by A. D. Ellis
“Shhhh, I got you. Shhhh.” Kade soothed.
He held me, rocking gently, for several minutes until my sobs calmed.
“I’m sorry.” My whisper was ragged, my throat raw with tears.
“Cam, you have nothing to be sorry for. Ever.” Kade’s words gave me strength.
We sat quietly for a few more moments while I attempted to gather myself.
“Want to talk about it?” Kade asked.
I huffed, my breath still shaky. “It’s stupid.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
I held up the wrinkled shirt I’d been holding. “Declan lost a button from his shirt.”
Kade waited patiently for me to continue.
“Deacon was the one who always took care of buttons and anything to do with sewing.” I laughed bitterly. “A fucking button made me sob like a baby.”
Kade’s smile was sad. “That’s not stupid. You’re surrounded by things every single day that make you think of Deacon. There’s no way around it.”
“It’s not like I want to forget him, but it would be nice not to be brought to fucking tears every damn time I see something that makes me think of him.” I was sad, but I was also angry.
“I’m sorry,” Kade whispered.
I turned in Kade’s arms, my breath catching in my throat when our eyes met.
When his thumbs reached up to gently swipe the remaining wetness from my cheeks, I lost it. Launching myself forward, wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him.
Kade’s lips were still against mine for a moment, but with a groan he pulled me even closer and took over the kiss.
For the time being, I dropped the offending buttonless shirt to the ground and pulled Kade down to the bed. My hands roamed under his shirt, enjoying the hollow of his back just above his ass. Rocking my hips against his, I moaned and moved so that his lips could trail kisses down my neck.
“Hey, is this okay? Are you okay?” Kade pulled back abruptly to look into my eyes.
“I’m fine and this is more than okay.” I tried to pull him back into a kiss.
“No, I mean, you were really upset. I don’t want to take advantage of you or anything.” Kade protested.
“Just make me forget,” I said, my voice breaking on the words.
Maybe it was a terrible idea. Maybe we’d both regret it later.
But, at that moment, all I wanted was to forget the world around me while wrapped in Kade’s arms.
Kade watched me closely for a second before giving in to the lust that surrounded us. His lips were soft against mine, gentle, as if he was testing how far he should go. Something between us must have given him the green light because he deepened the kiss, rolling so that I was under him. His glorious hot, hard body pinned me to the bed, and I lost myself in the sensation.
I spread my legs to allow Kade’s hips to nestle against mine. Thrusting up from the mattress, I shivered when our dicks pressed firmly together.
Kade stopped. Pulling away slightly, breathing heavily, he held himself up on his elbows. “Fuck, I’ve been dreaming of being with a man since before I even knew it was what I wanted. And, I’ve been dreaming of touching you, kissing you, holding you since I allowed the thoughts to the front of my mind.”
“But?”
Kade flushed, looking bashful. “I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing now that I have you here.”
I laughed. “We won’t get to anything too difficult tonight. Just do what feels good. If you like it done to you, I’ll probably like it done to me.” Bucking my hips, I pushed him until he rolled to his back.
Pulling me with him, Kade held my hips and smiled. “Will you teach me?” he asked roughly.
My heart stopped for a beat before flip-flopping in my chest. Placing my hands on his chest, I leaned in to kiss him. “Of course.”
Pulling my shirt over my head, I tossed it to the ground before doing the same with Kade’s shirt. Maneuvering myself down his legs, I reached for the button of his jeans. As I pulled his jeans down his long, lean legs, I rolled from the bed to remove my own pants.
Climbing back up his body, I kissed him as our hot cocks rubbed together through only the barest of cloth. Kade hissed and rolled his head back as his hips thrust up to meet mine.
“Fuck, that feels good,” he said.
“What do you want?”
For a moment, I thought Kade was going to play as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. But, after only a brief hesitation, he gripped my waist in one hand and pulled on my neck with the other to bring me close for a hot, wet kiss.
