by Jamie Pope
“You’re good for him,” she’d said into Virginia’s ear.
Virginia disagreed. She worked for him.
“Hey,” Carlos said as he came to stand behind her.
“Hello.” She tried to focus on her sketch but couldn’t because he was standing so close to her. She could feel the heat of him, smell his clean scent. He had a way of affecting her senses, scrambling her thoughts into mush and making her common sense flee.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Am I taking up too much space here? I can go into my room to work if this is bothering you.”
“Virginia...” He pulled out the chair beside her and sat down. But he still didn’t give her any space; he sat too close to her. His big body was touching hers. “I missed you at lunch today. I wished you would have come.”
“I was working. I work for you, remember? I can’t afford any more distractions.”
“I’m sorry.” He set his lips on her shoulder. “I was an asshole. You should be mad at me. There’s no excuse for what I said and I’m sorry for it.”
She had nothing to say. She was feeling dangerously close to tears. This was the exact opposite of what she wanted. This was what her mother had warned her about—getting too emotional. Growing too attached. Thinking with her heart instead of her head.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “My sister is mad at me and my brother thinks I’m a fool. They both think I’m lucky to have you in my life right now.”
She shut her eyes, feeling her chest grow heavy.
“Say something.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Say something besides that.”
“I thought I was your friend, but you treated me like an employee, which I am. But you can’t have it both ways.”
“You’re my friend.”
“Friends speak their minds and friends tell each other the truth. Friends are proud of each other. I’m proud of you and I’m not sorry about that, and I don’t regret telling your family that, because you should be proud of yourself, Carlos. You’re not just a bank account or a baseball player. You don’t have to put yourself in any one box, and you don’t have to be ashamed of anything that you do.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t tell them. I guess I was going to wait until it was over, because if I failed no one would know but you and me.”
She shook her head in confusion. “Why do you keep thinking you’re going to fail? You haven’t failed at anything yet.”
“Baseball made things easier for me. I didn’t have to study that hard in school. Teachers passed me. The principals looked the other way. Having me play for them was good for the school. All I had to do was show up. That’s why I wasn’t sure I could do this. I was afraid I was dumb.”
She laughed. “Everybody is a little dumb in some way. You’re not dumb, Carlos. Don’t ever think of yourself that way.”
He cupped her face in his hands, slowly stroking his thumbs over her cheeks. “I’m the one who is trying to apologize to you. You’re not supposed to be making me feel better about me. I really am sorry, Gin.” He gently kissed her lips. “I don’t like that I hurt you.”
She believed him. She looked into his dark green eyes and she believed him. “I know, but you only get one of those. If you hurt me again, I’ll be out of here so fast your head will spin.”
* * *
Virginia looked up at Carlos as he stared blankly at the television. It was one of the rare times she spent time in his room. He had always come to her. There had never been any discussion about it. But tonight she was here, huddled under a blanket with him, their bodies touching, as close as two people could physically get, but she almost felt alone. As if he was someplace else, far away. He had been that way for a few days now. Quiet. A little distant. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was the one who was distant. They had made up. She had forgiven him, but was doubting herself. Questioning if still being with him, even casually, was the right thing to do.
Rationally she knew it wasn’t, but there was something about him that wouldn’t allow her to break away.
Somewhere along the way she had stumbled headfirst into love with him.
Of course she had. It was something she would do.
But at least she was smart enough to know that she couldn’t stay in love with him forever.
The house was coming along nicely. A few more weeks, maybe a month, and she would be done. She had taken inspiration from catalogs but bought pieces locally and refurbished some things people wanted to get rid of on the island. No waiting fourteen months for lamps. She had no plans of extending this any longer than needed.
Maybe Thanksgiving would be a good time to break things off. They would be away from each other then. She hadn’t been away from him one night since she’d walked in his front door in late August. Maybe they needed some space from each other. Maybe she needed some time away from him. She was leaving for New Jersey the day after tomorrow. It would be the perfect time. She could think clearly. Be away from him, from his kisses, from his touch, from the way he looked at her as though she was the only woman in the world.
The news came on; the police drama she had barely been paying attention to was over. “Record-breaking storm to hit the northeast could affect travel plans for the holidays.”
“What?” Her heart dropped. She was going home to see her brother. She wanted to talk to him. When nobody else in the world understood her, he did.
“It looks as though it’s going to clear up Thanksgiving night,” Carlos said, grabbing her hand and stroking his thumb across her knuckles. “You can fly out the day after.”
“This messes with your plans, too. Are you still going to your sister’s?”
“No. I was just going to stay here.”
“Why? You have family that wants to see you.”
“My sister Christina has a big dinner with her husband’s family and I’d rather shove a fork in my eye than spend a holiday with Ava’s prig of a fiancé. Besides, my mother is right. Thanksgiving isn’t the same without my father. It was his favorite holiday and it’s just not the same.”
