by Nic Saint
“I—I’ve changed my ways, Inspector.”
“Detective! I don’t believe you. Guys like you don’t change their ways.”
“Oh, but Ronny has indeed changed his ways,” the old crone now piped up. “In fact, he’s become quite a dear friend of mine, isn’t that right, Ronny?”
“I’m honored to call Cassandra my friend,” Ronny said, a little flustered.
“Ugh,” Sam repeated and strode from the house. There were three things that sickened him to the core: puppies, teary reunions, and remorseful crooks. So he beckoned his partner. “Let’s go, Pierre. I’m so done with this place.”
“What about the evidence, Sam?” Pierre asked, hurrying up.
“Bring it along. We’ll file it under the G of Gigantic Waste of Time,” he grumbled and walked out after a final frosty glance at Ernestine. She returned his glance and added some frostiness of her own. Shaking his head he walked down the stone steps. “Last time I ever set foot in that house,” he grumbled. “Place gives me the creeps.” And he didn’t know whether it was the house or the inhabitants, but when he looked up, he distinctly felt a chill settle in his bones. And, like his nose, Sam’s bones were rarely wrong.
Chapter 13
Edelie got the call shortly after three. Gran was fine, Estrella said. She’d fallen and hit her head, but she was fine. A very nice young man had been there to help her. He’d taken her to the hospital and then brought her home.
“And did you ask her about Joshua and Tavish?” she asked.
There was a pause, then Estrella admitted, “We haven’t had a chance to ask her yet. She’s… she’s still feeling a little under the weather, and we don’t want to bother her with anything that might upset her.”
“Of course,” Edelie muttered, then sagged a little. Her shift was almost over, but all through the afternoon she’d done nothing but worry about what Tavish Mildew had told them. “So when will you talk to her?” she now asked, chewing her fingernails. It was a habit she’d been trying to break for years.
“I don’t know. Let’s wait until she’s feeling a little better, shall we?”
“And what about this Ronny guy? Who is he?”
“I don’t know,” Estrella admitted. “Gran said they met a little while ago, and he just happened to be at the house when she took that nasty tumble.”
“Mh.”
“Mh what?”
“Sounds like a very unlikely story,” she said. Most of Gran’s friends were middle-aged ladies just like herself. She didn’t think there was any young man amongst her circle of friends, and now on the day she entertained this young man at her house she took this bad fall? So she repeated, “Mh.”
“Enough with the mh-ing already,” Estrella said with a laugh. “We should be thankful he was there. She could have been lying there for hours.”
“What kind of person is he?”
“Well…” Estrella hesitated. “He seems… nice. A little… scruffy?”
Edelie snorted. It was just like Estrella to judge a person by their appearance. “I’m going to be another hour, and then I’m coming home,” she said. She wanted to take a good look at this Ronny guy herself.
“Oh, he left already,” said Estrella. “In fact, he seemed quite happy to go.”
“Mh,” Edelie repeated.
“Oh, stop it, Edie. He’s perfectly all right. Otherwise Gran would never have said he was her dear, dear, dear friend.”
Edelie could hear the eye roll. “She said that, did she?”
“More than once, so stop worrying. Tomorrow, when she’s rested and has her strength back, we’ll sit down with her, and discuss this Joshua thing.”
After she hung up, Edelie found that the minutes ticked by so slowly she figured someone must have messed with the clock. Finally, when she simply couldn’t take it anymore, she briefly considered making time go a little faster. Trouble was, she didn’t know the spell to do that, so she decided not to even go there. She’d done enough damage for one day, and magic wasn’t going to help her cope with her tedious job any more than it had this morning.
Finally Ginger flipped around the closed sign, locked the door, and Edelie started cleaning up, readying the place for another day. Half an hour later, she waved goodbye to her boss and was on her way back to the subway station. She passed Julius again, but if the old man recognized her, he didn’t give any indication. Even after she asked him if the name Tavish Mildew sounded familiar, he shook his head. “Uh-uh.”
