by Jenny Hale
She felt like her heart was being ripped right out of her chest. In a perfect world, she would’ve loved to have taken Papa’s hard work and put her spin on it. She’d have done something more with the pier, perhaps, maybe even planted some flowers in a garden outside.
She took in the salty air, let the sun’s rays hit her face, and reminded herself that in time, she would be all right. The bay that had always given her calm was working its magic.
“You okay?” she heard a familiar voice from beside her. Rachel sat down in the grass and hugged her knees. Flash lifted his head to greet her and then put it back down on his paws.
“No. But I will be.”
Rachel gave her a look to let her know she understood. “Did Jeff get all the things to storage that you’re saving?”
“I think so. I want this too.” She patted the arm of the chair. “What will happen to Papa’s tractor?”
“I’ll get Jeff to drive it to our house for now, but you can’t keep it, Emily. Where would you put it?”
“I know I can’t keep it.” She remembered Papa’s words: It feels like I’m gone, but remember I’m right here. She tried to tell herself that. “Did you know Gram mentioned she might want to stay in Clearwater?”
“Yeah, she said she might.”
“She could stay at my new place if it gets too crowded at yours.”
“It’s fine if she stays with us. She and Clara will have a ball together.”
“Gram said I could have some of the furniture that we’ve put in storage—the pieces you haven’t marked that she’s leaving behind.”
“I’m glad you’re keeping some too.”
“They’re beautiful pieces,” Rachel said. “Gram had mentioned that you plan to call some antique shops in town for the rest. I don’t mind doing that for you.”
“Thank you.”
They sat there in silence while Flash made his way up to the house to bark at the movers as they exited.
“Looks like they’re done for the day. They’re taking the last of it on Monday, I believe. I should probably get Gram to my house now. Her room’s all ready,” Rachel said. “Want to come over?”
“No, thank you. I’m going to move my things into the condo today. It’s available whenever I’m ready, so there’s no time like the present, I suppose.”
“Want me to bring Jeff’s truck over? He can drive your car while you’re moving.”
“That would be great.”
“Need any help? I could organize things for you next week while you’re at work.”
“Thank you. I’d rather do it alone though, but I’ll give you a key in case I change my mind.”
Rachel nodded. It was clear that she knew Emily had a lot on her mind, and she’d had enough practice with that to know that it was better to just leave Emily alone when she asked. “I can’t wait until you have everything moved in. You’ll have to have us over.”
Emily smiled. “Absolutely.” She stood up. “Now, Let me help you with Gram.”
Flash hopped out of the car and followed Emily up to the door of her condo. It was a short walk to the public beach access, but she had a nice view of it from where she was. She slipped the key into the lock and twisted the knob.
The first thing she noticed when she opened the door was the newness of the place. Everything was so nice—the stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, the carpets, the fresh paint on the walls. Having been a rental for vacationers, it was furnished and the pieces used were in an island colonial theme. Large glass windows covered the back wall to allow a view of the bay, gauzy white curtains hanging from embellished wrought-iron curtain rods flanking their sides. As beautiful as it was, it still didn’t have the character that Oyster Bay had.
Flash was in the kitchen, sniffing his way around.
“Do you like this place, boy?” Emily asked, patting his head.
He looked up at her and snorted before resuming his sniffing. She was glad that no one had claimed him because it was nice having another being with her to keep her company.
She dropped the keys on the kitchen counter and walked back out to Jeff’s truck, leaving the door open so Flash could come and go—he always stayed near her when she was around. She’d left most of her things in storage, but she’d brought a few pieces to make the home her own. She didn’t want to bring too much since it was only temporary. Once she got settled, she’d be looking for somewhere to live after the summer was finished and perhaps even before then if Gram made up her mind to stay. She pulled the old floor lamp from the back of the truck. The stained glass top, in its reds and blues, would be perfect in the living room.
She brought it in and set it behind a leather recliner. The blue in the lamp matched the blue on the wall. She let her eyes roam the thick white trim framing the walls, and thought how lovely it was. The cheeriness of the place and the bay breeze were giving her hope in new beginnings.
Emily had learned about grief as a child—Gram had taught her. Every time, Gram said, there was a moment when she’d learn to fly again. Like she had when she’d laughed with her sister and Jeff in the yard those nights, like when she’d thrown her hat into the air at college graduation, like when she’d worked at the pub, she’d fly again.
Emily went back out and got Papa’s hat rack and a suitcase and brought them inside. Flash came out from behind the white curtains in the living room to greet her, and then followed her upstairs to the bedroom. It had vaulted ceilings and a paddle fan in the center. She set the hat rack on the large bed.
Double glass doors with more sheer linen curtains covered the wall. She pulled them back to reveal sliding doors. With a click of the lock and a hefty tug, she pulled it open, the curtains blowing out into the room with the rush of tidal wind. There was a small deck only big enough for one chair but the view was fantastic. She sat down on the chair and looked out at the enormous expanse of blue before her. The Chesapeake Bay was so large that in places she couldn’t even see the other side. There was a sailboat out there today, and with the way the wind was blowing her hair, she knew it was a perfect day for sailing.
