by Morgan Henry
Lisa tried again. “Hanna, please. I don’t want you to suffer in silence. Surely you can talk about it.”
“There’s no point,” Hanna said, her voice hoarse with tears held back.
“The point is, friends are there to share burdens with,” Lisa said patiently. “And you are carrying too much on your own right now. Let me help, or at least let Karen help.”
“Please, Lisa,” Hanna begged, “leave it for now. I just can’t.”
Lisa looked at her for another long minute. “All right,” she finally said, “but I’m not going to let you go on like this for very long.”
Hanna nodded at her friend and fled.
The week went on in a similar fashion. Hanna was able to lose herself in work and forget for a while. She would go home, do her chores, and then cuddle Tink until she fell into a restless sleep that didn’t do her much good.
Thursday night, she debated on whether to show up for ball or not. She finally went, not willing to have the team forfeit because she was too chicken to show up. Her plan was to be polite to Kent and Carter, but not allow them to engage her in any kind of real conversation.
She arrived at the last minute before the game was scheduled to start. She nodded hello to everyone and went and took her place in the outfield without speaking. When the inning was over, she went to the bench. Kent and Carter sat down on either side of her.
“Well,” said Kent evenly. “Are you going to talk to us at all?”
Hanna stayed silent for a minute, trying to decide what to say. Kent and Carter waited her out.
“I can’t talk about all of this during the game,” she finally said softly.
“But you’ll talk later?” asked Carter.
Hanna didn’t speak for a while again. “I don’t know.”
“So we don’t deserve an explanation as to why you cut us off?” asked Kent, sounding hurt and angry. It was somehow worse because he didn’t raise his voice. “I never thought you were that…” he trailed off.
Hanna choked back more tears. In her mind she filled in the blank—cowardly, cruel, cold, mean. They all applied.
She got through the game. She didn’t hit a single ball, didn’t know the score, and couldn’t remember a single play. She barely spoke to anyone and didn’t talk to Kent and Carter again. She didn’t go for the aftergame socializing, just walked home, alone.
* * * *
Kent was not a happy man. He stared at the patio over the rail of the deck, looking at all the flowers Hanna had planted. They were thriving. He and Carter had been carefully following her instructions on their care. The rest of his family was in the dining room, talking over more wedding stuff. As much as he loved his sister, he couldn’t get into it today.
He had watched Hanna leave the ball game the other night like a woman who was defeated by the world. She was not the confident woman who looked after the clinic and shaped the gardens around her home. She was not the playful sex kitten whose curves and enthusiasm he loved so well. She looked like she had lost her last friend in the world. He was upset she was hurting, and really, really angry that she wouldn’t talk to him or Carter. He was angry that he had been wrong about her, too.
He didn’t know what had gone on Saturday with her parents, only that that was the start of all this shit. He had a feeling they had made her think that, for whatever reason, she couldn’t see them anymore. He sure as hell wasn’t buying into any reason of theirs, though. It didn’t matter what their stupid reason was, she should still talk to them.
He sighed and pushed himself off the railing. He really should head into the house and get on board with Jen’s plans. He was being a self-centered jerk, he admonished himself, wallowing in his own misery. Jen deserved a wonderful wedding, no matter what his personal problems were.
He walked into the house. Carter, Jen, Tim, and his mother and father were seated around the table. Jen had lists and drawings scattered over the surface. He joined them and tried to pick up the thread of conversation.
“So, the tent will be set up Friday and the tables, chairs, and stuff delivered then as well,” Jen was saying. “Tim’s friend will do the music and will set up Saturday afternoon. The photographer will be here at ten on Saturday to start taking pictures, so we’ll get most of them done early. The tables and stuff will be set up early Saturday, too, and the florist will deliver all the flowers here and do the rest of the decorating then. The caterers will deliver the food in the afternoon, but we’ll have to set it out for dinner and do the barbecuing. Mom’s friends will set out the buffet table, and I was hoping that you two and Hanna could handle the grill?” She looked at Kent and Carter.
“Sure,” responded Carter. “We’ll do it, but don’t count on Hanna.”
There was stunned silence around the table. Finally Mary spoke. “I’m so sorry. We didn’t realize you had broken up.”
Kent’s chest felt tight. It was painful to think that Hanna wouldn’t be in their home anymore. It was worse that she wouldn’t talk to them to explain why.
“Well,” he said, trying unsuccessfully to keep the bitterness from his voice. “We didn’t realize it either until she texted us to say she couldn’t see us anymore.” He couldn’t stand the looks of pity from his family, so he got up and went into the study.
He attempted to do some work online but didn’t get anywhere. A short while later he heard the door as their family left. He wandered back out into the main room to find his parents still there. They had moved to the living area with Carter.
“I wonder what happened,” his mother was saying. “From what I know of Hanna, it seems really odd that she would just text you and say ‘good-bye.’”
“Well, she wouldn’t talk to us when we saw her Thursday either,” Carter said.
“What happened between Saturday morning and afternoon?” asked Cliff.
Carter looked at Kent, as if asking him whether to tell the whole story. Kent shrugged. He didn’t care if Carter talked, but he wasn’t going to.