“I want to see your mouth on my cock.” Kade’s ragged whisper traveled straight to my dick.
Hooking my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, I pulled them down slowly, watching as Kade’s hard length bobbed against his stomach. His cock was amazing, and I swallowed thickly in anticipation of tasting him.
Kneeling between Kade’s legs, I bent to take him in my mouth. Kade’s hips jerked as he hissed at the contact, ramming his cock deep in my throat.
“Easy,” I said. “I’d rather not choke on this monster just yet.”
“Sorry,” Kade ground out between clenched teeth.
I accepted his apology by taking him deep into my mouth again. Tonguing over his velvety skin, sucking, licking, and all but swallowing his length, I worked Kade over.
“Fuck, Cam,” Kade gasped as he watched me work his cock.
I was possibly going overboard in a porn-star-type way, but watching Kade as he watched me suck his cock was erotic. Knowing I was the first man to pleasure Kade in that way was a thought that caught hard in my chest.
“Shit, Cam, I’m going to come way too quick if you keep doing that,” Kade said as he tried to pull me from his cock.
“So come.”
“I don’t want to yet.” Kade complained.
“We’ve got time later for other things. I want to see you come.” I took his cock back in my mouth. Playing with his balls, I cupped them before trailing a finger to his ass. Slicking my finger in my mouth quickly, I returned to massage the sensitive area just beyond his sac.
I felt Kade’s body tense. I heard his breathing become faster. And his balls drew up in my hand as I continued to suck his cock. Humming around his length, I reached to grip him in my hand and pump his cock until Kade was spewing white ropes upon his stomach and chest.
Kade roared my name as he came. Trailing my tongue through his release, I made my way up to his mouth. Capturing his lips in mine, I thrust my tongue into his mouth.
Pulling back abruptly, I questioned, “Sorry, are you okay with kissing after I’ve had your cock in my mouth?”
In answer to my question, Kade groaned and pulled my mouth back to his. The taste of Kade’s mouth mixing with the taste of his cock was almost too much to take. I rocked myself against him, relishing the friction of his skin against my dick.
“Can I touch you?” Kade asked.
“God, yes. Please.” I choked out.
Pushing my boxers down, Kade moved us so I was on my back.
Spread out, completely on display in front of Kade, I started to feel self-conscious. No one had seen me completely naked for several years, and even then it was only my husband. What if Kade didn’t like what he saw[PC51]?
“Damn,” Kade said. “You’re even better than I’d imagined.” He ran his hands along my body, my legs, my stomach, my chest. “I feel like I could touch you forever.”
“I have no problem with that.” Reaching for my cock, I started to pump myself.
“Can I do that?” Kade asked.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d want to.”
As if answering my doubt, Kade knocked my hand out of the way and grasped my cock in his fist. Thumbing through precum, he rubbed the liquid around gently. “I may be terrible at this.”
“I doubt it,” I answered, desperate for him to pump me or suck me.
Kade lowered himself, licking tentatively at my swollen shaft. He may have been i
nexperienced at sucking cock, but Kade was a natural. What he lacked in finesse, he made up for in enthusiasm. Before long, I was coming all over myself like a virgin getting his first blowjob.
Kade watched in smug satisfaction and abject fascination. “Damn, that’s hot,” he whispered before laying down next to me and pulling me close. The sticky reminder of our passion was a gloppy mess gluing our stomachs together. We’d need a shower soon. But, for that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be held in Kade’s arms.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Kade was quiet.
I glanced up at him. “You okay? Regretting it already?” I asked, my heart plummeting.
“Not in the least.” Kade kissed the top of my head. “Just thinking how great that was and how right it all felt.” He ran a hand down my back. “What about you? Are you having regrets already?”
I smiled into his chest. “No. I was a bit worried about things being weird with us in the same bed as Deacon and I, but it wasn’t. I mean, I’m sure I could make it weird, but I don’t feel like I need to.” I trailed kisses along his skin. “And, you’re right, it was great and felt right.”
