“Maybe. But I still think you’re a good person. We’ve all done things in the past that we regret.”
“And some things we don’t.”
“Are you trying to scare me away?” She squeezed his hand. “You were more honest with me than I was with you. You gave me a chance to learn everything I could before going on a date with you. I wouldn’t have come if I was afraid.”
So sweet. And innocent. He shook his head again. “I don’t want to scare you away. And that’s selfish of me. But I think you’re looking at me too much as the man who was there when you needed someone. Anyone. You’ve gotta look past that and decide if you really want to get mixed up with a guy like me.”
“I probably shouldn’t want to. I mean, you work on cars for a living. If I want a sugar daddy, you’re a very bad choice.” She smirked. “Good thing that’s not what I want.”
“You know very well that’s not what I mean.” He frowned at her, letting his disapproval of her making light of everything harden his tone. “I’m all kinds of trouble, Tiny.”
She gave a mock shudder. “Oh, now I’m scared!”
He snorted. “And you were asking about me being a Dom? Not sure I’d put up with you being such a mouthy brat if I was.”
“Really?” She leaned forward, eyelashes fluttering. “What would you do?”
The possibilities thrilled him. Damn, he couldn’t help picturing her as his sub. Bending over one of those benches in the club, her little butt wiggling as she pushed for him to lay out some kind discipline. He shifted as his dick hardened, reaching across the table to frame her jaw with his hand, a slow smile crossing his lips as she went still. “I’d spank you. Which is why you’re playing this way, isn’t it? You need to know if I can do that for you. You’re really into that stuff, aren’t you?”
“I am.” She drew in a deep breath. “Can I be really honest with you?”
“Yes.” No question about it. He didn’t want this to end, but there was no point in going any further without honesty. Once she laid it all out there, he’d know the next step to take. And he knew that might be straight to his car to bring her home. And never look back. “I like spending time with you, Tiny, but sometimes things just can’t be—”
“I was raped.”
His stomach dropped. The waiter who’d served them all night came over, but Cort made a sharp motion with his hand to get rid of him. He pressed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “When?”
“I was sixteen. I’m over it.” She dropped her gaze to the table. “I’m okay, but sometimes . . . it’s hard to explain. If I didn’t feel the way I do about you, I wouldn’t tell you any of this. But since I do, I needed to say it. Needed you to know.”
“I’m glad you told me, but—fuck, I wouldn’t have—“
“Yeah, but I wanted you to.” Even as he was condemning himself for going so far with her, she was tugging at his hand and glaring at him. “I didn’t want you to see me as some delicate victim. I was so relieved that I could just go with it and you didn’t know enough to be all careful. But I can’t promise it will be like that all the time. I have flashbacks. I trip up. I . . . I don’t want to scare you away.”
“Not scared, Tiny. Nothing you say will scare me away.” He stood, still holding her hand, nodding at the waiter so the man could bring the bill. After paying for them both, he helped Tiny with her coat, sliding it over her slender arms, feeling her soft skin. He walked with her out to his car, keeping her close to his side the entire time. He couldn’t get those words out of his head. “I was raped.” He wanted to take that away. Wanted to make it so that had never happened to her.
He’d been able to stop it from happening to Jami. He hadn’t meant to kill the man, but he didn’t regret it. Not for a fucking second. And he’d love to know who’d dared hurt his Tiny so he could take out the bat again. He’d do more time to get some justice for her.
“You look pissed.” She drew away from him, facing him as he opened the passenger’s side door of his car. “Cort, it’s over.”
“It’s not over. It never will be. I saw how you looked after that guy mugged you. You were relieved that your money was all he wanted.”
“Yes.”
“Never again.” He raked his fingers through her silky hair, staring into her beautiful green eyes to make sure she got what he was saying. “Whether or not you want this to go any further, I need you to know I’m here. You’re safe.”
“I feel safe with you.”
“Good.”
“But don’t treat me differently. That would be horrible.” She ducked her head. Her cheeks were blazing red. “I like the way you were with me last time. Like it was okay to just go with it. Do what felt right.”
