by Alice Ivinya
“Because, Jian, she is going to be your wife. You will be wed to her for the rest of your life.”
“Which may not be very long. I don’t want to get her hopes up only to dash them.”
“Jian! I’ll have none of that nonsense from you. You need to put the poor girl at ease.”
“Why? I’ll barely be here anyway. She might as well spend time with you and Father and the Stonekeep ladies. She’s a Syberan, she’ll enjoy the softness of the castle. She’s not part of my world.”
I heard the Queen’s heavy sigh. “Can you at least try to court her? Speak to her? She’s come a long way from home to get to know you.”
“I both spoke and danced with her tonight.”
“You know what I mean.” Her voice softened. “She is going to bear your children, Jian. You should treat her with honor.”
“I mean her no dishonor, Mother. It’s just… I’m worried about my men. Tama’ha is restless. All the Spirit-Beasts are. I’m sure something is changing beyond the passes, and I don’t know what that will mean for us. They may renew their attacks or try more dangerous tactics. Nameless, or worse.”
“It’s two months, Jian. Two months to ensure we maintain the finances we need to do whatever is necessary to repel them. You have used up generations of savings. This is the easiest way for your plans to become sustainable, especially your next proposed improvements to the Western Fort.”
“I know, but in two weeks I must return. Just for a few days. Yes, I know your objections, but I need to keep their spirits up and hear the reports.”
I moved away from the door, my spirit even heavier than before. He really couldn’t care less about me. Worse, I was in the way of his work at the Border. It was easier to be cruel to somebody who was an inconvenience. He had his gold and his trade with Sybera and didn’t feel I could offer him anything else.
At least I now understood how he viewed things. I stood, trying to see the positives. Maybe if he wanted next to nothing to do with me, I would have what I had always wanted: freedom. For the time he was at the Border at least. Maybe being separate would be better than playing wife in a loveless marriage all the time. Especially if he was indeed violent.
But I was still too vulnerable, too disposable, and I couldn’t shake the sting of abandonment. I felt ugly and broken, just like Elyanna always said. I wandered down the hallway haphazardly. I didn’t care which direction I was heading anymore. After a few turns, I collected myself and turned to Jeremiah. He had always been loyal and friendly, and he had seemed the one person on my side apart from Falada. I had to make the best of what I’d been given. And to be fair, Elyanna was probably worse than Jian. I should see my situation as an improvement at least.
I forced my voice into an amicable mould. I needed Jeremiah to become my friend. “Thank you for accompanying me and guarding me so well. It can’t be easy for you either, being so far from home.”
Jeremiah gave a sharp nod. “Honestly, Highness? It’s my honor. I never thought I would be given such a prestigious job. We’ll settle in soon enough, and all this will become familiar.”
I wrapped my cloak tighter around my shoulders. “I’m not sure I want freezing dark corridors to be familiar. Imagine what they are like in winter.”
Jeremiah grinned. “I always loved snow. Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy a ride at dawn through unblemished white?”
I gave him a long sideways look, weighing him. “Who are your parents, Jeremiah?”
He straightened a little. “My father was Sir Ghert, killed in the Battle of Sedgehaven. He was one of the men Sybera sent to Dreyha to answer their call for aid when Kilamore invaded. My job now feels similar to what he was doing, just in a different way. Both of us are spending our lives protecting Sybera from Kilamore by helping the nations that cushion our borders. That is why I have so much respect for you, Your Highness. Sybera will be safe because now the Borderlands will always answer our call for aid, should Kilamore invade.”
I nodded, but felt uncomfortable with his open faith. “And your mother?”
“Lady Sophia. She died giving birth to my sister. Tattia lives in Hava with our grandparents. My two elder brothers run the estate.”
The sister in Hava must be reassuring for Queen Geraldina and Elyanna. If Jeremiah threatened to reveal my identity, they had an easy hostage. Though he would have to figure it out first, and he seemed far too trusting to be suspicious about me. I could see why the Queen had chosen him to be the one that stayed with me.
