“I’m sorry, Lila,” he said before turning and looking at me briefly. “I had matters to attend to and was late.”
“It’s okay. I’m fine.”
James took a deep breath and pulled the car over onto the side of the road. He grabbed my hand in his and said sincerely, “He shouldn’t have talked to you in that manner. I apologise on his behalf. Mark is… Mark has issues with our relationship. It’s nothing you need to be concerned with though.”
I nodded. “It’s okay. I get it.”
Do I?
I could see the pain spread across James’s face and I wished I had of just been ten minutes late and not be such a time conscious freak.
“Do me a favour?” I continued. “Can we just forget about it right now and enjoy the night?”
James looked at me for a few seconds before nodding his head and smiling. Bringing my hand to his mouth, he kissed it. “Deal.”
I tried my hardest to put on a happy face as we ordered our popcorn and drinks. I couldn’t even focus on the movie; instead, I picked away at the popcorn, deep in thought throughout the movie. All I kept thinking about was what Mark had said. I’d managed on more than one occasion to avoid the subject about James and my future together. Although James had never asked, it hadn’t stopped my brain from wondering to the thought, and every time I did, I quickly dismissed them.
How long could our relationship last? Was I just to grow old while James stayed immortal? He never stayed in one place very long, would I go with him? I would have to let go of the idea of ever having children and a normal kind of future. Not only that, our relationship had some kind of ripple effect, to what, I didn’t know, but it was enough to fuel Mark’s anger.
I was barely listening to James as we walked back to our car after the movie. When we reached the top level of the carpark after the movie, James grabbed my hand and turned me into him. He pushed the hair from my face and stroked my cheek.
“What can I do to make this better?” he soothed.
I shook my head and exhaled. “I can’t get what he said out of my mind.”
“I don’t want you to concern yourself with it. It’s nothing I can’t handle. Please,” he pleaded with me, “try not to think about it.”
I looked back and forth between his eyes, searching for something I knew I couldn’t find. I trusted James, but I could also see the concern in his eyes and not just for me, but he knew just as well as I that Mark was right.
I turned away and started digging through my bag for my car keys, completely forgetting they were in James’s pocket. While searching, however, I realised my phone wasn’t in my bag.
“Shit,” I said, “my phone must have fallen out of my bag in the cinema.”
“It’s okay,” James said, pulling the car keys out from his pocket and handing them to me. “I’ll go back and get it.”
“Are you sure? I can go.”
James nodded and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
I watched James walk down the stairs. When he was out of sight, I turned and walked towards my car. It was already late into the evening, and already my car was one of only a few in the whole car park.
My senses were shattered in apprehensiveness though, when one of the car park lights, just above where I was standing, smashed in an instant. Shards of glass fell. I covered my face with my arms.
Holding my hand to my heart, I whipped my head side to side, desperate to find a cause.
Just when I’d began to slow my breath, I watched in fear as every other light shattered in pieces, just like the first one, one after the other until I was left in darkness. The moon my only hope for light.
The hairs on my neck stood up. The sound of quiet murmurs filled my ears. My heart beat furiously out of my chest. I helplessly looked around with a sign of someone, but there was no one. The sound of deep voices grew louder and began to surround me.
Just when I thought I was alone, a man appeared from the shadows, walking towards me. I turned towards my car, only to see another man coming towards me. Then another, and another. Quickly, there was a group of men, all with one target in mind… me.
I had no escape. The only option was my car. So I went for it. Fumbling with the keys in my hand, I tried in desperation to find my remote control, only the trembling in my hand caused me to drop them to the ground.
The men laughed wickedly at my attempts of freedom, and as they drew near it became clearer that they were not men… at least they weren’t anymore. Their faces ripped to pieces as they spoke in tongues, a language I couldn’t comprehend.
I bent down quickly, grabbing the keys in my hand. I screamed in terror as a firm grip clasped onto my shoulder. Spinning on the spot to face my attacker, I pushed with all my strength, but to no avail.
“Shhhh, Lila,” James said, “it’s me.”
I scanned the car park but the men were gone. I hugged onto James tightly.
James pulled from my grasp and quickly unlocked the car. “We need to go.”
Opening the passenger door, he guided me into the seat. In a flash, he was in the driver’s seat and we were quickly on the motorway home.
James held my hand tightly in his.
You could see the sharp rise and fall of my chest as I tried my best to steady myself. “It was them again…Demons…” I said quietly. “Wasn’t it?”
James nodded slowly.
I took a deep breath and looked out the window. I didn’t know how fast James must have been driving, but we were quickly pulling into my driveway only moments later.
This time, I didn’t wait for him to open my door. I flung it open quickly and stepped outside. James and I were face to face, as I closed the car door behind me.
“I can usually sense when they are near, I shouldn’t have left you. I’m sorry,” James said, holding onto me tightly, as if he never wanted to let me go.
“You can’t always be with me, James,” I replied shaking my head. “Why do they keep coming after me, James? Is it because of us?”
