by Alice Shaw
People like me didn’t have much of that. Sometimes, it happened. Those are the times I remember most.
Well, all good things come to an end. When my parents gave me the boot, I looked for the one person who would back me up: my grandma. She couldn’t be there for me.
She wasn’t there to protect me anymore. She passed away six months ago. I was on my own. I had to learn to be stronger on the inside.
My parents never planned to have an omega, and when I finally told them I wouldn’t be their project alpha, they all but opened the front door. I guess I was a freak, but that’s all I wanted to be after that.
“You have to keep fighting,” he said. “Never give up hope.”
I looked at him curiously. He was older, at least six feet tall, and completely sure of what he just said. He didn’t know what I had gone through, but it felt like he already understood. I looked at him and suddenly wished I could be like him. Strong.
“That’s a bold thing to say. You don’t know what I’m going through,” I said, a bit confused.
“You’re right. I don’t,” he said. His eyes stared into my soul. Sure, he didn’t know the details, but he could sense the pain. He could be there for me. At least, at that very moment he could.
I wasn’t sure if I should smile or back away from him. Everything was so different here. From the ranch to the bay. It felt weird. “Who are you? Why are you giving me this advice?” I asked him.
His jeans were bound tightly to his legs. His black belt buckle was centered. Two big bullhorns poked out from the sides, like the Texas logo. Only, this wasn’t Texas. Far from it.
Both hands gripped tightly around it. He was tough, not one of those “sissies” back home. Not like me. Somehow, that’s what comforted me the most.
My eyes darted back and forth, from the police vehicle back to him. “I’m on the upward too,” he admitted. But he didn’t look like it. He looked calm and secure. He was doing better than me.
“I’m trying to be a better person for people. I shouldn’t assume things of people, though. I’m just trying to help.” He looked embarrassed. I could tell he was wondering why he even mentioned it.
That’s when I noticed the pain in his eyes. Behind that hazy gleam was a reflection of myself. “Don’t leave,” I wanted to say. “Stay here. Help me.”
But those were words I couldn’t say. I had to go through with this alone.
“I’m Riley,” he said, putting his hand out. His biceps pressed against the enclosing of his shirt. I tried to avoid the impossibility of looking for too long, but a part of me didn’t care about getting caught anymore.
“Holden,” I said. “And you live here?”
“Well…” His voice trailed off, and his attention turned toward the horizon. Not too far off there were some idle spots. I remembered passing them earlier.
I got the sense that he lived somewhere around there, or maybe he didn’t have much of a home at all. Maybe he was just like me. On the run. Nowhere to run.
“I get around. I guess I’m kind of everywhere these days,” Riley said.
My eyes lit up in hopes that I might have met a version of myself. “You’re a drifter too?” I asked, trying not to grin too obviously. It didn’t work because he winced at the word, causing me to immediately regret speaking.
“No. I’m a chef,” Riley said. He didn’t look like a chef. In fact, he looked more like a hot dad you could meet at the end of the midtown bar.
“I’m on the road. I’m working in my food truck,” he said.
I felt my stomach rumble. A kebab sounded pretty good at that moment. “Food truck? Is it any good?”
“Yeah. This is my last year of using it. I’m getting a loan soon. Starting a restaurant by the bay,” Riley said. Suddenly, his mood changed. He looked detached.
I didn’t know what to say to the man. I didn’t know anything about nice restaurants. I had never received a loan in my life. I wasn’t that lucky of a person. I was just glad to be talking to someone.
“Well, that’s cool,” I found myself saying. I hoped it was an appropriate response, but he didn’t flinch or give away any emotion. He was as hardened as a cement statue.
“It’s something.” Finally, he grinned. A short wink sent ripples of pleasure up my spine. “Anyway, I have to head back to the truck. I’m glad you’re okay. Do you need to find a motel? There’s a few nearby…” His voice trailed off. His front teeth dragged across his upper lip.
“Okay,” I said. Sure. I’ll just find a motel, with no money left in my pocket.