Kade held me for a moment, just letting the silence surround us. “I can put the button back on,” Kade said.
“Oh yeah?” I questioned.
“Yeah, my grandma taught me how to sew. I mean, I’m not able to make you a quilt or fashion the kids’ clothes, but I can put a button on.” Kade assured me. “I’ve got you.” Kade’s words teased, but I felt them to my soul.
Maybe Kade was what I needed to sew up more than just buttons. Maybe Kade was what Deacon was referring to when he said I’d know when it was time to move on[PC52].
~*~*~*~
After a quick shower with a lot more kissing and touching, we fell back into bed.
We held each other quietly for several minutes, until Kade spoke.
“I’m sorry I said that about the button.”
I pulled back to look at his face. “What do you mean?”
“When I said, ‘No worries, I can fix the button.’ I didn’t mean it like I could take Deacon’s place.” Kade frowned.
Leaning in to kiss him, I smiled against his mouth. “I didn’t take it that way at all. No one can replace Deacon.”
Kade looked as if I’d confirmed his worst thoughts.
“I mean, Deacon was Deacon. No one can be him. That doesn’t mean someone else can’t be as good or better, it just means that other person will be them, while Deacon will always be Deacon.” I huffed a breath, frustrated. “Does that even make sense?”
Kade smiled slightly. “Yeah, I think it does.”
I nestled into his chest, content for the moment to listen to the beat of his heart and feel the warmth of his skin against mine.
“Are we making a mistake with this?” I asked in a strangled whisper.
Kade tensed, and I could hear the frown in his words. “What do you mean? Do you feel like what happened was a mistake?”
Pulling back, I propped up on an elbow. “I don’t know. It was wonderful.”
“But?” Kade’s question was full of emotion.
“But what if I’m just lonely and horny? What if you’re just playing out curiosities?” I asked, genuinely wondering if we had jumped too quickly.
“Of course you’re lonely. We both are. And we’re definitely both horny.” Kade ran a hand down my side, cupping my bare ass and pulling me closer to rock his semi-hard cock. “And, yes, I’m curious. But, I’ve been curious my whole life. I’ve always been able or chosen to push the curiosity to the back of my mind. I had school and then Steph and then the boys, I didn’t act on the curiosity. But, the events that have led up to today allowed me to entertain those curiosities. I could have chosen to push them away, but with you I wanted to act on them. I don’t know that I would have done that with any other guy.”
“Not even Rob?” I asked, knowing I sounded truly jealous.
“Not even Rob.” Kade smiled. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“Just a little sad I wasn’t your first male kiss.” I shrugged, feeling silly.
“You’ll be my first male-on-male everything else.” Kade leaned in to kiss me. “And I’m looking very forward to everything else. You’re a good teacher.” He nipped at my lip.
“Everything? Like, explain everything.” I questioned.
“Rimming, edging, cock rings…” Kade’s words trailed off.
I raised an eyebrow. “Have you been studying up on things?” My cock grew hard thinking of what Kade was suggesting.
Kade blushed in an adorable way before admitting, “I have maybe been watching some gay porn.”
I couldn’t help the huge smile that filled my face.
“What?” Kade protested. “That shit is hot.”
“Indeed it is,” I said. “And I’ll be happy to teach you all of the ways of gay sex.”
Kade moved in to kiss me again. “I’ll be the best student ever, promise. I’ll do all my homework, be eager to learn, and do whatever my teacher tells me.”
“Got a little teacher-student kink streak in there, huh?”
“If you’re the teacher and I’m the student, then yes. Otherwise, definitely not.” Kade smiled.
I hesitated once again. “And you’re sure we’re not setting ourselves up for a crash and burn of epic proportions?”
“No one is sure of anything, Cam. Crash and burn could happen, but I’d like to think we’re too good of friends and the boys mean too much to each other for us to let it ruin what the six of us have. But, what if we’re setting ourselves up for something amazing? Something that brings us happiness and fulfillment in ways we didn’t even realize we were missing? What if that’s what we’re building up to?” Kade asked, gruffly.