James hesitated, “Yes.”
My eyes started to water. “Mark was right…”
What future is there for us? Am I meant to live in fear, always looking over my shoulder; worried demons will come after me…
“I don’t know all the details,” James said, “but there is talk among the Moirai that the demons have taken interest in our relationship. I didn’t believe it, not until just now.”
“So what does that mean? What do we do?”
“It means that my being with you puts a target directly on your back. They won’t stop, Lila. They are merciless, savage creatures. They believe they can get to me through you, and they’re right. I would do anything for you…” He closed his eyes and breathed, “I can’t think like that. I’m not meant to think that like. I thought we could make this work. I thought I could convince the creators that somehow we could be together, and that it wouldn’t affect anyone, but it did and it does. Now with the demons after you, I can’t put you in danger. I won’t risk it.”
I paused. “So this is it then…”
James hands on me softened.
“I love you, Lila. I always have. I always will.”
I reached up, a tear falling down my cheek, and kissed him softly on his lips, but I didn’t linger. I pulled away and whispered against his mouth. “I will never love another.”
I turned away from his grip and walked away. I didn’t stop walking, not until I was safely inside, behind the comfort of my front door. Only then did I press my back up against the wall. I fell slowly to the ground, tears streaming down my face as the harsh reality of everything sunk in…
Our love will be our downfall.
9… LOST
Sleep only came when I’d all but given up.
I cried until there was no more tears to be shed. I cried, until my eyes were unable to stay open any longer. I cried for the love that I’d found, the love that consumed me. I cried for the love I’d now lost and the heartach
e of knowing I would never be able to fill that whole in my heart; I could never love another.
I knew the reasons why we had to end our relationship, but it didn’t help the pain I felt. Not being with him felt so wrong. My heart was stained with a feeling I’d not yet experienced. I ached for James… for his love… for his touch.
I was naïve to think that our relationship wouldn’t have consequences.
We were two souls caught in two different times. Maybe if we had met in another time, a time when we were both humans… maybe we would have had a chance.
James had warned me that the creators weren’t happy with our relationship, and we didn’t heed their warnings, in fact, I’d pretty much forgotten about them. I was so wrapped up in James that I’d convinced myself we could be together, and that if the creators didn’t want us together, we would simply not have met, but James had changed my fate, I knew that.
I needed to talk to someone. I needed someone to tell me that everything was going to be alright. I would move on with my life and find happiness elsewhere.
In my moment of need, I did something I never expected to do. I called my parents.
Holding the phone in my hand, slightly shaking, I dialled my mum’s mobile.
“Jana speaking.” The voice of a woman with a British accent on the other end answered.
I quickly checked my phone, worried I’d called the wrong number. “Hi… Is… Um, Sarah there?” I stuttered.
“May I ask who’s speaking?”
“It’s Lila.”
“Is it urgent? Are you a client of hers?”
“No, I’m her daughter.”
“Oh, right. Sorry, Lila. She’s just in the boardroom at the moment. I’ll just go get her.”
“Okay.”
I waited on the line. With the time difference, it would have been past nine o’clock at night, but it wasn’t unusual for my parents to work late.
Jana returned to the phone. “Lila, you there?”
“Yeah.”
“Your mum is a bit tied up at the moment. Would you like her to give you a call back when she gets a chance?”
“No, that’s okay. Never mind. I’ve got to go anyway,” I lied. “Bye.”
“Okay, love. Take care.”
I hung up the phone and collapsed back onto my bed. I tried to shut the negative thoughts out of my head. I hadn’t talked to my parents in weeks. We barely ever called each other. In fact, we’d probably only talked half a dozen times on the phone this year.
I shouldn’t have even called.
I didn’t want to go to school, especially after that. In fact, I didn’t want to do anything. It was as if my purpose had gone. My passion and desire for life had gone. Without James, I felt like nothing.
I wouldn’t have gone to school, if not for Hayley. I wanted to be selfish in that moment, but I cared too much for her, and I didn’t want her to see me in pain. So I blocked it out. I blocked every single feeling I felt for James out. I couldn’t do that… I wouldn’t do that. I didn’t want to believe that it was over, so I refused to do just that. The only way I was going to live on, was to forget. I wasn’t going to let that emotion in.
I got dressed and drove Hayley to school. My pulse raced as I walked the halls. I stopped before my locker, keying in the code to open it. Pulling out the text books I needed for class, I closed it quickly, and walked towards the classroom for my first class.
I waited for that moment when I saw James and all those emotions I’d supressed would reveal themselves, but that time never came. He wasn’t in art class and I breathed a sigh of relief from his absence.
Our art pieces had been displayed for our fellow classmates to give their opinion and mark accordingly. The average total marks given weighted sixty percent of our total mark, the other forty percent was the mark given by Mrs Hughes.