The cop, who had been lingering in his car behind us, turned on his lights. He blared the siren. “I’ll write you both a ticket if you don’t head out,” he said, leaning out of his window.
Riley’s fist twitched in his pocket. He turned around and walked toward the police vehicle. “He’s just getting back on his feet. Let him leave, Brady,” Riley said, still somehow able to remain unruffled by the siren.
“He’s got one minute,” officer Brady said.
Riley clasped his hands against the edge of the cop’s window. My heart started to beat with erratic fear. “What the hell is he doing?” I whispered to myself.
“Calm down, Brady,” Riley muttered. “I know you’re in charge here, but you’ve been out here in this parking lots, harassing every one in sight for weeks.”
The cop flinched, but he quickly laughed to cover up his embarrassment. “It’s my job to patrol the area, Riley. Now, I suggest you get your ass moving or I’ll—”
Riley’s chest collided with the car. “You do one thing to me and I’ll lay your ass onto the concrete. And I’ll go ahead assume that you don’t want me telling your wife what you’ve been doing down here every weekend,” Riley said.
The officer, defeated by a civilian, started the car engine. “Watch yourself, Riley,” he muttered before speeding off.
I was speechless. Despite still holding the one-hundred-and-fifty dollar ticket in my hand, the sheer thrill of this nearly erased my pain. Nearly.
I ran toward him. I put my fist up. “Thank you!” I squealed.
“I’ve known that asshole for a long time. Grew up in the same city, about thirty miles from here. He’s always been a douche,” Riley said, mouth curling up and to the left. “Anyway, I have to sell some food. I’ll see you around?”
I nodded. Though, I wasn’t sure how long I’d be staying around. “Yeah. I’ll see you,” I said, acting cool.
I watched him walk into the distance, sun blaring down on the back of his shirt. I had to figure out my next move, but I didn’t want to leave. Hell, maybe I’d check out the strip by the bay.
I mean, why not? It’s not like I had anything better to do. Perhaps I’d find a motel parking lot. Or, better yet, maybe I’d find his food truck. Maybe, I’d get a taste of his meat.
Chapter Two
Riley
Why did I lie to the Holden kid? It’s not like I’d ever see him again. He was just another traveler in need. There were too many of those around here. They all understand a certain level of hardship. I keep acting like I’m different from that, but I’m not. So why the hell did I tell Holden that I was on my way to starting a restaurant?
Everyone knew what kind of a guy I was. Most people could take one look at me and knew I was more trouble than I was worth. Holden was a different story.
My food truck could paint the full picture very well. Well, shit. I guess you could barely call it a food truck. It was a piece of junk, and the engine died on me a week ago.
I walked back to my area, and there was one man waiting next to the covered windows. Jared. Back for more. I assumed he did it for the moral support. “Back for more, Jared?”
Jared was an unshaven, portly man with a wild twist to his lips. His hair was long, but not stringy. Not curly either. The strands, however, wrapped round his ears. It was obvious he had seen some shit, and some of his stories hinted at prior addictions.
His beard looked like it had seen so
me things on the road. But he was trustworthy. He was the friend you find after a fire or great tragedy.
Of course, his own story was heartrending, so he gave up wandering years ago and found a life here, near the city. He found a woman and never looked back.
“You know I can’t get enough of those pancakes,” Jared said, slapping the side of my truck.
I laughed, but my mind was far away. I kept thinking about that guy I had met in the parking lot. He was stuck in the bay. Stuck. It was starting to annoy the hell out of me.
I wasn’t used to feeling empathy for strangers, but he had this special glimmer in his eyes. He was pure at heart. There isn’t many out there like that. So why’d I leave him stranded? The question kept repeating in the back of my mind. There was no answer. I was just plain stupid.
“Two of the Riley Special,” I said. “Coming right up.”
“Better make it three, pal. I haven’t eaten in days.” Jared was a nice guy. I knew he didn’t care for the pancakes, but he kept coming back for more. The world needed more people like him.