“Or Joshua?”
“Uh-uh,” he repeated, then tapped his sign. “Grateful for all!” he caroled happily, and she gave him a smile and dropped a dollar note into his hands.
“God bless!” he said. “May you have a wonderful and magical night!”
She held up her hand as she descended the stairs. “I hope not!” she yelled back. As eventful as her day had been, she hoped that her evening would be a lot less so. She’d had just about all the excitement she could muster.
Chapter 14
Estrella lay belly down on her bed, watching a rerun of Keeping up with the Kardashians. She didn’t remember this particular episode and was always happy to catch some new little tidbit about her favorite family. In her humble opinion, Kim should become the next American president. She was sure she would turn that stuffy old White House into something hip and cool, and wouldn’t her selfies from the Oval Office rock the nation? And what about Kanye as First Husband? Now that would be something really novel. And Kris could be Vice President, and the girls could all be Cabinet members!
She giggled and reached into her bucket of popcorn again.
Because Gran wasn’t fully recovered yet and was now resting in her room, the girls had to make do, dinner-wise. So they’d ordered pizza, and for dessert Estrella had brought out her favorite acquisition: the popcorn maker.
Her door flew open, and a harried-looking Edelie dragged herself in, her face a dark mask of worry as usual. “Have you seen my tape recorder, Strel?”
Without looking up, Estrella asked, “What is a tape recorder?”
“It’s that thing Gran gave me last week, remember? She found it at a thrift shop.” She stared at her feet. “You, um, record stuff, and play it back.”
“So why don’t you just use an app?” she asked, wondering why Edelie kept bothering with that old crap.
“I like the tape recorder,” Edelie said stubbornly. “It has class and elegance and an ageless beauty…” She sighed. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Yeah, well, if you want to go all eighties on me, be my guest. Personally? I prefer to stay ahead of the times, not lag behind three decades.”
Edelie smoldered a little, then seemed to drop her craving for decrepit old technology and plunked down on the bed. “How did Gran seem to you?”
“Fine, I guess. Just a little bump on the head. Nothing to worry about.”
“Didn’t she seem…” She hesitated. “… a little weird?”
Estrella frowned. This was her favorite part of the show, where Kim modeled her latest outfit. “Huh?” she asked. “Weird? What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” said Edelie in a low voice. “She had a weird look in her eyes. I caught her staring at me, and it gave me the chills for some reason.”
“What weird look?”
“As if she wanted to… eat me or something?”
Estrella laughed. “Probably just the pills, honey. They gave her some painkillers at the hospital. Against the headache?”
“Which is another thing that’s so weird. This is Gran we’re talking about. The super witch? When is the last time you saw her taking any pills?”
Estrella frowned. “Um… like, never?”
“That’s right. Gran never takes any medication because she can always heal herself with a spell. So why didn’t she do that this time? Why pills?”
“I guess she wanted to try something new?” she suggested a little lamely.
“And why did she fall in the first place? Gran
never falls. She’s never been sick,” she said, checking off on her fingers. “She’s never taken any medication, and she definitely never trips or falls. She never, ever bumps her head. She’s a witch, Estrella. Things like that simply don’t happen to her.”
“They happen to us,” Estrella pointed out. “Remember how you used to trip up all the time? Especially when you were in your bell-bottom phase?”
“Yes, but we’re the worst witches in the world,” Edelie pointed out. “Gran is the very best.”
“Huh. Haven’t thought about that, actually.”
“Well, I have, and I swear, Strel, when I came home and caught Gran staring at me like that? It gave me the creeps. She looked… really mean.”
“That’s not possible. Gran doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”
“Well, I’m telling you that she has now,” Edelie insisted stubbornly.
“Like I said,” said Estrella, “she was out of it. Woozy from those painkillers.” She gave her sister a mock punch on the thigh. “Just you wait and see. Tomorrow she’ll be her old self again, cooking up a storm for breakfast, and trying to force Ernestine to start eating meat again.”
