Daniel wasn’t sure how long they stood there, arms wrapped around each other, trying to calm their breathing. The warm water of the pool acted as a soothing blanket as his senses returned to normal.
“We should take this back to the house,” Edward said, cupping Daniel’s buttocks firmly.
The intimation was clear, and it hit Daniel like falling into the Solent in December. He’d let himself be carried away, and it would not be fair to either of them to let it continue. “I can’t.”
Edward’s eyes narrowed. “What you mean you can’t? You were able to a moment ago.”
“This is madness. I leave again in a few days. This just complicates matters, and it will not end well for either of us.”
“You do not need to leave. You could stay here—with me.”
He thought Edward had understood. “You know it’s not that simple. I have to report to Jamaica and most likely Portsmouth.”
Edward grunted and stepped away, making Daniel lose his footing and bereft at the loss of Edward’s body against his own.
“You have already made your choice. Despite what we shared before, know how I feel, you have chosen to leave.”
“I do not have a choice. I must do what is right.”
“And what about what is right for us?”
Daniel didn’t have the words to answer that. How could Edward think he could remain here and turn his back on the navy and his ship—leave Neechals, Gilman, and Jones unpunished? “Be reasonable. I did not say I would not return, just that now is not the right time to continue this.”
“Will there ever be the right time? When will the great Captain Horton want to return to his pirate lover?”
The words were spat with such malice that Daniel couldn’t help but feel his own hackles rise. “Three days ago, you did not care for me. Did you reignite your feelings for me as quickly as you snuffed them out fifteen years ago?”
“That is unfair.”
“No more unfair than you are being to me. I must leave, and I don’t know when I can return, but you have spent years in the arms of many others—and I do not blame you for that. Neither can I ask you to stop if I am not here.”
Edward’s lip curled into a sneer. “You think so little of me? You stand there a self-sacrificing martyr, but you are just a coward.”
“Call me what you wish, it will not change my mind.”
Edward snorted. “You have saved me from a great mistake. Why should I limit myself to such a cold, unfeeling man? Fifteen years has changed you for the worse, Daniel Horton. But yet you are still as timid and inexperienced as the young man I knew. Why would I want that when I can have any passionate man or woman that I want?”
Before Daniel could answer, Edward was wading through the water. Once he reached the land, Edward collected his clothes and stormed off without looking back. Daniel slowly made his way out of the pool. In theory he had got what he had wanted, stopped Edward from getting carried away. He’d only briefly thought about the possibility of returning and hadn’t dismissed the idea outright. Now was not the right time, but some point in the future might have been. However, Edward was hurt and angry. Daniel had rejected him, and he’d retaliated with harsh words thrown at Daniel. But there was nothing untrue in what Edward had said.
Once out of the pool, he squeezed as much of the water out his drawers as he could and dressed. The sun was starting to set, and Daniel wanted to be out of the forest before it got too dark to navigate. His heart had been heavy when he’d been told Edward had died, but now it just as bad, as if he had lost Edward for a second time, only now it was of his own making. Edward had made it clear what he thought were Daniel’s failings, and Daniel could only agree with him.
Chapter Nine
By the time Edward had reached the town he was beyond angry and seething with indignance. How dare Daniel reject him in such a way? They might have had chance to be happy if Daniel had allowed himself, but even without trying to find a way, Daniel had dismissed it. The damage was done. Daniel could have spent some extra time with Edward rekindling what they had once had. But, no, Daniel needed to return now; what would a few months apart matter when they could have had the rest of their lives together? And the bastard had gone as far to say that even if they were reunited properly he could not expect fidelity from Edward while Daniel was gone. He was many things in life, but Edward was loyal, and if he plighted troth to someone, he would honour it.
The pool had been a mistake. Taking Daniel there would leave a bad memory rather than the wonderful one he had hoped for. Having Daniel back in his arms, feeling him shudder and moan as he came with Edward’s hand wrapped around his cock had been one of the best things he’d experienced in years. But the resulting argument left a sour taste, and he needed to vent some of his annoyance before it consumed him. He was known in all of the taverns and he didn’t care which one he chose so he picked the first one he came to, one owned by a man he knew from his days sailing with Leer. Someone who wouldn’t be foolish enough to ask asinine questions when he ordered a bottle of rum while obviously drinking alone.
Most of the people in Plesmaya knew him on sight. They also knew that if he was not his usual affable self he was to be avoided. He claimed a table in the corner, sat down and kicked his feet up onto a chair. The barkeeper appeared, assessed his mood correctly and returned, setting down the quart of rum with a single glass, although Edward wasn’t sure he wouldn’t be drinking straight from the bottle at some point.
He seldom brooded, but when he did he excelled at it. Edward replayed the conversations he’d had with Daniel over the last few days. Hearing that Daniel had thought him dead had undermined his belief that Daniel hadn’t wanted him, but now Edward half wished he didn’t know. That way he could go back to believing Daniel had abandoned him years ago and not rejected him now. He gulped down another glass of rum, the burn no longer as vicious as the first few. The sharp edges of his anger were beginning to blur.
