Ali looked at the price tag. ‘Oh my God, it is five thousand euros! Is that normal? This is crazy. It is far too much,’ she said as she started to take the dress off.
‘Ali, your dad and I’ve the money for this wedding, and want you to have whatever makes you happy, so if you want the dress we could get it. Forget the rest of those places and appointments.’
Ali looked at the two-piece corset and skirt. ‘No, let’s just take the dress details, and go check some others out. Anyway, I’m too hot to decide. These dresses are all so heavy. I’ll need a mini-fan built into one of them on the wedding day, or else I’ll collapse before the altar.’
As Ali walked out of the shop, she took one last look around at all the dresses and eager fiancées, and saw the dress she loved being hung back on the rail, ready for someone else to squeeze into. Hopefully no one else will like it, she thought, as she headed to the car and on to the next shop.
67
It had been a week since Joe O’Connor had had his heart-attack. Ben felt like his whole life had been on hold. He had barely left the hospital. He had had to bring his laptop in once or twice and email some older reports to work, from the hospital canteen, as you were not allowed computers on the wards, and apart from running home every night to sleep and eat, himself and his mother had mainly stayed right at Joe’s bed.
Joe’s operation had been successful, they thought, and he had awoken briefly, but then, after complications he had had to be operated on again. Now he was just back out of theatre, and sleeping.
Maura looked like a shadow of herself: she had not only managed to age in one week, but to lose weight – and her spirit, it seemed. Maura went through phases of telling Ben every story possible about Joe: wonderful ones about when they first married, as well as funny holiday anecdotes. But then, other times, she barely spoke for hours, seeming to focus on just looking at Joe, wishing him to awaken and be better.
Ben thought his dad’s heart-attack had maybe made his mum aware of her own mortality, made her realize none of them would live for ever, that the older you got, the less time you had. The experience had made Ben feel like that, too. Made him realize he had no one apart from his parents to sit beside his own hospital bed if he got sick; no one to will him better. He needed to change that: his young single days were wasting time that should be spent with someone he could love and care for, and who would love him back.
Ben had gone down to the canteen to buy some sandwiches for lunch, and after negotiating a long queue made his way back to his father’s room, with lunch for himself and his mum. When he got back he saw his mum had made a big list of things on an A4 page.
‘What is that, Mum?’
‘It is all the things your father does and organizes that I don’t have a clue about. A list I don’t know how to cope with. How will I manage if he never recovers? I don’t even know which health policy I’m on, or when the golf club memberships renewal date is, or how much they cost, or who we’ve our house insurance with, or when my car tax is due. I’m lost, Ben.’
Ben didn’t know what to say, but started looking through the long list. It reminded Ben how much his dad took care of everything in their house, from mortgage payments to plumbers, from paying the car insurance to credit card bills. Ben himself didn’t know the answer to half the questions. What have I been doing? he thought. Living in a bubble, oblivious to real life and grown-up responsibilities, while his dad had carried all the stress. Ben felt guiltier than ever.
68
Ben was talking to his mum about when he would have to go back to work, when suddenly he heard his dad whisper.
‘Maura, Maura?’
‘Joe, oh my God, Joe, are you OK?’ Ben’s mother cried.
‘I don’t know what is happening, I feel like I’ve been dreaming. Am I really in the hospital? I remember trying to talk before, but it seems like years ago,’ Joe replied.
‘No, Dad,’ Ben answered, ‘that was a few days ago, you had a heart-attack a week ago, and have been into surgery twice. We were so worried. Mum has been here all this time, and so have I.’ Ben hugged his dad, tears of joy and relief in his eyes.
Maura filled Joe in on what had been happening, and explained how she had found him. ‘You scared me half to death. Joe, you know I can’t live without you, don’t ever let anything like that happen again.’ And she started crying.
Joe looked at Ben, and Ben felt guilt burning inside him.
‘I am so sorry, Dad, it’s all my fault. I should have mowed the lawn, and should have told Mum about that day on the golf course when you felt ill. I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself.’
Joe took Ben’s hand.
‘You are my own son, my only child, I love you, and am not upset with you. I’m a foolish old man who should have known better. Thank you for looking after your mother for me.’
They talked for a few more minutes before Joe fell back asleep; they knew he was in for a long recovery and they were not out of the woods yet. As his mum chatted to the nurse, Ben walked into the corridor to answer his mobile phone.
‘Ben, it’s Jeremy. How’s your dad?’ Ben filled him in on the good news.
‘That’s great, I’m delighted. And I hate to ask you this now, but I need to know when you will be back for work.’
Ben knew he had to go back, and if his father was improving he had no excuse.
‘I will be back tomorrow morning. I still might need to take a few holiday days, but tomorrow I’ll be in first thing, I promise.’
‘That is great, Ben, thanks. And another thing, are you still coming to the wedding? Have you booked your flights?’
Jeremy was getting married in Spain, and Ben had completely forgotten it was next week. He had booked his flights ages ago, and even though it would be great fun, a holiday, he knew his mother would not be able to cope without him yet.