There it was again. That sadness in his voice, that grief that made her heart hurt. “How was it?”
“It was...fun. My dad had taken to deep-frying a turkey and grilling a rack of ribs his past couple years with us. We’d play cards and board games, and he would always cheat. It just seems wrong to celebrate without him. It’s been five years. I thought I would be over it by now.”
She cupped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. “You never get over losing someone so close to you. I didn’t know your father, but I know he wouldn’t want you still mourning his loss instead of celebrating his life on his favorite holiday. He wouldn’t want you to be alone. He wouldn’t want you to avoid celebrating or being thankful for all the things you do have.”
He wrapped his arms around her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I’ve always worked hard, but I really threw myself into the game when he died and it got us to the World Series. Then it was all gone...just like that. Just like he died. A heart attack. Here one day. Gone the next. Losing baseball made me feel as though I had lost him all over again.”
“He’s not here with you on Earth, but you didn’t lose him. Maybe it’s a good thing the storm of the century has changed our plans. Maybe we are meant to celebrate his life instead.”
Chapter 10
“Where are we going?” Carlos asked Virginia as she walked past the pool and onto the path that led to the beach. She was holding a dish of candied yams and he followed her with a turkey.
One that was far too big for just two people. She had been cooking all day. After she found out that her flight had been canceled due to the weather, she’d made him go grocery shopping with her, first asking him all the things his
father had liked to eat—even if they weren’t Thanksgiving related.
She had made him call his mother for her recipe for sopa de mariscos, a tomato-based seafood soup. And they had picked up board games and a deck of cards, any and everything that reminded him of his father.
And now she was leading him out to the beach at sunset, underneath the pretty orange and purple sky. She looked back at him and smiled, not answering his question about where they were going.
“I love turkey, Gin. But I do not want to eat it sitting in the sand.”
“You won’t have to.”
It was then he saw the table sitting on the little pier. As he got closer he saw that it had a white tablecloth and was set beautifully with candles, the rest of the food laid out and waiting for them.
There were few times in his life when he’d had no idea what to say, no way to put into words what he was feeling.
“How did you manage this?” She had been bouncing around the house all day, preparing more of a feast than a meal just for two. He’d stayed with her while she had. She’d told him that he didn’t have to, but he’d stayed to cook with her, peeling apples for the pie and forming biscuits from the dough she had handmade. He had never cooked with a woman before, never had the desire to, but he liked to with her. He sat there and listened while she talked about everything, about nothing, and it made his day better. Made it feel fuller. Made him less sad than he had been every holiday since his father died.
“Can’t tell you all my secrets.” She grinned back at him. “I know this is a long way to go for dinner, but I thought this might be nice.”
It was nice. It was beautiful and more than he expected. It was more than he deserved. She’d gone out of her way for him, even though he had hurt her. She did so much for him and he couldn’t think of one thing he did for her. But there wasn’t anything he could think of doing that could equal this. He wanted to make it up to her. He wanted to do something special, just for her.
“Carve the turkey.” She handed him the knife before she turned away to put food on their plates.
She set one in front of him, piled high with traditional Thanksgiving fare and all his father’s favorites. There were cheese grits and hush puppies right along with his stuffing and honey ham. She had done too much.
He served her some turkey, and when he was done she sat on the side of the table closest to him instead of across from him. They both were quiet. He had been quiet for a few days now. He knew it. But there had been so much going on in his head. So many thoughts since Eli had accused him of loving her.
No, not just loving her. He did love her; there was no doubt about it. But his brother had accused him of being in love, and that was a different story. A deeper, more telling story.
What did it mean to be in love?
His life was at a crossroads. He didn’t know where he was going next or how he was going to get there; he was just taking things one day at a time. And part of him was afraid he wasn’t good enough for her.
Most of his adult relationships had been the opposite. He’d had everything to offer and nothing to gain, but this time it was different. He wasn’t really sure of the man he was anymore. How could he be the man for her?
“I think we should say what we are grateful for.” She reached over and grasped his hand. “It’s what we do in my family every year. I’ll go first.” She shut her eyes.
Damn, she was beautiful. Pretty in pink with her wild hair blowing in the breeze and a serene look on her face.
“I am thankful that I can see and hear and smell and taste and touch. It’s because of those things that I can enjoy life’s small pleasures. I am thankful for this beach and this island and this sunset because it made me want to paint again. And I am thankful for Carlos. Because of him, I have had a new wonderful life experience.”
Her gratitude made him want to smile, but he didn’t. He was too busy thinking about what he should say. He was thankful for her, because she made him get out of bed and enjoy things. Enjoy life. She made him smile and she surprised him. She made him feel happiness. Happiness wasn’t a word he normally had in his vocabulary. Even before he’d lost baseball, even before his father had passed, his life had been good but he had been only content. He had never felt the stirrings of happiness until this beautiful woman with her unconventional ways had changed that for him.