After a myriad of twists and turns, we made it to the courtyard. The frigid air of deep night clung to any exposed skin with icy hooks, but the vast expanse of the night sky was beautiful and tranquil. Far more stars than I had ever seen in Hava sparkled on the inky black, mirroring the frost on the cobblestones that glittered with moonlight. For the first time in Stonekeep, I felt peaceful.
Jeremiah led the way to the stables, and I felt guilty that he had already been there to check on his own mare, while I had waited this long to check on Falada. The stable door was bolted shut and the metal was webbed with ice. I was grateful when Jeremiah managed to force it open with his gloved hands. The sound echoed around the deserted walls.
Inside, the stables were lit by a single lantern. There was no fire, but the horses and prized cows radiated their own warmth and were bedded in deep straw. I found Falada’s stable and unhooked the rope fastening the cubicle. He wasn’t asleep but was pulling some hay from his hay net. A thick blanket covered his back and stopped at his shoulders. The swivel of his ear showed he’d heard my approach, but he didn’t turn. He was in a bad mood with me. My heart sank further.
“Falada?” I touched his thigh and he stomped his hoof in response, though the effect was lessened by the thick straw. “How do you like your new stall?”
He didn’t reply, so I studied it for myself. The straw was deep and his water was clear. It was only a little smaller than his one in Hava, though it lacked the carvings and gold leaf around the borders. There was an empty trough that still smelt herby and sweet from a recent meal.
I patted Falada again. When he continued to ignore me, I fetched a curry comb and started to rub his neck in gentle circles. He shifted his weight towards me. “I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, Falada. I was exhausted yesterday and then today I had to prepare for a horrible banquet they threw in my honor. I’ve met Prince Jian and he couldn’t care less about me. He spoke to me as little as possible and I had to ask him to dance. He was the first one to leave tonight out of all the guests. I overheard him saying to the Queen that he just wanted to be back at the Border Forts, and I was merely a necessary inconvenience. All he wants me for is Syberan coin. He is not going to look out for me. I don’t know what to do.” My throat tightened and I held my breath for the count of ten. I was not going to cry.
Falada’s ears were both facing me, and his jaw chewed methodically. I breathed in the comforting scent of him and felt my fear melt away. I patted the horse blanket. “Do you want a warmer rug?”
‘The stable hand didn’t give me oats today. Only yesterday. I snorted meaningfully at him and he laughed at me. Said it would be bad for my health if he fed me treats while I’d had no exercise. Went on about laminitis as if I were some common pony. How am I to put up with this cold if I run out of energy? All my fat will burn away.’
I suppressed a smile and went to dig in the barrels for some oats. In the tack room I found a horse rug that was lined with thick fleece. I swapped it with the one he was wearing and tied the fastenings.
‘It was a very boring day today. They didn’t turn any of the horses out.’
“I’ll talk to the stable hand tomorrow, I promise.”
He snorted in response and used his thick lips to scoop up the oats as quickly as possible.
I giggled at him. “You’re such a grumpy old man.” I started to brush and braid his mane, knowing he would forgive me soon. “Now I know Jian is going to take no interest in me at all, I’ll leave him to his se
lf-important life and busy myself with other things. I need to find something valuable to do so I can earn my place here. Queen Fei seems nice and glad to have me, so hopefully I can impress her. Jian said he won’t even be here most of the time, but at the Border. Maybe I can find joy in other places.”
Falada turned his head to study me. Finally, he nuzzled my arm. ‘You’re giving up?’
I frowned. “Giving up on what? Jian will never be interested in me, and, as far as I know, that might be a good thing. I’ll preserve my dignity by keeping my distance.” I stood taller as if with pride, but the fear and sense of worthlessness weighed down my chest. The worry of how he would treat me during our times alone together if he didn’t like me dug cold figures into my stomach. I had nothing in my favor.
