“I… I don’t understand,” Izzy mumbled. She didn’t like the fact that this woman seemed to know more about her feelings than she did.
“You think you are frustrated,” the psychic began, “because you are not sure why out of all the people in this world, Johnny Clover was sent to you. Three and a half weeks later and you still do not understand. But Isabelle, you are not yet supposed to understand that. Everything will reveal itself to you when it is appropriate to do so. The real reason you a frustrated, my dear, is because you feel something for Johnny Clover you do not understand. You know that it is highly improbable for the pirate to feel something for you in return, and so your frustration simply escalates. But I am here to tell you that Johnny Clover needs you more than he realizes. There is a reason why he was sent to you and no one else, and it has to do with the fact that you can provide him with something nobody else can.”
“And what’s that, exactly?” Izzy asked, furrowing her brow as flashes of Johnny and Candy began to decorate her mind. “He seems to be provided for, from what I could tell.”
Another knowing smile littered the psychic’s striking face. “Well, at this moment, you are providing him with a good dose of guilt,” she told the woman.
Izzy looked at the woman with disbelief clearly etched out onto her features. “Right,” she said, slipping her hand out of the woman’s. “Well, I should get going. It’s cold, it’s late, and I’m really tired.”
“If I may offer you one point of advice, Isabelle,” the psychic called, stopping the retreating woman once again. Izzy glanced over her shoulder and looked at the psychic expectantly. “Do not go home tonight. If you have a friend, stay with her.” The woman’s eyes darkened almost to a midnight color. “Make him sweat it out.”
Izzy glanced in front of her, staring into the black, starless sky. She wasn’t sure if Johnny would be ‘sweating it out,’ as the psychic had said. When she turned around to thank the psychic, the woman was gone. Izzy’s hair stood up once again, and she gulped before deciding to follow the psychic’s advice.
To Bex’s it was.
Chapter 17
Candy’s fingers curled around Johnny’s wrist, preventing him from opening the door and going after Izzy. Johnny stopped short, trying to regain composure with a deep sigh, before turning around and eyeing the young woman with an unreadable stare. Though the room was dark for the most part, Candy could easily see the frustration and even the anger packed behind those eyes of his, and felt herself let go of him. He didn’t have to open his mouth to say anything; his eyes did that for him. She had never seen him look this upset before, and she didn’t want to be the person he took his anger out on. Though she longed to call him back because she had wanted some alone time with the mysterious man from England, she pressed her lips together so they molded into a thin line. Johnny clenched his jaw, causing it to pop slightly, before nodding his thanks once and heading out the door.
Now, where could Izzy be? His eyes glanced at the floor of the bar, but found that besides Zach putting the chairs on the tables as he usually did, no one else was out there. The pirate began searching through the bathroom, going into both sets of bathrooms, and even asking Brian if he knew where she might be.
“If Izzy finishes early, I let her go,” Brian had explained to him.
So it was likely that she wasn’t even there anymore.
Johnny pushed out the back door, and once his eyes got used to the darkness, he tried to find her moving silhouette retreating back to her nearby apartment. His brows were pushed up and his lips were pushed out into a frown. He turned around so he was facing the opposite direction, but again, he found no luck in trying to find her. He reached in his trench coat pocket and slipped out one of his last rolls of tobacco. The man had been trying to ration them when he realized he was running low, especially since cigarettes here could be quite expensive and didn’t taste as good. He stuck the dark brown stick into his mouth and lit a match, touching the flame to the end of the roll. Immediately, he inhaled the toxins, feeling his tense body start to relax.
“Now what?” he asked to himself as smoke filtered out of his mouth, his eyes ascending up to the sky. His frown only deepened when he realized that tonight did not provide him with diamond-like stars. Instead, purple haze masked the majority of celestial bodies the night provided the naked eye. Even the moon was new, and thus, was not out. Johnny, for the first time since falling into this new world, truly felt alone.
You’ll find her, of course, a voice told him as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. What if she’s hurt somewhere, if she needs your help in some way? You’re just standing there smoking, doing nothing!
She’s fine by herself, another voice pointed out skeptically. She’s been here before without you, and if you disappear, she’ll be fine without you.
“I don’t want to disappear,” Johnny mumbled to himself as he placed the tobacco between his lips once again.
And why not? the second voice asked, and Johnny was sure if there was a body that went along with his voice, his hands would be on his hips. Don’t you miss the ease the past offers you? Being naïve and unaccountable for anything? Women at every port ready to throw themselves you? The best, finest wine just waiting for your lips to touch? More of your favorite rolled tobacco? Your boat waiting for your use once again, eager to help you make your hasty escape whenever need be? How could you not want to go back to that? So you have to take on a captain-role in an impending war. Would you rather be here?
“Yes,” Johnny told himself, even nodding once. His index finger touched his bottom lip as though he was deep in thought. “Yes, I think I would.”