As I poured the batter onto the platter, I let my emotions betray me. Jared eyed me intently. He seemed to understand that I had to get something off of my chest. “There’s another drifter that I met today,” I said.
“So? This area is full of them,” Jared responded.
“Yeah, but this one was unlike the rest,” I said. “There was something different about him. He didn’t look like he was used to the road. Looked like some kid from the outskirts. I don’t know. Never mind.”
I didn’t say anymore. I knew Jared, but I didn’t need my friends to know that I was crushing on a guy I met for like ten seconds. Plus, Jared wasn’t an alpha, nor was he an omega. He was a straight as an arrow beta. I knew what he’d say. “Avoid it. He’s a random cruiser.”
Of course, there was no denying I was attracted to Holden. He had round, soft features with a slim irregularity that pulled you directly in. He wasn’t perfectly bodied. He had imperfections. But when saw him, I wanted to dive right in.
When I first saw him, I cradled his cheeks with my sight. I longed to kiss him and tell him I’d help him get through his issue. I’ve never been pulled in like that before, and it scared the shit out of me.
Jared looked at me and laughed. “You’re too trusting. If I were you, I’d avoid people like that. You’re just asking for trouble,” he said.
I flipped the pancake and forced a smile. I nodded and pretended that what he said had made sense. In a way, it did. But I sure as hell didn’t want it to.
“You’d turn someone away if they needed a place to crash?” I asked.
I dropped a slew of bacon onto a separate pan. The sizzling sound filled the truck, and soon, the smell of delicious bacon wafted into our nostrils. “Depends, I guess,” Jared said. “He look rich to you?”
Jared let out a sharp laugh, expecting me to understand the joke. Only, I didn’t. I wasn’t thinking about money. I was thinking about his ass in those old jeans. That sight was worth so much more to me than a quick buck.
“I’m serious, Jared. You’d let someone in need suffer?” I asked.
I could tell that I was going too far, but I had to ask these questions out loud. I thought to myself, “After I’m done with Jared’s breakfast, I’m going back there. I’ll find him. I’ll be a gentleman and let him crash on my couch, no problem. No, I’ll give him my bed instead. He deserves a nice night.”
“See, now you’re putting words in my mouth. I’m not going to let anyone suffer, but I’ve got my own problems to deal with,” Jared said. “Forget about the kid. He’ll find his way. Most do. Remember you? Hardened criminal to a mediocre chef.”
“Stop it, Jared,” I muttered.
“Okay, I’m sorry. But I’m telling you. It’ll be easy for him. He’ll find his way within a day,” Jared said.
In my heart, I knew that wasn’t true. “Vagrants” like Holden had to work ten times harder than the average person. But the conversation had gone too far, so I squashed it.
“Order up,” I said, flipping the pancake onto the paper plate. I dropped the pieces of burnt bacon onto the side and handed Jared his food.
Jared closed his eyes, smiling pleasantly to himself. “Ahh, thank you, man. You’re the best,” he said. He sat down at a table nearby and waved. The whole area was empty.
“Anytime, Jared. You’re my number one customer,” I said.
“You’ll get more buyers. Just hang in there,” he called out. “In any case, you know I’ll keep coming back for the breakfast.”
“I appreciate that. Honestly, I do,” I said. “But you have to try the lunch sometime. It’s really that much better.”
Jared shrugged. “I’m more of a breakfast guy.” He winked. I laughed and sat down behind the register, thinking to myself.
In the heat of the moment, I turned off the burners. I closed the windows to the food truck and groaned quietly. I was going to find Holden and help the guy out. If I didn’t, it would weigh on my conscience all week.
Before Jared could notice, I was already on the way back to that parking lot. As I walked, I gazed at the bay. The cool summer breeze washed around my body as the mist from the water hung in the center. The seagulls squawked loudly as I walked by.
This place had a lot of troubles, but it certainly was surrounded by beauty. In some ways, it was better than the old, single-room adobe I used to own. It was better than shoveling shit and checking on the harvest yield.
