirt. Her dainty hands sat in her lap as she looked at us, waiting expectantly.
I placed my hand on her knee. "What do you know about the siren murders?"
She fluttered her eyelashes at me. "I'm not sure I know what you mean. Of course I know they’ve happened and they’re frightful, but you almost seem to be suggesting that I know, well, more…"
I smiled and ran my fingers up her thigh a little way. She maintained her eye-contact with me, a comfortable smile sat on her lips as she tilted her head slightly and surveyed me. “You’re really rather direct, aren’t you?”
That took me slightly by surprise. I’d been used to taking such a route with pixies and the related species. I smiled softly and thought about it for a moment. “I suppose I am. I don’t like wasting time on frivolous pursuits.”
She grinned and laughed at that. “And yet here you are, enjoying Pasem no less.”
I licked my lips and looked away. I had to acknowledge that she was right. I thoroughly enjoyed pursuing frivolous things, just not usually when it related to my work. To my tasks.
“Pasem is an old friend of mine.”
Her smile faltered for a moment. I’d clearly struck a nerve. “I’m sure that many creatures would say the same. But we’re not here to talk about that, now are we?”
Her eyes sparked and she leaned closer to me, allowing her low cut top to slip down and reveal the soft curve of her breasts. "I may know a thing or two about those murders."
I glanced back. Dan seemed completely lost. He was looking out at the people with a slightly alarmed and confused expression on his face. He was fine.
I leaned in and nibbled up her earlobe, "And what would those things be?"
She ran her fingers down over my hair and idly played with a strand, twisting it around her fingers as she looked around the room with a blissful expression on her face. One corner of her mouth twisted and pulled upwards, giving her a lopsided smile before she giggled softly and said, "I'll tell you for a kiss."
I pouted and looked at her trying to figure out her game. They usually made much higher demands than a simple kiss. It could be as easy as a night of pleasure or a few strands of hair, to a vial of blood. Blood was a powerful thing, and was never given lightly. It depended on the species and the mage, wizard, or other such user using it to quite what could be done with it, but the fact remained, it was always a risky offering. One that was never given lightly.
She licked up my throat. "I just want a taste of you."
I bit her bottom lip gently. "Seems fair enough to me."
I couldn't think of anything to lose from that deal.
She placed her hand on my hip and whispered in my ear. "There are very few beings which can control energies to that extent. You want the Puppet Master."
I tried not to frown. That made absolutely no sense. I didn't get much chance to think on it. Her hand wrapped around the back of my neck and her warm lips pressed to mine. For that brief moment, only she existed, the taste of sweet lime invaded my mouth, and then she was gone.
I opened my eyes to find that she really had gone. There was no sign or trace of her. Dan leaned back into his seat a bit and gazed up at the ceiling. Pasem always made me more tactile, and I saw no reason to restrain myself. We were pack, after all. I ran my fingers through his thick, dark hair, and he slowly turned to look at me with those fierce dark blue eyes. His pale pink lips parted just as a touch as he looked into my face.
He tilted his head and frowned a bit. "You're sparking. There are fireworks erupting from your head and your eyes are shimmering like an ocean under the moon."
He sat and watched me curiously for a few minutes before I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him to me. "You're a good guy."
He nodded and rested his head on my arm. "I am."
We both laughed at his forthright honesty before I sighed. The Pasem was beginning to wear off for me. The waves of light were reducing and dulling. While the club itself was beautiful and the energies were intoxicating, I had to consider Dan. I trailed my fingers down the back of his neck and kissed his forehead. There wasn't a reason for my actions. Thoughts had fled my mind.
I debated getting another shot of Pasem, but the fear that I would lose control and slip back into that habit changed my mind. My mood changed at the reminder of what had almost been. I decided it was time to go home. I wouldn’t fall back into that, and I wasn’t going to risk Dan being harmed.
We stood and made our way through the pulsing, swirling mass of people and light. I kept a close hold on Dan to stop him from wandering off, as he tried a couple of times. We emerged onto the street with the charcoal-sketch buildings. The heavy shadows sat between each carefully drawn brick in quiet contemplation. The moon was quiet that night, her serenade whispered softly onto the delicate breeze that brushed the treetops. The stars, however, were giggling at unspoken secrets that I hoped one day to share. I shook my head and grabbed onto Dan's hand
as he was trying to wander off the wrong way down the street.
