Change of Pace

by Jae

  Ms. Kinsley nodded happily.

  “Then I’m happy for you,” Sophie said generously.

  For a moment, Ms. Kinsley blinked in surprise, then her smile brightened. “Thank you.”

  Why is she so surprised by a few polite words? Sophie wondered. She tried to catch a glimpse of the red SUV behind them in the outside mirror. Kadence has some weird friends.

  * * *

  On legs that felt a little rubbery, Sophie let herself be helped down from the cabin of the big moving van and looked around the new neighborhood. Just across the street was a park that looked nice enough but was a little too busy for Sophie’s taste. Children were screeching on a tire swing, the players on a basketball court were shouting at each other, and dogs were barking. From somewhere, Sophie could hear the familiar plopping of tennis balls.

  Sophie followed Ms. Kinsley over to a three-story house. Just as they reached it, the front door opened, and an older woman stepped outside. “Oh, new neighbors,” she said when she saw the moving van. She looked at all the people walking up with moving boxes. “Which one of you is moving in?”

  “That would be me,” Ms. Kinsley said with a bright smile, “and her.” She grabbed the arm of the tall woman next to her and held on to it for a moment before she let go to shake her new neighbor’s hand. “Dawn Kinsley and Aiden Carlisle.”

  Sophie couldn’t help staring. She is Aiden? Not he? She looked at the young, dark-haired man who stood in the second row, waiting with a moving box in his hands. Ms. Kinsley is moving in with a woman. Good God, has the whole world suddenly become gay? She turned to look at Kadence, who just stared back and raised a challenging eyebrow, daring her to say something. Oh, no, Kadence Matheson! My parents taught me better than to make a scene, but that doesn’t mean I approve of this circle of friends you suddenly cultivated!

  The new neighbor looked a little startled too but held open the door for them while the group of helpers moved past her with boxes and furniture.

  Sophie was the last one to remain outside.

  The neighbor looked at her expectantly, and with a sigh, Sophie followed the others.

  CHAPTER 4

  GRACE PUT DOWN a potted plant in the only corner of the living room that was free of moving boxes. When she turned to make the trip downstairs again, she realized Sophie Matheson was lingering in the doorway.

  Among all the jeans-and T-shirt-clad moving helpers Sophie looked out of place in her elegant slacks and expensive blouse. Tim, Jamie, and Ray’s four daughters were running around the still mostly empty apartment, and the adults were busy assembling furniture or carrying moving boxes up the stairs. Everyone knew his or her place and task. Everyone but Sophie Matheson.

  Grace walked up to her. “Mrs. Matheson,” she said, “why don’t you come with me and give me a hand in the kitchen?”

  Kade’s mother seemed more than happy to escape the chaos in the living room and followed her willingly.

  Grace began to unpack various cold beverages, coffee, and paper plates they would need later.

  Sophie stood by and watched, clearly not used to doing much in the kitchen. She glanced into the living room, where her daughter and Del were struggling to put Dawn’s bookcase back together. Del handed Kade a screwdriver and said something that made both of them laugh.

  “She’s a good woman,” Grace said.

  “Kadence?” Sophie asked distractedly, still watching Kade and Del.

  Grace smiled. “Kade too, yes, but I meant Del.”

  Sophie turned back around. “I’m sure she is,” she said diplomatically.

  Grace heard what she didn’t say. “But?” she prompted.

  “Well… I just don’t understand why Kadence would… She is not… My daughter isn’t…”

  “Gay?” Grace helpfully supplied, and when she saw Sophie flinch, she decided to answer her own question. “No, technically she isn’t. Bisexual would probably be a better description. But that doesn’t mean she can just choose to stick with men, marry, and make you a happy grandmother. She can’t choose who she falls in love with.”

  “I’m not talking about love,” Sophie protested.

  Grace smiled. Sophie was going through all the stages of denial, and Grace knew them only too well. She had experienced them firsthand when she had first learned about Dawn’s relationship with Maggie. “No? Look at them.” She pointed at Del and Kade.