It made her think about the regatta she was planning for the inn. Emily wondered, would Charlie come back for it? But then she stopped herself. She needed to move on and feel what it was like not to have anyone to lean on. She hadn’t heard from him again since that one text, and his silence made her think things were finally finished between them. Maybe she hadn’t replied, but he hadn’t said anything to fix the break between them either. She felt sorry for him, actually. His upbringing hadn’t taught him much about the importance of home and family. If he couldn’t see the value in those things, if he couldn’t see the reasons for compromise, or at least have a discussion regarding it, then maybe he wasn’t the person for her anyway.
By the time Emily had unpacked the necessities and showered, Flash was a little stir crazy. He kept scratching at the door, and she worried about him putting claw marks in the paint. So she thought she’d take him down to the beach to play catch. She had to put him on a leash, and at first he didn’t like it one bit, but as they walked, he must have realized that she had a firm grip on him and he slowed down, pacing beside her. She decided that if she was going to keep Flash, she’d better look for a rental with a yard.
Being a weekend, the public beach was crowded with people, but there was a marina nearby with a large strip of grass on the other side, so she took Flash there to play. He was so excited to be off the leash that he almost knocked her over. His relentless happiness made her cheerful. She threw the ball as far as it would go. Flash tore after it, and she could see the muscles working in his sides and legs. Keeping an active routine for him would be of the utmost importance this summer. She’d probably have to get him a crate for the days she worked because he might ruin the house trying to get out if she didn’t, so he’d need a lot of exercise in the evenings.
Flash brought the red ball back and dropped it at her feet. She threw it again with all her might and he went c
hasing after it. Only then did she notice the beautiful surroundings. So many gorgeous sailboats lined the pier, their sails rolled and roped down, the boats rocking in the gentle tide of the bay. The sun was bright, like a white ball, casting rays onto the water and giving it its familiar sparkle.
As she played Fetch with Flash, she tried to pinpoint the things she liked about her new location: She liked the marina already—she even saw a restaurant with an open-air bar attached; she liked the view from her new bedroom; she liked how new everything was. She tried to focus on those things.
Twenty-Three
It had been a whole week since Emily had seen Charlie that day on the front porch. Seven days. Flash was settling in at the condo. They went to the marina every day after work to play Fetch and then she took him for long walks on the beach. Like it always had, the bay relaxed her. But she missed Charlie.
Today, she’d driven Flash to Wiley’s pier, and they’d walked for miles in both directions on the sand before finally going out on the pier. It was a big day because today was Closing Day. Gram had signed over the papers for Papa’s house this morning, and it was officially gone.
She sat on the pier like Gram had done all those years ago, hoping to feel the calm that Papa could always bring, Flash lowering himself down beside her. She handed him his bone. The weather was mild for a summer day. It was in the eighties with a nice breeze and not a cloud in the sky. As she looked out at the bay, she could almost feel Papa sitting next to her. She wanted to let him know that she was okay. That, even though she didn’t have anything but his note and a few photos of him, she knew he was close by.
Something about her life, though, just didn’t feel right, and it wasn’t losing Oyster Bay. She hadn’t imagined this for herself. Sometimes, when she was out walking Flash, she thought about what others around her must see—her upscale work clothes, her well-behaved dog, her new condo. She looked like a person she’d never wanted to be. She was supposed to be that woman who had a loving husband who would play out in the yard with their children; she was supposed to be that woman who took her kids to the pier, telling them stories about their great-grandfather and how he’d built one for her a long time ago; she was supposed to be the woman who spent all day on the beach, running with her dog in the woods, catching lightning bugs at night; she was supposed to be the woman who heard her children call out “Mommy” when she’d tucked them all into bed, put away their bedtime stories, and turned on their nightlights.
But she wasn’t.
She wanted to call Charlie, to hear his voice, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. Maybe they’d just have to go on with life and see what happened. What worried her was that she wouldn’t get to see what happened with him.
With a deep breath, her lungs full of fresh air, she stood up and patted her leg for Flash to do the same. He followed her lead, his bone in his mouth, his tail swooshing back and forth.
“Time to go home,” she said. She was having her family over for dinner now that she was finally settled, and it was nearing time to get ready.
“Hey there,” Jeff said, offering a side hug as he and Clara met Emily at the door of her condo. She let them in. “Nice place!”
Clara went running inside.
“Thank you.”
Rachel helped Gram out of the car and Flash had already exited the house and made it over to them to say hello.
“Aunt Emily,” Clara said, returning and tugging on her shirt at the back. “Are those cookies in there for us?”
“Yes! But I’ll bet your mom will say you have to have your dinner first.”
Flash had gone back inside ahead of Rachel and Gram. He nudged Clara in the doorway, asking her to pet him. She giggled and put her little hands on his face awkwardly covering his eyes, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“This is lovely,” Gram said as she reached the door.
“Oh! You’ve hung Papa’s hat rack!” Rachel said, coming into the small entryway, helping Gram inside. “It looks great there.”