He entwined his fingers with mine and gave me a goofy grin. "Your skin is really soft, like the finest silk."
I smiled at him, the poor soul. I had to ask, as we walked under the rusty orange light of the streetlamp, "Is this your first experience with Pasem?"
He stopped dead in his tracks, put one hand to his jaw and thought for a long moment before saying, "Yes. It is. I trusted you, though, so I did, entirely blind."
I tilted my head and pulled him forwards, continuing on our way home. I hoped I could remember the twists and turns. The city was laughing at me.
"Trusting me is a big deal for you, isn't it?"
The words trickled out of my mouth. I hadn't even realised I'd thought them. He nodded gravely. "It is. But you're special."
I smiled, and a warmth spread through me. I was special, and it was nice to remember that. The trees chattered and the flowers eyed us suspiciously as we made our way into the nicer part of the city again. Dan stumbled a little and walked slowly as he looked around him in apparent awe. When we walked through the front door of our building, the sun was stretched and pressing her presence out onto the horizon. Dan was still firmly, clearly intoxicated.
We tried to sneak up the stairs and into the apartment, but Dan insisted on stroking the walls and murmuring sweet nothings to them. I didn't feel quite so special any more. The lock seemed to clang and set off alarms made to wake the dead rather than its usual quiet click. I poked my head in and looked around. The living room was clear. We walked in and Dan collapsed on the sofa. He seemed comfortable enough, so I left him be. Unfortunately, things did not continue so smoothly. Alex appeared. He stood in the doorway in his boxers with his arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. I put my hands behind my back and tried to look innocent. I think that made it worse. He looked over to Dan and sniffed the air, his eyes darkened and his jaw tightened.
He said in a loud, snarling whisper, "You let him have Pasem!?"
I smiled sweetly. "He's a big boy. He can make his own decisions."
"Thalia, what were you thinking! By all above and below, I swear you're intentionally trying to sabotage this task. Stop being so inconsiderate, and do as the Sisters have told you!"
I glared at him and tried to ignore the sting that his words inflicted upon me. I wasn't intentionally being inconsiderate. I tried to look after the boys. I couldn't deny that I hated being bound to the Sisters, but to suggest I would sabotage it hurt, a lot.
I scowled at him. "Do not spit such foul words at me."
He curled his lip, "How much did he have?"
"One glass. I've been keeping an eye on him."
He sighed and allowed his shoulders to relax. "Fine, he'll sleep it off then."
With that, he turned and returned to the bedroom, leaving the door halfway closed. I ignored it and curled up on the armchair, where I thought about far too much.
I had to wonder if perhaps he was right. There was a small chance that I was subconsciously trying to sabotage the task. I gulped back the tears and tried to keep control of myself and think things through. I used to take tremendous pride in my duty. I had been compelled to complete all of my tasks thoroughly and efficiently. I got a buzz from it, the satisfaction of a job well done and knowing that I had helped people. That I’d made a difference in the world. I’d never been particularly happy about the lack of freedom, but they’d given me enough to enjoy myself. I could shift, hunt, and have downtime to enjoy the company of others. Tears began streaming down my cheeks as the thoughts ran rampant around my mind. My bottom lip trembled and I curled up into a small ball, an attempt to hide from the world as I battled with myself, trying to understand what had happened. I needed to see what I’d become.
One question ran around my head incessantly, singing it’s dark tune, “Had I lost my path truly, and become so broken?”
I tried to regain some control over my shallow breathing while I ignored the small pools of tears forming on my hands as they were clenched up beneath my head. My body refused to tuck up any smaller, while the question increased in its aggressive determination to have me answer it. The little feather from the choker they’d given me brushed against my hand, a cold, sharp reminder of my place in the world. Of everything I was supposed to be, that I could be and was.