“It’s your turn.”
“Ditto.”
“You can’t say ditto.” She laughed.
“What you said sounded good.”
“Carlos...this is Thanksgiving. Give thanks, silly.”
“Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed her softly. He lifted his head slightly when he was done to find her eyes had gone half closed and her expression was soft and dreamy. “I’m thankful for you. I’m going to miss you when you go tomorrow.” It was selfish. He hadn’t wanted her to leave for Thanksgiving. He wanted to keep her here with him on this little island where the outside world didn’t matter. But he knew he couldn’t do that forever. He knew he couldn’t deprive her of the family she had been missing so much.
“Come with me,” she said.
“What?”
“Come home with me tomorrow.”
He wanted to say no. He didn’t want to meet her parents. He didn’t want to think about her life outside here, but he said, “Okay.” He said it before his brain could catch up to his mouth.
“Okay?” She smiled. “Thank you.”
He didn’t know why she was thanking him. She had just saved him from missing her.
* * *
Snow on Thanksgiving. Virginia was completely unprepared for the blanket of white that covered her parents’ neighborhood. Not because it was still fall and they didn’t normally see the first snow until well into December. But because she had been in Miami for so long and spent last night walking on the beach in a sundress and bare feet. She wasn’t used to cold. She wasn’t used to wearing close-toed shoes. Some days she didn’t wear shoes at all and now she was walking up to her parents’ house hearing the crunch of snow under her feet. She also wasn’t used to walking up to her parents’ house with a man she had brought home for them to meet.
She saw that her father’s car was parked in the driveway, covered with snow. It wasn’t like him to leave it like that. He was usually the first one on the block out with his snowblower, clearing everything, making sure that the outside of their house looked tidy.
“I don’t think I’ve seen snow in almost twenty years,” Carlos said from behind her. He picked some up in his gloved hand and just looked at it, a smile spreading across his face. “It’s the sparkling kind of snow. This is Ava’s favorite kind. She used to say that God had dumped glitter in it.”
Even though she was nervous about him being there, she was glad he was with her. He seemed to find the cold air and winter scenery refreshing. “That’s sweet, but if I never saw snow again I would be perfectly happy.”
“That’s because you’re warm-blooded.” He came behind her then, dropping some snow down the collar of her coat.
She screeched as the cold stuff dripped down her back. He laughed, his dark green eyes twinkling.
Damn, he was sexy.
“Oh, you think you’re going to get away with that?” She grabbed a handful of snow and tossed it right in his face.
“Oh, you’re playing dirty?” He took a few steps back, quickly made a snowball, wound up and threw it at her, hitting her smack dab in the middle of her chest.
She launched herself at him, knocking him backward into the snow. She should have known better than to start a snowball fight with a professional baseball player.
But he was laughing when she looked into his face. It was as if the cloud of sadness that was around him had finally completely lifted. All it had taken was eight inches of snow.
“
Virginia?” She heard her mother’s voice and scrambled off Carlos.
Her mother stood in the doorway, looking sophisticatedly relaxed in a cashmere twinset and her grandmother’s diamond studs. Her father was just behind her, looking dashing with his silver hair. They were such a stark contrast to her, and she immediately felt as though she should have worn more somber colors and tied back her hair.
“Hi!” she said, her voice unnaturally high. She looked back at Carlos, who had gotten up as gracefully as a professional athlete should. “We finally made it!” She walked over to her parents and gave them each a hug.
“We?” her mother said in that voice she always used when Virginia did something unbecoming.
“Is that shortstop for the Miami Hammerheads, Carlos Bradley?” her father asked.
“Yes.” She glanced back at Carlos who hovered behind her. “Mommy told you I was working for him, right?”
“Yes, sweetheart, but we almost didn’t believe it.”
She had opened her mouth to retort, but Carlos extended his hand to her father. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir. Thank you for having me in your home.”
“The pleasure is mine, son.” Her father’s face bloomed into a smile. “You are one of the most phenomenal players in the game.”
“I’ve been out an entire season. I’m not sure about that.”
“You’ll go back and be phenomenal again. Please come in.” Carlos followed her father inside, but Virginia’s mother stayed where she was.
“We?” she asked again.
“I told you yesterday that I was going to bring my friend,” Virginia said, trying to skirt the subject as she attempted to glide past her mother and into the house.
But her mother wasn’t allowing that. She gripped Virginia’s arms and gave her the look that she gave to unruly college freshmen after spring fling. “When you said a friend, I was imagining a girl around your age with similar interests. Not the man you’re working for.”
“I don’t just work for him, Mother,” she hissed so that the men wouldn’t hear her. “He’s my friend and his family is scattered all over the place for the holidays. I thought it would be nice for him to spend time with the sweet, loving family we are going to pretend to be for the next few days.”