And why is that? the second voice asked, a bit annoyed. What does this life have to offer you that your original one doesn’t? So what if they have advanced technology, scantily dressed women willing to throw themselves at you without payment, and other stuff? What could you possibly want here that doesn’t satisfy you there?
“Izzy,” he murmured without actually thinking. “This life has Izzy and my other one did not.”
Izzy? the voice exclaimed. A woman?! And why are you feeling guilty for being caught in the closet anyways? You are a man with desires and needs (which, by the way, have not been fulfilled as of yet) and Izzy knows this. She told you not to bring any women back to the apartment, and you followed her rule. What did she expect?!
“She walked in,” Johnny told himself. “She wasn’t supposed to have walked in.”
Well, she did, and that’s that, the voice said, and if it had hands, it would be wiping them together dismissively. You had better not apologize either, Johnny Clover. You did absolutely nothing wrong, and you know that. It was her fault for not knocking and just letting herself in.
Right, the first voice said dryly. Because she’s supposed to knock when it concerns the supply closet.
“Ooh,” Johnny said, grabbing his head with both hands and shaking it. “Both of you, shut it. I don’t want to listen to either of you anymore.” He forced himself to start walking again, following the dim light provided by the lampposts. He wasn’t exactly sure where Izzy was at this moment, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about her. However, he decided to just head back home, and with this thought, he shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling his shoulders slump forward. Even if the second voice in his head was right and he didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, Johnny couldn’t prevent the guilt from seeping through his body.
But the voice was right. Technically, he hadn’t done anything wrong. And yet, when he had looked into Izzy’s eyes, the only thing he could find in them was hurt. When he saw that, he couldn’t help but feel hurt in return. It wasn’t as though he had intended to hurt her, of course, but it didn’t seem to matter. It was so evident that he had. He had never seen her so vulnerable in that short instant, except the first night he had arrived, when she had found out about Zach.
Wait, was he comparing himself to Zach? Even he admitted that he
dabbled in a non-monogamous lifestyle, and he was quite happy with that decision. However, he had never committed to one woman in the first place and then cheated on her, as they called it here. He was always upfront about how he viewed life, and that there was no changing him, especially when he didn’t believe in love.
But Izzy did believe in love. And the pirate found that he cared about what she cared about, however nonsensical it seemed to him.
Maybe he should apologize to her. He just wasn’t sure what to apologize for. Even if, and this was quite a big hypothetical, he actually liked her enough to engage in some kind of relationship with her didn’t mean that he actually had. He hadn’t asked her, and she hadn’t brought it up. Logically, she had no reason to be upset with him. He was a free man, and could do whatever he wished with whomever he wished.
When was love ever logical? the first voice asked, and Johnny could see that it was currently raising an eyebrow – if it had one, anyways. It sounds like you’re falling into it, mate.
“Am not,” Johnny said with a frown as he headed up the stairs and to Izzy’s front porch. He paused for a moment, his eyes gazing at the door where Izzy had found him his first morning in this place. She had invited him to breakfast, bought him food, and continued to help him after he had accidentally called her fat. And she had allowed him to live with her. Bought him clothes. Got him a job. She really had done a lot for him, and she didn’t even really know him.
How? How could she trust him like that?
He grabbed the keys Izzy had made him and slid the contraption into the door before opening it. Immediately, Johnny noticed the house was dark save for the kitchen light the young women kept on throughout the day to ward off burglars. Did that mean she was still gone, or had she forgotten to turn it off when she had gotten home? Johnny shut and locked the door behind him. When his gaze caught Izzy’s room, he noticed the door was closed. Maybe he could sort this whole mess out in the morning. And maybe he would be able to sort his feelings out for her by that time as well.
Chapter 18
It was nine o’clock in the morning, and Izzy had yet to emerge from her room. Johnny had awoken early, maybe sixish, because he had wanted to make sure to catch the sunrise as the rays touched down on the water so it sparkled beautifully against the sky. At least, that was what he had told himself. Once the spectacle was over, he took a seat in the dining room where he happened to be staring at her bedroom door. An hour later, he made himself some cereal (Izzy had taught him the joys of simplistic eatery) and poured himself some juice. Izzy had inquired about his preference for coffee, but after he had tried the vile liquid, he decided against it. Izzy smiled at this; she didn’t like the drink anyways.
What was he to do except listening to the ticking of the clock? It wasn’t until nine thirteen that Johnny pushed himself off the wooden chair and headed towards her room. He felt his hand head towards the doorknob, but he stopped himself and sighed through his nose, hoping to control his nerves. Speaking of which, why were the buggers bothering him at this time? He had known her for nearly a month now, and since they were cohabiting together and working side by side, their knowledge for each other had grown. He felt something for her; he wasn’t exactly sure what. Maybe this was what it felt like to confront a friend? Yes, a friend. She was just a friend.
A friend that didn’t bloody wake up early!