  Slowly, Sophie turned and watched as Kade held one of Del’s hands in both of her own, cradling it tenderly while she tried to remove a splinter from Del’s finger. “I’m Kadence’s mother. I’d know if she was… gay,” Sophie labored to utter the word, short as it was. “This is just a phase. People don’t just turn gay overnight!”

  “No, they don’t. I know it’s not my place to say this, and you should really talk to Kade about it, but I suspect Kade has known she’s attracted to women for a long time. She just never wanted to admit it to herself - and certainly not to you,” Grace said frankly.

  “You don’t even have the faintest idea!” Sophie cried. The iron self-control slipped for a moment as she stared at Grace, obviously bewildered that a stranger was interfering with family matters. “You don’t know how it feels to see your own flesh and blood descend into…” She trailed off, probably searching for a word that could describe the awfulness of the situation.

  Grace had no intention of letting Sophie get away with this self-pitying, homophobic attitude. “Yes,” she said with determination, “I have more than just a faint idea. Do you think you’re the only mother of a gay child?” She wanted to tell Sophie to get over herself but stopped just in time. If she wanted Sophie to listen, she had to keep this polite. “Dawn is my daughter.”

  Sophie’s stare told her that she had guessed right - Sophie hadn’t even known who she was when she had pulled her into the kitchen.

  “I said all the same things about Dawn just a few years ago,” Grace said. “I told her it was just a phase, she was confused or lonely, or had been hurt by men one too many times. As you can see,” she pointed at Dawn, at Aiden, and at the whole apartment, “I was wrong.”

  Sophie looked at her in astonishment. “How can you be so calm about it? Didn’t you ever dream of a big wedding, a good husband, and children for your daughter?”

  “What I dreamed about doesn’t matter,” Grace answered. “Dawn will have a commitment ceremony, a good wife, and she can still have children.” It had taken years, but she could finally say it without any feelings of disappointment, guilt, or resentment.

  Sophie was still shaking her head.

  If she were a child, she’d be covering her ears, crying “la la la la la, I can’t hear you.” She doesn’t want to listen. “Dawn already had the big wedding and the husband,” Grace said. “It only made her unhappy. How can I wish for something for my daughter that will make her unhappy?”

  “You don’t think it would be better for your daughter if she were… normal?” Sophie asked with a frown.

  “Normal?” Grace echoed. “Believe me, Dawn and Aiden are more normal than most of the heterosexual couples I know.”

  Sophie still didn’t look convinced. She ran manicured fingers through her perfectly coiffed hair. “I don’t know. My parents taught me that it’s wrong, abnormal… unnatural.”

  “Even parents make mistakes,” Grace said and smiled meaningfully. “When Dawn told me she was gay, I thought it was a catastrophe… the end of the world. I got all tangled up in ifs, buts, and whys - until Del finally helped me to understand that it doesn’t matter, that nothing matters except for the fact that I love my daughter. As a mother, it’s not my job to judge my daughter but to support her.”

  “Excuse me,” Sophie said and stiffly strode into the living room.

  * * *

  “Mom?” Dawn asked when she saw her mother standing stock-still in the kitchen. “Everything okay? Do you need help?”

  Grace jerked and forced a smile. “Oh, no, I can manage unpacking a few beverages on my own. Thanks,
sweetie.”

  “I thought Mrs. Matheson was helping you?” Dawn had seen Kade’s mother head into the kitchen, but now there was no trace of Sophie.

  “Not a lot of help there. I have a feeling Mrs. Matheson only finds her way into the kitchen to compliment the cook.” Grace chuckled, but Dawn could tell that she was thinking about something else.

  Dawn covered Grace’s hand with her own. “You didn’t have a fight with her, did you?” She was a little worried about Kade’s mother, who was clearly uncomfortable with Kade’s friends.

  Grace snorted. “It’s hard to fight with someone who’s too aristocratic to show any emotion. But I think I upset her a little when I gave her ‘the talk.’” She formed quotation marks in the air and grinned sheepishly.

  “‘The talk’?” The term made Dawn smile. “You’re not talking about ‘the birds and the bees’ talk, right?”

  “No. More like ‘the bees and the bees’ talk.”