Daniel had definitely been willing in the pool. There was no mistaking the reaction, but the reticence afterwards and his unwillingness to reconsider returning to Jamaica had stung. But then Edward had hardly walked away from that encounter with something to be proud of. The words he had fired back had only echoed Daniel’s concerns.
The chair next to him was dragged away from the table. He looked up as Brillack sat down uninvited. “I am in no mood for company.”
“That’s the best time to have some. No good comes from rum and brooding—you don’t want the crew to think you’re sulking over an Englishman.”
“Who says I’m sulking over Horton?”
Brillack snorted. “You forget how well I know you. He’s not someone you’ve just met, is he? He’s the one you ramble on about when you’ve drunk your boots full.”
Edward couldn’t deny that. Brillack was one of his closest friends and had witnessed his morose moods. “I guess I can’t fool you.”
“Yeah, well, I had expected you to react differently when a naval officer was thrown at your feet. You’re not the type to play with your prisoners. Those that aren’t interested you chuck in the hold, but him—he was different.”
“When I saw him, I wanted to punch him. But when he said he thought I was dead, that changed everything. He hadn’t spurned me, hadn’t given up—instead it was me who had.” His heart had plummeted at the realization, and he still had a queasy feeling when he thought about it.
Brillack reached out and took a swig from the bottle, Edward doing nothing to stop him. “But now you have him back, the air cleared, why are you in here rather than at your house making up for the lost time?”
“Because he won’t. Wants to return to Jamaica.” God it hurt to say the words, to acknowledge that Daniel wanted to leave him.
Brillack side-eyed him. “Why?”
“He wants to see the men who cast him off his ship punished.”
“Could you honestly tell me, that if someone had done that to you, that you wouldn’t have torn the Cari
bbean apart to see them pay?”
Edward took a swing of the rum. “I know, but this is different.”
“How is it? Because he is choosing his revenge over you? He’s a naval officer, men don’t rise through those ranks without being at least part devil.”
“He has the choice.”
Brillack snorted. “You really think, even if Horton were to leave the navy, he could settle down to live happily ever after knowing the men who wronged him weren’t punished?”
Brillack spoke an uncomfortable truth. If Daniel didn’t settle this it would be a ghost that would haunt him for the rest of his life. It would eat into him, gnawing away until all that was left was an unquenchable thirst for revenge.
Edward sighed. “You’re right, of course. But it didn’t mean he had to push me away. He could have laid his ghosts to rest and come back.”
“You’re asking a lot of man after only a few days. Did he say he wouldn’t return—at least to the islands?”
“That’s not what he said.”
“Then what did he say?”
He hated being questioned, but Brillack had been a useful confidante in the past, and it might do him good to get everything straight in his head. “He is not willing for us to be together now, not when he probably has to return to England. He didn’t say he wouldn’t come back, but he did say he couldn’t expect me to not continue taking others to my bed.”
“Ah, well, that is a very different thing.” Brillack took the rum and waved the bottle in Edward’s direction. “Why should he think you capable? Captain Merric is a known lothario. Sounds to me like he’s being realistic.”
Edward smacked the table with his fist. “He should not make such assumptions.”
“Why not? You don’t know each other anymore.”
“But he isn’t giving us the chance to. He should at least stay a while longer.”
“Did you give him the option?”
Edward hadn’t given Daniel much time to say anything. “Not in so many words. But he was adamant he had to leave.”
Brillack shrugged. “He is a man who has found his long-lost lover is not dead. Instead he is a pirate living a fine life, and the man he cared for has carried on without him. I, too, would be sore and unwilling to give everything up.”
“So I am at fault?”
“You are both stubborn men. You both have expectations, but neither of you seems to have tried to find a way to meet in the middle.” Brillack scratched his beard thoughtfully. “You must care very much for him to be this upset. Is your temper worth risking a future together? But you may have to accept it cannot start yet.”
“It will not start at all if he can’t trust me. I am capable of fidelity.”
Brillack choked on the swing of rum he had taken. “If moving on to the next without promising more, then yes, I suppose you could call it so. And besides, him saying you need not be faithful means you should expect the same from him—clever man.”
Edward knew that was not going to be a problem, but it was something else he had thrown in Daniel’s face. “He has no taste for many lovers. I went so far as to say that his inexperience left him cold-hearted and I would not wish to be limited to such a man.”
Brillack gave him the kind of look his old governess would have given him when had been particularly naughty or bad-mannered. On reflection, his words had been beyond cruel. “Take it from a man who has loved and lost many times, your words will come back to haunt you if you do not make them right. You have as good as assured him that you are interested in others.”
“I am a buffoon.” Edward grabbed the rum and drank deeply. Alcohol was his only answer at this point. He had ruined everything, so he might as well drink himself into oblivion.