“That sounds nice, I’d like to think that’s where we’ll end up.”
“There are no guarantees,” Kade said. “But we’re guaranteed to miss out on something wonderful if we pass on all the chances that seem scary.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Yeah?” Kade smiled. “Can we seal the deal with a kiss?”
“I think a kiss is a good place to start. But, my prize student probably needs to learn some more lessons. I think it’s time to be the teacher.” I said, feeling silly, but loving the heat that shone from Kade’s eyes.
“Damn, why the hell does that turn me on so much?” Kade growled.
“Because you’re a kinky fucker and didn’t even know it.” I laughed at Kade’s blush. “No worries, I think it’s adorable and hot as fuck.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. Like gold star hot. Now, I think our first lesson is going to be about numbers.”
Kade looked confused. “Numbers? I don’t get it.”
“Ah, young pupil, you will soon learn the magic of one specific number. Let me introduce you to the majestic sixty-nine.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I said it.
Kade threw his head back, laughing along with me. “Please, Mr. Lewis, teach me all about the awesomeness of the number sixty-nine.” His eyes darkened. “Will you paddle me if I’m a bad boy?”
We were joking about the kink, but an underlying current of arousal was with it as well.
“I’ll gladly spank your ass red if you get out of line.” I slapped Kade’s rump in demonstration.
“I may find myself wanting to get out of line quite often,” Kade said on a groan, rocking his cock into mine.
“Mmmm, sounds like a plan I can work with,” I said against his mouth before plunging my tongue in to taste and tease him.
Chapter 14
kade
I’d obviously died and gone to heaven. That would explain Cam rolling off me and positioning himself so his mouth was level with my cock.
I was not a stranger to the sixty-nine position, but experiencing it with Cam was brand new. His mouth sucked my dick deep, and I forgot to breathe. Cam’s hand caressed my hip before grabbing my ass and pulling me close enough th
at his nose bumped my balls.
Fighting against the fog clouding my brain as Cam traced his tongue up and down my dick, I came back to reality enough to realize Cam’s shaft was right in front of me. Swollen, throbbing, leaking, and mine for the taking.
Dipping my tongue into his slit, I licked slowly around his head before taking him deep in my mouth. Sucking Cam’s cock was better than even my best imaginings of giving a guy a blowjob.
But I wanted to see his face. Wanted to hold him against me.
I sat up, pulling him to face me. “I want to see you.”
Cam chuckled. “I’m right here.”
“No, I want to see you, watch you when we do stuff,” I said, licking into his mouth.
“I guess the sixty-nine lesson is over,” Cam teased.
I hauled him toward the head of the bed, tucking him under me. When Cam spread his legs to allow my hips between his, my heart caught in my chest. Looking down the length of our bodies, finding our dicks touching, both slick with precum, I shuddered at the beauty of us.
Sex was sex. Sex was good. I wasn’t sure I’d ever had truly bad sex. But, holding Cam in my arms, his body writhing against mine, I knew that no sex could ever compare with what I would have with him. Intimacy with Stephanie had been enjoyable. I had loved her. But, nothing we’d ever shared had ever felt as perfect and right as having Cam in my arms, his hot, slick skin against mine. “I know I said I wanted to do rimming and edging and all of that, but right now I sort of just want to kiss you and watch you come,” I whispered.
“That’s all?” Cam teased. “You don’t want to get off, too?”
“Well, duh. But, I want to watch you first.” I leaned in to kiss him while reaching for his cock. Pumping him in my fist, I continued kissing him, loving the taste of him on my tongue.
“We’re going to need another shower,” Cam said.
“We’re going to need multiple other showers if I have my way,” I whispered gruffly in his ear.
“Multiple?”
“Yep,” I said, popping the p. “Because after this, I’m hoping I can convince you to let me fuck you.”
Cam shuddered in my arms, groaning. “God, yes.”
“Yes, what?” I pumped his cock faster.