Instead of blindly opening the door and intruding on her privacy, Johnny rapped his knuckles on the surface of the door. He didn’t want to pound, but at the same time, he really did want to see her, to reassure himself that she was all right, despite the events of the previous night. He stood there, looking at the door expectantly before running his long fingers through his shaggy hair. Currently, he was decked out in his usual nightwear; a white wife beater and plaid pajama bottoms. These ones were blue and black; he preferred the red and black ones.
She still had yet to answer.
Frowning at this, Johnny pushed his brows together and brought his fingers to his chin. Maybe he hadn’t knocked loud enough. Maybe she was sleeping too deep. Maybe… What if she was ignoring him? His frown deepened, causing a vertical indention to plaster the space between his brows.
She wouldn’t ignore him, would she? A flash of Izzy’s face popped into his mind, complete with the look of sadness, betrayal etched out into her vivid eyes. Hell hath no woman, he always said, and he had found out on numerous occasions how true that philosophy really was. So, if he used that sort of reasoning, then yes, she might be ignoring him. On purpose, much less! The gall of that woman! It wasn’t as though he had done anything to hurt her intentionally! He had a mind to march right into her bedroom, damn the consequences and damn the proper etiquette.
And so he did.
Except that when he entered her bedroom, he found it to be remarkably… empty. He stepped further into her room, his ever-sharp chocolate eyes scanning the room intricately, hoping to find some sort of oddity that would tell him she had been here last night. But she hadn’t been there last night. He most certainly would have heard the front door open, her soft footsteps as they padded across the living room, the opening and closing of her door. Normally he was a deep sleeper, but when it came to her, well, he supposed it was slightly different because she was his friend… Her bedroom was in good shape, considering she had to juggle higher education, a job, and a pirate. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, simply inhaling the vanilla and strawberry scent as it filled his pointed nose.
Suddenly, a familiar sound at the front door caused any and all thoughts to vanish from his mind. It was a key! Izzy had told him that was a sound of a key entering the door, and only he, Bex, and Izzy had keys to get into the apartment. Considering the fact that he was here, he had a fifty percent chance that it was Izzy, and another fifty percent chance that it was Bex. He pushed his lips down and he furrowed his brow; he hoped it wasn’t Bex.
When he walked out into the living room, Johnny found that it was exactly the person he had wanted to see. Izzy looked absolutely fresh, as though she had a very nice sleep. While Johnny wasn’t quick to admitting it even to himself, his sleep wasn’t as grand. In fact, he thought the word sleep was an overestimation of what had engulfed him the night before. Perhaps doze would work better. So, while he was quite relieved that Izzy was all right, to see her so happy when he was so… flustered, caused him to get… well, even more flustered. And this caused him to get upset.
So when the pirate spoke, he might have been a tad presumptuous. “Where, exactly, were you last night?” he asked her, his tone immediately taking on suspicion as his eyes narrowed into hers. What if she had been with a man last night? Well, he would take care of whoever might have violated her, and then… He didn’t even want to entertain the possibility that she was with somebody else besides him. Wait, wait, wait-
“Excuse me?” Izzy asked him, scrunching her brows together. “Who are you, my mother?”
“I feel as though since we have been cohabiting together for nearly a month, you owe me some sort of explanation as to the whereabouts of where you’ve been,” Johnny continued, not exactly sure if what he had said made sense. As long as he made his point, however, he was satisfied.
“Yeah, well the stunt you pulled last night told me that I don’t have to tell you anything,” Izzy muttered, raking her fingers through her golden hair.
“So this is about my little escapade with Candy in the closet, is it?” Johnny asked, his brow raising as he moved towards her. “Well, just so you know, my preferences to women are none of your concern and as a result, I do not have to say anything.”
“Exactly!” Izzy exclaimed, throwing her arms out and giving him an obvious look. “So where I was last night is none of your business.”
Johnny opened his mouth to respond to her, but paused for a moment as his eyes glanced at the ceiling. Much to his dismay, the retort he had been looking for was not on the ceiling, and nowhere he could see. Izzy’s triumphant smirk only caused him to scowl,
and he shook his head, causing his dark hair to follow his movements.
“Was it with a man?” he suddenly asked, his desire to know outweighing his pride at that point. “You know, I never actually took you for a whore, Isabelle.”
“Don’t you ever call me a whore, Johnny Clover,” Izzy all but shouted, stalking over to him so she was mere inches from his face. Her eyes burned with hot, unshed tears, offended that he could even insinuate such a thing about her. “Don’t you ever say that to me when you were gallivanting in a closet with the bar slut.”
“Is this about jealousy?” Johnny asked, his voice returning to its normal inflection as he crossed his arms over his chest and regarded Izzy with an inquiring gaze. “Are you jealous of my decidedly intimate interaction with Candy?”
Beautiful Disaster (A Pirate Romance book, Historical Romance) Page 9