“That won’t change, Tiny.” He had to practically choke out the words without making it obvious. He wanted her; his body didn’t give a shit where his brain was at, but she really didn’t get it. He folded his shirt cuff over his wrist, bearing the number thirteen in Roman numerals, with a ½ beside it. “But you need to understand what you’re getting into.”
She paled a little as she stared at the tattoo. Twelve jurors. One judge. Half a chance at going free. She couldn’t understand. But she shook her head like it didn’t matter. “That’s not you.”
“Yes, it is. This is me. I’ve killed a man. And I would do so again if I had to.”
“If you had to,” she repeated very clearly. Maybe she did get it. Her chin jutted up. “Most people are capable of killing to protect themselves or the people they care about. I’d like to think I am.”
“Let’s hope you never have to find out.” He tucked her against his side as they walked back to his car. “Is there anything else you wanna tell me now? That you wanna know?”
“Now? No. Let’s just have some fun. This conversation is getting depressing.” She wrapped one arm around his waist, hooking her thumb to his belt. Damn, having her this close felt incredible. Such an affectionate little thing, so delicate, but she had some spirit.
Which made the fact that she didn’t pull away, didn’t act all tough like some of his exes, damn satisfying. She didn’t have to put on the hard front to stay on the level with him—a mistake too many women made. She proved she was strong enough to be a little vulnerable. She was slowly bearing it all, and he was amazed at himself for not wanting the date to end so he could get some play.
That changed the first time he fell on his ass. But her tinkling laugher made the bruises to his pride—and the rest of his body—so fucking worth it.
* * * *
Akira had been all ready for snuggling while watching a movie, but Cort’s surprise was so much better. He’d parked near an outdoor skating rink she’d been to a few times, assuring her they could go to the movie instead if she wanted.
She’d caught the uncertainty in his tone, but didn’t know what to make of it until they were both on the ice in their rented skates. He strode onto the ice with feigned confidence, and she’d found herself glancing back for him when she’d ended up halfway across the rink alone.
Cursing under his breath, then apologizing at a dirty look from a big woman with a pair of toddlers, Cort latched on to the boards surrounding the rink, trying to haul himself up. She’d rushed to his side, laughing as his skates slid out from under him.
“Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t skate?” She held out her hand, helping him up and staying close to him as he clung to the boards. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” His jaw hardened as he straightened. His skate blades cut into the ice. “Thought you’d like this. And . . . hell, little kids can do it. I’ll figure it out.”
He pushed away from the boards fast, and she glided up to his side before he could fall on his face. Apparently he thought this was something he could conquer with brute force. His skates dug grooves into the ice. She shook her head, trying not to laugh again.
“Use the boards to start off. Get used to the ice.” She gave him a hard look when he opened his mouth like
he’d argue with her. “If you were teaching me to shoot, would you just hand me a gun and say go for it?”
“Tiny, I’m never handing you a gun.” He frowned as she eased him back to the boards. “Why would you need a gun? Keep some Mace in your purse if you want, but I’ll—”
“Protect me?” She sighed. “Don’t start that, Cort. You can’t be with me all the time. And that’s not the point. This isn’t about guns. I have experience. You don’t.”
He inclined his head. One hand on the board, the other clasped with hers, he slowly made his way around the edge of the rink. Then he groaned, watching a little kid speed past them. “I look pathetic.”
“You do not. You’re learning, and I’m sure everyone thinks you’re a big sweetheart for coming out here with me.” Akira grinned as an elderly couple skated by, arm in arm, the old woman smiling at her and the old man giving Cort an approving nod. Some teens were snickering a ways off, but hopefully Cort didn’t notice them. “I think it’s hot.”
“Hot?” Cort tripped forward, letting out a rough laugh. “I make a hell of an ugly Bambi.” He smirked as she rolled her eyes. “But I think I’ll be pretty sore by the time we’re done.”