Edelie grinned. “As if that will ever work.”
“Well, you have to hand it to her, she doesn’t give up without a fight.”
At the age of fifteen Ernestine had suddenly decided she was going to be vegetarian, much to Gran’s horror, and hadn’t eaten a single piece of meat since. And Gran hadn’t given up hope that one day she’d reintroduce her to the world of the carnivores. Not that she would ever succeed, Estrella reckoned. Ernestine was just about as stubborn as Gran herself. When those two butted heads, there was no telling who would win.
Edelie watched the Kardashians for all of five seconds, then rolled her eyes and was off to her own room again, leaving Estrella to enjoy her favorite show in peace. But as she was once again devoting her full attention to the adventures of what in her mind was America’s first family, she thought back to her sister’s words. Why hadn’t Gran healed herself? And what was more, why had Gran hurt herself in the first place? Edie was right. For as long as she could remember, nothing bad had ever happened to her, so why now?
The reunion had been heartfelt, and Gran had seemed like her old self again, but had she? She’d been so happy to have her grandmother back that she hadn’t really paid attention. The only thing she’d found strange was the presence of Ronny there, who apparently was something of a crook if that Detective Barkley was to be believed. And he wouldn’t lie about that.
Then she decided not to dwell on this stuff. This was Edie again, of course. She always saw the worst in people and circumstances. Even in heaven, Edelie would find a fly in her rice pudding. That was just how she was. No, Gran was fine, and tomorrow they’d ask about this Joshua guy, and Gran would fix him like she’d fixed everything else for the past twenty years.
Chapter 15
Sam Barkley took a bite from the chocolate chip cookie and nodded appreciatively. Whatever else he might think about Cassandra Beadsmore, she could definitely bake. He was staring at his computer, where he’d just finished typing up a report on the serial killer he’d been tracking for a while now. The guy had already left a long trail of bodies in his wake, and the latest one had just been fished out of the Hudson a couple of days ago. He always used the same MO: the victims were all young women, walking alone along the street, and they were all choked to death with some type of garrote that didn’t leave a single trace, then dumped somewhere out of sight. They’d dubbed the perp the invisible choker, as no one had been able to determine how exactly the victims were strangled. The whole thing was a big mystery.
He stared at the cups and saucers in the plastic baggie placed on the edge of his desk. Pierre had dumped it there, and he frowned as he took in the small purple pouch that was lumped in with the rest of the stuff. It had obviously been used to transport jewelry of some kind. Which reminded him of something. If Ronny had indeed been the old woman’s guest, it stood to reason that the pouch belonged to him, but why would a known thief like him visit old ladies and gift them jewelry? Usually he was the one to lift that stuff.
He quickly brought up the report on Ronny’s latest arrest. The guy must have been high on something. Arrested while in the process of giving back stolen items to five homeowners, and reimbursing them in full. The first homeowner they’d interviewed had made a very weird claim. He said Ronny had been dressed up as if going to some fancy dress party: sporting pig’s ears, a pig’s nose and a tail, and even his speech had been garbled, sounding more like ‘Oink oink oink.’ The moment he’d handed them back their laptop, however, his voice had been restored to normal, and he’d told them, a little wild-eyed, that he’d been coerced into this by some crazy old witch!
Sam leaned back and frowned. Ronny himself had said nothing about an old witch or the fact that he’d been dressed up like a pig. He stared at the purple pouch again, then drew the plastic baggie within reach and opened it carefully, taking out the pouch. He turned it over in his hands, then unfastened the strap and peered inside. Nothing. The thing was empty.
He studied it some more, feeling the material under his fingers. It was expensive, he figured. Not something Ronny would have in his possession unless he’d stolen it somewhere. He tried to picture the scenario. Ronny had been visiting houses to return stolen goods and said he’d been forced into this by someone. An old witch. And next day he was visiting Cassandra Beadsmore, handing her a pouch of jewelry. The lady had fallen, bumped her head against the cabinet and taken to the hospital. It was all very fishy.