With sweaty palms, I sat on the stool in front of my drawing, fiddling with the bracelet that Hayley had given me on my wrist. Although we weren’t allowed to wear fashion bracelets, only medical ones, I hadn’t taken it off since Hayley gave it to me, and no teacher had asked me to remove it, so I continued to wear it.
Rebel, I know.
The bouncing of my foot, which I’d become unaware I was doing, stopped the moment Mrs Hughes handed our grading paper to me.
“Ninety four percent,” I said quietly to myself, reading the mark out aloud.
A wide grin spread across my face. It was a better mark then I ever expected to get. I didn’t think the happiness I felt in that moment could be taken away by anything or anyone… that was, of course, until Mrs Hughes asked me where James was.
“I… I don’t know.”
I had managed to avoid looking at my drawing, I knew the unerring resemblance of James in it would stir up the emotions running inside of me, but at the mention of his name, my eyes met his in the drawing and I felt myself come undone.
I didn’t hear what Mrs Hughes said before she walked back to her desk. All I could hear was the dead silence around me.
My response to Mrs Hughes question hadn’t gone unnoticed. I tried to ignore the whispers around me, people commenting on James’s absence, and my lack of knowledge about his whereabouts. It didn’t help either, that my body language was against me. With my head hunched over, I avoided all contact with anyone.
The moment the bell rang, I left class quickly, seeking solace behind one of the buildings.
I pressed my back against the brickwork and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about him. Not now. Not now.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I stood up straight, opening my eyes to see Grace, one of my classmates, looking at me in concern.
Grace wasn’t like a lot of the other girls who went to Eden College. She was quiet and reserved with a kind soul. I didn’t see her much, she kept to herself mostly, but every time we talked, I wished we were closer friends. She was a friend worth having.
“Yeah, I’m just stressed.”
“Okay,” she replied in her soft voice, “but if you ever need help, or someone to talk to, I’m here.”
I smiled at her gesture. “’Thanks, Grace. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime,” she replied with a smile. “Did you want to walk to next period with me?”
I nodded. “Yeah, actually, that would nice.”
As Grace and I walked to our next class, the conversation between us was easy. She didn’t mention James and when I didn’t say much about the school formal that was happening the next day, she chimed in with something else completely off topic.
We parted ways by lunchtime and I was back to being by myself. Jackie had practice for the school formal, so she was too busy to see at lunch, so I kept to myself, retreating to the library.
Although everyone’s main focus was on the formal, there was still a lot of gossip and rumours going around about James, and some people weren’t shying away from asking me straight out. When my answer of ‘I don’t know’ wasn’t enough of a reason for some, I simply told them to ask James themselves when they saw him next.
I walked the school in silence for the rest of the day, moving from one class to another. I kept to myself. I was just trying to get through the day.
By the time I got home from school that day, I was exhausted. Exhausted from lack of sleep, from trying to keep my emotions at bay and for the deep worry and fear I had for James.
There was every possibility that I would never see him again. He may have left for good, and I held back the burning desire to let myself crumble at the thought.
Jackie called me after dinner concerned. She’d heard I was upset at school.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “How was your band practice?”
“It’s going well,” she replied. “We are just tweaking a few things at the moment, but most of it is all good.”
“Are you nervous about it?”
“I think my parents are more nervous about it than I am,” she laughed.
“Speaking of which,” she continued, “are your parents coming to the formal?”
“No, I don’t think so… I thought they might make an effort, but after our last encounter, I doubt it.”
“Oh, Lila,” Jackie said symphonically, “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I never expected them to come. I think the fight about University and dinner really ended it for us.”
“Have you thought about what Uni you’re going to go to?”
“Yeah, actually I’m looking into going to West Edge. I know it’s not the most sophisticated University, but it’s only an hour away, so I’ll be closer to Hayley. It also has a great arts program.”
“So you’re looking into doing an arts degree?”
“I think so. I dunno, I’m still undecided, but ever since I started drawing again, it’s made me think I’d like to major in art history.”
“That sounds great, Lila. You’ll be awesome at anything you do.”
“What about you? Still want to go to Henley’s?”
“That’s the plan. If not, I’ll compromise.”
Although I didn’t want to go to Hensley University, it would be a great University for Jackie to study at.
We talked for a few more minutes before I focused my attention on schoolwork. I laughed pitifully at myself, only I would be doing schoolwork on a Friday night before the school formal.
***
Jackie- Woohoo! You ready for tonight!
I yawned and grabbed a firmer grip on my phone. Still snuggled in bed, I replied.
Lila- Not really.
Considering I hadn’t even organised my hair, make-up, or anything else to go with the dress James had bought me, there was a good chance I was going to bail.
Jackie- Come on Lila! You so better not be a sour puss on the day of our formal!
I placed the phone down and took a deep breath.
Control, I reminded myself. Don’t let yourself go. Forget about James.
Lila- I promise to be on my best behaviour.
Jackie- Good! Coz it’s going to be the best night of our lives!
Angels of Moirai (Book One) Page 13