The implication in his tone had warmth rushing over her, and she was sure her cheeks were red. She gazed up at him, tonguing her bottom lip. Flirting didn’t come naturally to her, but it was so easy with him. She couldn’t wait to be alone with him. To run her hands all over his hard—and soon-to-be aching—body.
“I have a few ways to make you feel better.” Her breath caught as heat flared in his eyes. “But . . .”
“But what?” He chuckled. “There’s not much I won’t do for you, Tiny. Obviously.”
“I can see that. But I’m not sure you can pull this off.” She let out a dramatic sigh, then ducked away from him. “If you can catch me, I’ll do anything you want.”
His broad laugh had her grinning as she skirted across the ice, doing a few easy spins just to warm up. Being on the ice without needing to work out or practice was wonderful. She felt so alive and free, and having Cort with her made it that much more special. She alternated between zipping around the ice and coming to Cort’s side to help him try a few steps away from the boards. After about an hour he could slide a few feet without tipping over, but there was no way he could keep up with her. And the temperature had taken a nosedive.
She tried not to shiver, but he had a tendency to watch her very closely, and he caught her hand as soon as she glided close to him. The rink was almost empty. He managed to push off the boards and reach the part between them fairly steadily. He held her hand as he walked on his blades to the small wooden shelter where they’d left their boots under a row of benches.
After putting on his own boots, he settled his big hand on her shoulder, leaning close. “In case you missed it, I caught you.”
Her lips parted. She wrinkled her nose. “That’s cheating. You wouldn’t have caught me if I wasn’t coming over to see if you’d had enough.”
“I was doing just fine.” He grinned. “We’re leaving because you’re cold.”
“You’re so full of it.”
“And you’re adorable when you pout. Don’t be a sore loser. I won’t ask you for slave labor.” His brows lifted slightly. “Unless you’re into that?”
She snorted. “Umm, no. Doing dishes isn’t one of my kinks. And if you ever smack my butt and tell me to ‘Go make me a sandwich, Tiny,’ I’ll . . . do something nasty.”
“First of all, I never talk to women like that. Even when it’s what they’re used to. Second, if I’m smacking your butt, I won’t be sending you off to do anything.” He ran his knuckles down her cheek. “However, I would like to know what the ‘something nasty’ would be.”
Ugh, idle threat much? She tongued her bottom lip, a sharp shiver almost making her bite it. The best she could think of was giving him a dirty look and maybe a smart-assed remark. She finally shook her head. “I have no idea.”
He pulled her back to what she was beginning to consider her nice, comfy place against his side. And kissed the top of her head as he took her skates. “I’m sure you’d come up with something. I am duly warned. Let’s get you into my car, all nice and warm, so I can consider what my reward for catching you will be.”
“But you didn’t!” She laughed, skirting away from him, spinning as he called out and tossed her his car keys. She got in the car and blasted the heat while he returned their skates. The cold seemed to have set in deep, and the heat couldn’t quite reach her. Even as the numbness left her fingers, tiny shards of ice seemed to stab inside her toes.
She didn’t want the night to end, not yet, but she was looking forward to changing into nice comfy pj’s and slipping into her bed under a dozen blankets. As Cort climbed in behind the wheel, she glanced over at him, then ducked her head. There was only one way to get everything she wanted, but maybe asking would be too forward. Too . . .
Damn it, she didn’t want him to think she was a slut. But no matter how great of a guy he was, there was no way he’d take her asking him to come home with her as anything other than an invitation for more.
So don’t ask.
Cort turned to study her face, creases forming in his cheeks. “You look exactly like I do when I’m considering splurging on a new part for my car that I know I can’t afford. Want it so bad, but it would be irresponsible. Reckless. ‘I really shouldn’t . . .’”
“What do you do? Do you buy the part?” She leaned forward, bunching her hands in the bottom of her jacket. “Some things have to wait, right?”