I kept walking and enjoying the scenery. Most of the time, I was alone. That was the hardest part of living in Belleview Bay. With no one to talk to, you find a certain level of peace. But when you’re an alpha with a set of high goals, that peace turns into a burden. You isolate yourself. You fall in to the current and sink too deep.
All of my life, I wanted to be normal. I wanted to own something, have a family, and be able to feel tall. I made a dream of building up this food truck when the guard told me to dig deep into what I enjoyed. So far, it’s the only thing that has kept me on a good path.
I didn’t grow up with much, and neither did my parents. Life for me wasn’t a piece of cake. Instead, it was hard and taxing on the soul. I didn’t have the same luxuries as a lot of those around me. No college. No structure. All I had was my willpower. Sometimes, I didn’t even have that.
My feet carried me toward the parking lot, but I wasn’t looking carefully enough. I was so lost in inside my head that I didn’t see the thin, soft body of Holden standing right in front of me. When I finally realized how close he was, it was too late. I ran into his chest. Our ankles locked and both of our bodies fell to the dirt.
Dust littered the air around us. “Shit!” I muttered.
I blinked my eyes three times, and Holden groaned. “Are you okay?” I asked him.
I was leaning against his warm body, hands clutching onto his chest for support.
Holden blushed. His eyes darted away from mine. “Um, yeah. I’m fine.” His eyes gazed back at my belt buckle, and I began to feel my cheeks turn a different temperature.
“Sorry,” I said, jumping to my feet. I held out my hand for him, but he chose to lift himself off the ground without my help.
Holden smiled innocently. I couldn’t stop gazing into his eyes and glancing down at his pink lips. I was drawn to him in such a strong way, but I still couldn’t figure out why.
“Don’t worry about it,” Holden said. Then, with a curious grin on his face, “Are you stalking me now?”
I laughed and combed my hair back. Was I stalking him? Maybe, a little bit. “I was just thinking…” I said. “You know, about what I said before I left…”
Holden held his forgiving hand in front of him. “No worries. I think there’s a decent motel across the way here,” he said, finger limply pointing.
“Oh, right.” The old Junction Motel. I had slept in that place more than enough times to get my fill. I turned around and squinted. The sign could barely be seen, but its
rusted and worn down look remained in my mind. “You don’t want to sleep there. It’s dangerous at night.”
“Have you seen my truck? Been sleeping in there for weeks now. I think I can handle one shitty motel room, but thanks,” Holden said, defensively.
Once again, I hit one of his buttons without meaning to. It was starting to become a reoccurring pattern between us. Holden proceeded to walk away. He cycled past me, but without the speed I expected.
So I stopped him. “Wait,” I said, grabbing the edge of his fingers. Holden gripped and let go, moving backward. There was a sudden fear in his eyes.
“What is he running from?” I wondered. Bad home, maybe. Abusive ex-boyfriend, possibly. Or maybe he had been turning tricks for money. I had heard of guys doing that on the other side of the bay, but he looked too innocent to be hustling.
“What exactly do you want from me?” Holden asked. His hands slid inside his front pockets. His legs were tapping anxiously against the dirt. He wanted to leave.
“I wanted to help you,” I said.
Holden couldn’t make up his mind. I could see the distrust in his eyes, but he wasn’t moving. I couldn’t be sure, but I definitely didn’t want to push anything. I knew when to back off, so I turned around.
“Why does everyone think I need help?” Holden asked. There was a deep pain within him. His chest pumped with adrenaline. Something inside of me pushed me back toward him, and I took his hand.
“Stop worrying,” I whispered. “I’m a friend, okay? You’re safe here. If you don’t need my help, that’s fine. I’ll back off. I just came back to let you know that—”
“I don’t have any friends,” Holden said, glancing at his footprints. Tears were shaking open his eyelids. I could tell that he was holding back how he really felt.
“I don’t have a family. I don’t have anyone. And that’s just the way it is,” he said.