Falada blinked slowly and swished his tail, though I could see no flies. ‘Brianna. You have known him for one day and have judged him very harshly for one who cannot see souls. I thought you wanted a happy marriage? You often spoke about how your marriage would be your escape back in Hava.’
I frowned and tied off the plait. “I did. I expected to marry somebody I fell in love with back in Gilava. That’s why I’m so upset Elyanna has made me come here and marry this icy, self-important… dismissive...” I fumbled for the right word and grunted instead. I didn’t want Falada to see my fear and anger was an easy mask.
‘But he is still going to be your husband? Just because you can’t choose who to marry, doesn’t mean you can’t fight for happiness. Don’t choose to be miserable to justify making your anger towards Elyanna burn brighter. You don’t know him yet. Maybe you could learn to love each other if only you tried? Don’t lose that chance.’
I gaped at him. “But I have nothing to win him over with. And no idea if he is a person I even want to be close to. He is the one who won’t have anything to do with me. What do you expect me to do? I have little to recommend me.”
He snorted again and bucked his head. ‘Calm yourself, child. Don’t fear the worst. Waive your verdict and try to get to know him. Choose to fight for the marriage you want. If you give up now, it will be impossible. If he is as horrible and violent as you say, once you confirm this, stay away from him.’
I snorted. “You don’t understand human marriages. You can’t choose to fall in love. And you haven’t met him. He’s horrible. I’m not even sure he has friends.”
He turned a bright eye to me. ‘You said you’d barely spoken to him.’
I put the curry comb back on the shelf and dropped my forehead into Falada’s side. I did want him to like me. If I pleased him, he would treat me better, and I would have leverage in our relationship. “Fine, I’ll try to get to know him better, but I suspect it will just make everything worse when he rejects me again and again and again.”
Falada pushed me roughly with his head. ‘Remember who you are, Brianna, and don’t let Elyanna’s mask change you.’
I hesitated, trying to work out his meaning. The last person I wanted to become was Elyanna. Falada chewed the end of my braid to soften his words, and I pulled it free before it became too wet with green slobber.
Jeremiah stumbled to a halt outside the stall, making far more noise than necessary on the floorboards. “Princess? There are men looking for you.”
My stomach tightened in the same guilty way it had as a child when our governess caught me stealing honey cakes from the kitchen for Elyanna. I shoved the emotion down. I hadn’t done anything wrong in coming to see Falada at this hour.
I gave him one last pat on the neck and tied my cloak tighter to brace for the cold. Outside I could hear men’s voices and the sharp crack of heeled boots on frozen stone. The sound of geese honking rose from the barn built against the rear of the stables as they reacted to the commotion. I hoped this incident hadn’t woken the entire town.
Jeremiah opened the stable door, and I stood in the pool of yellow light made by the torches of the men. “I’m here. What is wrong?”
Ruo wore a worried expression and hurried over to me. Her long grey hair fell unbound to her waist and her skin was pale with cold. The other men looked like soldiers with Prince Jian at their head. I met his eyes and thought I caught a glimmer of fear before cold annoyance twisted his lips. For once his uniform was not immaculate. His shirt was undone at the neck, revealing his collarbones and the breadth of his shoulders, with a fur coat thrown hastily over the top. I turned to Ruo before my face could consider blushing. “Really, I am fine. What has happened?”
She attempted a smile and rested a hand on my arm. “The night is cold and so I went to your rooms to restock the fires while you slept. But I found you and Jeremiah gone. I couldn’t find you anywhere, so I alerted the guard, and they alerted Prince Jian. Forgive the commotion, Highness, but you shouldn’t be wandering alone outside in the dark.”
I took a step forward. “What are you talking about? I’ve not left the castle and I’m not alone. I have been with Jeremiah and Falada.”
“Your Syberan boy doesn’t count.” Jian’s voice was clipped with suppressed anger. “And I doubt your horse could defend you.”
I took a step forward, angry now for both myself and Jeremiah at such a slight. My fear grew that he was so willing to humiliate us publicly. “Jeremiah is the head of my guard, and if you haven’t noticed, you have provided me with none other. Falada is a Spirit-Horse.”