  Dawn stared at her mother. “You didn’t make her unpack the moving box with The Lesbian Kama Sutra, did you?”

  Grace didn’t even blink. “You don’t own that book,” she said. “I know because I packed all of your books.”

  “All right. So what kind of talk did you give her?” Dawn asked.

  “The ‘get over yourself and support your gay daughter’ talk Del gave me five years ago and then again when you met Aiden,” Grace said. “I perfected it when you came out to your grandmother this year, and I thought I was ready to go on tour with it, but it didn’t work so well on Mrs. Matheson.”

  Sometimes, Dawn couldn’t believe the progress her mother had made. Less than a year ago, Grace had still hoped that Dawn’s next relationship would be with a man and had struggled to accept her relationship with Aiden. And now she’s giving a talk to Kade’s mother! “What did she say?” she asked.

  “The usual.” Grace shrugged. “She wants the big wedding and the son-in-law.”

  Dawn felt a tiny stab of guilt. “I know after losing Brian, you were looking forward to having a son-in-law too,” she murmured.

  Grace didn’t even try to deny it. “Yes, I did. But when I had one, I realized that he always remained a stranger in some ways. Aiden, on the other hand, goes jogging with Del every week; Jamie and Tim adore her, and just last week, she brought me dinner when I had to pull that double shift.”

  “She did?” Aiden had never told her that.

  Grace chuckled. “It was Chinese takeout, but still, it’s the thought that counts.”

  Dawn glanced over to Aiden, who was just tackling the new CD rack with her cordless screwdriver. Dawn wanted to stride over to her and kiss her but decided it could wait.

  “I never thought I’d one day have a second daughter-in-law, but now that I have one, I’m pretty happy with it,” Grace said.

  Her mother had told her something very similar just an hour ago, but Dawn was speechless anyway. She swallowed, and then cleared her throat. “You really should go on tour with this talk.”

  CHAPTER 5

  SOPHIE HAD a headache. She rubbed her temples and stepped into the hallway.

  A toddler raced around the corner, screeching and laughing as a girl with dreadlocks chased him.

  Sophie’s temples pounded as she quickly sidestepped them to avoid a collision.

  The boy didn’t even notice that he had almost run into Sophie.

  Her headache was close to turning into a full-fledged migraine. Sophie retreated to the bathroom. Someone had unhinged the door, probably to give them more space to navigate with the furniture, but she was thankful for the momentary retreat anyway.

  Through the doorframe, she glanced into the living room and shook her aching head as the little boy collided with the older Kinsley woman on his wild chase around the apartment. Neither her nanny nor I would have allowed Kadence to do that when she was that age! Running in the house had been strictly forbidden.

  Grace Kinsley, however, didn’t scold the boy. Laughing, she bent down and began to tickle him. When the boy squealed and ran away, Grace straightened and said something to her daughter next to her that caused the younger woman to let out an outraged “Mom!” and give her a playful slap on the arm.

  For a moment, Sophie thought the interaction between mother and daughter disrespectful, but then both Kinsley women laughed and hugged each other.

  Sophie knew Kadence would have never done either. She couldn’t remember the last full-body hug she had gotten from her own daughter, and she couldn’t even say when they had last laughed with each other.

  She hadn’t allowed herself to dwell on it, but Sophie knew she didn’t have the best of relationships with her daughter. We’ve become so estranged from each other that I only learned about her… about that lesbian phase when I found her kissing a woman, for God’s sake! I never should have let it come to that. Still, she didn’t know what to do about it. She knew she couldn’t try to emulate the relationship Grace Kinsley had with her daughter. Neither Kadence nor I would feel comfortable with that.

  Kadence’s laughter echoed through the still mostly empty apartment.

  At the sound, Sophie looked up.

  Kadence was kneeling on the floor, not caring if her pants became dirty.

  Well, there’s not much to ruin anyway. Sophie eyed the worn blue jeans. She hadn’t even known Kadence possessed a pair.

  She watched as Kadence bent over a shelf board, her slender fingers wrapped around a screwdriver. Delicia Vasquez knelt next to her and took hold of the shelf, so that Kadence now had both hands free for the screw and the screwdriver. With competent movements, Kadence fastened the screw.