“Some things do, yes. But sometimes you’ve got to go with your gut.” He cocked his head as though thinking over his words carefully. “If I can get a better deal holding off, I will. If taking on a few extra jobs will get me out of the hole quick, can make it so I won’t regret the buy, I lay the cash down and walk out with a heavy chunk of happy.”
Now that wasn’t helpful. She smiled, nodding as though she understood. “You seem like a hard worker. I’m sure you don’t regret things often.”
His lips thinned. “I am a hard worker. I also know how to make a good deal. People respect me, so they don’t try to screw me over. That respect is the reason I don’t often regret things.” He put his hand on her knee in a way that wasn’t even remotely sexual, not with the way he held her gaze. “I respect you, Tiny. Be straight with me about what you want. I’ll do the same and you can decide from there.”
All right, that did make sense. It was like she wanted something without knowing the price. And he was willing to negotiate. Her chin rose. “I’m cold. I want to go home and . . . and I want you to come with me. For the night. I know how that sounds, but—”
He pressed a finger to her lips and shook his head. “Do you want to know what it sounds like to me?”
She nodded.
“It sounds like you want to be close to me, want to be wrapped up in my arms without being groped. Want to feel safe and warm, and you think you can feel that way with me.” His tender smile softened the hard angles of his face. “I’d like that. I won’t lie and say I don’t want more—eventually. But after what you told me, it’s pretty fucking awesome that you’d trust me enough to even consider asking me to spend the night.”
She giggled, all the tension from before gone so fast she felt a little light-headed. “You swear a lot.”
His lips slanted ruefully. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I don’t mind.” She put her hand over his on her knee. “I’m sold. I know exactly what I’m buying—not sure you know what you’re getting into, though. I was thinking a nice, long massage to settle our debt.” She ran her fingers over the back of his hand, her head tilted in thought. “So although I expect you to keep your hands to yourself, I won’t be doing the same.”
He groaned, then laughed. “Damn, girl. You’re gonna test me, aren’t you?”
“I won’t mean to,” she said playfully. “Why? Are you afraid you’re
gonna fail?”
Taking the car out of park, he shook his head, bringing both hands to the steering wheel as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Nope. Not an option.”
* * * *
Cort muffled a groan in the pillow beneath him as Tiny dug her fingers into the tight muscles of his thigh. His dick pressed into the bed, hard as molded cement, but he did his best to ignore it. The massage was damn satisfying, even if parts of him didn’t agree.
When they’d gotten here, his Tiny had quietly led him to her room without even letting him take off his boots. She’d knelt to remove them, but he’d stopped her, insisting she change into something nice and comfortable before she did anything for him.
Big mistake. Thankfully, she’d taken her clothes to the bathroom to change, but the flashes of her cute little creamy pink nightie under her long, white night robe made keeping his hands off her challenging. Worse, she’d had him strip down to his boxers, so he could feel the bare skin of her legs against his thighs.
It reminded him of all the pop quizzes he’d failed in high school. He knew the right answer, but his mind raced and his brain stalled. Best if he didn’t move. Didn’t speak.
“Tattoos used to scare me,” she whispered.
He sucked in a breath as she ran a finger from the beginning of the tattoo on his back, starting at the base of his spine, all the way up to his shoulder. Full patch members of his stepfather’s MC got the club logo—which reminded him a lot of Ghost Rider and was pretty lame—tattooed on to show dedication to the gang, but his mother had begged him not to. And even though he’d been young and idolized his dad, he’d made her that promise. Actually, she’d given her permission when he turned seventeen to get the tattoo Tiny was tracing with her fingertip. His mom’s brother was a tattoo artist and had done the job free for Cort’s birthday.
Since his Tiny was Asian, he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about his having used a lotus flower and koi for the tattoo covering the expanse of his back, but he’d been obsessed with the symbolism ever since the only teacher who’d ever gotten through to him—a Korean teacher in grade nine—showed Cort his tattoo and explained the meaning. Overcoming obstacles, strength, rebirth, there was so much to the legends that he used for direction when his life went to hell.
Delayed Penalty (The Dartmouth Cobras #5) Page 9