I was proud of my position as alpha, I would have done anything for my pack, back before everything happened. I hadn't realised how much I'd changed, how much had passed me by. I felt shattered and lost, unworthy of all that had been given me. I hadn't meant any harm with Dan. It had seemed like a carefree thing to do that would help us get some information, which we so direly needed. I steadied my breathing and tried to be logical about everything. Had I harmed anyone? No. Had I jeopardised the task at hand? No. Then everything was still salvageable. I had to calm myself down and stop acting on my emotions. I was a Wyrd Bound alpha, and it was time to remember that, to believe it, and most importantly, to act it.
25
I woke up to Ryan and Nik trying to be quiet as they argued over who got the bathroom first in loud whispers. I cracked open an eye and looked at them, then over to Dan. He seemed to be sound asleep. With the memories of the thoughts the night before firmly in my mind, I allowed the jaguar forward. I walked over to Dan and sat next to him on the sofa, stroking his hair and allowing my energies to run over his. He felt slightly spiky and rough around the edges where the Pasem had had such an impact on him. I allowed mine to wash over him and smooth them out, which would then make him feel better overall. Of course, I could have done it from a distance, but I wanted the contact with him. My maternal instincts were kicking in. The role of an alpha is quite often very maternal, for me at least. I care for my pack, I will do whatever it takes to make sure that the pack as a whole runs smoothly and that all members are safe and happy.
It had been a very long time since I felt those instincts and desires, but they were beginning to surface. The wolf shunned them, the raven watched them with curiosity, but the jaguar embraced them. So I embraced the jaguar. I needed to move forward, and I couldn't see a better way to do that. Dan took a deeper breath and sat up a little straighter as he slowly opened his eyes. His brow furrowed and his mouth tightened a little, but he smiled and stretched.
"That was one hell of a night. We’ll have to do it again sometime."
I smiled. "How much do you remember?"
I continued to stroke his hair and settle the remaining little tufts of stray rough energy. He leaned into my hand for a moment and allowed his cougar forward, bringing him to almost purr.
Nik had won the argument over who got to go into the bathroom first, which left Ryan standing on the other side of the room looking at us with some confusion.
I pulled my hand back and smiled at Ryan. "He had his first taste of Pasem last night."
He grinned and nodded. "Ah, well he looks better than I did after my first taste of Pasem." He laughed quietly to himself and took a seat on the other sofa. "Man, that was one hell of a night. I felt like some vile demonic beast had dragged me through the entire city, crashing through the buildings. I swore blind my head had actually split into two pieces and my skin was peeling away from my muscle." He shook his head, laughing to himself softly, "One hell of a night."
I laughed with him, "I can't say my first night with Pasem was quite so rough." The images flashed back through my mind. "I shared it with this delightfully sexy little fae. His hands were as soft as freshly spun clouds and he knew how to use them..."
Ryan looked away for a moment while he decided how to react to that. Dan groaned softly and said, in a slightly scratchy voice, "Well, my head feels to be in one piece and my skin is firmly attached. I actually feel pretty good. I mean, the light’s a bit painful, but I can think and move. I don’t appear to have any bad memories, either."
He glanced to me and offered a small nod. "With thanks to Thalia."
I smiled and jumped when Alex appeared
behind me. He had that growl in his voice when he said, "Good to see you recovered ok. It was reckless of Thalia to do that to you."
Dan bristled, "She didn't do anything to me. I was offered a drink I hadn't tried before, and I took it and drank it of my own volition. You may view me as a cub, but that doesn’t mean that I’m too young to make my own decision. I was in no way forced into anything. It was a new experience which I was happy to try."
Alex growled softly before he sighed and walked into the kitchen. "Who's having pancakes for breakfast?"
We all agreed that pancakes were absolutely what we needed for breakfast. Dan remained quiet, but waited his turn for the bathroom. He seemed to be fine. Alex was quiet and brooding throughout breakfast. He spoke only when he had to, and the boys avoided him. The boys and I, however, discussed Pasem, our experiences of it, and the best moments. I felt better about the entire situation, as though I was beginning to fit in a little better. A weight was lifting from me that I hadn't realised I'd been carrying.
Alex leaned back in his seat and looked between Dan and I. "Did you manage to get any information last night?"
I'd completely forgotten about that part of things. I ran back over the night in my head and pulled forward the relevant memory.
"All she said was the Puppet Master is the only being which can control energies to that degree."
He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "The Puppet Master?"