  Sophie looked at the other young women in the room. The friendly Dawn Kinsley, who was joking with Grace; a slender brunette who was patiently showing a maybe ten-year-old girl how to fold the empty moving boxes, and the intense Aiden Carlisle, who was lifting the top of a large cabinet onto its base with the help of a plump woman whom Sophie had never seen before.

  She realized that her screwdriver-wielding daughter seemed to fit right in. Kadence appeared more comfortable in this overly relaxed atmosphere than Sophie had ever seen her.

  Then her gaze fell on Delicia Vasquez and the way her shoulders were touching Kadence’s while they knelt next to each other. I do want her to feel comfortable and have friends but not this. Why does it have to be this?

  * * *

  “That shelf isn’t straight,” Aiden said.

  Kade turned away from the newly hung shelf and glared at her. “It’s perfectly straight.”

  “No, it’s not,” Aiden insisted.

  Kade narrowed her eyes at Aiden. Sometimes she wished for the old times when she had still been known as the “ice queen” and none of her detectives had ever dared to question her judgment. “Del? Tell her the shelf is straight.”

  Del glanced from her to the shelf, and then to Aiden. “Um…”

  “Told you so,” Aiden said with a grin.

  “Give me a level,” Kade demanded.

  Aiden searched through her toolbox. “I don’t have one.” She turned to her partner. “Ray? Do you have a level?”

  “No.” He glanced at them. “Is there a problem with the shelf?”

  “The shelf is fine,” Kade said.

  Evan stepped closer. “I could drive over to the hardware store and get a level.”

  Aiden gave her a sisterly pat on the shoulder. “Nice try.”

  “What?” Evan tried her most innocent expression - which wasn’t very convincing.

  “You don’t have your fifty hours of supervised driving yet, and you think I’ll just hand over my car for you to take it out on your own?” Aiden shook her head. “Forget it. Not without supervision.”

  “I can go with her,” Laurie offered.

  Aiden gave her a gentler version of the pat Evan had received. “I meant adult supervision.”

  “I’ll go with them,” Sophie offered unexpectedly.

  Kade stared at her mother. Then she understood. Sophi
e was taking the first available opportunity to escape the situation. At the same time, she made sure that her granddaughter, sole heir of the Matheson family, wasn’t left alone with her lesbian girlfriend. As glad as she would be to be without her mother’s disapproving glances for a while, she felt bad for Laurie and Evan. “I can go too,” she said.

  “No,” Aiden said. “I need you to explain that color-coding system you made Dawn use again. I need a dish towel, and I have no idea where in these innumerable moving boxes they could be.”

  Evan shot her half sister a less than friendly glance, obviously not pleased with having Sophie for a chaperone. “Keys,” she demanded.

  * * *

  “Oh, no, you take the backseat,” Sophie Matheson said when Laurie reached out to open the passenger side door. “I’ll sit next to your… friend.”

  Evan rolled her eyes. What does she think I’ll do to Laurie if she lets her sit next to me? She got into the car and fumbled with the keys for a moment before she got them into the ignition.

  “Are you sure you should drive?” Sophie asked her. “We could have your sister -“

  “No,” Evan growled, angry at herself for showing any sign of nervousness. It wasn’t the driving that was making her nervous; it was having Laurie’s grandmother sit next to her. She could practically feel Sophie’s disapproval every time she came within a five-foot radius of Laurie.

  She started Aiden’s car and pulled out onto the road, taking care not to exceed the speed limit. Sophie Matheson seemed to be a stickler for rules. This is no fun. Hope the old battle-axe goes back to wherever she came from soon!

  Evan had been to the hardware store with Aiden before, so she found the store and the aisle with the levels in record time. She didn’t plan on spending one second more than absolutely necessary in the company of Laurie’s grandmother.

  “Evan! Wait a minute,” Laurie called on the way back to the car. She gestured at an old man who was struggling to heave a big sack of potting compost into the trunk of his car.

  Evan sighed. This was typical for Laurie. She was the nice girl next door who helped old ladies across the road and climbed on trees to get down a child’s Frisbee.