‘Jeremy, I’m so sorry to do this, but I’m going to have to cancel. I really am. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’
Jeremy went quiet, but then said he understood, and said they could discuss it more in the morning, and with that was gone. Ben felt a pang of annoyance that he was going to miss the wedding of the year in Marbella. All his friends would be going, but then when he saw his father still asleep and hooked up to machines he knew he had made the right decision. It was time he stepped up and became the person his father knew he could be.
69
Molly was so distracted: at work, at home with her family, or out with her friends. She and Luke were not getting on, and her mind was preoccupied the whole time with thoughts about them and whether they had a future. She was in a daze, and even though what she cooked, baked and made was good and perfectly edible, she knew she could do better. Her mother, who was working in Heavenly for just one day that week, noticed straight away that Molly was troubled.
‘Molly, you have barely spoken all day today. What is wrong, pet?’ she asked.
Molly didn’t know where to start. She didn’t really know why Luke was so cross and unhappy with her and she was also embarrassed about telling her mum that everything was not going swimmingly with him. She sniffled, trying not to cry.
‘Mum, I think Luke might not want to be with me any more.’ And with that all the worry and tension that had been building up inside her came rolling out, and tears streamed down her face.
‘Oh Molly, I’m so sorry. Tell me what is wrong,’ her mum said. She poured Molly a cup of tea, and started slicing the chocolate fudge cake that she had made earlier. Molly explained about the arguments and about how, even though Luke had been supportive at the start, he now seemed to resent her new job and passion for cooking.
‘You know, Mum, one of the hardest things I ever did was quitting my funds job. I was leaving a job I’d trained and studied for for years. I was frightened of change, but I told myself I had to cope with it. And after I started work here I thought everything was settled at last. But now it seems I’ve got to adjust to even more change: my relationship w
ith Luke may not last otherwise. I do love him, Mum, but I’m so worried about what’s going on between us at the moment.’
‘I know you love him, pet. Luke is a lovely guy. He’s been so good and patient – he’s a saint – but now he has to understand that you are at an exciting time in your career. It is a busy time, but it is fulfilling, too. I’m so proud of you. But now that things are beginning to settle and you are finding your own niche, maybe Luke is the one finding it hard.’
‘Do you think so?’ Molly considered.
‘You just need to talk to him calmly and quietly, love.’ And with that Molly’s mum went back to making fresh salads for the café, as it had started to fill up for the lunchtime rush. Molly spent all day thinking about what her mum had said, and didn’t even look at Scott Williams or any of the café’s sandwich order clients as she did her deliveries. All she wanted to do was get home, and talk to Luke.
70
Molly had left work early, so she and Luke could have the whole evening to talk. They needed to sort through this mess. She decided to prepare Luke his favourite meal: fillet steak, mash and pepper sauce. Even though Molly loved fish, and was always trying to get Luke to try new dishes, he still loved his steak; so she started to peel potatoes to prepare the mash. She had butterflies in her stomach: she knew their talk that night would not be easy. She didn’t even know where to start, but something had to happen, had to change. She could not feel guilty every time she had to work, she needed Luke to understand that. She needed someone to congratulate her when she got new offers, not someone who would sulk at how her catering might affect his weekend plans. Luke walked through the door at 7 p.m., and Molly could see he was surprised that the table was all set and the food almost ready. He made no attempt to give Molly his usual welcome-home kiss, but she said nothing, just poured him some wine.
‘What’s all this for?’ Luke asked suspiciously, as he sat down and started to eat some of the fresh bread Molly had cooked while waiting.
‘Well, I just thought we needed to spend a nice evening in together and talk properly.’
Luke said nothing as he buttered his bread. When Molly started mashing the potatoes he finally broke his silence.
‘You know making mash or frying a steak is not going to make up for all this time we keep losing, due to your extra work commitments. I’m not that easily bought off,’ he said snidely.
Molly was shocked by his tone, but sat down opposite him, and after a sip of wine replied. ‘Luke, I’m not trying to bribe you with food. We need to talk, and I thought you might like this meal. There’s no need to be cruel about it.’
‘OK, Molly, I’m sorry for saying that. But let’s be honest: you care more about food and your work than me nowadays.’
Molly felt like she was listening to a broken record. ‘Luke, why are you acting like a spoilt child? You must understand that for the next few months my work will be very important. I need to work hard to pay my aunt back for being so good and taking me on, and I also need to start taking extra catering jobs on in order to get more experience and cash.’
‘But what about us, Molly? I mean, one minute I’ve us booked into a scuba-diving course and the next you say you prefer a cooking course? Where does that leave our scuba holiday?’
‘I don’t know, Luke. I just have to do the cooking course. I’ll try to get some extra scuba lessons in before we go away, I promise. But even if I can’t dive that much when we are away you still can. It’s not the end of the world.’
‘It is to me, Molly. One minute you are not going diving, next you won’t be coming on the holiday. I know how this will work out.’
Molly could not understand his childishness and bad temper. As she put the steaks on to fry, Luke poured himself more wine. Neither of them said anything until the steaks were cooked and Molly had served them with the mash and pepper sauce on the side.
‘Thanks,’ Luke mumbled.
Molly tried to change the conversation, and told Luke some of the funny things that had been happening in the café. He didn’t seem that interested, but maybe that was just the wine, she thought.