“I would not dare to tell my captain such a thing.” Brillack snatched the bottle away. “If you wish to be able to stand in the morning, you should stop drinking.”
“Who says I wish to stand?”
Brillack clutched the bottle to his chest, clear he wouldn’t be giving it back. “To fix this you need to act quickly. Go home, sober up, and on the morrow search out Horton.”
Edward staggered to his feet, the alcohol hitting him harder than he had expected. He didn’t think there was much hope in fixing things. Daniel’s opinion of him was clear, and Edward wasn’t going to beg, but maybe they could at least part as friends.
Chapter Ten
Daniel ventured downstairs after a night where, once again, his ability to sleep anywhere had deserted him. He’d watched a glorious sunrise from the window in his room. The servants had provided him with a platter of fruit for breakfast, which he’d tried his best to eat but his appetite was much reduced. So far, he had seen no sign of Edward. He didn’t want to leave things as they were—he was positive if he could explain Edward would understand, that they could salvage something from the mess they found themselves in.
By mid-afternoon he was pacing the library, not able to sit still, and even a brief walk had not been able to distract him. The library reminded him a little of his childhood home, but the impressive collection of books couldn’t hold his interest. A slight breeze from an open window helped keep the room cool despite the rising temperatures outside. He’d gone over and over in his head what had happened in the pool, could understand Edward’s outburst but at the same time Daniel didn’t think he’d had any other option than to stop things going further. That didn’t stop him wishing for more, even though he knew it might be impossible.
The door to library opened, and Edward entered. He looked uncertain—not something Daniel would ever had associated with him.
“I owe you an apology.” Edward walked forwards. “I said some things that were intolerable, and I apologise.”
Daniel hadn’t expected Edward to come to him with an olive branch. “You weren’t wrong. You only spoke the truth—you can have whoever you want, and I have become the very man you described.”
“I do not believe that. I may have said the words but I did so out of frustration. We do not know each other like we once did, I cannot expect you to want me or trust me.”
“It is not a matter of want.” Daniel had to fight to find the correct words, needed Edward to listen and understand. “My desire for you is as great now as it was when I was younger. Finding you alive is nothing short of a miracle, but it comes with many challenges. I cannot remain here while those men remain unpunished.”
Edward placed a hand on Daniel’s arm. “I have spent much of today thinking about this and I realize that I would have to do the same, but it is still a great distress to me that you have to go.”
“I hope that we can at least separate as friends. The timing is terrible. I do not know when I can return or how we could be anything more. I am still a member of His Majesty’s navy, and you are a pirate—it’s not a convenient situation.” He had struggled with their positions. His sense of duty had been drummed into him from an early age, and he could not turn his back on his command for something as selfish as his own happiness.
“Very true. But if you were to return, we would find a way to make it work.”
“I do not like making promises I cannot keep. I want you to know that I was not meaning to cast aspersions on your ability to offer fidelity, but that I would not ask that of you when I do not know the future.”
Something passed across Edward’s face, and it was yet another expression Daniel could not decipher. More evidence that they had far to go before they could claim to know each other.
“I may have reacted rashly.”
“You said you would take me to Jamaica after a few days at Plesmaya. I hope we can part as friends.”
“Then let me show you the places around the island that Plesmaya is famed for.”
Edward hadn’t agreed to a friendship, which at this point was the best Daniel thought they could have. Too much time and animosity had passed for there to be more between them, and while disappointing, it was only to be expected. “I look forward to it.”
Daniel fixed a smile on his face and prayed Edward didn’t see past its frailty. He was about to subject himself to an evening of exquisite torture, watching Edward in his element, playing Captain Merric. “I am sure it will fill a sizeable gap in my education.”
Upon leaving the house, they took the path back to town, rather than the one into the forest. Daniel’s attempt at sleep had not been helped by the constant thoughts of what had happened in the pool. Desperate not to be further distracted, he shook the image of a gloriously wet Edward from his mind and concentrated on the path instead.
“I suppose you will take me to the most raucous place you know of.”
“No, I don’t think you’d be interested in visiting Madam Min’s bordello.”
“Correct.”
“The girls can defend themselves, but the number of fights far outstrips those from any of the taverns.” Edward grinned. “Mind you, they are all armed with cutlasses, so only an idiot would try to get away without paying.”
“You sound like the voice of experience.”
“I’ve never left without paying.”
Another piece of information he could have done without. But it wasn’t as if he had never visited such a place, although he doubted he got the same type of service Edward went for. Edward veered to the left into a street where several buildings that were little more than shacks squatted together, each helping the other to remain standing.
The tavern didn’t have a name. To Daniel it didn’t appear to be any different from the others in the centre of the town. He’d had to duck his head to clear the doorway, and due to its low ceiling, he was only just able to stand to his full height and avoid the beams. The minute Edward stepped through the door, there had been a roar of welcome. Brillack and a handful of the other men from the Opal were sat a table in the corner away from the bar. With his hand on the small of Daniel’s back, Edward managed to steer them both through the crowd towards his men.
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