Carter gave their parents a brief version of what happened Saturday morning, ending with, “When she left, she said her parents would likely just need some time.”
“Maybe that’s all she needs, is some time,” said Mary hopefully.
“I don’t know,” said Carter. “She looks terrible, like she’s lost her last friend.”
“Well, that’s her choice,” Kent said angrily. “We were ready to talk to her on Saturday and help her through whatever had gone on, but she obviously felt we weren’t worth it. If she’s willing to give up so easily, then she’s not worth our time.”
Kent ignored the gasps from the family as he got up and left. He was so angry with Hanna he couldn’t stand himself. She obviously decided they weren’t worth the effort of making an attempt to solve whatever problem she had encountered. He was disappointed in her. He thought she was stronger than that. He had admired her for being able to listen to others and consider their thoughts and perspective. He thought she would at least listen to their response to whatever crap her parents had spewed at her. Well screw her. I don’t need a woman who will run if someone says “boo” to her.
Chapter 24
Carter heard Kent’s bedroom door shut. He knew his brother was hurting, and that hurt was expressing itself as anger.
“So what are you going to do?” Mary asked her son softly.
The three of them, Carter, Mary, and Cliff, were still in the living room. “I don’t know yet,” he replied. “I’m not quite willing to give up on her, but I think Kent has written her off.”
“Will you choose to move forward with Hanna without Kent?” his father asked.
“That’s difficult to answer. We’ve wanted a ménage for a long time. I can’t see a future without Kent in it. But I have a hard time seeing him forgive Hanna, after what happened with Lena. At the same time, I love Hanna and don’t want to give her up.” Carter knew he was going to have to try to make peace because he couldn’t pick one of them over the other.
/> “Kent was pretty depressed after the mess with Lena. I can’t imagine how he’s going to be over Hanna.” Mary was clearly worried.
“I’m not giving up entirely, yet. But I don’t know how to get Hanna to talk to me.” Carter guessed she would have to start by talking to him alone, since it looked like Kent was going to sulk.
“Do you want me to try to talk to her?” Mary asked.
“No. Well, maybe. I appreciate the offer, but I want to try on my own for a bit. You know,” he smiled at his mother, “before I call in the big guns.”
Cliff gave a little chuckle. “She can be determined, can’t she?”
Mary shot Cliff a slightly irritated look as she rose to leave. “Don’t forget we love you,” she said, hugging Carter. “And tell your brother I said that I love him, too, but he needs to smarten up.”
Carter saw his parents out, then made himself a coffee and sat on the deck. How was he going to get Hanna to talk to them and give them a second chance? How was he going to get Kent to give Hanna another chance?
He thought back to four years ago when the Lena disaster happened. Kent had met Lena through an acquaintance at work. She and Kent had dated a few times, and Kent fell for her hard. She certainly was beautiful, tall, and slender with long black hair. She was always dressed well and accentuated her legs with stilettos every chance she had. She spoke softly and seemed to be the perfect quiet and polite admin assistant at all times. When Carter met her, he found her to be pretty but bland. He was more than willing to get to know her, though, since Kent was convinced she would be a perfect woman for their trio.
Kent had made sure she was introduced to Carter fairly soon in their relationship. He had kept to their agreement of not having sex with a woman they wanted a ménage with until she was aware of the fact they wanted a long-term ménage. Lena had surprised Carter by flirting with him the first time they were introduced. At the time, he thought it was because Kent had told her about their desire for a ménage. He happily flirted back.
They had dinner as a trio a couple of times and progressed into a sexual relationship. Carter had thought things were moving ahead nicely. He didn’t have the same deep desire for Lena as Kent, but thought she had potential.
Then they took her to meet their parents. That did not go well. Apparently, she wasn’t about to enter publicly into a “perverted little sex triangle,” her words, with the two of them. She was fine with marrying one brother, but was not going to do anything but casually fuck the other.
Kent had been devastated. Not so much about the tirade in front of their parents. It became apparent to all witnesses that Lena’s cheese had slid off her cracker. No, he was upset that he had fallen for a woman who turned out to be so clearly wrong for them. And Carter suspected that her revulsion about a permanent ménage hurt him deeply as well. Kent had been depressed for months, and it took a long time for him to date again. He wouldn’t date at all without Carter, stating that it was obvious he wasn’t capable of picking out the right one. He also made a policy that if a woman wouldn’t see both of them from the start, he wouldn’t bother with her. He had always been the quieter brother, but he had been even more introverted after Lena.
So, Hanna’s mother’s revulsion of a ménage and Hanna’s subsequent rejection would have hit Kent really hard. It was going to take a lot to get Kent to change his mind and give her a second chance.
It was several hours later when Kent came out of isolation. Carter figured hunger had finally driven him back to the world. He heard Kent enter the kitchen and check out the fridge.
Carter got up and headed to the kitchen himself. He perched on a stool at the counter and waited. Kent rattled around and got out the fixings for a sandwich. He lifted an inquiring brow at Carter, who nodded. Kent made two huge sandwiches and shoved one at Carter.