‘Oh, Molly, I forgot to tell you. Louise and Bryan have invited a gang of us down to their house in Brittas Bay the weekend after next. It’ll be fun, spending time with our friends together. You haven’t seen any of the lads in ages, what with your work and all.’
Molly ignored the little dig, but said she would love to go, maybe the fresh air and walks along the beach were just what they needed. It wasn’t until she was telling Luke about Sarah’s new man from Galway, that she suddenly remembered Sarah’s sister Mel and the christening.
‘Oh, Luke, I just remembered. I can’t go to Brittas that weekend, I’ve Mel’s christening party on the Saturday. I’m sorry.’
Luke slammed down his knife and fork. ‘I knew it was too good to be true. You have no interest in me, our friends or holidays. Just forget it, I’ll go alone. Good luck with the christening.’ And with that he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.
Molly looked at his plate: his steak and mash were only half-eaten. He had to be very upset to abandon his favourite meal. Oh God? What have I done? she worried. And as she cleared the plates she struggled not to cry.
71
Sarah sat in her back garden, her long legs stretched out, a sketch pad in her hand, trying to get ideas for Ali’s wedding invite. She still couldn’t believe she’d agreed to do it, but Ali’s confidence in her had made it impossible to refuse. It was a lovely warm evening, and Hugh had dropped by, with the intention of taking her out for dinner, but before Sarah had had time to get her handbag, her mother had grabbed him.
‘Well, with a man finally around the place, why don’t we crack open the barbecue, and fling some steaks on? I can make a nice salad, and we’ve potatoes, too.’
It wasn’t so much a question, as an order, so Hugh was now trying to get the ancient barbecue lit. Sarah laughed as she heard her mum explaining how it didn’t matter that one of the barbecue legs had broken, and had to be propped up with a brick.
‘We have cooked more burgers, steaks and marshmallows on this beauty than any fancy barbecue.’
As Hugh helped Sarah’s mum prepare the food, Sarah sipped her beer. She knew better than to interrupt her mother’s interrogation of Hugh. He might as well get it over with now, she thought. Her mum had been asking her questions non-stop about Hugh, and how their relationship was going. Sarah didn’t have all the answers, it was still early days, but she knew she liked Hugh, and enjoyed spending time with him.
Over dinner Hugh unwound and told them more about his childhood in Galway, summer days in Clifden, and part-time jobs in many of the touristy pubs and bars. ‘I still miss the place, it’s such a great city, and I make a point of going home as often as I can. Don’t get me wrong, Dublin has its advantages: if it wasn’t for living here and my discovery of the Stone Studio I might never have met Sarah!’
Sarah blushed, but secretly loved the way that Hugh was open, and not afraid to say what he felt in his heart. He was so different from most guys. Maybe it was because he was not from Dublin, or because he was confident and yet kind at the same time. As Hugh helped clear the table, and put the left-over salads into the fridge, Sarah’s mum started washing some strawberries and whipping cream. Sarah felt totally relaxed. Maybe it is these beers, she thought, but having Hugh rattling around the kitchen with Mum feels normal and right. It calmed her, and as she watched her mum lead Hugh around the garden to show him her different plants and garden ornaments, Sarah was inspired to try a different design for the wedding invite. It just needs to be simple, she thought, simple and elegant. And so she began drawing the back of a bride and groom walking up the aisle, with their clothes and hair flowing, and yet intertwined. As she drew more she realized she was on to something, that Ali would like it. Hugh was inspiring her again, just the way he had when he’d left that blank canvas outside the art gallery. She put aside her beer and took out her paints and brushes
.
72
Ali and Robin were on their way down to Kilkenny for the weekend. They were doing their ACCORD marriage guidance course in Kilkenny city at the weekend, and it started on Friday night, so they had both finished work early. But all the same, they were hitting all the Friday traffic on the M50.
‘We are going to be late, Robin, I knew we should have taken a half-day off.’
‘Ali, you know I’ve to start conserving my holiday days for the actual wedding.’ Robin sighed.
As Ali fretted over the traffic, and tried to phone her mum to say they might not have time to go home for a family dinner before the course, Robin turned up the radio. Everyone was talking about the big football match on Saturday afternoon. It was a sore point for Robin: he was gutted that he would be ‘locked up with a priest and crazy engaged couples’ instead of watching the match in his local pub. He had no interest in doing the course, but Ali was excited, saying she had heard it was a very interesting experience and most couples really enjoyed it.
‘Obviously they’re a bunch of nerds,’ Robin had remarked. But Ali had not laughed, so now, as they started slowing at the traffic tailback, he was trying to just go along with the idea of the course, despite having to miss the biggest football match of the year.
Finally they made it to Kilkenny city, and Robin managed to find a place in the Kilkenny community centre car park, and they rushed into the hall. Luckily the course had not started, so they grabbed two chairs and sat down. As people moved chairs and took off their coats, Ali could see that everyone was eyeing each other up. They were trying to see how old everyone else was, how anxious or bored they looked at having to do the course, and, most importantly, sizing up each other’s engagement rings.
Are You Ready? Page 13