The Prince scoffed. “His Old Blood is dilute. He wouldn’t stand a chance by himself.”
I stepped right up to him and raised my eyebrows, exasperated. “A chance against what? Explain this to me. What are you afraid of within your own castle?”
His brows lowered. “Borderlanders do not go out alone at night. That is how we live. You’re not in Sybera anymore. You’ll have a proper guard assembled in the morning.” He spun on his heel and strode back into the castle.
I gaped after him. I hoped Falada had heard the slight and realized what an insufferable man he was. I clenched my fists into my skirts.
Ruo prized my arm away from my side and hooked her own through it. “Come now, my dear. It is long past the time we should be in bed. What possessed you to visit your horse on such a cold night?”
I let her pull me back into the dark corridors and the men dispersed. I didn’t meet any of their eyes, still embarrassed at being publicly chastised by my betrothed and that they had all been disturbed at such an hour for my sake. If I needed to get him to like me, I was doing a poor job indeed.
“Ruo, what is going on? Why does nobody go out alone in the dark? Surely your courtyard is safe.”
The middle-aged woman sighed and patted my arm where it was linked with hers. “The Borderlanders have many traditions that have been handed down over the years. They are very important to us and are adhered to because they keep people safe and save lives. Yes, you were most likely safe tonight.” She hesitated for a moment as if choosing her words carefully. “But there might be a night where you wouldn’t be safe alone out there. Our people have a dark and bloody past. We do all we can not to welcome trouble.”
I swallowed but kept my voice light. “So all that panic was because I broke one of your traditions?”
She chuckled softly. “In truth, I feared you had fled. The night is cold and the land around here is harsh. I was worried for you.”
I covered her hand with mine. “I’m not going anywhere, Ruo. I understand this is my home now.”
She smiled and ushered me into my room where she piled the fire with logs. “Don’t be too harsh on Prince Jian for his words tonight. He has lost friends and people close to him to the darkness up at the Border. The world he is used to is a dangerous one.”
I climbed into bed and warmed my feet on the bed warming pan which was thankfully still hot. My eyes flickered to my sword which I had dutifully hung on the hooks in the wall. Maybe everyone would calm down if I started carrying it around with me. I remembered the flicker of fear in Jian’s eyes before it had been replaced by annoyance. Yes, it was probably best if I ke
pt it close.
4
Voices on the Wind
Ruo woke me up far too early by dragging open the heavy curtains with a flourish. “Up, up, my dear. The King and Queen are going out to ride this morning and have invited you to join them.”
I stared at the bare stone ceiling and kept the covers pulled up to my chin against the chilly air. It was strange the beds here had no canopies. Maybe it was another one of their excessive traditions, so nobody could be concealed by them. “Will he be there,” I muttered.
She snorted as she threw a riding habit onto my bed. “He will if the Queen has anything to do with it. Especially when you confirm you are going. She’ll drag him out by his ears if she has to.”
I laughed at the image and blinked my grainy eyes. I shouldn’t have gone to bed so late. I wished I could sleep in, but Falada was right. I should at least try to get to know him and understand why he was so unfriendly, even if it merely confirmed my opinion.
I let Ruo choose all of my outfit, the leather dyed dark blues and reds to contrast with my pale skin and hair, and a fur hat to keep the cold at bay. I actually preferred the simple, practical cuts of the Borderlands over the fussiness of Hava. The clothes had an almost military smartness to them, which I found strange considering how most of the time the sharp lines were covered in furs.
Jeremiah bade his leave as I left the room. His eyes were shadowed and his skin pale. I reminded myself to ensure Jian provided me with an adequate guard so Jeremiah could rest. He might be naive, but I couldn’t question his loyalty.
The party was assembling in the courtyard, the ring of hooves on stone, the excited yaps of dogs, and the snorts of horses forcing people to raise their voices to talk.