Gram peered over at it for a little while before turning and heading toward the kitchen.
Jeff took Flash and Clara outside. Emily brought over a plate of casual hors d’oeuvres and set it down on the coffee table in front of Rachel and Gram as they sat down on the sofa.
“Wow. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” Rachel said, smiling up at her sister as she took a small puff pastry off the plate.
“I enjoyed it!” Emily liked entertaining, and this was the first time she’d been able to since she’d been back home. She’d found an unfussy dinner recipe that had been given to her by a friend in Richmond for salmon with lemon and dill over rice. “Eat up,” she said with a grin, “before Flash comes back in and helps himself.”
Gram picked up a pastry. “How do you like living here?” she asked.
“It’s different.” she said. “It’s good! But I like having you all over and being together like we always have.”
“Too bad Charlie couldn’t be here. He was a lot of fun. Have you spoken to him?” Gram asked.
“No.”
“Did you see this?” Rachel said, pulling a rolled magazine from her handbag. She opened it, and slid it toward Emily. “Rodger Simpson did a story on your guy… I thought you might want a copy.”
“He’s not my guy,” she said, peering down at the professional shot of Charlie in his suit, leaning against a table in the Concord Suite, the beautiful room behind him and sailboats on the glistening water out the window, and then another of him at the pier—she remembered he’d mentioned that.
Emily had to work to pull her eyes from his face. She missed him. She felt bad for blowing up at him. A wave of mortification washed over her as she thought of how she’d acted sometimes around him, her emotions getting the better of her. But at the end of the day, she still regretted losing Oyster Bay.
“Thanks,” she said, shutting the magazine and setting it on the coffee table.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be,” Rachel said. She looked down at the magazine before meeting Emily’s eyes and smiling.
“Think so?”
“I believe so,” Gram said. “Just look at me and Papa.”
Emily wasn’t convinced—she thought her grandparents were just lucky—but she hoped Gram was right.
“Has anything happened on the property yet?” Rachel asked. “Anyone know when they’re starting to build?”
“I’d given Charlie the go-ahead as soon as we were out,” Gram said. “There’s no reason to hold things up just because of paperwork. But I don’t know what’s been done at the moment. I haven’t been by to see it.”
“I don’t want to see it,” Emily said. She thought about the tree swings being cut down, the yard overrun with machinery, the house falling to pieces. She didn’t want that mental picture among her collection of memories. Emily stood up. “I’m going to have a drink. Would anyone else like one?”
“Would you please get us all one,” Gram said. “I’d like to propose a toast.”
She obliged and got them all a glass of local white wine. Then she took a seat in the living room, glad to have everyone together again tonight.
Gram held up her glass. “To family,” she said. “And to life. It is a glorious ride no matter where we are! Cheers.”
They clinked their glasses.
“Speaking of family, have you thought any more about staying in Clearwater?” Emily asked. “I was thinking that we could look for a place together.”
Gram smiled and set her glass down, fiddling with the stem. “That’s really nice of you. But I still need to think about what’s best. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”
“You wouldn’t be.”
She nodded and then said, “Well…,” like she did, letting Emily know she wouldn’t have any answers right now. “No matter what, it’ll all be okay.”
“You’re very positive in your old age,” Rachel said. “I hope I can be as upbeat as you are.”
“I fully be
lieve both of you will be,” Gram said.
“Why do you think so?” Emily asked.
“Because once you’re sittin’ on my side of this lifetime, you’ll look back on all your struggles and know that they were just blips between the better things—the wonderful things—that happen. Yes, I lost my son but I got to raise his two daughters at an older age. I embraced it, and it was wonderful. Every time I brushed your hair and braided it for school, I stored that memory away so that it could warm me on those cold nights. Yes, Papa left us. But I got all those decades with him, all that time… I have more to be thankful for than I can even recollect in one sittin’. My heart is full.”
Emily took Gram’s words to heart. Her failed relationship with Brad, losing Papa’s house, and Charlie… They were just blips. She wanted to believe that. She focused on the positive: She had Gram and the rest of her family right here at this moment. It was time to celebrate that. “Let me find Jeff and Clara so we can eat.”
Twenty-Four
Emily knew better. She knew better than to take the long way to work and drive past Oyster Bay. Like her other losses in life, she’d finally made it over the coping stage, and now she could breathe again. While she missed the house terribly, she knew that she could handle living without it.
It was probably for the best, but the house was still mostly hidden from the road, and she couldn’t pull into the drive because construction cones had blocked it off. As she drove slowly by, she couldn’t see the entire state of the farmhouse through the trees—the bulldozers were lined up in front of it—but she caught a glimpse of an empty spot where she swore the roof had been, the spot where she remembered Papa patching it when there had been a leak.
She rolled her window down, the low hum of machinery coming from behind the trees, and her heart sank. Pretty soon the walls would be crumbling beneath the impact of a wrecking ball, the handprints on the pavement breaking apart as the jackhammers plowed into it. She hit the gas, speeding away from the scene.