They ate in silence. When his sandwich was gone, Kent said, “I miss her.”
“I do, too,” Carter replied.
“I’m angry. I don’t want to forgive her.”
“I know.” Carter paused for a moment before adding, “I’m hurt. And worried.”
“You’re a better man than me, then.”
“No. You’re hurt and worried, too. You’re just having a harder time getting past the anger part.”
“I don’t think I’ll get past it.” With those words, Kent retreated back downstairs.
Chapter 25
Lisa and Cailynn finally cornered Hanna after work on Wednesday. They actually followed her home and invaded her house. About two minutes later, Karen showed up and brought pizza. The women sat Hanna down around the dining table and started in on the food.
“You may as well tell us what’s going on,” Lisa started. “We’re not giving up on you.”
“Shouldn’t you be home with your men?” Hanna knew that sounded really bitchy, but a part of her resented being cornered.
“Frankly, they’re worried about you, and Carter, and Kent, too,” Cailynn said gently.
Hanna sighed. She really didn’t want everyone getting in a flap over her personal problems, and said as much to the women.
“Suck it up, buttercup,” were Lisa’s comforting words. “Friends do that for each other. They also help each other. You’ve certainly helped me and Karen over the years. So speak.”
Hanna caved. She knew her friends weren’t going to give up, and, if she were honest, she was at the point where she did need to share.
“My Mom walked in on Kent, Carter, and I a couple weekends ago. We were all asleep in the living room, together and naked. She flipped. Later when we talked she told me that if I continued to see them, Mom and Dad would disown me.” Hanna’s voice broke on the last few words.
Lisa gasped. Her mouth hung open, and for once, no words came out. Karen and Cailynn were in similar states.
Hanna cringed. “I know. It’s bad. I can’t give up my family, but I’ve hurt Kent and Carter so much.”
“Have you told them this?” Karen asked.
“No. Mom insisted I break off all contact with them immediately. My Dad won’t even speak to me right now.” Hanna’s heart broke all over again just saying that out loud.
“Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that. My mom and I don’t have a close relationship, so I wouldn’t give up Dan and Andrew even if she tried to disown me. I can’t imagine having to choose,” Cailynn confessed, sympathy in her voice.
“I think the four of us know there will always be people who don’t understand and will judge, but we don’t expect the response from our own family to be so dramatic,” Karen added. “I know your mom can be a little, um, harsh, but I didn’t expect your dad to actually stop talking to you.”
“Neither did I,” Hanna said in a small voice.
“But you love Kent and Carter, don’t you?” asked Lisa.
“Yeah, I do,” Hanna admitted, tears welling in her eyes. “I really fell for them. I never told them, but I could see us together for the long haul, you know?”
“Then why are you giving up so easily?” questioned Karen.
“What do you mean? I can’t give up my family,” Hanna cried.
“Look, I know I’m new to this, but hear me out,” Cailynn started. “When I came here, I knew I needed to make my own happiness and live my own life. I was determined to rely on myself. Andrew and Dan weren’t what I was looking for, but God, or fate, or karma, or whatever you believe in, put them in my lap. When they asked me to move in with them, I had to question what was more important in my life—independence and what everyone else thought, or my future with two men who love me? It seems to me, you have to make a choice, too. Cave to what your parents want and be miserable, or take charge of your own happiness and go with the brothers. Cause it seems to me, you’re choosing your parents right now, and you’re miserable.”
“But family is everything,” Hanna protested.
“I don’t know about that,” Karen mused. “There are plenty of people who have had to put some distance between themselve
s and family to find peace and happiness. My uncle has addiction issues and it isn’t okay to have him around when he’s using. And we all know of situations where a family wouldn’t accept someone’s sexual orientation so they left so they could be themselves.”
Hanna considered all her friends had to say. Part of her could see some truth in what they were saying. A bigger part was terrified of losing her parents, though.
“You need a plan,” said Lisa.
“What?” asked Hanna.
“You need to figure out what’s going to happen next. You are going to have to talk to Carter and Kent, and you’re going to have to have a more rational conversation with your parents.” Lisa did love to plan out people’s lives.
Hanna started to protest.
“Nope, she’s right,” agreed Karen. “Carter and Kent deserve to hear from you what’s happened. And you know it. You need to tell them the whole story about why it’s so hard to consider ditching your family, and that you really do love them.”
Hanna couldn’t argue with that.
“And you need to have a more rational conversation with your parents,” Cailynn added.
“Yeah, and your Dad needs to be there. You need to hear from him what’s really going on in his head, not just your Mom’s version,” Lisa added.
“I know you’re right, but what if Kent and Carter won’t talk to me?” Hanna asked. “I haven’t heard from them lately.”
“We’ll all gang up on them after ball tomorrow,” Lisa said firmly.
Hanna had no trouble believing Lisa would tie the brothers up and force them to listen if she had to. Lisa would also get Craig and Mike to participate in said tying up if needed. She started to feel just a tiny bit better.
* * * *
Hanna was really nervous as she walked to the last ball game of the season. She hoped that Kent and Carter would listen to her. She hoped she would be able to make her voice work and speak to them.