Then he heaved a loud grumble and dumped the pouch back into the plastic evidence baggie. Whatever Ronny was up to, it wasn’t his concern. He’d spent enough time arresting the guy back in the day when he was still handling anti-crime. Now he had bigger and more dangerous fish to fry. Fish that abducted women, killed them and dumped them in the Hudson. Though Ronny Mullarkey was a nasty piece of work, at least he didn’t go around killing people, so there was that to be said for the annoying creep.
He pushed the baggie away until it landed on Pierre’s desk, then slapped a Post-it on it: ‘Return to owner.’ That was as far as his involvement went.
Chapter 16
Ernestine was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. All thought of Hugh Laurie had left her mind, and now all she could think about, for some strange reason, was Detective Sam Barkley. She didn’t know why, for Barkley was absolutely not her type. Furthermore, he was a bully and hadn’t been helpful when they called him in. Quite the contrary. If it were up to Barkley, Gran could have remained gone, and he wouldn’t have lifted a finger to find her.
Still, there was something about the guy, something that reminded her of… of whom, exactly? Actually, she didn’t know, for she’d never met a man like him before, a fact which fascinated her. He was fascinating to her because he was a novelty. A species of man she’d never met before. And she’d met men in all shapes and sizes, both in her personal and her professional life. She grinned as she thought back to Lyndon Bloom. Poor guy. She’d really scared the living daylights out of him, hadn’t she? Perhaps he’d even change law firms on account of her. Well, suited him right. A man who allowed his wife to cheat on him no less than twenty-four times deserved a little scare. If someone had cheated on her even once, she’d have sent him packing.
And it was then that she caught sight of a curious object. A small spot on the ceiling, next to the Chinese lantern she’d once hung up there. The spot seemed kaleidoscopic in design, as if consisting of many different colors, and at first she thought it was a bug of some kind, a big fat fly. But even as she watched, it grew bigger and more colorful still, and finally was as big as a small TV screen, right there on her ceiling. And as she watched, unable to look away, she saw that it was a replay of the scenes that had occurred today.
She saw herself being reduced to a tiny spec, and then Tavish Mildew hove into view, telling her to track down and stop Jos
hua before it was too late. She groaned at the recollection. With all the things that had happened with Gran, she’d forgotten about the urgency with which the mysterious man had delivered his message, and she was reminded of the stories of her two sisters, who’d had the same experience. She watched as the small screen faded into nothingness again, and figured it was merely a projection of her own imagination, reminding her of the message she’d been given.
Tomorrow morning they would talk to Gran, she vowed, and find out what was going on. She was certain she would have heard of both this Joshua and Tavish and would be able to tell them what was going on.
And as her eyes drooped shut, the last image that appeared before her mind’s eye was that of Sam Barkley, barking at her as seemed to be his habit. But then his grumpy features suddenly morphed into a much more endearing arrangement, just like Dr. House could be extremely gruff and grumpy one moment and charming and charismatic the next. For some reason she thought Detective Sam Barkley was actually a very interesting man indeed.
Then she drifted off to sleep, and all thought of the Sam Barkleys of this world were quickly forgotten. In her dream she was a small fruit fly, being chased by a man carrying bug spray, but as she tried to escape him, she got caught up in a strip of flypaper, and no matter how hard she struggled and fought, it was to no avail. She was caught and would die here. And with her last breath, she cried out, “Detective Barkley! Sam! Please help me!”
But all Sam did in her dream was grunt, “Ugh,” and turn away.
Chapter 17
Morning arrived bright and early, and Edelie awoke with a groan. She didn’t do bright and early. She much preferred to stay up half the night and sleep in. But she’d tried that, and the result was that she’d fallen asleep in the middle of pouring a customer a Double Latte Macchiato and had spilled the hot beverage all over herself. So nowadays she tried to be more like a normal person: early to bed, early to rise—however weird that was for her.
